Nobody ever guessed what the song was, so I updated a few things in the first chapter. I hadn't planned on writing a second chapter, but after being accused of being cruel and mean to our babies, I decided I too have a heart and must make things right. Here's the start of that.
A/N: I feel like my writing for this story is just off - and maybe it's because it's not pure smut like most of my other stuff. I don't know. I feel like I'm being erratic and inconsistent with my timeline. If anything seems off, please let me know so I can fix it! I want you to have the best reading experience possible.
It had been roughly five months since she'd last seen Maura, eleven months since everything had started.
Jane thought she saw her former lover jogging in the Common along Boylston. It was about 6pm, but still very light outside. She reflexively ducked down behind a nearby parked car, hoping she'd not been seen, as maybe-Maura had been running toward her. She stayed down for several minutes, waiting for her to make sure she had passed.
But just thinking that she'd seen Maura brought everything rushing back and suddenly she couldn't breathe. Her heart felt like it was cracking open again (not that it had ever really healed to start with) and it all finally came pouring out. She choked back a sob, the back of her hand over her mouth, balled in a fist.
Less than 20 minutes later, she showed up at her mother's – still Maura's guesthouse – for the first time in months. Tears were streaming down her face.
Her mother opened the door in a panic after Jane pounded on it several times.
"Janie?" Her mother was shocked as she took in her daughter's appearance. "Oh honey, what happened? Oh my god, did something happen to Frankie? Or Tommy?"
Jane took in a shuddered breath and kept crying, but shook her head no.
Angela pulled her into a hug and Jane just clung to her, sobbing.
"Baby, what happened?" her mother asked in a soft voice.
"I fucked it up, Ma. I ruined the best thing I've ever had in my entire life and nobody ever even knew it!"
Angela pulled Jane back to look at her face. "Maura?" was all she asked.
Jane nodded and the tears started again. "It's all my fault she's gone! It's all my fault!"
Leading Jane into the house, they both went to the sofa and sat down. Angela turned herself toward Jane and put her hands on top of Jane's, which were resting in her lap. "Did you and Maura get into a fight? That's why she left?"
Jane hung her head in shame.
Angela saw the tears fall, landing on Jane's jeans.
"You and Maura were together, weren't you?" her mother asked quietly.
Jane looked up, her cheeks stained with so many tears.
"How long?"
"Six months," Jane whispered.
"And that's why she left? Because you broke up?"
"Well yes and no," Jane replied before sighing. "She left because I kept refusing to make us public," she explained, dropping her head again.
"Why?"
"I was afraid."
"Of?"
"I was afraid everyone would hate me for loving a woman. I thought you would hate me, Ma. We're Catholic, so I just kinda thought people would be...I dunno," Jane shrugged, still looking down at her lap.
Angela cupped Jane's chin and forced her daughter to look at her. "Jane Clementine Rizzoli, where did I fail to make sure you knew that I would love you no matter what? Nothing could ever make me stop loving you, Jane. Absolutely nothing. Do you understand that?"
"I miss her, Ma. And god, I just...I need her. My life doesn't make any sense without her, which is so stupid and makes me sound like a teenager, but it's true! But she won't ever speak to me again."
"Have you tried?"
Jane was silent and looked down yet again.
"Look, baby. You got yourself in this mess by being a coward. Are you really going to keep this up?"
"I don't even know if her number's the same. We haven't had any contact at all."
"It is. She left me a voicemail last week about someone coming to clean the outside of the house."
"But she's not going to answer, because she knows my number!" Jane pleaded.
"Use my cell phone. She'll answer. She'll be mad at me for it, but she'll get over it," Angela reasoned.
"Ma, I can't..." Jane started.
"Call her. Right now," Angela said sternly. She pulled her cell phone from her back pocket and put it in Jane's hands.
Jane sat there with the phone in her hands for a minute or so, just staring at it. Finally, she dialed Maura's number and Maura's name popped up on the screen. She touched the send button.
After two rings, Maura answered slightly out of breath, but cheerfully, "Hi Angela! How are you?"
Jane felt like her vocal chords were broken. Her mother pinched her leg, causing her to let out a squeak.
"Hello, Angela? Are you ok–"
"It's Jane."
Silence on the other end. Then a sigh. "What do you want, Jane?" Her tone indicated that she was very reluctant to talk – much different from the tone she'd had while answering the phone.
"C-can we talk? In person? I know I don't deserve it, Maura, but if you'll please just listen to what I have to say–"
Maura's reply was quick and firm, "I'll be there at Angela's in an hour."
The line went dead.
Please let me know what you think!