A/N: Sorry it took so long- everything extended into something much longer than I originally planned ^-^u

This chapter also has a bit more drama but with the people Itachi's surrounded by it's no wonder!

Warning: Language, violence, OOC?

Enjoy :D

Itachi didn't know how or why it happened. But someone up there had it out for him, and had it out for him bad. As if Sasuke wasn't enough to handle, the definition of the devil Naruto had to go off and invade his life as if he had been there all along. And then Deidara popped out! From nowhere! A pyromaniac who found it funny to blow banks and little children up! What the hell was his life coming to?

Itachi sighed, rubbing a hand over his brow as he sat up. It was the middle of the night and he had promptly fallen asleep after hitting his head on the wall. That…or he just went unconscious. And that would be strange because if he was unconscious, there was no way he could get himself in the bed-

He froze.

His fingers clenched on the bed sheets, body beginning to tremble as he forced himself to look down at his side. "What…are you doing…in my bed?"

Deidara cracked an eye open from where he lay, facedown in the raven's pillow with his golden locks splayed across his shoulders. "What hmm…?"

Itachi's whole body was rocking in rage. "Dei-da-ra," he ground out.

"Is there an earthquake or something…? Quit shaking Uchiha, I'm trying to sleep."

Itachi kicked him into the wall. "Find your own bed!"

"Ow!" Deidara pushed himself out the dent made upon impact, glaring at the raven with a narrowed eye. "Is this how you treat all your guests hmm?"

"We never have guests."

"Well I can see why un." Deidara brushed himself off and then made to walk towards his door. "Alright. If you won't let me sleep with you, then I'll just sleep with Sasu-kun and Naru-chan. They share a bed right?"

Itachi glared. "Don't even think about it."

Deidara paused by the door, turning to look at him with a smirk. "Oh? Worried I'll do something to your precious siblings un? And the other one doesn't even look like your sibling. And where are your parents? Because I know you didn't pop those two out on your own. I gotta tell you un, when I first snuck into this place, all I could see where Uchiha look-a-likes. Although there was this one cool guy…his name was Seashell or something. Said he was a cousin of yours hmm-"

"Will you stop running that stupid mouth of yours if I let you stay in here?" Itachi finally burst, a vein threatening to burst.

Deidara's eye glittered in the dark as he dutifully bobbed his head.

"Fine! Just stay on your side of the bed and don't touch me!" Itachi growled in exasperation, falling back into his pillow and turning onto his side so he wouldn't have to see the cocky smirk he knew was on the blonde's face.

"I knew you'd see it my way," Deidara said in a smug voice, plopping into the bed roughly just to aggravate the Uchiha. "Thank you oh-so-much for the hospitality Itachi."

Itachi huffed under his breath. "Shut up and don't say my name ever again."

Deidara's smirk grew wider and he turned on his side as well, making sure to bring the covers with him. "No problem…Itachi."

Said boy twitched. Someone was going to die.

And thus began the beginning of many horrid experiences for the both of them.

Day one: Sharing the Bathroom (never wants to do it again)

"Scoot over Itachi, your big head is blocking the mirror hmm."

"Well maybe you shouldn't stick your big head in my personal space Dei-da-ra."

"I wouldn't have to if you weren't so fat un!"

"Me? Speak for yourself!"

The two teens crammed by the sink in front of the mirror momentarily clashed foreheads, grinding their teeth with lightning sparking between them before huffing and pulling away.

"Stupid prick un," Deidara scowled, beginning to pull his hair into his customary Hyuuga style hair-do. (What Itachi now dubbed it as) "No wonder you have no friends."

"Coming from you, stupid little brat," Itachi bitterly scoffed, trying to go back to brushing his teeth. "At least I don't have to break into peoples homes claiming I'm on a mission just to have some friendly company."

"What was that? You wanna say that again hmm?"

"Sure! You friendless hobo!"

"I don't like your tone Itachi!" Deidara said, temple starting to throb.

"Really? Me neither Dei-da-ra," Itachi said back with barely concealed restraint.

"You wanna start a fight un?"

"Do you?"

"Nii-san! Open up already!" Sasuke shouted, banging on the bathroom door from the outside in desperation.

"Yeah, yeah!" Naruto joined in, holding a hand in front of his shorts. "We really gotta pee! We've been out here for a whole hour!" he complained.

Itachi shot the door a deathly glare. "Shut up and pee in a bottle for all I care!"

"Waaahhh! Itachi-nii is so mean!" Naruto wailed.

"Stop calling me that!" Itachi barked, fingers clenching his toothpaste tube in anger. A loud squirting noise was heard, followed by the sound of something snapping. Itachi felt a chill run up his spine and he slowly turned sideways.

Deidara glared at him, spearmint-flavored toothpaste all over his newly combed hair and a broken toothbrush in his gloved hand.

Itachi couldn't help it. He sniggered.

Deidara's brow twitched. "Something funny…Uchiha-kun un?"

Itachi waved a hand at him, stifling another laugh. "No, nothing at all. I was just…admiring your new hairstyle. Very catchy I must say."

"Oh really?" The blonde looked at him with murderous intent, rearing his head back to give the raven a thunderous stare.

Itachi blinked.

And the zoomed out the bathroom before he could lose a limb or two.

Behind him he could hear Sasuke and Naruto stumbling into the bathroom in surprise.

"Deidara-nii, what was that all about?"

"Nothing Sasu-kun~! I just need to pay Ita-kun a little visit…"

Itachi spared a glance over his shoulder and regretted it almost immediately. "What the-?"

Deidara did a flying kick, catching him in the jaw. "Ita-kun!" Said boy went crashing into the wall. Deidara had him by the collar a second later, a vein throbbing violently on his forehead. "Who do you think you're messing with hmm? I'll send you into oblivion faster than you can even blink!"

Itachi smirked and then flipped the younger blonde onto the floor, holding him by the neck. His smirk grew at the furious expression on Deidara's face and he tilted his head to the side, smiling politely. "Who do you think you're messing with? I'm not one to be underestimated-"

"Bad nii-san! Bad!"

Deidara deadpanned as Sasuke and Naruto double-teamed to deliver a certain Uchiha a good kick to the noggin, effectively knocking Itachi off of the Iwa-nin and sending him sprawling onto the floor. Sasuke knelt down beside Deidara in worry, helping him sit up. "Are you okay? Nii-san was just being stupid."

What? Itachi felt a tick appear.

Naruto pointed an accusing finger at Itachi, one hand on his hip. "So much for acting mature! You're a bad example for all of us!"

Itachi lifted his head, eyes bugging. "WHOSE SIDE ARE YOU BRATS ON?"

"Ita-kun was so mean to me," Deidara tearfully said, wiping the corner of his eye. "I just wanted to say 'good morning' but he got all angry and squirted his toothpaste on me un…"

Sasuke and Naruto gasped. "No way!" they said.

"It's…it's true," Deidara said, turning his head to the side as if he had just revealed a big secret.

Sasuke narrowed his eyes as Naruto pulled Deidara to his feet. "Nii-san, what you have done cannot be forgiven."

Itachi stared at him. "What in the world-"

"You're gonna have to suffer by not eating breakfast with us!" Sasuke shouted, hands on his hips. "Now go to your room nii-san and reflect on what you've done!"

"Yeah! Reflect!" Naruto chimed.

Deidara laughed behind his hand.

"You brats…" Itachi's fingers were twisting with the urge to kill. "WHO DO YOU THINK THE ELDERS ARE AROUNG HERE?"

"Come on Deidara-nii- let's go to the bathroom and clean you up!" Sasuke cheerfully said, blatantly ignoring his brother while starting to drag the older blonde down the hall. Naruto took up his other side, marching with the grace of a gorilla.

Itachi's entire body was twitching. "T-These guys…"

Deidara looked over his shoulder at him with a cocky smirk before sticking his tongue out. 'Score one for me Uchiha-kun', he silently mouthed.

I'LL KILL THAT BRAT! Itachi mentally screamed, another vein bursting.

Day two: Running Errands (ding-dong ditch)

Knock Knock

Deidara snickered and then ducked off behind some bushes, dragging Itachi with him.

"Get off of me!" Itachi hissed, smacking the other teen's hand off of him. "What do you think you're-"

"Shh…" Deidara kept his gaze on the door, nearly bouncing in anticipation.

Sasuke and Naruto, who had been patiently waiting in the bushes already like they had been told, looked at each other in confusion.

The door hesitantly swung open, a middle-aged woman curiously sticking her head out before shrugging and heading back inside. It was a mild reaction, but just what a certain blonde was hoping for. Itachi eyed Deidara with newfound distaste, crinkling his nose. What kind of self-respecting shinobi did these kind of things?

"Deidara-nii, what did that do?" Naruto curiously asked.

"That- Sasu-kun, Naru-chan- was the start of some fun."

"Fun?" Both boys tilted their heads, almost conking them together.

Deidara shook his head eagerly. "Yeah un. Watch this- her reaction gets funnier and funnier each time!"

Itachi rolled his eyes. Oh good grief…

Deidara proceeded to do it four more times before Itachi finally brought him into a headlock to keep him still. But all Naruto and Sasuke saw was a friendly one-armed hug between two friends.

Sasuke smiled at Naruto. "I'm glad nii-san finally has a friend."

"Me too," Naruto said while beaming. "Now he won't be such a grouch."

Itachi glowered at the two eight year olds. Are they idiots?

"Oi Uchiha-kun…" Deidara said in a low voice. "Do you mind getting your ogre hands off of me?"

Itachi felt a vein pop, smiling as he increased the pressure on the blonde's neck. "What did you say Dei-da-ra?"

"See? He's even smiling." Naruto pointed to Itachi, still grinning at Sasuke.

"Ah Ita-kun! Your hug is starting to hurt," Deidara loudly chirped, using the children's innocence to his advantage. "I can't breathe!"

Suddenly Naruto and Sasuke's pleasant faces became clouded ones with gleaming eyes.

"Can't you keep your immature tendencies under control?" Itachi muttered to the Iwa-nin, reluctantly loosening his grasp.

"This is actually good training to become a shinobi," Deidara offhandedly said, giving Itachi a dark look before shoving out his grasp.

Sasuke's eyes widened in glee. "R-Really?"

The blonde grinned at the youngest Uchiha, nodding. "That's right hmm. You work on your stealth and quick reflexes!"

"Wow! I didn't know that!" Sasuke excitedly said.

"Yeah, me neither!" Naruto gushed.

Deidara modestly shrugged. "It's really no big deal un. I do this all the time."

Itachi looked at him with a blank face, sweatdropping. So that suddenly justifies your actions?

"Okay! Your turn!" Deidara chirped to Sasuke.

"OK!" Sasuke jumped to his feet, prepared to go out.

"No you don't," Itachi growled, pulling his stupid brother back by the collar of his shirt.

Sasuke frowned. "But that's no fair is Naruto gets to! I want to have fun too nii-san!"

Itachi sighed, rubbing his brow. "Look, neither of you are going to do what this brat over here indicates as fun," he said, motioning to a smirking Deidara.

"But Naruto's already up there," Sasuke complained with a pout.

"What?" Itachi's eyes snapped to the front door where Naruto was happily pushing the doorbell. "Naruto! Get back here!" he ordered in a hushed voice.

Deidara snickered.

"Argh!" Itachi threw his hands up into the air, pushing to his feet and jumping up beside Naruto before the woman could open the door again. "You guys are going to get into serious trouble one of these days," he scolded, throwing the little devil spawn into the bushes with the other two brats. He stared the group down. "Now can we please get back to delivering these packages?"

Sasuke's eyes suddenly grew very large.

Naruto began choking on his spit.

And Deidara sat back with a broad smile, an eyebrow raised in his direction.

Itachi looked at them irritably, wondering if there was something on his face when he noticed a sudden looming aura behind him.

"You juvenile delinquint…." a dark voice said.

Itachi turned, a nervous smile on his lips. "Ah…this isn't what it looks like-"

"So you're the hooligan who's been disrupting my nap!" the woman roared, socking him in the face with a frying pan. "Take this!"

Itachi saw a light flash before his eyes. "M-Matte-!"

"Silence! Prepare to die!"

The three in hiding cringed as Itachi was beat into a bloody pulp.

"Ouch. That's gotta hurt," Deidara said with a half-smirk, half-wince.

"Is he gonna be alright?" Naruto asked, flinching with each hit.

"Oh sure." Deidara grinned down at the younger blonde, ruffling his hair. "After all, Ita-kun's got a pretty hard head." A big one at that, he sourly added in his mind.

Day three: Cousins (never know whose side they're on)

Itachi looked up at the sound of his bedroom door opening and then quickly whipped his head back down. What the hell?

"Hey there Itachi-kun! How's my favorite cousin?"

"You say that about all your cousins," Itachi muttered under his breath.

"Hm?" Shisui rested a hand on his waist. "Why aren't you looking at me? Something wrong with my face?"

Yes. "Of course not. I'm just busy studying, that's all," Itachi smoothly lied.

Shisui raised both brows. "You're sitting at an empty desk."

"Shut up."

"Well come on, look at me already."

"No."

"Come on!"

"No!"

"Don't be such a grouch!" Shisui said in exasperation. "I only came because I heard you got a pretty good whopping yesterday. Sasuke-chan and his little friend were really excited about it."

"Oh really?" Itachi lifted his head, a vein throbbing clearly on the side of his temple. "Shisui…how did you get into my house?"

"Whoa!" Shisui leaned forward in awe. "That's one nasty bruise. How'd you get it?"

"Shisui…"

"I think your nose might be permanently disfigured-"

"Shisui!"

"Okay, okay, fine!" His cousin grinned and pointed behind him to where a smug looking blonde stood in Itachi's doorway. "Dei-kun let me in. He's really a nice kid you know."

Itachi felt a nerve snap, hands twitching. "Y-You've got to be kidding me."

Shisui smiled. "Nope!"

"…"

"…"

Itachi activated his Sharingan. "MANGEKYO!"

Deidara sweatdropped. Why do I get the feeling he uses that eye alot on Shisui-san?

Day four: Friendship? (definitely disfunctional)

"Uchiha-kun."

Itachi reluctantly looked up from where he was sitting on his porch out back, putting down the book on throwing techniques he had been reading. The one who had disrupted him was none other than Deidara- but he had gotten way used to it to be surprised. Lately his brother and Naruto had gone off on a hitchhiking phase, trying to secretly tag along with shinobi they didn't even know on missions. Itachi only found out about it the night before from the Hokage who had the two evil brats in his possession. Apparently they had snuck out while he was dealing with Shisui.

But that wasn't the point at hand. Itachi sighed and eyed the blonde taking a seat next to him. "Was there something you wanted?" he muttered.

Deidara smirked. "You sound like you don't want to see me."

"Hn."

"Hmm...trying out a new syllable un?"

Itachi felt the bridge of his nose turn pink. "Whatever."

Deidara laughed before quieting down. "Say Uchiha-kun..."

"What is it?" Itachi looked at him through the corner of his eye.

"That technique you used on Shisui-san," Deidara began to say. "What was it?"

"Eh?"

"When your eyes turn red and the chakra behind it surges." The blonde motioned towards his face. "I want to know what that is hmm."

Itachi suspiciously narrowed the very eyes they were talking about, only they remained dark. "Why?"

Deidara's visible blue eye got a far off glaze to them after this question. "Because those eyes right then...were true beauty."

Itachi's cheeks flushed in embarrassment. "It's my kekkei-genkai. Sharingan."

"Sharingan huh...?" Deidara smiled. "It's like Beauty and the Beast un. Your eyes the daring beauty being wasted on the hideous beast known as Uchiha Itachi."

Itachi hit him over the head.

"Ow!"

"What about you?" Itachi pointed to his hands. "You always wear gloves."

Deidara blinked. "Oh this? It's my kekkei-genkai too."

Itachi waited for him to go on.

And waited.

"..."

"..."

"Aren't you going to finish what you started?" Itachi nearly burst.

Deidara couldn't help but to stick his tongue out. It was really too easy to rile the other teen up. "Right. I won't tell you everything just like you didn't tell me everything about that Sharingan of yours-"

Itachi harrumphed.

"But I'll let you in on a little secret I guess." Deidara leaned over, holding a hand to the side of his mouth. "I have two little mouths beneath these gloves that I use for my art."

"What?" Itachi stared at him in near disbelief. "For your...you mean when you blow things up?"

Deidara sat back, nodding. "That's the idea."

"That's not exactly art you know..."

"It is too!"

"No...it's not."

"Yes it is!"

"Having three mouths isn't strange at all if you were thinking I'd be weird about knowing," Itachi suddenly said.

Deidara felt the corner of his lips tilt up. "I never once thought you'd mind un. That's not the kind of person you are hmm."

Itachi cast him an irritated look. "What would you know about the kind of person I am, Dei-da-ra?"

"The stupid kind Itachi," the blonde snickered.

"Hn."

It was silent as they turned their focus to the setting sun, both taking note of the wispy clouds and purple-painted sky for several minutes. Itachi was almost enjoying the comfortable silence until-

"Oh yeah."

Itachi rolled his eyes to Deidara. "What now?"

Deidara thoughfully held a finger to his chin. "I've just realized that you use the Sharingan on your cousin a lot. Why is that?"

"Because he annoys me," Itachi said.

"Hmm? You never use it on me though..." Deidara grinned at him. "Is it because I don't annoy you un?"

"No..." Itachi felt the nerve under his left eye twitch. "You just piss me off."

Deidara's grin, if possible, grew much larger. "Is that so? Then my mission is coming along well!"

This little brat- Itachi took a deep breath. He refused to rise to the bait-

"I forgot to tell you," the blonde interrupted his calming thoughts. "Today the Hokage called for you because Sasu-kun and Naru-chan got in trouble again."

"What?" Itachi's gaze snapped to the musing teen. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Deidara acquired an innocent look. "Well you were so into your book that I didn't have the heart to interrupt you hmm. So I went in myself and got them for you!" he chirped, oblivious to the blood draining from the raven's face. "Although the Hokage wanted to know where you were, I told him you ran into a wall and knocked yourself out un. He seemed to buy it anyway. And then I scolded Naru-chan and Sasu-kun in front of him just so he would know how responsible I am."

"Why do I get the feeling that's not all you said?" Itachi quietly uttered, depression smacking him over the head.

"Oh- very good!" Deidara clapped his hands. "I also told the Hokage I would give you a good spanking for not taking care of your responsibilities."

Itachi leapt back, mortified. "WHAT? WHAT DID HE SAY AFTER THAT?"

Deidara tilted his head to the side, giving him a thumbs up. "He thinks you have great relatives."

A part of Itachi died that day.

Day five: Taking Care of Business (with the Hyuugas)

"You'll have to wait out here while I take care of business," Itachi strictly told his little brother and conniving friend.

"But nii-san," Sasuke protested. "What if we get lost?"

Itachi's eye twitched. "You won't if you stay in this spot."

Naruto crossed his arms. "But that's boring!"

Itachi's fingers cracked. "Listen you-"

"Ita-kun! The jii-chan is coming!"

"What? You brat- don't call him that!" Itachi hissed, shoving the blonde behind him as the head of the Hyuuga Clan approached them.

The four of them had left from the Uchiha Compound ten minutes ago, Itachi having realized today was the date his father was supposed to settle a financial debt with Hiashi. But his dad decided to up and leave on vacation so the responsiblity came to fall on him. Needless to say Itachi didn't trust Sasuke and Naruto alone. And he most certainly didn't trust Deidara with them either who'd probably send them off to blow up the charity center. So Itachi brought them along if only to stand by and watch. They were to have dinner in the main household and discuss terms of agreement and hopefully none of them would screw it up.

"Good evening Hiashi-sama," Itachi politely said as the older man came to a halt in front of him.

Hiashi gave a short bob of his head. "Yes. Good evening. Come inside for a moment," he said, motioning to a room to the side of them.

Itachi gave Naruto and Sasuke a look that clearly said to stay out of trouble before following Hiashi into the room and dragging Deidara with him.

Hiashi took a seat at the head of the room, a hand on each leg to give him an even more imposing air.

Deidara just scoffed and wondered why Itachi bothered to bring him in too.

Once inside and seated, Itachi respectfully bowed, reaching up a moment later to shove Deidara's head down as well. "It is good to see you so healthy Hiashi-sama."

Deidara rolled his eyes. Suck up.

"As it is to you. It is unfortunate your father fell ill yesterday. Send him my regards," Hiashi said.

"He'll be very pleased," Itachi answered. Tou-san please don't kill me for lying. But if he found out you went on a vacation you'd be in even bigger trouble!

Hiashi approvingly nodded. "You have grown up well Fugaku's son. You'll do well to take over the family business."

"Hai."

Deidara gave the raven beside him a sour look. Yeah right. He doesn't want to take over at all! "Liar."

Itachi's eye twitched. "Shut up," he quietly said so Hiashi wouldn't hear.

Hiashi, as if noticing for the first time, looked at Deidara in surprise. "A wife has already been chosen for you Itachi? You're doing exceptionally well then."

Itachi didn't know whether to laugh or gag. "A-Arigatou Hiashi-sama."

Deidara shot him a scathing glare before eyeing the head of the Hyuuga clan. "I'm a boy un."

"..."

"Ah." Hiashi cleared his throat, trying to brush off the awkward moment as he stood. "My apologies. Shall we go on to dinner?"

Deidara followed the man's back with a deathly glare.

They stepped out into the polished hallway, Itachi looking at the ground in annoyance.

Sasuke pushed off the wall he had been leaning on, nudging a dozing Naruto with his foot to wake him up.

"You're going to burn a hole into the floor if you keep that look up," Deidara absently grumbled.

"Idiot brat," Itachi said, punching the blonde in the arm as Naruto and Sasuke trailed behind them. "You have to show more respect to Hiashi-sama or else we'll lose the entire deal. Tou-san is entrusting gaining the Hyuuga debt to me."

Deidara snorted. "It's hard to respect someone who thinks you're of the opposite sex un."

"Well try," Itachi groaned in exasperation. Things were not looking so good.

-Thirty minutes, one fire, an explosion, a fuming Hiashi, mortified Itachi, giggling Sasuke, laughing Naruto, smirking Deidara, and food splattered walls later.

"Out of the house- NOW!"

"Yikes! This guy is scarier than you Ita-kun!" Deidara said, bouncing to his feet and grabbing Sasuke along with him.

Itachi felt his patience snap. "Deidara you idiot! Why did you put a bomb in his food?" But nonetheless he also stood, pulling Naruto by the hand in a mad dash out the Hyuuga main household.

"He questioned my gender again! I think that alone is a good enough reason un!"

"No it's not!"

Hiashi shook his fist after them. "You juveniles will pay!"

Day six: Having Arguments (because every family does)

Itachi was not in the mood to be messed with.

It was hot in the house, there were messes everywhere, and he was stuck cleaning it all up because Sasuke and Naruto would only make it worse. Shisui had come over to help watch the two while he attempted to fix the place from the Hyuuga incident, but his cousin wasn't of much help either. He was giving Naruto and Sasuke kunai and shuriken to play with for Kami's sake!

On top of that, Itachi was tired from lack of sleep and still miffed at Deidara for screwing things up even more than they were before with the Hyuuga Clan. And now the blonde was constantly getting in the way, claiming he was trying to clean up too.

Itachi gave Deidara a sour glare as the blonde bumped into him, stepping on his foot and accidentally dropping the box of police documents he had been holding. "Do you always screw things up like this?" he asked.

Deidara flushed and started to gather the papers. "Not any more than you do un," he muttered.

"What was that?" Itachi tapped his foot, arms crossed. "Am I the one on the ground?"

"Look Ita-kun, I don't know who pissed in your Cheerios this morning but-"

"Don't call me that," Itachi sharply cut him off.

Deidara looked at him in something akin to surprise before huffing and getting to his feet. "I'll call you what I like."

Itachi narrowed his eyes. "Well I'll call you what I like then. Stupid screw-up."

"Prick!"

"Moron!"

"Socially-redundant bastard un!"

"Speech impediment idiot!"

"Girly-boy!"

"You're the girly boy!"

"At least I don't have long lashes," Deidara sneered.

"Yeah-" Itachi scoffed. "You wear eyeliner instead."

Sasuke looked over at his brother and the older blonde, forgetting about Naruto who was in the middle of throwing a playful punch. He brought his head back down and stuck his lip out at his best friend. "What was that for?"

Naruto sheepishly rubbed the back of his head. "Sorry Sasuke. You weren't paying attention so-OW!"

Shisui held his hands out, sweatdropping. "Calm down you two-"

"What was that for?" Naruto cried, holding the growing bump on his forehead.

"You hit me first."

"Yeah but it was an accident!"

"I give up," Shisui murmured, smacking a hand to his face.

"OK then!" Sasuke jumped to his feet, hands on his hips. "We'll settle this with a fight! Just like nii-san and Deidara-nii!"

Naruto also got to his feet, stumbling slightly. "Fine! Hippo!"

"Cheese curl!"

"Cupcake!"

"Sausage!"

"Fruit cup!"

"Donut!"

Shisui stared at the two boys. Those are hardly offending names...but what the heck! Still funny for me! He smiled, hearing the argument on the other side of the room coming to a stop. And it seems like they've caught the two drama queen's attentions as well.

Itachi and Deidara exchanged a glance.

"Our fighting won't ever resort to that, will it un?" Deidara asked.

Itachi nodded. "Of course not. Real men settle it with fists."

Deidara smirked. "Is that why you never threw a punch?"

"Hey Deidara..."

"Hmm?"

"Shut up."

The blonde frowned. "See? This is why no one likes you. I was just making a joke un."

Itachi found himself glaring. "Your jokes aren't funny."

"You just don't have a sense of humor, with that stick up your ass-" Deidara started to say with a smile.

"Oh come off it. You're just upset because no one would ever like a three-mouthed freak like you!" Itachi suddenly snapped, not liking being told what he had in his body or not. Of course as soon as he said it, he regretted it. Because Naruto and Sasuke chose that time to become friends again and quiet down just in time to hear his loud statement. Damn you irony.

Sasuke and Naruto were silently gaping and even Shisui looked surprised.

Deidara stared at Itachi, horro-stricken.

"T-Three mouths?" Sasuke said in a whisper.

"Wicked cool..." Naruto mumbled back. But their voices were too low for anyone else to hear.

The blonde took a step back and then another, suddenly feeling as if the world was closing in on him.

Itachi winced and held out a hand. "Deidara-"

Deidara pivoted on his heel, only to run face first into Shisui's chest. He fell on his butt, nose and cheeks red. "What are you-?"

Shisui grasped his wrist, pulling the glove off the stunned teen's hand. His eyes widened. "Sugoi! It's real!"

Deidara blinked. "Of course it's real..."

"Hey! Dei-kun you dolt!" Shisui jabbed him hard in the forehead.

"Itai!"

"Don't keep secrets from your onii-chan ever again."

"Whose my onii-chan?" Deidara said with a throbbing temple.

Naruto and Sasuke padded over, staring at Deidara's hand like a fresh piece of meat.

"Cool!" Sasuke grinned at the older blonde. "Can I have three mouths too?"

"Er-" Deidara sweatdropped.

"Me too! Then I could eat three times as much as I do now!" Naruto exclaimed.

Deidara slowly pulled his glove back on. "That's not exactly how it works- ack!"

Shisui lifted the kids off the flailing blonde, holding one under each arm. "Alright kiddies, enough already. Who wants lunch?"

"I do!" they cheered.

Shisui grinned. "Good. Now-" he looked down at Deidara and then to Itachi who was shifting awkwardly on one foot. "You two kiss and make up or something."

"Eh?" They both flushed in rage. "No way!"

Deidara glared at the raven.

Itachi gave him a heated stare in return which he soon dropped, looking off to the side.

Shisui shook his head. "I'll be leaving. Make up or no food." Then he marched out the room, Naruto and Sasuke waving back at them.

"I don't want to apologize just for food hmm," Deidara complained under his breath. "Okay Uchiha-kun, let's go. I'm hungry."

Itachi looked at him as he turned around in surprise. "Deidara..." he sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I'm sorry."

"Yeah." Deidara shifted to face him. "I'm sorry you were born too."

"Wha-?" A tick appeared.

Deidara grinned, thumping a fist against his chest. "I've been called worse un. This was just a great way to get sympathy and let the others know about my kekkei-genkai. So thanks!" he flashed a victory sign.

Itachi's entire head was twitching to the side. "Dei-da-ra..."

The blonde laughed before bolting for the kitchen, a fuming raven hot on his heels.

"YOU DAMN BRAT!"

Day seven: Settling In (What. The. Hell?)

Itachi walked into the living room and froze.

Sprawled across one end of the couch was a certain blonde, bright blue eyes trained on the television show he was watching. Next to him was a plate of half-eaten dango and a cup of green tea that had yet to be drunk. The volume of the t.v. was turned down low for Naruto and Sasuke's sake, seeing as they were sleeping.

Itachi let out a loud sigh.

Deidara jumped and then cast him a jittery glare, not having sensed his presence or chakra at all.

"What do you think you're doing up this late?"

"Oh, it's you." Deidara fixed his attention back onto the T.V. screen. "Teme..."

"Is there a reason why you've settled in like this is your home?" Itachi dryly asked.

"Do I need one?"

Itachi felt his lips tilt down at the tone the blonde was using. What's he so depressed about? That's my job! "I would like an answer, since this is my house and all."

Deidara moodily slumped into the couch, crossing his arms. "I figured since I'm going to be here until your parents get back, I might as well make myself comfortable un."

"That's too comfortable," Itachi muttered, gruffly sitting beside the blonde. He pulled his legs up into the couch, wrapping his arms around his knees and resting his chin on them. The sounds of a chainsaw kicking up echoed throughout the room. "Why are you really here?"

Deidara glanced at him and then flicked his eyes back to the screen. "Do I have to tell you?"

"No."

"I ran away from home."

Itachi let out a sigh. "Somehow I'm not surprised. What for?"

"Why should I tell you hmm?"

"You don't have to- I don't really care," Itachi said in a nonchalant tone, reaching for a stick of dango.

"…They don't respect my views on art- simple as that un. The freakin' bastards!" Deidara didn't realize he was glaring until the T.V. he was staring at suddenly blew up. Bits of mechanical pieces rained down on them. Whoops…He slowly looked at the raven who was sure to be furious.

But to his surprise, Itachi only continued to munch on his sweet treat, eyeing him out the corner of his eye. "I have to say…I've never seen that happen before…"

"Wha-? Shouldn't you be mad?" Deidara asked in disbelief.

"I don't know-" Itachi flashed him a pleasant smile. "Should I?"

Deidara lifted both brows, planting his hands on his hips. "You like dango that much?"

Itachi nodded. "It's pretty much the only thing holding me back right now."

"Ah. This is perfect blackmail un."

"I know."

"You know I'll use this against you eventually."

"Maybe. But don't and I won't kill you for ruining my source of entertainment," the raven calmly said, reaching for another dango.

Deidara tilted his head. "I thought we were your source of entertainment," he said, referring to himself and the two sleeping kids.

"Fine. My other source of entertainment."

"…" A grin spread across Deidara's face. "Thanks Itachi hmm. But you're still a bastard."

Itachi looked up with a smirk. "And you're still a pubescent brat."

A vein popped. "Shut the hell up…"

Itachi took the clean stick out of his mouth, corners of his lips lifting. "Make me."

Deidara let out a small cry as the dango stick stabbed him in the head, holding the now bleeding spot. "Ow! What was that for?"

"You look even uglier with a sullen face," Itachi mused, crossing his arms. "Angry suits you much better."

Deidara felt his eye start to twitch. "Itachi…"

Itachi was already expecting Deidara to lunge and was easily able to pin him to the ground in front of the couch. He twisted the blonde's arm behind him, digging his knee into the struggling boy's back with a sadistic shine in his eye and grin. "You thought you would win with that? Just what rank are you?"

"Urgh!" Deidara flailed in the raven's iron grasp, turning his head back to glare at him. "Special Jounin un!" He quickly pitched to the side, carrying both their weights before kicking the other teen in the stomach and rolling away. "So don't go around thinking I'm weak-" he started to say while getting to his feet. He stopped when he noticed that Itachi was no where to be seen.

Until he appeared beside him and knocked him to the floor once again. Itachi stepped on his ribs, leeringly leaning forward with a smile. "Anbu Black Ops. You'll have to be a genius to beat me."

"You don't need a genius to beat a jerk like you!"

"Well you certainly don't need one to beat you."

"Shut up!" Deidara swiped the raven's feet out from under him, scoffing as Itachi fell onto his back. "You talk too much."

"What?" Itachi stared at him. "That's you!"

"It is not!"

"What are you talking about? You're the only one who talks in this house half the time!"

"Really un? Because it sounds like you're the one blabbering away hmm!"

"Nii-san…? Deidara-nii…?"

Both teens started, caught off guard. They looked over to the doorway where a pajama clad Sasuke and Naruto stood, the latter looking like the living dead.

A chill ran up Itachi and Deidara's spine.

"W-What's with that look?" Deidara muttered.

Sasuke sleepily rubbed the corner of one eye. "Nii-san, Deidara-nii…go to sleep already."

"Mmph!" Naruto nodded in agreement."Sasuke and I can't sleep if you guys are throwing a party without us."

Deidara and Itachi sweatdropped. Throwing a party?

"Yeah. Next time invite us," Sasuke pouted, yawning shortly afterwards.

Itachi sighed, slowly climbing off Deidara and brushing himself down. "Right. We're sorry. Now go to bed."

Deidara also got to his feet, albeit more energetically. "Yeah~! We'll be extra quiet for the rest of the night hmm. And tomorrow we can go to the park!"

Sasuke and Naruto's eyes immediately widened in excitement. "R-Really?"

"Er-" The older blonde scratched the back of his neck. "If Ita-kun wants," he said in a sweet voice. He blatantly ignored the seething glare being sent his way via Itachi.

"OK! Come on Naru- let's go to bed," Sasuke said with a smile to his best friend, dragging him back to the room they shared.

The two were left in an almost awkward silence, broken only by the sound of a fuse from the broken television set sparking.

"Well…" Deidara cleared his throat, cheeks flushed in a mixture of annoyance and embarrassment. "I'm going to get some sleep too un."

Itachi glanced from the younger teen to the electrical mess in the center of the room. "Right…"

"…"

"I guess it's safe to say you won't be helping me clean this up?" Itachi lightly inquired.

"Sounds about right," Deidara said with a hint of a smirk, turning to go.

Itachi folded his arms. "Fine. I'll come in later then. Just don't take all the covers you stupid pig."

Deidara glared over his shoulder. "I'll make sure to you freakin' whale. We'll settle this tomorrow Itachi."

Itachi turned his nose up. "Bring it Dei-da-ra."*

"Hmph!" The Iwa-nin half-heartedly flung a hand back as a wave, stalking out of the living room and down the hall.

Itachi waited for the blonde's presence to leave completely before unfolding his arms and allowing a small smile to spread across his face. "Idiotic brats…all of them..."

A/N: Whew! End of week two! See? Itachi's not completely heartless :)

Not that he ever was *cough*

Third week?