The Eyes

The light of the body is the eye:
therefore when thine eye is single,
thy whole body also is full of light;
but when thine eye is evil,
thy body also is full of darkness.

The Bible, Luke 11:34

Clarissa Fray was living in New York as long as she remembered. She was happy, she was talented, though she'd never really agreed to that, she was perfectly normal. At least she thought she was. Her mom had always kept her close, protected her and made her tears go away every time Clary was thinking about her father. When she tried to remember her childhood day she always recollected herself with a pencil and a sketchbook. Drawing was her way to escape, her way to express all the feelings and to take all the strange images floating in her head away.

She drew strange creatures with crazy eyes and deathly claws, beautiful fairies with dead eyes, vampires on bikes flying among the stars and wolves with warm loving faces. She remembered how her school art teacher once told her that she has talent but strange approach to picturing classic mystic creatures. She used not to paying attention to it, thinking that it's just her imagination playing tricks on her, making her feel things differently. After all she was just a normal girl.

When she turned twelve she started to draw this beautiful boy with golden hair and golden eyes. Something in him made her love and fear him in the same time. Clary tried to forget his face, but somehow she always found herself sketching him over and over again. Simon, her best friend, had always taunted her about him. Like if she was in love with an imaginary boy. Clary laughed and said that Simon's just jealous. She couldn't even imagine how right she was. Simon couldn't imagine how right he was, even if at the moment she had no idea.

Clary was growing up and the boy in her sketchbook grew with her, becoming more mature, more manlike, more and more beautiful and frightening at the same time. Sometimes he appeared in her dreams, white feathered wings sprouting out of his back. With closed eyes she touched his bare chest and felt as if nothing and no one else existed, as if they were alone in the world. Some nights she imagined what it would be like to meet him, to talk to him and to look in his warm golden eyes. In her head he was fast and deadly strong, he was meant to protect her from all the awful demons that she drew and saw in her dreams. In her head he was meant to make her heart flip, her breath deepen and her cheeks flash. He was meant to love her the way no one could.

When she was fourteen a new figure appeared in her sketchbook. A dark, scary boy with white hair and dead eyes made her uncomfortable, he was incredibly beautiful, not as beautiful as her golden boy though. He was dark; the aura around him was scary, though he was just a drawing. In her dreams he always tried to harm Clary in different refined ways. She was terrified, but something in him felt strangely familiar, almost as if he was somebody that she used to know.

With time Clary started to think that there was something wrong with her, that normal people aren't afraid of things that don't exist, but everything in her screamed otherwise. She felt like all the scary images and frightening creatures she sketched weren't just her imagination, but pushed those thoughts as far in her mind as possible. She tried very hard to act normal, to be normal.

When she turned fifteen she started drawing strange signs, like hieroglyphs. Clary had no idea what they meant, but had a strange feeling that they meant something. For her they were just doodles, but her mother looked really agitated when one day she saw them. Something in her eyes made Clary wonder what was really going on. Maybe she was crazy, schizophrenic, and her mother was trying to protect her from knowing that? But all Clary wanted was to be normal and at some point she was. She lived in New York with her mother, with stories of her father; she had a best friend, attended school and had the same rebellion phases that every normal teenager had. But who knew that this perfectly normal teenage desire to rebel and go to a club instead of staying home one night would let her see everything in a new light.

Clarissa Fray as she was died that night, just stopped existing, making her finally understand everything that was happening to her from the beginning. All she remembered, all she knew and felt was a lie, perfectly planned and put in her head by her own mother. Who knew that all these years she was living in a lie?

The moment she noticed two guys following a blue haired boy and an astonishingly beautiful girl into the storage room, something clicked inside her. She needed to know what was going on, one of the boys had a knife and Clary couldn't let them harm anyone, she was experiencing different tortures in her dreams for a long time and wouldn't wish it even on her worst enemy. A flash of golden hair drew her attention even more. Though Simon was already heading for the Security, she couldn't help but move towards the mystery group; she felt a strange urge to see what's going on.

When she understood that she really was the only one seeing them, her shock was unbearable, that was probably why she'd never told Simon the truth. Or maybe she wanted to keep something only for herself, all those years when she thought she was crazy, and only now Clary saw that the whole time she was right. There is something magical in this world, something that only she is able to see and comprehend.

But there was more, there was something she didn't want to admit even to herself – the boy. The golden haired boy with warm golden eyes, exactly like she pictured him, was looking at her with a mixed expression of astonishment and recognition. His name was Jace, a perfect name for an imaginary boy turned up to be real, Clary thought to herself. There wasn't much to be said to explain all this, nothing could've convinced Clary at the moment, that she wasn't crazy or dreaming, but when Simon came with the Security guys, Jace's half-apologetic, half-mocking shrug made her keep those three to herself. Later that night she tried to analyze why she said nothing and the reason that Simon couldn't see them wasn't really convincing enough.

And the next day everything started moving too fast for Clary. Jace was there again, as if he was drawn to her like she was the other night in the club. Of course he was sent to bring her to the Institute, but it could've been anyone – Isabelle or Alec, that not-so-pleasant other boy, but it was him, Jace, the boy she drew in her sketchbook since she was twelve. This must've been the real magic, or how else all this could've happened. He wasn't real, he couldn't have been, Clary invented him herself, how was all this possible?

But somehow all this made sense – the demons, scary creatures with claws and teeth she drew all the time, vampires on bikes, werewolves with faces, it all made perfectly good sense. If Jace was real, why couldn't they be? Of course it all meant nothing the moment she knew that her mother was in danger. She left Jace with any regret, ran to save the only one who she thought was a last piece of normality in her life. Maybe he was a mystical perfect guy, but her mom was her mom, and nothing could ever change that. If Clary could only know how wrong she was, if she could only know who much hate will she have towards her mother, but that wasn't in the picture for some time. At that moment she was just Clary and her mother was in danger, she must've done something. So she ran without any understanding, that it was the second time in two days she felt the urge to save someone, that it was her real nature speaking to her, the glimpse of the destiny she was meant to fulfill.

When Jace told her about the Runes, another piece of the puzzle came to place – all those weird hieroglyphs she was sketching were Runes, Clary knew that now. She also knew that she was meant to meet the golden boy, that's why he was invading her dreams and imagination. Her mind was just trying to prepare her, to bring her closer to the understanding of who she really was; and according to Jace she was special. And she let herself believe him; after all he saved her, like he saved her every night in her dreams.

He was a constant, her new constant in life when her mother mysteriously disappeared. He was with her, when she needed him, he protected her, he fought for her, Jace made her feel stronger and braver than she really was. Did he have any idea what he made to her, Clary wondered. Apparently not; he looked like an arrogant selfish boy, obsessed with himself. Jace was the kind of guy that Clary would've avoided in her previous life when she was just Clary and not the special girl, hidden from the world by her Shadowhunter mom. But somehow he made her feel safe around him, though he was incredibly annoying from time to time.

When they were at Madame Dorothea's Jace told her that he hated liars, she didn't pay much attention to that, but the way he was trying to help her find out what was going on with her, who she really was, made her understand the true meaning of that statement. Jace hated liars, and he was going to die but find out the truth; Clary knew that she deserved to know it, but Jace made her feel that she was worth the effort, worth his time and moreover his life.

For the next couple of weeks all her understanding of what's real and what's not, what's a tale and what's real life turned upside down. Scientist say that it takes three day for the human brain to adjust, Clary accepted the truth about Shadowhunters and Downworlders, Angels and Demons almost immediately, it wasn't that hard to believe taking into consideration that her whole life her brain was trying to prepare her for this moment. What she couldn't comprehend was the betrayal of her mother. How could she hide this kind of information from her? How could she hide her world from her? It was her real life, the life of a Shadowhunter, Clary wondered if her mother thought that she was too weak to be one. She was so angry at her, that sometimes before falling asleep she wondered if she really wanted to find her mom. Jace told her that he hated liars, but even he couldn't understand what it is like to live in a lie your whole life.

The last straw was what she found out about her father. She couldn't believe that her father was such an awful person and it was almost unbelievable that even if she was really the daughter of Valentine, that her mother would describe him to Clary as a wonderful man. She felt as if she was not only lied from the beginning, that her mother was hiding not her origin, but also her true nature. How could Jocelyn justify his actions? How could she still love him? He was a monster and Clary was half-monster, she couldn't change that in any possible way. Well, it explained everything – she was damaged after all, normal kids don't sketch awful monsters and strange boys that tend to turn out real all the time, in fact even Nephilim kids don't.

And even then, when she felt extremely desperate, lost and broken, Jace was there for her. Clary wasn't sure why he stuck around, but didn't want to ask, afraid that he will leave her. She was drawn to him, and the frightening feeling of the necessity of his proximity was overwhelming. When Jace was with her, she felt like a normal girl, she felt normal Shadowhunter girl with sharp senses and strength she'd never found in her before. And in the same time she felt fragile, like if Jace leaves her she will fall apart. Clary'd never told Jace how she really felt around him and he'd never asked her how she was doing. It was a stupid question and he knew it, he understood that her unsteady calmness was something that she should've hold on to and he helped her, he was there for her every single day trying to drag her attention away from the dreadful and destructive thoughts by training and history lessons, by long walks and studying Runes. There were days when she smiled till the minute she fell asleep, wondering if it's all just another dream when she met her mystery boy with golden hair and golden eyes.

A/N: This is the second chapter, which is about Clary and a little bit about Jace in a way that Clary sees him. I like this one very much, it's probable the best thing that I wrote for now. I changed the way thinds were a little bit, as I think it would be more suitable for my story and my vision of what'll happen. As you could see, Clary had a connection with Jace from the age of twelve and we all know that it's the age when all the Shadowhunters recieve their first Marks. You could also see that despite her mother's attempts to supress her Shadowhunter abilities Clary still had some side effects that showed in her pictures. We also see the mystical dark figure that she feels connected too. You may have guessed who it is, but I want to leave it for now, there will be the whole chapter dedicated to the dark boy.

Well, enough from me, now I would really love to hear from you! Thoughts? Ideas? Questions? Any reviews are welcome by me, your appreciation and criticism are the best ways to not only make me feel wonderful, but also to make the story and my writing better. I'm waiting for your reviews, no reviews means you don't like the story, so there's no point in continuing it, so if you want more...

xoxo Nans