Hoo boy, second chapter of SDB. Here goes…
Chapter 2: Peach and Fido
As we last left them, our heroes were stepping inside a portal to nowhere. Imagine Mario, Dr. Mario, and gangster Luigi screaming, along with Crazy Hand laughing maniacally as the fall down a pit of nothingness. Go ahead. Imagine.
30 minutes pass…
By now, they realize they aren't going anywhere for a while.
Mario breaks the silence: "How-a long have-a we been falling?"
The doc replied, "About-a two hours."
"How-a did you know? You don't have a watch."
"Who-a cares? As long as I know!"
18 hours later…
Everyone is sleeping. Mario soon wakes up to hear Princess Peach's voice. He realizes that they have finally landed and are inside a jail cell. (?)
Mario goes "WTF?" Since when did Peach's castle become a prison?
Luigi wakes up. "What's goin' on, bro'?" Luigi then notices he's in prison. "YO WTF IS UP? LEMME OUTTA HERE! I AIN'T DOIN NO DRUGS!"
"You-a aren't?" Dr. Mario is finally awake. "Good. Drugs are-a bad."
"Duh!" Peach said. (Where'd she come from?) "You be quiet! Shut up or I'll give you to my little pet!"
"What-a pet?"
"I'll show you…oh Fido! Come here, Fido!"
As Mario watched, he felt the ground shake. Something was coming through the door…whatever it was, it was huge! It had big teeth, sharp claws, and horns! It breathed fire! It looked like a freaking turtle with spikes! It was…
"BOWSER?"
Insert awkward silence here.
Bowser looked rather silly. He had a party hat on, with a dog bone in his mouth and had a leash on him. He looked at Mario and said, "Umm, I'd rather not be here…"
Mario, Dr. Mario, and Luigi (Who knows where the heck Crazy Hand went) finally realized that it really was Bowser. They stared. And stared. And stared.
Yet another 18 hours later…
"Heh…heh…mmmmmHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Sh-shut up!" Bowser retorted.
Peach had a golf club in hand. "Fido! Kill them!"
"Uh…"
"What's wrong? You've always wanted to kill Mario!" Beat up, yes. But kill?
"Umm-a Peach? You-a seem a little-a bloodthirsty. Care for a megavitamin?"
Peach whacked Dr. Mario out cold with her golf club. Ouch. Mario then remembered what Master Hand said, "…Bowser is being held captive by Peach…" This seemed to be it.
All of a sudden, Crazy Hand crashed through the wall of the castle, (or prison) waved hi, and then another thousand Mr. Game-and-Watches came through the broken wall. They killed Peach and almost killed Doc. Bowser ate the Mr. Game-and-Watches. He had a stomachache. He threw up on Luigi. Luigi went to sleep. He woke up. He almost killed Bowser. Mario tried to stop Luigi. Mario almost killed Luigi. Doc wakes up. Doc eats mushroom. Doc almost STEPS ON everybody. You get the picture. Peach goes what the heck before she dies. 2-dimensionaled to death. Bad way to go.
After that, Mario says to Bowser,"You can-a take that-a stuff off now. Peach is-a dead! (And the narrator is lazy!)"
"Wtf, bro…you killed her!" Luigi says.
"I-a have a feeling that-a wasn't the real Peach…" Doc speculates.
"LBPBLBBPPBLBHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAH!" Crazy Hand says. (Yup, it's the same thing he said in chapter 1)
"Who's this guy?" asked Bowser. (The party hat didn't fit him at all. He was glad to get rid of it, since the Brothers M kept laughing at him.)
"This is-a Crazy Hand! NO, DON'T-A WAVE HI, PLEASE!"
"LBPBLBBPPBLBHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAH!"
Bowser, refraining from shaking hands with Crazy Hand, turns to everyone else. "So what the heck is going on? Why are you here, Mario?"
(Insert lengthy time-wasting explanation)
"I see…so you want me to go along, huh?"
"Yup-a!" answered Doc.
"Since when are you da boss?" Luigi asked, rather angrily. "I thought I WAS THE MAN! YOU SUCK, DOC!"
"Whatever. Look-a Bowser, you've helped us-a more than-a once! Remember Super Mario RPG? Oh, and Mario & Luigi Superstar Saga? Come-a on!"
"FINE! I'll go with your—"
"COOL! Da koopa's in da house!"
"—posse. Uh-whatever…"
Mario is now satisfied with the way things are turning out. But somehow, he feels as though they were missing something…
All of a sudden, the entire castle seemed to turn upside down. Thankfully, the ceiling was there to stop everybody from falling into the sky. They were worried though, when Bowser came crashing down… Mario remembered another thing Master Hand had said, "…gravity will reverse itself at random times." The world really was screwed.
Bowser noticed a big portal in the center of what used to be the ceiling. "Guys? Isn't that where you came from?"
"Yeah-a! Come on, lets-a go!"
Doc and Luigi entered the portal. Mario said to Bowser, "You coming, Fido?"
Bowser slowly turned to look at Mario. Oh, you could tell he was gonna get him back for that…
End Chapter Two!
Our heroes have completed the first task in their journey! With Bowser in their "posse", things ought to be a little easier! NOT! Find out what happens in Chapter Three!