"Hey porter! Hey porter!

Would you tell me the time?

How much longer will it be till we cross that Mason Dixon Line?"

-Johnny Cash

"Wit and playfulness represent a desperately serious transcendence of evil. Humor is both a form of wisdom and a means of survival."

- Tom Robbins

Clementine was not thrilled at the prospect of riding in a truck for the next 25 or so minutes with a possible murderer. Granted, Lee was a murderer, but Mary wasn't Lee and the girl had limited success with female guardians so far. However, it was a long ride to have in silence, and Mary seemed harmless enough. Overly chatty and a little sad but harmless.

"What did you do before the outbreak?"

Mary replied as she swerved around a walker, "I worked part-time as an Infectious Disease Specialist for a private organization. I mostly specialized in Virology though" The woman noticed the blank stare that the girl was giving her and Mary explained, "I studied viruses and how they effected the human body."

"So, you were a doctor?" Clementine found that interesting. Other than Kaatja and Carlos, she hadn't met many doctors. She kind of figured they probably mostly got eaten due to trying to help everyone.

"Sort of? I had my bachelors in Microbiology but was planning on getting my masters and later my doctorate while working for the company. They had a program to put people through school."

Clementine didn't understand what Microbiology was but nodded anyways, "Cool. What do you think the walkers have?"

Mary looked at Clementine curiously "Walkers?"

"The dead people. Why, what do you call them?"

"Biters...what do you call the ones that run?"

Clementine glared at her, with her arms crossed over her chest, and huffed "They're just walkers, alright? Why do you call them biters?" As soon as she saw the look of absolute glee on Mary's face she realized what she had done and regretted it "Shut up..."

Mary grinned at the little girl, "Because they fly of course, isn't it obvious?"

"Shut Up."

The woman chuckled, "I'm teasing you Clem. Back to your earlier question, I'm not sure what the walkers have. I personally think it might be a variant of rabies or a fungus similar to Ophiocordyceps unilateralis but it could be something entirely new."

What and why was this woman? What were these words? WHAT DID IT MEAN.

Mary sighed when she noticed Clementine's confusion, "Sorry, I keep forgetting you're a kid...It's a fungus that effects ants and knows exactly where its host's brain is, controls it, and makes the ants bite each other. I remember a friend of mine being afraid that the fungus would become able to cross over to humans but even so, it shouldn't be able kill people and then bring them back to life. So my money is on a new disease."

"Oh."

There was a long period of silence after this.

Finally Clementine blurted out what had been eating on her mind since Mary led her out of the store, "Why are you helping me?"

Mary chewed on her lip thoughtfully before answering, "Because it was right. Because you're a kid and alone. Because if it were me I'd want someone's help. There's a lot of reasons why I'd help but those are the first three."

Clementine said in a quiet old voice, "People aren't like that anymore and they get killed when they are. You shouldn't be like that." Lee was like that, Luke was too, and look how they ended up. It didn't exactly increase Clementine's faith in selflessness.

The woman stared at her for a long time and appeared to be struggling for an answer. She finally sighed, "Maybe so."

The little girl looked at Mary in surprise. From what little she knew, Mary seemed to be the type to argue her point.

"But that doesn't mean I'm going to spend the rest of my time here, however long that is, just looking out for myself and hurting others. I traveled that road and it doesn't lead to anything good, ya know? If I have to die, I want to die knowing I did everything I could to fix things."

That's crazy. This woman is crazy. "That's crazy."

"Then I'll die crazy too. I'm chill with that."

Clementine shook her head and then looked closely at Mary's hair. It was a very pretty mousy brown and was done in a braid "You should cut that. A walker or bandit could grab it."

"I know I just haven't been able to get a pair of new scissors. I stabbed a man with my only pair last month and couldn't pull them out of his chest."

"Ew."

"Yeah, he screamed quite a lot and then got eaten by walkers. Lovely stuff."

Clementine tried not to snicker at Mary's deadpan tone and said, "You know, I could cut it. I have scissors. We could pull over and do it now! There's no point in putting if off. Also I REALLY want to play with it."

"Hmmm...Alright. Just don't cut my throat with them."

After pulling over onto a dirt drive and the pair climbing into the bed of the truck, Clementine set to work on Mary's hair. It was wavy and soft and the girl found herself feeling sorry it had to go. It was quite pretty.

A few minutes passed and Mary jokingly asked, "So, were you a hairdresser before? Because if so, your talents leave MUCH to be desired."

"No but I did want to be either a dog groomer or a vet. I like animals."

Mary asked, "So where did you live? I kind of imagine you as living out in a boxcar, like in the Boxcar Children series or being like Pippi Longstocking..."

Clementine giggled in spite of herself, "I'm from outside of Atlanta, Georgia. Where were you from? You don't sound American but you do...Does that make sense?"

"It does since I'm originally I'm from Lancashire, England. I moved to America when I was eleven after my parents divorced and I spent the rest of my growing up years in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. Then I moved out to Macon to be closer to my work around three years ago. So...Yeah, I sound pretty fucking weird." She laughed slightly at the end of this admission.

"Where did you work in Macon? I didn't know they even HAD a lab there." Not that Clementine would have known but it did seem odd a lab would be in MACON of all places.

"I worked in a private lab near the Meriwether County Correctional Facility."

Clementine finished cutting Mary's hair and gave her a small hand mirror, "Why would a lab be near a jail?"

Mary examined her haircut and replied vaguely, "Reasons."

The little girl opened her mouth to further question Mary, when she noticed what appeared to be a walker covered in blood running down the dirt road at them, "Shit Mary!"

The woman took one look at their pursuer, jumped out of the bed of the truck, and ran towards the driver's side "BOOK IT CLEM!"

Clementine followed Mary and just made it to the passenger door when the person grabbed her and screamed, "Please, Please help me!"

The passenger door opened and Mary yanked Clementine up into the cab away from the person, while pointing Clem's gun at her attacker, "Back the fuck off my kid!"

"Wait I know her! She's from Howe's!"

"What, seriously?"

"Yeah! I think her names Becca?"

Becca nodded with tears streaming down her face "Yes! Please just help my sister, they're hurting her!"

Clementine and Mary looked at each other. Mary nodded firmly "Right. Becca stay here with Clem, I'll go help your sister" She hopped out of the cab and instructed the youngest girl "There's a first aid kit in the glovebox, check her over for anything serious."

"Okay! Take my gun, its better than that bat."

After Mary left into the woods next to the dirt driveway, Clementine wondered why she was always left in Charge.