The opening theme of "Robot Chicken" plays, and the first scene plays.
The screen shows two guys sitting on a couch watching television
Guy #1: "Uh oh."
Guy #2: "What's the matter?"
Guy #1: "Um... I kinda have to fart."
Guy #2: So... go ahead and do it."
Guy #1: "Are you sure?"
Guy #2: "Yeah! Sure, it's just us guys man, nothing to be embarrassed about."
Guy #1: "Well, even so. My farts are kind of... irregular."
Guy #2: "Oh, you mean like you bleep your pants whenever you do it?"
Guy #1: "What? No! It's just that uh..."
Guy #2: "Look man, I won't judge. Just let 'er ripe."
Guy #1: "Ok... if you say so..."
Guy #1 stands up and unleashes his fart. As he does this a huge gust of wind blows around the room, and the entire wall, along with the half of the couch Guy #1 was sitting on gets blown away. Guy #1 takes a sigh of relief as he turns around.
Guy #1: "Much better."
Guy #2 only stares as a huge chunk of his house's wall along with half of his couch is missing. Guy #2 looks out the hole in the wall to see his wall and the couch still flying away in the distance.
-Screen switches channel-
The screen shows a bunch of elementary school kids in a classroom taking a test.
Teacher: "Alright class, you may begin your tests. Remember, no cheating."
Time passes as everyone works on their own test... until one kid looms over to the right and peeks at the neighboring kid's paper. The teacher walks over and glares at the kid.
Teacher: "Excuse me Billy."
Billy: "Um... yes?"
Teacher: "Were you just spying on another classmate's paper?"
Billy: "Uh... no ma'am."
Teacher: "Oh, I think you were."
Billy: "No ma'am! I wasn't!"
Teacher: "I'm absolutely sure you were... and do you know what that means?"
Billy: "No no please ma'am I won't do it again! PLEASE!"
The teacher smiles and pulls out a remote control. She presses a big red button on it, and as she does, Billy's desk gets swallowed by a trap door that opens beneath him. The desk returns a few seconds later... without Billy sitting in it.
Teacher: "Continue your tests children, and remember, you didn't see anything."
Kids (in unison): "We didn't see anything."
-Screen changes channel-
The screen shows the TARDIS from the hit british TV series "Dr. Who". A guy walks by it and looks at the TARDIS.
Guy: "Ah! Perfect!"
The guy opens the TARDIS and walks inside. He shuts the door, and a faint zipping noise can be heard along with a series of loud farts afterwards. Some loud grunts and groans also accompany this farting.
Guy: "Ahhhhh that's better... wow wow wow WOW! Wait just a second here... there's no toilet paper in here!"
-Screen switches channel-
The screen shows a board meeting with George Lucas as the chairmen along with a few other businessmen.
George Lucas: "Ok guys, we need new creature ideas for the Star War series. Lay em on me."
Business man #1: "Ok, how about we put a cat's head on a raptor's body, and we'll call it a 'Captor'."
George Lucas: "Next..."
Business man #2: "We could always reconsider the idea to put a sentient species of living toasters on the planet-..."
George Lucas: "For the last time Artie, we're not going to consider your piece of bleep ideas!"
Business man #2: "You guys NEVER respect my opinion!"
Business man #2 runs out of the room crying.
George Lucas: "What else do we got?"
Business man #3: "Ok, how about this. We can have a bunch of multi-colored aliens with antennas on their heads and televisions on their bellies. We can call them... the teletubbies..."
George Lucas: "Aren't the teletubbies already taken?"
Business man #3 laughs, and shakes his head.
Business man #3: "George George George... you have so much to learn. Everyone knows when you're rich and well respected, you can take all the ideas you want and people can't do bleep about it!"
George Lucas: "Good point, let's go with the teletubbies idea!"
Businessmen (in unison): "Here here!"
-Screen switches channel-
The screen shows a basketball player making a slam dunk at the basketball hoop. As he makes the dunk, he slams the ball in a holds the rail. The basketball player looks down below himself.
Basketball player: "Wow! I did it! I did a slam dunk and I'm a WHITE guy!... but uh... now that I'm up here... how do I get down?"
-Screen switches channel-
The screen shows a man being chased by a mummy. The mummy groans and moans as he slowly creeps towards the man, and as they both reach a dead end, the man takes out a machete and cuts the mummy's arm off. The mummy groans in pain and the moans suddenly turn into a human-sounding cry of pain.
Mummy: "OW OW OW! Oh my god man! Why the bleep did you do that? You cut my bleeping arm off! I need that for... stalking and...moaning and...creeping slowly and bleep."
Man: "Oh god, I'm... I'm so sorry I just got... a little caught up in the moment is all. Are... are you ok?"
Mummy: "Well the pain is definitely declining, that's a good sign."
Man: "Um... maybe... maybe if we get to the hospital we can-..."
Mummy: "No no no it's fine... really it's fine. I'm afraid it doesn't work that way. Once a mummy's arm is off it's off for good. There's no way to reattach it."
Man: "Well you'd be surprised at modern medical science. I mean-..."
Mummy: "It's fine really! I... I don't even have the money to pay for the procedure."
Man: "Oh... um... are you... going to be ok?"
Mummy: "I think so, but this kinda screws me over since I was going to go to the bank tomorrow to get a lone for some new traps... but since I kinda sign my name with my left hand and all..."
Man: "Oh, I'm sorry."
Mummy: "Nah. I guess it's kinda my fault to... I mean if I didn't scare the living bleep outta ya in the first place this wouldn't have happened."
Man: "Yeah...so uh... are we cool?"
Mummy: "I guess so."
-Screen changes channel-
The screen shows the series' signature Robot Chicken nerd playing the computer... looking at porn.
Nerd: "Ah... boobies."
Announcer: "Hey you!"
Nerd: "Who me?"
Announcer: "Yes you!"
Nerd: "Dad! Is that you finally coming to claim ownership of me?"
Announcer: "Um... no... no sorry."
Nerd: "Aw..."
Announcer: "Are you tired of looking at pictures of boobies and want to see the real thing?"
Nerd: "Well yes I suppose, why do you ask?"
Announcer: "Then we have the product for you! The stupid dumbs***s guide to getting boobies!"
Nerd: "Oh boy! Boobies!"
Announcer: "This guide has exactly 371 methods for you to strategically get a glimpse of a girl's chest!"
The stupid dumbs***s guide to getting boobies suddenly appears in the Nerd's hands.
Nerd: "Oh boy! Boobies!"
Announcer: "Are you small and sneaky? Then perhaps you should try method #84!"
The nerd is suddenly shown in the girl's bathroom hiding inside a locker.
Nerd (whispering): "Oh boy, I'm finally going to see boobies!"
The girls suddenly start to walk in the bathroom.
Girl #1: "Hang on, I gotta grab my towel."
Girl #1 opens the locker that the nerd is in, and he starts to get pummeled by the girls.
Girls (in unison): "Take this you PERVERT!"
Announcer: "Method #84 not working out for you? Try method #45!"
The nerd is now shown on a trampoline trying to peek into a girl's room on the 2nd floor.
Nerd (now with a black eye): "This outta work for sure!"
The nerd tries to catch a glimpse of the girl, but she notices him bobbing up and down by her window, and takes out her pepper spray and sprays the Nerd every time he jumps back up on the trampoline.
Announcer: "Are you still not having any luck? Try method #20!"
The nerd is now shown with a black eye and a red face in the mall, and he walks up to a girl browsing cell phones.
Nerd: "Excuse me ma'am, I am a licensed boobies inspector and I have reason to believe that your boobies are not up to standards, please show me them so that I may obtain confirmation."
The Nerd flashes a fake badge and the girl examines it.
Girl (in a really deep voice): "Sure."
The Nerd gasps at this voice and runs away.
Announcer: "Still no luck? Well if you're really that pathetic, you should try method #-..."
Nerd: "Wait a second!"
Announcer: "What is it?"
Nerd: "So far I've been beaten up, sprayed in the face, and scarred for life! Are you sure that this guide really works?"
Announcer: "Well... to be honest it's still in the prototype stage. You were our guinea pig."
The Nerd goes to his fireplace and starts to burn the book.
Nerd: "I think I'm going to stick with internet porn."
-Screen switches channel-
-Credits Roll-
-Bonus Clip-
"The Doctor" from the hit british TV series "Dr. Who" starts to walk up to the TARDIS as the man from before exits it. The Doctor opens up the TARDIS and gasps.
The Doctor: "Oh my god!... AGAIN!"