A/N: Sorry for the re-post, I wanted to give you the edited version of chapter two. Many thanks to my new Beta siDEADde and my mom (tnuccio) for making these chapters better for all of us.
The italics are thoughts and the italics with quotes around them are what people are saying while Edward is reading their minds. Sorry if that confuses you.
Thank you all for the reviews I got! Most people wouldn't think it's a lot but it definitely means a lot to me! Please review some more and give me any constructive criticism you have, I have read many fan fics by great writers and it helps my self-esteem to know that people have taken time to read and reply to my story instead of other ones. All I want is to improve my writing enough to have a chance in the writing world so thanks again!
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters (The ever so loveable Cullen's, the sweet and innocent Bella and all other not as important creatures and humans), settings (school, forest, woods and Forks), etc. are the property of Stephenie Meyer (the writing God). The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise (but hey, a girl can dream). No copyright infringement is intended.
Recap: Bella is in the hospital after her car accident and she is changing! The last sentence was:
She was changing… everything was changing, what had I done?
Fathers
"Edward, is anyone coming? I need to speak with you in private." Carlisle said carefully. I quickly checked the minds around us looking for any indication of an unexpected visit.
The man in 440 needs… I let that voice slip away as I checked another.
"Front desk speaking…" A high squeaky voice that I quickly discarded answered a phone somewhere.
Where is she? Where is she? She said room 3254! Why can't I find a room 3254? Closer… 3250 3251… I couldn't take anymore of the distraught voice that I could only assume was Chief Swan.
Once again I thought: what have I done?
"Charlie is coming this way now; he's three rooms away." I replied, getting to my feet.
"I will meet you back at my office." I nodded, stepped out of the room, and began to walk down the hallway.
"Hello, Chief Swan, I'd like to speak to you for a moment about your daughter's condition." Carlisle was good at playing calm; he'd had centuries to perfect that doctor's façade.
"Carlisle?" Charlie replied, his thoughts revealing to me that he barely took notice of the doctor until he spoke, because his mind was so focused on Bella. "Is Bella in there? I need to see her. Please"
"Charlie, you can see your daughter for a few minutes. As hard as that may be the visit must be kept short, she is in critical condition." Charlie just grunted in response as he pushed by Carlisle in an attempt to get to Bella faster. His thoughts didn't say anything different, BELLA! BELLA! BELLA!
I entered Carlisle's office and pulled out one of the CDs he kept here for when he was working on difficult cases. Carlisle and I shared a common love of classical music; it calmed us when we were troubled. I put the CD in the small stereo system and started reading both Charlie's and Carlisle's minds. Slowly one of my favorite songs began to play, Claire de Lune. This song always made me feel serene and calm.
Bella? Oh God! Bella! Honey! My poor baby! Please oh God, please help her!
"Carlisle! How bad is it? Is it… is it…?" At that point a vision of her x-rays filled my mind and a gasp came after. The walls flew upward as he fell to his knees. Carlisle began to recount Bella's injuries. Oh lord, my poor baby. What did we do to deserve this? A broken back, a broken neck? This is horrible.
"Charlie, Bella has broken her back, her neck, and seven ribs. One of the ribs punctured her lung. She also has broken her left leg in two spots and has fractured her right arm in three spots. The best outcome is that she will live the rest of her life paralyzed from the neck down and the worst is fatality. I am so very sorry Charlie, we are doing everything that we can but her chances are slim."
I switched to Carlisle's mind.
This is horrible; this poor girl could have recovered or at least continued to live, the pain she must be in… The pain her family is going to be in. All because of…
I quickly jumped back to Charlie's mind, not able to take the thoughts that I knew were coming.
She can recover. It's going to be okay. There is still hope… His thoughts changed as the beeping of Bella's heart monitor quickened.
"What's… what's going on?" Charlie asked.
"Charlie, you need to leave." Carlisle said as he ushered Charlie towards the door. After I was sure that Charlie had gone to a waiting room, I went to her room.
"Edward! I told you to wait in my office!" Carlisle whispered urgently.
"I know but I was wondering why her heart rate has already increased so drastically. It is supposed to take longer right?"
"Yes Edward, normally it does. Now can we please go to my office? We need to speak." He filled out her charts and headed out the door.
Back in Carlisle's office, I took a seat against the wall while he sat behind his desk.
"Edward… How are we going to stage her death? She can't have an open casket because she won't be there to lie inside of it. We couldn't risk her waking up to a room full of humans. That would be pushing our luck too far." He was nervous, even a human could tell that. "Maybe if we… oh I don't know. Edward I have never had to do this before, everyone else in our family was considered dead before I turned them. I'm not sure how we are going to do this."
"Well… Maybe if they have a closed casket Rosalie or Alice could just lay in it to give it weight and then we could dig them out later. They're controlled enough and Bella couldn't weigh much more or less than them…?" I was just rambling. I had never seen Carlisle this upset about anything and it scared me.
"No Edward, you know that we would weigh much more than her. But that gives me an idea. Maybe if they have a closed coffin we could let them put her in it before she wakes up and then we can switch out her body for another corpse. There are some here that are being autopsied and some that are going to be sent to the University in Seattle for medical cadavers. Although I don't like the idea of doing that to someone's body, it's very unethical and definitely disrespectful. I guess in this case I have to overlook that and go with the greater good, as difficult as that is."
"I understand that Carlisle, but think about the greater good. Do you want to risk turning a newborn vampire loose in a room of tasty, blood-filled humans? This one body would already be vacant of a soul. If we didn't do this, we would be risking more people getting hurt from Bella. If she were to be set loose in that environment, there would surely be no survivors."
"You're right. I am sorry if I have unsettled you. I should have kept better control of my emotions. Thank you Edward." I gave him a small smile; it was the best I could manage after today's events. I began walking out of the room when something in Carlisle's thoughts troubled me. Her heart rate has gone down to normal again. The venom is spreading fast. How do I tell Charlie about this? Pain medication made her heart rate go down? No. Calm down Carlisle, just calm down. You and your family will be okay; you will get through this as a family. You have to calm down for Edward. He has had the worst of it.
I continued walking through the door as if I had heard nothing. I needed to be alone right now, but at the same time I needed to be around someone. I didn't want an audience but I just couldn't take the emptiness…
As I was pondering were I should go, my feet sub-consciously brought me back to Bella's room. Before I opened the door, I checked for another mind or heartbeat in her room. It was empty and Charlie was snoring in the waiting room. I carefully slid the door back and stepped into her room. What I saw was so astonishing I took a step back from the girl on the bed. Her right arm was already straightening out, and her chest seemed more inflated than it had when her ribs were broken. Her breathing was also less labored. I took a step towards the bed again only to feel a strange electrical current pulling me forward. This strange current didn't ebb until I was sitting on the very edge of her bed, then all of a sudden it stopped.
"Mmmmmmm." She groaned quietly, her face turning down in a scowl.
"Shhh, it's alright. It's going to be over soon." A strange burning feeling had appeared in my hand, it wasn't uncomfortable, just new. I looked down and found my hand on hers.
She sighed in response to the cold hand on her skin. What was I doing here? Why does this girl whom I know nothing about make me feel so comfortable around her? Why is it when I decided I needed time to myself I sought her comfort? Why do I feel okay touching her without a conscious decision being made? Is this all really because I can't read her mind? Maybe I want to get closer to her so I could start to? Maybe it's just a temporary block? I was so deep in thought that I almost didn't catch the words coming out of her mouth.
"More ice. The fire!" Her face turned pained when she said that. "More ice!" She was breathing the words, her mind might have been blocked but it was clear on her face that she was in a lot of pain and talking was a problem for her.
What should I do? She wants more ice! I can't touch her face!
I pinched the bridge of my nose out of nervous habit and tried to think of what I could do to help her.
Carlisle will know what to do! I quickly reconsidered, No! He has too much on his plate already.
I gently reached up and placed my free hand lightly on her forehead; once again a sigh escaped her lips. I had never noticed just how full and red they were.
My mind was racing with both the new revelations of this connection I was feeling to Bella and also with my errant thoughts about why Carlisle would think that he needed to pretend to be okay around me that I didn't notice he had entered the room. As I looked to face him, it became apparent that he was worried that the venom was spreading through her system so fast, too fast. It wasn't normal that someone could sneak up on me. I'm not normally caught off guard, but that seemed to be happening a lot since I've been around Bella.
"Excuse me, is everything alright in here?" He looked at me skeptically.
I jumped and my hands flew from her forehead and hand. "I was just coming to see how she was doing." Then as if to prove I was only doing her good by being here she whimpered, "Ice, Edward, where's the ice?" Edward? Did she just say Edward? How does she know that I'm here? Carlisle thoughts were on the same track as mine, how did she know that Edward was here? Most people aren't aware until the last hours of the change and her heart isn't slow enough to for the change to be near completion at all today.
"Shhh, its okay, I have the ice right here Bella." I whispered placing my hands on her forehead and cheek again. I gave Carlisle a confused glance; I didn't know what was going on or how this was helping her anymore than he did.
"Edward, she's beginning to look to healthy for her condition. We won't be able to pass her off as dead if she looks perfectly healed. We have to do something. I'm thinking we should cast her. We could put a cast on her leg and arm; maybe we should also add a neck brace and put her in traction for the break of her spine, which would make it harder for her to look so perfect." He was right; she was beginning to look too perfect to be on her deathbed. As I thought this her lips started to slightly curl up at the corners, betraying that she was a little more comfortable, her face was slightly flushed and it was beginning to show a slight glow.
Once again I was amazed that I had never noticed that her skin was almost as light as mine, the only difference really was that she always tended to have a pink flush when she was around me.
"I think that would be appropriate, Carlisle. It would help to keep her still and yet give the illusion that her injuries were still here and as bad as they started out."
"I agree, Edward. I'm going to apply the casts myself. That way, I can allow room for her recovery and also make it so they don't hamper the healing process or her new strength This will also help Charlie to begin accepting the inevitability of her death. It will give him and everyone else more of a reason to want to remember her the way she was prior to the accident."
With that, Carlisle started pulling together all the materials he would need. He left Bella and I alone so he could bring everything back here to start the preparations.
Once he was out of the room that strange electrical current was upon me again. Could she feel it to? Did she understand what it was? What does this mean? Slowly I moved my hand from her forehead and grabbed her hand. This time it was intentional, the current wasn't controlling this movement and neither was my sub-conscious. I was controlling this movement. It just felt right.
"Bella, can you hear me?" I didn't expect her to but I continued to talk to her anyways. "I wish there was some way I could take this back, I feel atrocious. I am so sorry, so very, very sorry. I had caused you so much confusion before this and now I have caused you a pain so impossibly strong that…" Her hand tightened around mine with a strength she shouldn't have had, causing me to stop talking.
"The fire hurts, it hurts Edward. Help me please, more ice." she whimpered. Where could I get more ice?I only have two hands. I let go of her hand and placed my hand on her cheek again, she smiled weakly. "Edward…" she moaned.
"What do you need Bella?" I was so confused about what she wanted me to do. Did she want more ice? Did she just want me here? Did she want me gone? Does she want me to keep talking to her?
Carlisle entered the room again with the supplies needed to cast Bella. His face had the same questioning look I'm sure mine held…he didn't understand what was happening with Bella anymore than I did.
It took quite a while to get Bella fully casted. We had to redo the plaster on her arm twice. We were just about to put her in traction when Charlie woke up. I could tell by his thoughts that he was still in the waiting room. I let Carlisle know that Charlie was awake and would soon be coming in the room. With that being said he alerted the nurse's desk to have Charlie wait until he was through casting Bella to be allowed into the room.
About an hour later she was in traction, her neck was safely braced; both her leg and her arm were in casts. On impulse, we decided to add a chest wrap as well. The chest rap made it look like the inflation of her chest was only because of the bandages.
"Carlisle, Charlie is getting restless. He wants to see Bella again." He nodded and started walking out of the room. I read his thoughts to get the silent message he was sending me.
Go back to my office; I will meet you there. I have to tell Charlie that Bella isn't going to make it. This is going to take a while. I need to know if you can hear me from my office. Since my office is only two halls away I should be able to hear you if you respond aloud to my questions. I'll focus my hearing in your direction. I need you to tell me what he's thinking so I can use that to lead him in the right direction.
I let Carlisle know that I would have no problems hearing both his and Charlie's thoughts from his office. Then I quickly turned to Bella before I had to leave her room. "Bella, can you hear me?" I wished she could hear me, so she would know that I was leaving. "I have to go, Charlie is coming back and I can't be here. I will be back later and I will bring the ice too." When I was done talking, her lips turned down in a scowl and she began to whimper. Strangely, I knew she could hear me. "I'll come back. I promise it's the least I can do." I got up off the bed and began walking out the door.
I could hear Charlie and Carlisle coming down the hall about a hundred feet away. I started walking quicker. When I got to Carlisle's office I quickly said at a normal volume, "Can you hear me?" Looking for Carlisle's mind was easy because he was focused on me. I heard his reply; Edward, yes I can hear you. Just tell me what you think I need to know. I need to be able to concentrate both ways. I settled in, and set my mind on Charlie while my ears were trained on everything that was happening in Bella's hospital room.
"Chief Swan," I heard Carlisle say politely.
"Charlie." He corrected.
"Charlie, Bella has gotten worse. We have put her in casts to help with her broken arm and leg, we've wrapped her chest to help her ribs, and we've put a more substantial brace on her neck. For her spine injury we've put her in axial traction. This type of traction is used to realign the spine by using a rigid brace and is usually done as soon as possible to stabilize the spine and prevent additional damage." ( see a/n below)
As Carlisle was speaking he could see the hope in Charlie's face that was developing. I spoke to Carlisle to let him know that Charlie was building hope that Bella was going to survive this. Yes, Edward, I figured as much. I'm going to let him down as easily as I can but he needs to understand her condition is fatal. So he continued.
"Charlie, I wish this were the extent of her injuries. She is young and could still live but she would be paralyzed. Unfortunately we've come across more damaging internal injuries that we can not fix." The hope that was in Charlie's face slowly dimmed. "We have discovered Bella has some significant internal bleeding in her brain. It is in a region that we cannot operate on without ending her life. At this point there is nothing we can do." Carlisle's voice turned defeated, as he admitted what no good doctor wants to admit: failure. "I'm sorry Charlie but there is nothing to do now but wait and say your goodbyes."
"But… but that doesn't mean that she can't heal on her own, right? She's… she's a fighter she can pull through this. I know she can. You think she can too! I see it in your eyes, you know it's possible, it has to be possible. Miracles happened everyday, right?" Tears were flowing freely down his cheeks as he grabbed Bella's free hand.
"I'm sorry Charlie, so very sorry. She only has a day, maybe two if we are lucky. The bleeding is causing her brain to shut down and her other systems along with it. Her heart rate is sporadic and will eventually slowly stop beating."
"Carlisle, he isn't listening to you. His mind is focused on Bella. He heard everything but he is trying to block it out. Let him talk to her." I was talking to Carlisle now.
Of course, I'll give him space. He replied in his head as he moved to the back corner of the room and pretended to write in her charts. "Charlie, I have to take care of some of the administrative issues, please let me know if you have any further questions. I'll be over on the other side of the room."
"Bella, honey, can you hear me?" Charlie was trying to be brave for Bella but his voice cracked at the end, showing the agony he was suffering. "Bella, I know you must be in pain but you can pull through this. I need you; your mother needs you. You can't leave me to cook for myself." He laughed half-heartedly. "And Renee, she still needs her baby girl to baby-sit her. You can't leave her alone, and think of Phil, he hasn't really even gotten to know you yet, you know that he is going to want to learn more about you, and gain your trust as a step-father. Please, Bella, please. I can't imagine the world without you." His voice started to crack.
Charlie was slowly losing his will to stay strong for Bella, the pain he was experiencing flowed through his words as he continued, "Come on, kid…for me…remember when you were five and you came to visit me for the summer? We used to talk about all kinds of stuff, and you made me promise that I was going to live forever so I could be your daddy forever. I remember that, I know you do too. And then when you were ten and Grandma Swan died, you learned that everyone had to die at some time. Do you remember how you made me promise that I would let you say goodbye to me? Do you remember how you said I wasn't allowed to give up and I had to keep fighting for as long as I could? You promised me that you would say goodbye to me and that you would see me in heaven. You can't break your promise Bella, you need to be there to say goodbye to me. You can't go to heaven first, that would mean that you would be breaking your promise." He was sobbing by the time he was done and my cold heart ached for the man I didn't know.
"There is nothing in his thoughts that you haven't already heard, he is just going through his memories of her prior to the accident." I told Carlisle.
Thank you Edward. He thought
"Charlie do you need to call anyone, perhaps Bella's mother? Is there anyone else that can be with you here for this?" Carlisle asked in his softest voice.
"I… I should call Renee." Charlie mechanically replied.
"Of course. Do you want to use the hospital phone? It's okay if it's long distance, I'll clear it through the switchboard."
"Yes, please. I'll be right back, Bells." Carlisle's thoughts provided a vision of Charlie getting to his feet and lightly kissing Bella on the forehead before beginning to walk out of the room.
"Charlie, if you'd like you can use my office, you'll have the privacy you need to make as many calls as you'd like." Charlie simply nodded and followed Carlisle out of Bella's room.
As I left Carlisle's office I asked him "Can I go to her now Carlisle? She wanted the ice when I left."
Yes, you can go now. He replied. I got to my feet and began walking to her room. I was anxious to see her again.
Once again the girl I saw on the table astounded me. I was sure that Charlie didn't notice the changes because they were so minimal. Why was I so in-tune with her changes? Her face was less pink as she was slowly trading her warm blush for cold, hard skin that would sparkle in the sun. I could tell her body temperature was dropping as well as I reached out to take her now cooler hand.
"Edward, more ice please." Her voice was less strained than before.
"Here." I said placing my other hand on her forehead. I heard the conversation going on in Carlisle's office.
"Hello." Charlie said into a phone, "Oh, hi, Phil. Sorry it's so late. I need to talk to Renee please. Yes I'll wait. Hi, Renee, yes, I'm sorry, something is wrong, can you, uh; can you please come up here to Forks? Something has happened. No actually, she's not okay." Charlie paused, I heard his thoughts, my God, how am I going to tell Renee this? I could hear heavy foot steps coming from Carlisle's office, I assumed at this point he was pacing.
"She was hit by a van this morning in the school parking lot and well, the doctor said she isn't going to make it." Charlie's voice choked as he ended his sentence.
"I know I should have called you before but I didn't get a chance. I'm sorry, when can you get here? Okay, I'll tell the doctor that you'll be here hopefully by the morning. Okay, yeah Renee, I know…I'm scared, please hurry. Bye."
Instead of hanging up Charlie started dialing another number. Less than 30 seconds later he was talking to another person. "Hi, Billy? Yeah sorry if I woke you it's Charlie. How's Jacob? Is he still feeling a little off? Well, I'm glad he's feeling more himself. Um yeah, I'm really sorry it's so late but I need your help. I kind of need a friend. Do you think there's anyway Jacob can drive you down to the hospital here in Forks? No no no, I'm fine. It's Bella, she was hit by a van this morning in the school parking lot and well…well, the doctors say that she isn't going to make it, I just… Renee won't be here until tomorrow some time and I just need someone to talk to. Yeah, thank you. Oh is it really that late? Midnight already? Okay well I'll try but I don't think that I'll be able to sleep, I feel like I'm already in a nightmare. Okay, see you soon. Thanks again."
As Charlie hung up the phone he addressed Carlisle, "Carlisle? Is there a place I can go to try to get some sleep?"
"There is probably an empty room somewhere. Or if it would make you feel better I can bring a more comfortable chair into Bella's room."
"Yes, thank you, if it's possible I'd like to stay with Bella." He replied.
I heard the door to his office shut as I presumed Carlisle left.
"Edward? Edward are you there?" Bella asked. I had moved my hands to my head as I tried to concentrate on the conversation going on in Carlisle's room.
"Yes, Bella, I'm here." I placed my hands on her cheeks this time.
"Edward? Charlie wants to sleep in here, I'm sorry but you need to leave. Tell Bella goodbye." I nodded in acknowledgement.
"Goodbye, Bella, I'll come back later." She moaned in response.
I walked to an empty room next to Bella's to wait until Charlie was out of Carlisle's office. As Charlie settled in for the night a nurse alerted Carlisle that Mr. Swan had some visitors.
"Hello Mr. Black." Carlisle said in a tone that would seem warm and friendly but both Billy Black and I knew was anything but.
"Jacob lets go see Charlie he needs us." Billy said to his son who I could smell all the way down here. Werewolf. He hasn't gone through the full change yet but it was coming. My mind shuddered.
They walked to Bella's room and Jacob gasped, which alerted Charlie to another presence in the room. Carlisle followed quickly behind to check on Bella knowing that Billy Black was one of Charlie's good friends. This was another complication we would need to deal with. I decided it would be best for me to go to Carlisle's office so Billy didn't suspect another vampire in the hospital.
"Hello, Charlie. I'm so sorry." Billy said mournfully.
"Uh Dad, I… I have to step out for a minute." I could hear Jacobs's thoughts as he hurriedly left the room. She looks so pale and all those machines…I can't imagine what Charlie is going through. This is too much; it's too much like Mom…I can't watch another person die like that.
Then as quickly as I heard Jacob I switched to focus on Billy's thoughts. Something isn't right here…why is the leech hovering around Bella, he should have no significant interest in her. She's just a patient to him. There is something wrong with the way she looks…there's just something that's not right here. He turned around in his wheelchair to face Charlie, "Charlie you should get some sleep. You look beat."
"I am. It's just so hard for me to accept this. Billy, she can't be dying, I just got her back. She hasn't even been here a month, I've had her for barely two weeks. This can't be how it ends Billy, it just can't."
"I understand, Charlie but you beating yourself up isn't going to help her any. Get some sleep and I'll be here." Billy Black was a true friend to Charlie. He was suspicious, but his loyalty to his friend was in the forefront of his mind.
"Thanks Billy." Charlie yawned as he settled in to try and get some sleep.
Jacob came into the room after Charlie started to snore. He sat in the farthest corner he could and tried to sleep like both Billy and Charlie. Within 20 minutes there were three snoring men in her room. I got up to find Carlisle as a knock sounded on his door.
"Carlisle? Edward? Are you in there?" A familiar voice asked.
"I'm here Esme."
a/n: nope I'm not a doctor but if you go to it explains axial traction for spinal injuries in lay-man's terms.
BREAKING DAWN SPOILER ALERT:
Also, I'm changing my assumptions a little in regards to Bella's change. I'm not sure it was really talked about in depth in the books but I'm assuming after Bella's heart stops it takes a little while for her to wake up. I'm sticking with it taking two days for her to change and I'm also using the fact that she was much calmer when she was changed in Breaking Dawn than most of the other newborns in the books.