Disclaimer: I do not own anything.
Author's note: Thanks for the reviews! :) Hopefully this chapter will be somewhat more interesting.
Summary: What if Merlin had reached out and helped Morgana when she needed it most?
Pairings: Armor at heart. With some Morgana/Merlin and Arthur/Gwen and Merlin/Gwen (maybe, who knows?) And I know the Dragon's name is formally the great Dragon or something but it sounds weird so i'm just having him as the Dragon. Sorry if there are comma errors. Those are my weakness. More reviews pleaseeee? Helpful tips and suggestions are welcome. Please don't be mean though.
"You did the right thing."
Merlin pulled himself abruptly from his thoughts and glanced at his mentor, friend, and father figure. Gaius was studying him with a frown pulling his eyebrows down, making the usual twinkle in his eyes disappear.
Merlin felt a ripple of feeling that he couldn't quite identify course through him as his brain processed Gaius's words.
"You don't mean that." He said softly, avoiding Gaius's concerned eyes. "Morgana was your friend too. You cared about her."
"I did." Merlin tried not to wince at the past tense. "But I fear that unlike you Morgana chose not to use her gift for good."
Gaius's words continued on but Merlin drowned them out as anger pulsed through him.
She never had Gaius to guide her, to teach her that magic could be a force of good. That it wasn't something evil that corrupted your soul no matter what.
But Merlin felt too tired, to lifeless to even bother arguing with Gaius.
He blinked and glanced back at Gaius, who was still talking. " -if you had not made that decision?"
. The words echoed in Merlin's ears. Decision. . . .Decision.
Something inside him clicked and he made another decision.
Merlin jumped out of his seat and met Gaius's confused gaze. "I'll finish that later" He offered over his shoulder and raced out the door.
It was dark and cool in the tunnel that Merlin had visited countless times. He walked purposefully, but with less bounce then usual, as though something had hold of him, dragging him down. A gust of wind made him sway as it knocked into him.
"Merlin." A voice boomed at him, a voice that dripped with wisdom and bitterness and mystery; a voice that seemed solid and smoky all wrapped into one. A voice that Merlin had heard far too often.
Merlin caught the Dragon's gaze, trying to look important. "I need to know if it's possible-"
The Dragon shook his head with impatience and broke in " If it is possible to change the past."
Merlin caught his breathe, mildly annoyed and surprised. "Arhem. Yes I do. Is it?"
" It is no more possible to change the past then it is to change the future," the Dragon answered.
"That's rubbish!" Merlin yelled angrily. "You have to be able to change the future. It isn't written in stone. If you can't change the future then there's no point in even trying is there? I guess I won't bother trying to save Arthur if he's just going to kick the bucket anyways, right?"
He felt as though all the anger that had been building up in him for almost two years had finally boiled over.
"I'm so sick of destiny! 'It's your destiny Merlin' -'You have to Merlin, it's your destiny' – 'Do this Merlin, do that Merlin'- 'Power, destiny, wizard, future' It doesn't mean anything. None of it does. It's all completely buggered, and I just can't do it anymore." Merlin panted for breathe, tiring of his rant. He felt somewhat better, as though he had released something.
"You cannot run from destiny, Merlin. It finds you no matter what. What's done is done. You cannot toy with the past when the fancy strikes you."
"There has to be a way. You just don't want to tell me." Merlin protested.
The Dragon's eyes narrowed. " Do not impose to speak to me in such a tone, young wizard."
Merlin held his gaze, perhaps slightly more respectfully.
"Leave this path alone, Merlin. It is not for you to wander."
Merlin grimaced in frustration.
"Now you made a promise, boy. Do you intend on keeping it?" The Dragon prodded.
Merlin straightened his back firmly and said in the strongest voice he could muster. "No."
A roar that would have sent Arthur's best knights scattering rippled through the cave.
"You have the gall to tell me no? After everything I've done for you? You do not want to cross me, Merlin."
Merlin held firm, hoping he would get out of the cave, not burnt to a crisp. " I will free you, Dragon, after you tell me if what I'm asking is possible and how."
"You will not make demands of me. I will make you suffer more than you can possibly imagine."
He was past caring. "Tell me or the only thing you will ever see again is this cave."
The Dragon gave a frustrated roar glaring at the annoying pest that dared speak to him so.
"What you ask is possible. But the consequences are unimaginable. You have no idea what could happen. And the spell can only be used once in the caster's lifetime. If you were to cast this spell, you could never use it again."
The Dragon paused to survey him. "The power of this spell is unthinkable. It could be incredibly draining. There's a chance you wouldn't survive it."
Merlin nodded, swallowing the information. "And what exactly does it do?"
"It takes you back to the moment you imagine. Once you change a single instant in it, what is the present now is gone. And you can never get it back." Merlin nodded quickly as the Dragon paused.
"Once the present is gone, so is the present you. You will be the person you were at whatever instant you choose. You will remember nothing. And the future will be changed on whatever choice you made."
Merlin swallowed hard. "And the spell? Where can I find it?"
Merlin glanced at the book he held in his hands, cocking his head questioningly as it shook fiercely. He made a noise between a laugh and groan when he realized his hands were shaking.
Now was the real decision. He had never felt so unsure of himself. What if he just made things worse?
He thought again of the girl, the way her eyes lit up when she smiled. How she always seemed so sure of herself, so cocky and full of warmth and compassion. How long had it been since he had seen that girl? Almost a year? The girl he knew had been replaced by someone full of fear and uncertainty. Someone who thought of herself before others, because no one else would.
I'm scared, Merlin.
So was he. He was terrified really. He steadied his hands, and slowly opened the pages to the spell he needed. To the spell that would change everything. And slowly, in a voice that gained confidence on every word he uttered, Merlin read the incantation aloud.