A/N: Edward's infatuation with Bella follows similar rules as imprinting. I decided to go with canon characters as this is my first attempt writing for Twilight fans. I do not follow canon timelines/introductions but do attempt to emulate canon character behaviour. The story is set in 1889. Constructive criticism/encouragement welcome.
This chapter was updated 19th Aug 2014. The formatting fails to save as I leave it, sorry about that.
A special thank you to my fantastic beta reader icul8ter and to Jlbrew25 for some much appreciated guidance.
Disclaimer: The Twilight world belongs to Stephenie Meyer.
Warning: Contains Pagan overtones, angst, NON-sexual spanking of a minor/teen, swearing and parental themes. Rated T as some of my views, and the views of this era, may offend.
Chapter Two: A Rotten Day.
CPOV: "Bella love, can you open your eyes for me?" I asked cautiously. A patient's reaction to anaesthetic was never predictable, not that I minded being attacked, it was their distress that concerned me.
She blinked attempting to shake from her haze and focused on the toy peering from my pocket,
"Edward, he does look lonely…" she agreed, reaching up at the pencil. "Where is that boy, umm your other Edward? You weren't mad at him were you, because it weren't his fault, honest!"
"It was not," I corrected the English automatically, while continuing my post op. Despite maintaining a calm exterior her protective tone had taken me by surprise, so much that I failed to detect the acrid smell of bile surrounding us; I was quick but she was quicker.
"Argh! Nice shooting, kid," said the orderly who had chosen precisely the wrong moment to reach across and raise the bed-rail.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean-mean-it, don't be mad," she coughed, straining to push herself upright. Placing the now redundant basin aside, I stripped the sheet with one hand while holding her down with the other.
"You are alright, sweetheart, nobody is mad at you." I soothed, "Lay back carefully now and try to relax for me, alright? Deep breaths." I led by example and moments later she drifted out once again.
"This is an order for an anti-emetic," I explained, passing a small piece of paper to the vomit-slathered orderly," would you see that ICU gets this as soon as she arrives. I will be there shortly," I whispered, and leant over to brush a stray lock from her forehead; she was certainly no ordinary child that much was clear.
The rustic smell of stale parchment and dust filled my lungs as I flipped through the surprisingly large file on Isabella Swan. How could one individual be so prone to chaos? I thought.
Irritated that I hadn't the time to finish I skipped to the most recent: 1889: Admitted by Sister Mary Erin of the church orphanage at 0400 March 23rd. Presents with: fever 39, nausea, diarrhoea and mid-line stomach pain. Diagnosis pending Dr Joseph Miller's conformation. Suspected AP. Surgery booked 0700 March 23rd.
Well at least that explains Joseph, they were desperate! Triage nurses were rarely off the mark and were not picky which doctor confirmed a diagnosis if it was deemed critical. I folded the bulky file in two and stuffed it into my coat pocket for further reading.
EPOV: Thankfully escaping the staffroom was not as awkward as I expected; hospital staff were given minimal handover time and I was out the window before anyone noticed. The walk home did little to clear my head and I was still brooding as I stood motionless, staring blankly at a stream of sunlight pouring through our lounge room window. I wasn't angry at Carlisle, he was a fair man and had more patience than anyone I knew, no, what consumed me was not a disappointed coven leader, but Isabella. Was she safe, had the surgery been successful? I mean, Carlisle is a brilliant surgeon, but he does not wield a wand! Was this some sort of karmic fate? What if my interference had somehow led to her death?
"Lad, please, you're killing me here. Go for a run or something," Jasper commented. His ability to sense and manipulate emotions often left the man susceptible to those around him; my anxiety would have been suffocating.
"Oh, sorry Jaz, I'll rein it in," I replied sympathetically. In hindsight I should have sensed his discomfort, and no doubt Jasper would have sent several warnings before concern forced him to verbalise. As it was however, my thoughts were far from focused on the moment. He peered at me from behind his paper and raised a quizzical brow.
"I would go," I stated defensively, "but I'm supposed to wait for Carlisle."
Jasper smirked, "What did you do this time?" he enquired his tone nonchalant.
"I sort of almost, well, I don't know. It's too hard to explain!"
Jasper placed the paper aside, his attention now focused on my unexpected agitation.
"Try," he insisted.
"No! Damn it, Jasper, just back the hell off. I said I don't want to talk about it and I meant it!" I retorted, striding for the door.
Before I'd had a chance to look up Jasper was out of his chair and blocking my path, both arms held casually behind his back. I bristled at his passive stance, it was almost like he was framing the fact that he could pound me with both hands tied behind his back, something he'd proven on countless occasions during combat training.
"I did not deserve that," he stated flatly, "and besides, when did you grow a set of stones big enough to curse around Pa?" he enquired. "You're braver man than I."
Pa? But. Crap! I cringed. I'd been so self-absorbed that I had failed to sense Carlisle's presence which was now flashing at me like a beacon. I did not plan to stick around and find out if he'd heard what I said; instead I edged my way towards the other door hoping to make it out before he entered.
I should be so lucky!
"Jasper! Do not be so uncouth, it is unbecoming and you know better," Carlisle shot his eldest a disapproving frown before turning it on me.
"As for you, young man, I suggest you apologise to your brother and hope that we are still out of soap," he warned as he moved to mediate.
I did not need to be told twice, the look on his face was far from comforting; my Father loathed cursing.
"I'm-sorry-Jasper, " I said with as much contrition as I could muster. Truth be told, I wasn't feeling sorry at all, I was still annoyed and Jasper knew it.
"No, you're not, but you will be," he warned, before glancing at Carlisle. "Is he grounded?"
Carlisle shook his head once, his disapproving expression still shifting between the two of us.
"Meet me by the river at twilight, it's about time we stepped up your training."
I grimaced at his thoughts, fighting had never been my strong suit and despite trying every trick in the book to wriggle my way out of it, Carlisle insisted that we learn for our own safety. "Come on, Jasper, be reasonable we trained yesterday, I'm still aching!" I lied, it was a long shot but I had to try. Neither of them bought it.
"Twilight." he repeated, ignoring my protest.
I huffed and turned to leave the room, one thing was certain I wasn't planning on being anywhere near that river at twilight!
"Oh and, Edward?" Jasper added as if sensing my stubbornness, "if I have to find you, and I will find you, you will truly ache before we train."
"Yes, Sir" I replied, but did not turn to face him. Jasper was Carlisle's second in command and not someone you wanted to antagonise. For twenty-one years old he was a tough mentor and an even tougher disciplinarian, and there was no doubt whatsoever that he would follow through with the implied threat should I choose to test it.
"Go and change, you need to hunt," my Father instructed. I nodded curtly and blurred up the stairs.
Thankfully there had been only a tiny slither of soap left which I knew Carlisle would not waste. The reprieve was short lived however, as I entered the kitchen to find my Father's tidy penmanship heading the top page of a small pile.
'I will not disrespect my home and family with the use of foul language.' "Two pages front and back by morning," he said ignoring my groan. Jasper smirked from behind his paper.
"Something amusing you, Son?" Carlisle enquired while drying off a second page, this one read:
"I am old enough to know better and should strive to set a good example." But before Jasper could protest, Carlisle was busy adding another sentence to the first: "Like gravity, karma is so basic we often fail to notice it." He handed it to him. "Three pages, front and back by morning," I expect better from you," he admonished.
"Yes, Sir," Jasper growled quietly. Carlisle knew it was hard for his eldest to accept such juvenile forms of discipline, although finding ways to truly punish a Vampire without violence was no easy task, and therefore the prime reason why many coven leaders favoured death and mutilation instead.
The hunt had been a silent affair, but satisfying nonetheless, and despite knowing it was not intentional, I did not like his use of the silent treatment. I recoiled slightly at being denied his thoughts, at least that much I knew was intentional. He must have been contemplating how to respond after such a disastrous day, first the hospital then the whole Jasper debacle, what a mess! When I could bare it no longer I brought my stride to a halt, a booted toe digging up clods of mud for emphasis.
"Carlisle, look, I'm sorry for cursing at Jasper, and I'm sorry about this morning. If I had listened to you in the first place none of this would have happened," I took a deep breath before continuing. "Will you just punish me and feed me to Jasper, because I can't stand the silent treatment any longer." My words were far too quick for human ears, although my coven leader heard every syllable. He stopped abruptly, turned to face me and leaned heavily into a mossy stump. Vampires had no need to lean, sit or even breathe for that matter, but most did so out of habit. My Father's expression was resolute yet tinged with sadness as he beckoned me to close the fifteen foot gap separating us. A strong gust of wind soughed though the dense forest surrounding us and send an ominous chill up my spine as I reluctantly obeyed. I now seriously regretted having brought this on sooner rather than later! That said, his thoughts were now open and they surprised me, it was not anger I saw but sadness, and not for the reasons that I'd expected.
CPOV: Arms across my chest I shot the boy a stern look. "Edward, what you call me in private is your decision and I will always respect that, but you will not presume to demand anything of me, nor will you speak to me in such a manner. Do you understand?" My voice was calm yet firm and left no room for argument. Unable to meet my gaze the boy nodded mutely.
"I do not expect you to consider me as your father, rather, I had hoped that someday you would," I allowed my pride in him to linger for a moment longer before moving on. "As you are probably aware, Isabella is recovering well and should be up and walking by tomorrow." Edward was visibly relieved to have confirmation and was about to speak when I held up a hand to silence him, "I believe there is more to discuss than your response to Isabella. Lately it would appear the greater your trouble, the further you distance yourself." I straightened up, leaving my place by the tree. "We are more than a coven, Son, we are a family and no matter what the catastrophe we will always be here for you."
"I know," he replied indignantly.
I raised a brow at the tone and held up a warning finger. "This is not an attack on your character, you should not be defensive," my expression hardened slightly as I took in his sour expression. "Regardless of your feelings, I brought you into this life and like it or not you are my responsibility, therefore, when I give you an order I expect compliance."
Shoving both hands into his pockets Edward frowned down at his mud coated boots. "I did not mean to sound defensive" he confessed, choosing his words carefully before meeting my gaze, "and you will always be my Father, in many ways more than any human man could. I do not detach out of spite, but from shame!" he admitted. "I don't deserve anyone's love, I am a soulless abomination. This morning was simply conformation of this and the actions of, of a monster! And as if that isn't enough for one day I must now endure your disappointment AND I also have a night of being thrown, booted and generally brutalised by 'Major-Pain-in-my-Behind' Whitlock to look forward to!" he rambled, each word plunging him deeper into self-pity.
I smirked at the latter; the lad certainly had a flair for dramatics. "Yes, I am disappointed in your behaviour today," I affirmed, "however, you know very well that you are not a product of your race, gender or species, you are what you decide to be. You choose to suppress the instinct to kill because you do not want to be a monster, this is a choice and not an easy one to uphold. I am proud of your dedication to our lifestyle, Edward, we have discussed it many times before. I understand it is not easy living with such abominable instincts but the fact that you make the effort counts!
Edward sighed before nodding. "I guess," he conceded half-heartedly.
"Son, for what it's worth, I believe our vegetarian lifestyle makes us more human in comparison. Companionship, support and love are not common amongst our kind; we do not generally survive well in groups, yet our family continues to grow. As for your evening's plans," I paused for moment and ran a hand through my hair, "just be grateful your brother sensed genuine confusion, otherwise he may not have been so forgiving." The boy flinched at my thoughts. "And speaking of forgiveness, I want to talk to you about this negative, self-deprecating attitude of yours. Self-pity is not an emotion immortals should indulge in, we have eternity to come up with reasons to hate ourselves so do not make them your focus. Negativity breeds negativity," I cautioned. "You are your own worst enemy and far harder on yourself than Jasper or I could ever be." I shot the boy an indulgent smile, "enough is enough, no more, alright?"
"I know, I am trying but, what if there is no after life for our kind, what if we are damned? I don't know that I could live with myself. Moreover I am completely inconsiderate and egocentric to a degree that almost borders on disease," he paced, pausing every now and then to take in my expression. "I shouldn't have taken my frustration out on Jasper, he was simply trying to figure out where the 'flood' was coming from, it wasn't his fault," he sighed wearily. "I hate what I am."
Ok, so that was unexpected. I knew my youngest had been overly introspective of late but I had not realised he harboured such guilt. I knew first-hand what misery immortality could bring should you allow such thoughts to take hold, with that in mind I chose my words carefully. I would not lie but nor did I feel it wise to indulge him either. "It is true, by all other accounts we are damned, but I like to think, perhaps foolishly so, that we receive some measure of credit for trying," I replied optimistically. "As for being a bad person, I do not believe that for a second. We all have bad days, Son, Jasper knows this better than any of us. For the good, guilt is not easy to purge however in this case I believe a heartfelt apology will suffice, although I do strongly suggest leaving out titles like: "Major-pain-in-my- behind Whitlock" as I doubt that will win you any favours," I took in his sombre nod with a sigh. I did not want to be harsh with the boy, but nor could I risk pandering to this sulky behaviour. "Alright, Edward, ordinarily you'd know what to expect now, however considering Jasper has decided to torture you with combat training this evening I will let this morning's disobedience pass with a warning," I straightened to full height, both my hands gripping his shoulders to ensure complete attention. "Do not make me regret this decision, Son," I warned, "and make no mistake should you choose to defy me again the consequences shall make training with Jasper feel like a reprieve, is that clear?"
"Yes, Sir, I promise" he assured me. Despite the obvious relief, Edward knew he was on thin ice and that I could not allow disobedience to become habit. Our coven was not a tyranny and I was no tyrant! I loved my family dearly and would do whatever was in my power to protect them, even if that meant sometimes protecting them from themselves.
"I don't deserve your love or a family, but I'm sure if Jasper doesn't rip me apart and burn the pieces I can get something right and manage to follow basic instr-uctions…." Edward froze mid rant as I began to unfasten a cuff and methodically folded my sleeve.
"Edward, what did I just say about indulging in a self-deprecating attitude?" The question was rhetorical, yet he stammered to produce an answer before being stopped short. "If you are not capable of absolving such negativity and guilt alone, I will get you started." I placed my foot on a fallen stump and sighed, I truly loathed this aspect of my responsibility.
"No! I'm. Please, Dad. I promise I'll work through it. I don't need any help getting started," he implored, his voice thick with compunction as he backed away.
I eyed him sceptically, he rarely called me Dad and I struggled to remain firm at hearing the endearment. "Son, this may be more necessary than deserved, but you were told not five minutes ago to lose the negative attitude, now come here." I brushed the dust from my trousers as he moved to stand facing my bent leg and removed his belt. His eyes did not meet mine as he folded the leather in two and held it out, his expression piteous. I was not planning on belting the boy; having him remove it was more of a safety measure reminiscent of my human years than anything else. "Edward, tell me what you could have done to avoid this?" I asked curtly as he reluctantly leant across my thigh.
"I — I should, ha - have…. Please, Father, please don't." He begged, twisting slightly as I gripped the waist band of his trousers and yanked the thin material tightly across his backside.
"Incorrect," I replied evenly and landed a blistering smack that send every creature within half a mile scattering for cover.
"OW! OWWW!" he bellowed, his breathing unnecessarily ragged as he focused on remaining still. "I should, argh-hurts-SOMUCH! H-have stopped berating myself and being negative!" he summarised.
"No, I do not expect you to snap your fingers and change, but I do expect you to at least make an effort: you barely lasted five minutes, that's hardly what I consider the behaviour of someone who truly considered my directions," I replied evenly.
He sighed in reply and allowed his torso to hang limp in defeat, I assumed this meant he was actually thinking about it this time, so without further delay I angled him forward slightly to mete out the intended six. When I was forced to take one of my own to task, I set out to make absolutely certain they would not find themselves here again anytime soon. I did not permit pleading, thrashing around or excessive histrionics, unfortunately this was a lesson they had all learned the hard way. Edward's wails amplified with each solid smack of my palm until eventually they became one agonised howl that tore mercilessly at my resolve.
I allowed his sobs to persist for a minute or so before taking him by the collar and hauling him up to stand facing my leg once again. "I suggest dropping the self-pity for a while if I were you, because if I hear it again today I will make it my personal mission to spend each morning demonstrating exactly how much I do care. Such thoughts are destructive and bring nothing but misery to you and those who love you. Do you understand?" He nodded mutely, his hands trembling by his sides as he fought the urge to rub. "Very well," I said with a note of finality and crouched to swipe his belt from the ground, "is there anything you would like to discuss before we lose our privacy?" I questioned sympathetically, handing his belt back. Now I would permit debate.
"No. I'm sorry, Dad. I am just having a rotten day it will pass," he confessed, wincing slightly as he replaced his belt.
Now that was the Edward I knew! "Good lad, I'm proud of you," I encouraged, pleased to see a combination of hunting and a little parental guidance had provided the boost necessary to start him off. Spanking was where I drew the line on physically punishing my family, and even then I was rarely required to give more than ten swats to get my point across. I glanced up at the darkening sky and shot him a sympathetic look. "You best be heading home, Jasper will be expecting you soon. We will discuss everything when Alice has returned."
"Yes, Sir," he replied and a split second later he was gone.
Today had been hard on everyone, and I could use a little privacy myself. There was much to consider. If my suspicions were correct and Edward had in fact imprinted on the child, how on earth would the rest of the family respond to her involvement? So far I was the only one completely immune to her scent, but this was not unusual and hardly significant. Then there was Edward himself, imprinted or not he was still our youngest, would he be capable of controlling himself with such temptation living under the same roof?
I sighed heavily and shifted my weight forward, to anyone watching I would have looked like an oddly preoccupied statue that someone had uprooted and angled precariously towards a face plant! Not good, Carlisle, get it together! I could not allow such lapses, it risked drawing unwanted attention. Not that I could sense anyone close by, besides, Edward's wails would have persuaded anyone within a mile radius to find another way to get where they were going. I shook my head, we were due to relocate soon, perhaps a fresh start would help our family in more ways than one.