Dean had decided even before he had gone to hell that his brother would be safer without him around. In fact he'd almost hoped that they wouldn't manage to bring him back.
Almost.
Sam's willingness to summon and listen to Ruby terrified him. His brother's desire to sacrifice himself, begging Ruby to help him even at the last minute before midnight, had Dean running scared.
He had meant what he had said about him being Sam's weakness. He knew his brother would do anything for him and Dean didn't want another Winchester doing something that he'd regret later, and like it or not Dean regretted making the deal. He didn't regret the decision to bring his brother back; he'd do that again in a heartbeat, only the heartache that the deal had caused Sam. The friction the deal had caused between them over the last few months, as Sam tried to find a way to break the deal and Dean had tried to stop him, had also worn Dean down.
He'd do anything to go back a year and find something, anything else to save Sam.
Unlike his dad Dean had had a whole year to live with the consequences of his rashness and what that had meant for both him and his brother. He had had time to feel fear and regret, feel his brother's pain every time he thought he'd had an out for Dean only to have the door close on him. He could feel Sam's sorrow and grief at not having been able to stop him dying, because only one year ago this sorrow and grief had been his, and it had made him do something crazy. Dean had decided that if he loved his brother he'd have to leave him, it was the only way to keep Sam safe, even if it broke both their hearts to do it.
Dean knew he wasn't thinking straight, knew that even by his standards he was a car wreck but the only thing he could think of right now was putting as much distance between him and New Harmony as possible. And he knew where he'd to go, who to go to, someone who wouldn't question him but would help him none the less.
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Jo was sitting at the bar of the pub that she now owned.
Ellen had given her half of the insurance money she had got from the roadhouse burning down; deciding to cut her losses and run, and Jo had invested it in the bar in Duluth.
It had raised her mom's eyebrows when she saw what Jo had changed the name of the bar to. It wasn't lost on Ellen that her daughter now spent every night in the Winchester Arms. Jo's only comment was she thought it sounded better than the Harvelle Arms and Ellen, for once, had had the sense to let it slide.
Now Jo was sitting at a table in that empty bar with her phone in her hand waiting for the call from her mom to let her know if the Winchesters were ok, well one Winchester in particular. When the phone rang however she found she was afraid to answer it. She flipped the phone open just before it went to voice mail.
"Well?"
Her mother paused before she answered. "Bobby called. I'm sorry Jo, they couldn't stop it, and Dean's gone. The hellhounds, Bobby and Sam, they just weren't able to help. He's dead Jo." Her mother's voice sounded strained and Jo knew that she had been crying.
"And Sam?" Jo was struggling to keep her voice even, trying to keep her emotions under check.
"He's ok, well he's not hurt at least, probably a long way from being ok though. Bobby said he's with Dean just now, won't let anyone else near."
"Bobby ok?" Jo was going through the motions, asking after them one by one to keep her mind from cracking at the fact her mom had just told her that Dean was dead.
"He's broken but his main concern at the moment is Sam. I've never heard Bobby sound so sad in my life Jo. Him and Dean have always been close; think he's going to take this hard when it's had time to hit him." Jo knew her mom was crying again, her sorrow shared for all three.
"How are you?" Jo could feel her voice started to break.
"I can't quite believe it, Dean didn't deserve this you know, he was a good person and I liked him a lot, even if he did damn near get you killed." Ellen gave a little laugh but it was hollow sounding.
Jo had to go, needed to hang up before she lost it completely.
Dean was dead, worse than dead.
"Call me then if you need me for anything, anything at all. I need to go." She snapped the phone shut, stared at it for a moment like it had bitten her and threw it across the bar as hard as she could.
She sat clasping her hands in front of her, the tears trailing down her cheeks; she felt grief rising in her like a tidal wave threatening to drown her.
She scraped back the chair and walked round to where the empty bottles she had collected from the tables lay. One by one she took them and hurled them at the wall opposite, the glass exploding like her anger and grief at the night's events. She screamed as she let each one fly. She screamed again once she was finished and then walked to the wall and slid down it letting her emotions overtake her, sobs wracking her body, holding none of her grief back.
Jo loved Dean. It was that simple. She had almost from the first moment that she'd met him, he was kind and funny and he cared about her, not in the way she would have liked but it was enough knowing that there was someone out there who would be there for her if she needed it.
She knew that he didn't love her, not like that, looked on her more as little sister, that and he was scared to really let anyone in with the job he did, but it didn't make her grief at his passing any less.
More than once she had sat with his number up on her phone wanting to call him, just to hear his voice, but unable to think what she would say when he answered. Now she would no longer be able to, he was no longer there to answer.
She wanted to call Sam, provide some words of comfort but the thought of the last time they had been in this bar together stopped her, she knew he had been possessed but he had been so cruel to her and she wasn't ready to speak to him just yet, needing to get her own emotions under control first. She looked at the remains of her phone lying on the floor, beside she'd need to go home and get her spare phone now before she could call anyone.
Pulling herself off the floor she picked up the phone, retrieved the card from it and threw the phone in the trash. She then set about the task of cleaning up the mess that she had made. She cleaned the bar to take her mind off everything that was happening finally giving up after three hours and half a bottle of whisky later. She needed to go home, try to sleep, clear her head, she would phone Bobby in the morning, let him look after Sam tonight.
Jo switched the lights off at the door and walked through pulling out her keys as she did, her shaky hands causing her to drop them. She cursed and bent to pick them up and that's when it caught her eye. The black metallic body shone dully under the light from the road, it was parked at the opposite end of the lot, facing the door. The dim light from the road did not however reach the interior of the car and she couldn't tell if its occupant was still inside.
Jo figured it must be Sam because it sure as hell was Dean's car. Slowly she approached the car trying to get a better angle to see inside as she did.
If it was Sam why the hell didn't he get out and greet her?
"Sam? Sam? Is that you?"
Suddenly afraid she pulled her knife from her belt. The car was empty. She realised that someone was behind just as she started to turn. Jo raised the knife but knew that she had left it too late; the figure behind her grabbed her wrist and dis-armed her in one fluid movement.
She almost screamed as she looked up into face of Dean Winchester.
"Jo, Jo it's alright, it's me. It's Dean." She pulled out of his grip and staggered back only the Impala stopping her from falling.
"You're dead." Her voice was cold, Jo was convinced that this was some kind of trick, after all it was her own mom that had confirmed Dean's passing to her.
He stepped closer to her pinning her almost against the car.
"Jo, it's ok, really it's me, Sam saved me somehow, brought me back from………" Dean found that he could bear to vocalise where he had been.
"So where is Sam then, if you're really Dean no way you'd have left your brother especially not tonight after what he'd been through. I don't believe it's you." Jo was reaching for the flask of holy water she now kept in her jacket, after Sam's last little visit.
"I left him behind Jo, and this is the perfect night to do it, 'cause then I only have to break his heart once. I couldn't stay Jo; I didn't even think that he'd be able to bring me back but he did and now the only way I can keep him safe is to leave him behind. Please Jo, I swear it's me, and I need your help, I've got nowhere else to go. Please?" Dean sounding needy did not help her thinking that this wasn't him, she had never heard him sounds so broken.
Dean lowered his head making Jo look down too and for the first time Jo realised that he was barefoot. She stepped forward and raised the t-shirt he wore; the scars on his chest were silver and almost shone even in the poor light. Jo reached up to his face and touched him almost expecting him to disappear as she did.
"How'd they heal so fast?" She prodded him in the chest drawn a pain gasp of pain from him.
"Honestly, I don't know, must have been Sam, I think it was his tears, you know, but I'm not sure. Are you gonna help me or should I go?" He put his hand under her chin and made her look directly into his eyes.
"Yeah, I'll help."
"No questions?" He touched her hair and she felt the tears try to escape her again despite her struggle not to.
"No questions, for now at least." She walked to the passenger door of the car.
"My rooms nearby, you drive." She climbed into the car and watched as he got in too.
"Turn right and just follow the road, I'll tell you when to stop." She leant again the passenger door still not 100 sure that this was actually Dean but sure enough to give him the benefit of the doubt for now.
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