Why Seducing Aliens is a Bad Idea
Kirk's voice was flat. "You procreate through holding hands."
"Yes, Captain." Spock studiously avoided the other man's eyes. His dark gaze was quite firmly fixed on Kirk's Starfleet pin, instead.
"And you did not tell me this because…?"
"I assumed you knew, Captain," Spock said.
Kirk's fingers twitched, but he didn't quite let them form a fist. "Were you aware, Mister Spock, that holding hands is a normal part of human courtship. Indeed, it is a very early portion, so ridiculously harmless and innocent that even children are allowed to do so?"
"No, Captain." His eyes had dropped to Kirk's boots.
"Mister Spock, I am carrying your child. I would suggest you call me Jim."
A/N: The longer I write fanfiction, the lower I'm willing to stoop for a good joke. So, sure. MPreg it is.