Tears
By: William Whisk
Disclaimer: I don't own Total Drama Island
Beta reader for most of my fanfictions: Nate River1
Summary: Gwen's POV before and after she falls from the beam.
"I'm going to die now, I'm going to freaken die," I said as my heart began to race. The beam I had to cross frighten me, not because of the drop but because of the sharks. There was no safety zone this time.
Trent told me before he left to the other side that it didn't look that bad. Yeah Trent, it doesn't look that bad, but you're not the one doing it! I grabbed the stupid eagle egg and walked to the beam.
I could see the sharks swimming in a circle. They were waiting for me or Owen to fall into the water. I won't let that happen.
I took a deep breath as I tried to relax my rapidly beating heart…it didn't work. I sighed and carefully started to take my first step. My palms were now sweaty and I felt nervous. I knew I had to concentrate if I was to make it out of this challenge alive, but this was just crazy! How could Chris expect us to make it across! I now saw Trent's worried eyes. I felt happy, Trent was worried about me, he cared for me, but he looked so nervous that I started feeling it too.
Why did you have to look so nervous Trent…don't you have confidence in me or do you finally realize that this thing is a death trap.
I took my second step. I was now feeling more confident. My heart didn't race as much and Trent's nervous gaze didn't affect me anymore. It just made me feel better as I could see his concern. My heart warmed up now as I felt the blush rise to my face. I was ready now to keep going, to finish and get off this beam of death.
"You can do it Gwen. You're the most awesome girl I ever met. In fact, I was thinking, I think…I lov…," Trent was telling me as I took my third step, but I stepped on air and instead of finishing what he had to say he shouted,
"Nooo!" I fell off. I quickly grabbed the wooden beam with one hand and prevented my certain death.
"Help," I shouted. Fear could be clearly heard in my voice. I dropped the egg and grabbed the beam with my other hand.
My heart was beating harder then it has ever done before. I could feel the sweat on my fingers making me slip but I kept regaining control.
I now tried to pull myself up but I found I couldn't, I didn't have enough energy. I wasted most of my strength on climbing the pole and now my arms just couldn't take anymore.
I began to cry, I don't want to die! I don't want to freaken die now! I still have my family…my brother…Trent save me! But Trent just stood there afraid and shocked. My tears were now making everything blurry.
"Trent…help…me...," I begged and he regained some of his composer as he went on his knees and began to stretch his hand towards me. I sniffed as I let go one hand and tried to reach for his, but we were just to far from each other. After a few more moments I realized Trent wasn't going to move any closer. He was too frightened and could only think of stretching his hand to help me.
My heart, lungs, and mind began to cry as I knew no one will save me now and that I had to save myself. I grabbed the beam again with both hands and tried to keep pulling myself, but each time I failed and more energy left me. I could feel myself slipping now…and I realized…I'm going to die…the sharks will tare through my flesh and have Gwen for dinner… (I DON'T WANT TO DIE!) My mind cried out but that didn't help me get back on the beam. I felt weak and frail now. Soon I would fall…I wouldn't see my mother…my young brother…and most of all…I wouldn't see Trent…why wouldn't he crawl on the beam and try to save me.
Last chance, I pulled myself up with what remaining strength I had left. Yes I was almost there, but then I slipped. My fingers were wet from sweat and made me lose my grip.
"No," Trent shouted and I could see him now looking over reaching his hand out as if to grab mine, but he couldn't…he couldn't reach me…he was just too far for me.
I closed my eyes as I began to fall…I had flashbacks of when I was young…my mother who always took care of me…good bye mom I love you….my kid brother…I began crying harder as I thought about him…I will miss him so much…all the fun we had together, he was the best brother in the world…now Trent…all the little fun times we spent chatting with each other in the camp…the little crush I have on him and how I would wish for him to carry me in his hunky arms, those arms that failed to save me.
Now I saw Cody…what Cody? Why was I seeing him…I could now see when he told me he would set me up with Trent in that canoe race…he was a sweet guy…I smiled as he did the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me. Yeah, he had a ridiculous request in return, but he gave it back quickly when he proved to Owen he could get a bra. I was sort of happy to know he wasn't a sick pervert, but I still don't know why I would have flashbacks of him.
Splash. My mind went blank.
I could now hear voices and one sounded like Chris…wait if I can hear Chris…oh no, I ended up in hell.
"Gwen wake up…please wake up…," I could hear Trent now? Oh did hell want to toy with me…wait…what if I'm not in hell…what if I some how survived? I slowly opened up my eyes…I could make out some blurry figures…but eventually everything came together. Trent was kneeling next to me, his eyes filled with tears.
"H…how did I survive," I asked and Trent wiped his tears and gave me a smile, he was relieved that I was ok.
"You were saved…," He said but there was something awkward in the way he said it, like something was wrong.
I just ignored it, I was just so happy I was saved and I bet it was by Trent! I jumped up and kissed him but he gave me a slight push and broke the kiss. He was not looking me in the eyes as he turned his head down and slightly to his right.
"What, why," I asked him. I wanted to kiss my savoir…I now knew Trent was the one. Anyone who would have saved me from those sharks had to be the one. The man I love was the man who saved my life, just like in the fairy tales.
"I didn…I didn't save you," Trent told me as he looked ashamed. I could see the hurt in his eyes.
"What," I asked giving him a queer look. I don't get it, what does he mean he didn't save me…wasn't he my hero? But I could tell he wasn't lying… I could see he looked hurt…I never seen him like this. He was crying so hard now that my heart began to cringe with pain.
"What happened," I asked, but when I turned my head to see if anyone would respond, everyone was either crying or couldn't bare telling me the story…then I noticed…something was missing…I looked at everyone…but I couldn't tell what was missing.
Then I saw Chris…he faced towards the water and Chef pated him on the back. Chris! I never felt so angry at anyone before. Now I was going to give him a piece of my mind and make sure he tells me why everyone is crying.
I walked up to him and Chef saw me coming. The cook debated on what to do as he looked at me and back at Chris. He finally decided to step aside and he walked towards the other campers.
"Chris," I shouted at him as I grabbed his arm and turned him around, I was about to punch him but I stopped…he was crying…he looked almost broken down…his hair was slightly messed up and my mouth cringed as I tried to hold myself from hitting him.
"Tell me what happened," I yelled at him…for some reason I could feel my eyes grow watery from all the sadness that surrounded me. Chris now did the same thing as Trent when I asked him.
"No, you tell me now," I shouted as I grabbed his shirt and forced him to look at me. His eyes…they were bloodshot red and his tears flowed freely, this man didn't care to hide it from me…what in the hell happened?
"Gwen…I'm glad you're ok…," he began but I slapped him as hard I could.
"Get to what I want to know now," I shouted at him my face burning red with anger. Chris took a breath and his tears slowly began to stop.
"You know… I always set things up for you guys…so no one would die…even the interns just got hurt…but no one ever really died…it was all for show…the bears…snakes…all were set up to not kill…maybe hurt…but not kill anyone…the bear is trained…the sharks…they were the only things that were real dangerous…but even that had some precautions to it….," Chris began to explain and I slapped him again but he still didn't seem to be shaken by it.
"I deserve that and more…hey I was wondering how much do you care about Cody," Chris asked.
"What does Cody have to do with this? Give me answers," I shouted, I didn't want to hear this extra crap that Chris was throwing out to me.
"I well…I just wanted to know…," He said and for some reason I felt obliged to answer.
"He is a good guy…just a little weird," I told him but for some reason my heart now began to strain as it felt like it was clenching as hard as it could.
"Chris…," I began.
"Cody…was scared when he saw this challenge…he went up to me and asked if it was safe…and I made a stupid joke….that kid cares about you a lot you know," He interrupted, this time I remained quite.
"Then I found out that there was no safety net for you or Owen to fall onto…and when you fell we were running to get the boat…Cody did something else though," Chris paused as he took a breath and began thinking about how to finish what he wanted to say. Get on with it already! Tell me what happened to Cody! I shouted in my mind…but my heart… I think my heart already knew what happened…but I had to hear it…I had to hear it with my own two ears.
"Cody apparently took Duncan's pocket knife and ran towards the water," Chris spoke and now I was becoming afraid to hear the rest of the story…Chris…no more don't tell me what happened…I don't want to hear it! But those words couldn't come out of my mouth as I listened in horror to what Chris had to say, my eyes began to water.
"Cody apparently cut himself and dived in when you fell…we didn't see him at first since we were panicking about not making it to you on time…but when we almost got there…when the sharks were about to take that bite…," No…please no…
"The sharks stopped and we noticed Cody was in the water. The sharks…they left you and went towards him…we were able to get you onto the boat thanks to him…," Please! Please…don't finish that last sentence…just please…it hurts too much…I can't take it…please Chris stop! Tears now flowed down my face as my hand went towards my hurting heart and clenched my wet shirt.
"Gwen…Cody sacrificed himself to save you…," Chris finished and he looked completely broken now. No! Why did you have to say that…no…why! Why…just lie…tell me anything but that…tell me anything…just don't tell me he is…
"He…he…died," Chris finished as he now looked like he took a dirty secret off his chest.
"You…you're stupid challenge did…" I couldn't finish the sentence…Chris now looked pathetic as I could see him fully taking blame…his emotions showed it too well.
A hand then gently touched my shoulder,
"Gw… Gwen…I'm…sor…sorry," Trent was stuttering as he spoke, his composer was gone, Trent was outside his element and just didn't know what to do or say.
"Gwen… I don't know how to say this…but I think…" I could see the hurt in his eyes…he was crying…he was trying so hard to hold back his tears and say what he wanted to say,
"Gwen…I thought…I thought I could…do anything for you…that I truly loved you…but…what Cody did…it was unreal…he…," Trent stopped talking as I slapped him…I just couldn't take it anymore! I know what he was going to tell me…Cody cared for me, he really did…he got eaten alive to save me to prove it.
I could no longer take this anymore and I ran.
"Gwen, wait," Trent shouted but he didn't run after me, Trent was now truly defeated.
I was headed towards my cabin and grabbing my things and throwing them in my luggage bag. I wanted off this island, I wanted to be away from this place, and I wanted to go home now!
When I finally finished I made it to the dock of shame and then I shouted a cry as loud as I could. I didn't care if anyone heard me, I can't take it anymore. I fell on my knees and began crying, I cried so much. The pain was just too unreal, not even the time Heather tricked me and Trent could compare to this pain that I felt now.
What was so special about me? Why did he have to get himself killed just for me? I didn't understand…all I would do is push him away and reject him. Why would he even consider di….I can't say it… I don't want to say it…I don't want to believe it…but it was true, he di….gah…I cried again, my mind was now hurting as much as my heart.
I now felt someone approaching from behind me, a soft gentle hand touched my shoulder and I didn't know who it was.
"Go away," I told the person through my sobs but they didn't leave. Who ever it was now just took a seat next to me and patted me on the back.
"Let it all out girl," Leshawna said as I could hear her sore throat and see that her eyes were teary as well.
After some time my sobs began to quite down and Leshawna sat patiently for me.
"Why," I asked her...and she looked down towards the water.
"Why did he…how could anyone do that for some one…he let himself get eaten alive," I shouted.
Leshawna took a deep breath and then looked me in the eye. Her eyes were just as puffy as Chris's.
"Do you know how much Cody cared for you," Leshawna asked me and I nodded 'no' to her.
"He loved you," Leshawna told me and I let those words sink into my head. My heart then warmed up to the idea…that Cody loved me and then I cried harder then I ever cried before.