Batman's perspective:
Batman had made it back to the Batcave. He picked up his alter ego's phone and called Dick Grayson, alias Robin.
"I was studying, but I'm glad to talk," said Dick. "What's up?" Batman frowned. Dick's next test wasn't anytime soon. Plus, Batman knew that this wasn't Dick's usual hard-at-work tone.
"Sorry to interrupt your game," said Batman, "But I was just attacked by no less than seven archcriminals."
"Oh my God," Dick now was speaking in a hard-working tone. "I'll be right down."
Dick arrived in less than three minutes. "It was The Joker, Riddler, Harley Quinn, Penguin, Killer Croc, Scarecrow, and Poison Ivy," explained Batman. "They're calling themselves The Malevolent Seven."
"I don't mean to sound negative..." began a worried Robin.
"Spit it out," allowed Batman. "Only a coward or a fool ignores his weaknesses."
"Don't you feel a little outnumbered?"
"There's a reason I retreated. Fear not, Robin. If we can find out who they're working with, we can trap them."
"What makes you think anybody else is behind this?"
"Think, Robin! Except for The Penguin, they're madpeople. They don't play well with others. And even he was struggling to keep them on the same page for the escape. There has to be another rancher herding these dangerous animals."
"Someone who hates us, Batman. Might wanna call out for pizza; it's gonna be awhile!"
"Not really. I can think of only three people who might be capable of controlling the maniacs and who might go to all this trouble: Lex Luthor, Becky "The Hog" Traylor, and Ra's al Ghul. But I think only one of them is in Gotham City."
Driving to town, Batman and Robin stood watch a distance outside Country Buffet, a restaurant owned by the Traylor crime family. Al Traylor, brother of The Hog, finally got in his car to drive home. Soon enough, the Batmobile was trailing him. To the surprise of the Dynamic Duo, Al pulled over and got out of his car.
"My old 'pals,'" said Al, "The flyin' varmints."
"What do you know about The Penguin and the six other archcriminals who have been sprung from Arkham?" asked Batman.
"Ah know that you're in deep she-ut," smiled Al. A right cross from Batman had Al leaning onto his car to stay upright.
"Wrong answer," threatened Batman. "He's still not in what I'd call a bad mood," Robin remarked.
"The good cop/bad cop routine don't work on me," snorted Al. "Ah'd rather die than betray my family, and Ah know you freaks don't ever go that far!"
"To the Batmobile," said Batman. He and Robin drove away again.
"On the plus side," Batman reviewed the situation, "At least we know the Traylors are involved. Why else would he talk about not betraying them? Unfortunately, trapping their psychotic friends won't be as simple as I'd hoped."
Commissioner Gordon's perspective:
James Gordon was almost dressed. "Are you dressed yet?" he called to Barbara Gordon.
"Of course, Dad," said a slightly annoyed Barbara. "I wish you wouldn't treat me like a child. I'm about to turn eighteen."
Old habits die hard. Gordon heard the doorbell. He opened the door to find Al and Joey Traylor, a prominent father and son in that crime family.
"Come along," commanded Al.
"You're gonna be Batbait," taunted Joey, which got him slapped by Al's free hand.
"Don't you reveal our plans, boy," said Al. "Someone might be watchin'."
"Nobody's watchin' nothin', Dad."
"Don't you 'Dad' me, young..."
"Who's that?" asked Gordon's son, Jimmy.
"Federal workers," Gordon reassured Jimmy. If he or Barbara knew who these unwanted guests were, they'd be kidnapped as well. "They say I missed a tax payment. They're taking me to sort things out."
"Oh," said Jimmy. "OK."
Al and Joey both nodded approvingly as they lead Gordon to their car. Joey drove, while Al still held Gordon at gunpoint in the back.
"Don't fret, old man," said Al quietly. "We don't get violent unless we have to. Don't make this difficult and nothin' physical will happen to you."
"'Physical?'" Gordon suspected that there was more to this.
"You're gonna be bait for Bats and if he comes along, Robin," explained Al. "Watch your step around your hosts, OK? They don't do Southern hospitality... or any other kind."
Barbara's perspective:
Barbara was ready to go to school. She came to the living room, backpack strapped on, only to see that her father wasn't there.
"Where's dad?" she asked.
"He messed up on his taxes," said little brother Jimmy. "Two gub'ment guys took him away to fix them."
That certainly didn't sound like their father. "That can't be," said Barbara. "He's meticulous. He can't confirm something you want him to buy without waiting for him to check if he can afford it. Not that he's cheap or anything, just good."
"Then who was it?" asked Jimmy.
"I know who it is," said Barbara. "The Batman was attacked by no less than seven archcriminals yesterday. I think they've kidnapped Dad to make Batman fight on their terms." Pity Batgirl didn't know at the time. She was in class and couldn't have any idea.
"We gotta call the police," said Jimmy.
Barbara disagreed but thought the better of arguing. Batgirl could certainly help. But Barbara couldn't. To maintain her secret identity, Barbara had to leave it to the boys in blue. "You're right," she said.
Robin's perspective:
This was a scary time. He and Batman were badly outnumbered and they hadn't been able to intimidate the Traylors out of aiding The Malevolent Seven. What were they going to do?
Robin looked at Batman. If he had any fear, it was well-hidden. How did he do it? He was a great man. Humorless and rough, yes, but still great.
Less than thirty seconds into the drive to Gotham, Batman and Robin saw the Batsignal. "No doubt about what we're doing anyway," said Robin.
"You don't know that," said Batman. "If it's not about The Malevolent Seven, then we can't just overlook other criminals. We answer. That was an irresponsible answer on your part."
Robin sighed. Batman was right. I miss my early days when Batman would give me a break because I was a rookie.
They ascended to the roof of the main GCPD headquarters, but it wasn't Commissioner Gordon waiting for them, but Lieutenant Marc Freeman, holding a disc in his right hand. "Is the Commissioner well?" asked Batman, startling Freeman.
"Jim's right," said Freeman. "You do love scaring the Hell out of people."
"Hey, we need to practice somehow before we go after street vermin," Robin defended himself and his partner.
"The Commissioner's been kidnapped," lamented Freeman.
"By who?" asked Batman.
"A group of criminals calling themselves The Malevolent Seven," explained Freeman. "This disc contains the ultimatum but if you don't follow the terms, I understand."
"Why?" asked Batman.
"Listen, without police help, you two don't stand a chance against that many of them. There are casualties in law enforcement, just like war. He knew when he enlisted so many years ago that it might come to this. It has."
"Maybe, but we're not giving up on him. Take no action on this matter until you hear from us. We don't give up on people. Understand?"
"Yes."
Batgirl's perspective:
Good thing Barbara Gordon had begun packing up her Batgirl mask, cape, gloves, and wearing the rest of the costume underneath her clothes. The police had told her and Jimmy to not go home but to a friend or relatives' house. They had gone to their uncle and aunts' house. Barbara said she had to run an errand and talked the uncle and aunt out of coming.
Before that, though, Barbara had to spend a couple hours consoling Jimmy. He was a poor, frightened boy who was afraid he was going to lose his father they way he'd lost his mother. But while all he could do was hope for the best, The Batgirl could do something about it. Hang tight, Jimmy. I'll find a way to get him back or die trying!
That was just it. Even if Batgirl had any clues or a vehicle to make travel fast, she was outnumbered. She had seen the video that confirmed that no less than seven archcriminals were involved. She had to find The Batman and Robin. Seven against three was pretty bad odds, but maybe The Dark Knight, Dark Lady, and Boy Wonder could take one or two of the scum buckets with them.
"Hold it," a stern female voice called. Batgirl turned to her left rear diagonal to see a women in purple and violet, her identity concealed by a hooded cloak and domino mask. Unlike Batgirl, this person looked to be well into adulthood, but significantly younger than Batman.
"The Huntress, I presume?" asked Batgirl. She wasn't sure about this person. She used violent means to take care of criminals. She'd even killed a guy.
"And you're The Batgirl," said The Huntress. "Don't look at me like that. I don't want to fight you. I want to fight with you against The Malevolent Seven."
"How do you know I'm after them?"
"I don't need a Batcomputer to know they're probably connected to the kidnapping of the police Commissioner a day after they almost killed Batman."
She must not have known that Batgirl was an independent crimefighter who didn't know who Batman and Robin were, nor they her. "Good guess," said Batgirl.
"I see you didn't bring a Bat-whatever to drive," said The Huntress. A high school student with no job except during summers, and that was always part-time, couldn't really afford one. Batgirl kept staring at The Huntress.
"I've got a motorcycle down below," offered Huntress. "Room for one more. Let's see if we can't find the guys."
A much as Batgirl knew she was going to love working with another female crimefighter for a change, she had to lay down a ground rule. Upon touching down to the sidewalk, Batgirl said, "Just don't get violent, Huntress" during the walk to the Huntress-themed motorcycle. "We don't use excessive force."
The Huntress turned towards Batgirl and moved in close. Batgirl gulped. The Huntress looked to be six feet tall and weigh at least one fifty - very large for a woman! And she had a crossbow and attitude. Batgirl didn't like her chances in a fight.
"You don't give orders here, kid," declared Huntress. "As the adult here, I think you're under my supervision. Actually, you can call me 'ma'am.' On the bike!" Batgirl did as she was told. She clearly didn't have it in her to keep The Huntress in line. Maybe not even Batman could.
The Huntress turned the accelerator of her motorcycle. "Since the Batsignal's out," suggested Batgirl, "We should start looking at the main police station, Hun... ma'am."
"You catch on fast," complimented Huntress. So much for girl talk.
Batman's perspective:
The monitor of the Batmobile's Batnavicomputer could also be used for watching video and had a disc slot directly below it. Batman put in the disc he had obtained from Lt. Freeman so he and Robin could see what the scum buckets had to say.
"Hello to our old friends: Freeman, Montoya, the fat guy, and most importantly, Guano Man and The Brat Wonder," insulted The Joker.
"I know you've missed this, but no longer," said Poison Ivy, feeling up and down her body.
"Who are about to face impossible odds?" The Riddler gave his easiest riddle.
"Let's show Batman and Robin their other dance partners," said Ivy. With that, The Riddler seemed to walk towards the screen and disappear as he moved the camera or phone (Batman couldn't tell which was used) around to show Harley Quinn cooking an early dinner, The Scarecrow handling his fear-based toxins, and The Penguin playing poker with Killer Croc.
"I've lost as much as I can afford to," said Penguin.
"Best poker player in the Global Rasslin' Federation," boasted Croc.
"Best among frauds, eh?" asked an unimpressed Penguin.
Croc picked Penguin up by the tuxedo lapels. "I'll show you how fake I am!"
"Play nice, boys," said Ivy.
"We're together in this," agreed The Joker, motioning to his suit flower. "Finish your game civilly or this pretty rose will cut something - and I'm not talking about cards!" Croc put Penguin down. In return, Penguin gave Croc the money he'd won.
"That's how partygoers should behave," said Joker, putting on a party hat. "Still one more to show our friends." Joker, Riddler, and Ivy took the recording upstairs and into a room where Gordon lay tied to a bed.
"Our guest of honor," praised The Joker.
"You boys have until dawn to prove that you're more than apologists for the planet-destroying government," said Ivy "No police. We've enough in attendance."
"Yes," agreed Joker. "Gordon hates uninvited guests. I fear he'll disappear forever if other cops show up." Joker laughed and laughed. "Disappear. That's a good one." He returned to laughing.
"He's nuts," said Robin.
"But we knew that already," said Batman.
When The Joker finally calmed down, The Riddler said, "I'll let you figure out where we are, Batman. How is a ladies' man a piece to this puzzle." The recording ended.
"He's got a lot of wood," Robin immediately guessed.
"I know," said Batman. "That's an easy one to figure out. It looked like a cabin. And where are cabins?"
"Too easy?" asked Robin.
"No," Batman put a finer point to it. "Much too easy. This is a trap."
"Do we have a choice?"
"No. If we don't go - and without police - the Commissioner dies at dawn."
"Seven against two. And they're prepared."
"You don't want to know what the odds are."
"Probably not."
"I should take you home. This is too dangerous."
"It's too dangerous for you, Batman. I don't want to spend the rest of my life wondering if I could've made a difference. I'd rather die trying."
Batman thought. He knew that shouldn't have let Robin come, but after losing his parents, he'd been through enough tragedy. "All right," said Batman.
"You're the best guardian in the world!"
"No, the best guardian would keep you out of this, but I'm mediocre. Just one thing: be positive. There's always a chance. Got that?" Robin nodded.
After a bit of driving, a motorcycle with two costumed women on it pulled up. Batman hit the breaks and opened the Batmobile's front shield.
"What are you ladies doing here?" asked Batman.
"Spoken like a man's man who's afraid to ask for directions," joked Batgirl. "Hi, Robin."
"Hi," responded Robin.
"On a more serious note," said The Huntress, "We're here to even the odds."
"Seven against four and a trap that I have reason to believe that they have sprung isn't my idea of even odds," said Batman.
"Better than seven against two," argued Batgirl.
"What are the odds now?" asked Robin.
"Almost one in four," said Batman.
"I'm ready when you are," grinned Batgirl.
"Just one little catch," said Batman. "I know who you are, Huntress. And that you use excessive force."
"I'm sorry, Batman," apologized Batgirl. "I tried to make her understand, but... she's the boss."
"Damn straight," The Huntress said proudly. "As for the scum, I never gave them anything they didn't deserve. And before you say they didn't, I've known a few of their kind outside this costume. I don't have to look at any of your three smooth faces to know that you can't say the same."
Batman was willing to acknowledge that. "Just don't kill anyone. You do that on this mission, you're going up the river with The Malevolent Seven."
"All right," said Huntress. "Until this is over, I'll agree to your terms." But Batman wasn't so sure that she had any intention of keeping that promise. Long odds and a need to watch a sadistic comrade in arms. But whoever said fighting crime was easy?
Eventually, they found a cabin with no less than three cars parked outside. Hiding their vehicles in the surrounding forest, Batman, Robin, Batgirl, and The Huntress began watching. Didn't look like any members of The Malevolent Seven were outside.
"First things first," planned Batman. "We need to get Gordon out of here. I remember the recording well enough to have a pretty good idea of where he might be."
Because stealth was so important, Batman extracted the grappling hook from his Batgrapple and threw it above the window to the room where Commissioner Gordon was being held. Batman climbed up, opened the window, and entered the room, with his allies close behind.
"You have to leave," whispered Gordon. "It's a trap."
"I know," whispered Batman. He reached for a Batarang and used it to start cutting a rope when the door to the room opened. Poison Ivy came in holding a potted plant with a mutant flower whose vine "arms" tied the four rescuers together.
"What a beautifully photographic moment," Ivy mocked. Batman would have started cutting arms off, but The Joker's suit flower, Penguin's umbrella gun, and the ordinary pistols of The Riddler and Harley Quinn were aimed at the costumed heroes.
"Guess you can't say this was that unfair at five against four, eh, Batsy?" asked Joker.
"Scarecrow and Croc should be a part of this," said The Penguin.
"Agreed," concurred Ivy. "Let's go."
"If they don't live..." began Gordon.
"Don't worry," laughed Joker. "Your fun's still coming, old timer. Be patient."
Batman, Batgirl, Robin, and The Huntress were taken down the stairs, still bound together.
"Looky what we caught, mateys," said The Joker in a sailor's accent.
Croc cheered. "I do believe this is your worst fear of all," taunted The Scarecrow.
"Before we do anything else..." The Riddler got a butcher knife out of a kitchen drawer and used it to cut Batman, Robin, and Batgirl's belts full of tools off, along with The Huntress' belt of only rope and throwing knives. They were know officially helpless.
"I wanna know just who's behind those masks," Croc said with glee.
"We should call our business partners first," said The Penguin. "Let them know that we got 'em." Batman had an idea of whom those partners were.
"That sure could've gone better," whispered Huntress.
"Guess the odds are back into where 'You don't wanna know' territory?" whispered Robin. No one answered.
The Hog's perspective:
The Hog, Al, Daisy, Yuji Takahan, and Joey were all waiting in the meeting room. Most had found other ways to keep themselves occupied, but The Hog was single-minded in her focus. The outcome of this job could get her family destroyed by the other mob unions for "incompetence" or it could earn The Hog enough respect to elevate her to the top of the Gotham crime world! Not to mention her attraction to Batman could be fulfilled, but as her late father always said, "Work before love."
A ringtone was music to The Hog's ears. She picked up. The Joker and Poison Ivy seemed to want to be seen by The Hog and vice versa.
"The Earth killer is ours, along with three friends of his," said Ivy, moving her phone around so The Hog could see Batman, Batgirl, Robin, and The Huntress trapped in Ivy's vines and without their belts.
"Good work," said The Hog, slapping the table in joy.
"He's ripe for unmasking," said The Joker. "Penguin thought you'd want to see it."
"And he thought right," smiled The Hog. "Ah got some... business associates. Ah want Little Bat and his friends to be unmasked in front of them. That'll be a warnin' that Ah'm changin' things in this city, and they really don't wanna be in the way of change."
"Subtle," laughed Joker. "Part of me is hoping they're dumb enough to make some fireworks."
"Sorry Joker," The Hog consoled him, "But they're cowards. They'll do as Ah say after this show. After that's over with, do whatcha want with his juniors, but Little Bat is mine. His eventual unmaskin' will give me the leverage to take him home, not bury him. Understand?"
The Joker and Ivy were surprised. "How long are you giving him?" asked Ivy.
"Should take 'em an hour or so after the call," said The Hog. "Don't plan on goin' to bed too early."
"It's not that," said Joker. "Take it from people who know. If you get a chance to shoot Batsy down now, don't wait. He always finds a way."
The Hog started clucking like a chicken. "You Yankee cowards are more McClellan than Lincoln. You got 'em helpless and outnumbered, right?"
"I'm trying to say that you can never count Batsy out until his body gets cold," tried Joker.
"What did Ah just say?" asked The Hog grumpily.
"Men aren't worth it - no offense to present company," argued Ivy. The Hog seemed angered by that.
"I'm sure we can find you another stud muffin," said The Joker. "Let's start. I'm taken, but The Riddler looks like women could find him attractive. Why don't I get him over here?"
"Ah got that cabin under surveillance and ready to explode," threatened The Hog. "If Little Bat dies, he's just the first. Understand?"
"And they call us crazy," complained The Joker.
"Ah mean it," promised The Hog, hanging up. She noticed that the rest of the family leadership was in shock from overhearing the call. "What are you lookin' at?" asked The Hog.
"They're right, Aunt Becky," said Joey. "If we can shoot 'em, let's do it."
"Ah make the decisions 'round here, boy," The Hog reminded him.
"With all due respect," Al spoke softly, "Ah think your feelins for the that costumed nut are hurtin' your judg - don't look at me like that. Ah'm your brother. Ah'm only tryin' to help."
The Hog waited a few seconds. It had been a long time since she'd felt so angry at Al. How dare he suggest that she was a valley girl who had lost her mind to love? "You're my brother all right," The Hog agreed regardless. "If not, Ah'd have really beaten the she-ut out of you by now!"
"Ah do believe he's gotten out of enough situations that we better be careful," said Daisy.
"Never happen," assured The Hog. "Yuji, what are his chances of escape?"
Yuji did some computing on his tablet. "Less than three percent by my calculations," he concluded.
"See? Nothin' to worry about."
"But..." Yuji seemed as skeptical as anyone else. "...Probability also says that the chances Batman could've survived all he went through for the three years leading up to this night, not to mention the rigorous exercise he'd have had to go through before any of this started are one in three million and change! We can't trust the numbers."
"The Asian tech nerd and me are on the same page," Al noted the significance of this occasion. "Now can we put those animals down?"
"Ah'm surrounded by cowards," complained The Hog. "They're helpless. Nothin's gonna happen. That handsome sumbitch is gonna put the unions in line and be delivered to me. You'll see. My mind's made up. Anybody who questions it any further leaves this organization the only way any of its higher-ups can. Ah ain't takin' no more she-ut from you."
Batman's perspective:
The Malevolent Seven were not making any move to kill Batman, Batgirl, Robin, or The Huntress. From what Batman had gathered, the Traylors wanted to wait to do it. Probably because The Hog was crazy about Batman, an attraction he could do without. Although there were moments of insanity when... no, don't even think about those times.
Point was, at least Batman and his allies were alive. For the time being. They were still tied up in mutant vines. It may have only been a matter of time. The others seemed less than optimistic.
"Sorry we dragged you two into this volcano," whispered Robin.
"It would've been worse if we hadn't come," said The Huntress. "At least we'll die heroes."
"This waiting is killing me," exclaimed Batgirl. "I wish they'd get it over with."
"Listen to yourselves," said Batman. "You're all ready to die. But we're not dead. Not yet. Not necessarily for decades. As long as we're breathing, there's still a chance!"
"How?" asked Robin. "They took our weapons."
"Not all of them," corrected The Huntress. "I still have a crossbow and bolts under my cloak."
"Then why aren't we free?" asked Batgirl.
"First of all," said an irritated Huntress , though she remembered to stay quiet, "Know your place, little girl. Second, I can't reach the bolts like this."
"I think I can," said Robin, reaching as far around as he could in the vines. "Got a bolt."
"Pass it this way but be careful about it," ordered Batman. "We can't afford to be caught in the act."
Slowly and carefully, Robin passed the bolt to Batman. In turn, Batman cautiously began cutting vines with it. Before long, the heroes were free. On top of that, the flower with the vines was too hurt and intimidated to try to bind them again.
Of course, it was seconds before a few criminals, The Riddler, Scarecrow, and Penguin, discovered what had just happened. But Batman had anticipated this and was throwing the bolt at the overhead light. By the time The Malevolent Seven had retrieved its weapons, the cabin had dimmed and Batman, Batgirl, Robin, and The Huntress were on their way out the window.
The costumed heroes retreated into the nearby forests, with their pursuers behind.
"Why aren't we headed for our vehicles?" asked Batgirl.
"We'd get shot getting in," said Batman.
"Then we're not out of trouble," recognized Robin. "We're outnumbered and mostly unarmed."
"We split up," commanded Batman. "If we're separate, the woods, are a great place to hide and ambush."
"That evens the odds," said The Huntress. "Good plan."
"You still can't kill," Batman reminded Huntress. "We spread out here." With that, they all kept running in different directions.
The Huntress' perspective:
The Huntress was on the run. She drew her crossbow and began loading it. This slowed her down enough for her pursuers, The Penguin and Killer Croc, to start catching up. The Penguin drew his Umbrella Copter with one hand and started flying above with what The Huntress guessed was an Umbrella Gun was the thematic umbrella in Penguin's other hand.
Hopping to the side to throw off Penguins' aim, Huntress fired a bolt at the Umbrella Copter, sending it flying and causing The Penguin to fall. Perfect. He can't run to save his life, so I just have to lead Croc on and it's one-on-one.
When she was satisfied that she'd pulled far enough ahead, Huntress turned at the pursuing Croc and loaded her crossbow. The man-beast was too into the savage zone to realize that The Huntress had a lethal weapon. Good. She shot a bolt at a section of the stomach where it wouldn't be fatal.
Croc stumbled forward for a few steps, then returned to speed. Uh-uh! Tough man. That would've decked a deer. Huntress loaded her crossbow again and fired a bolt into the chest of croc, knowing that he would survive it. Still charging forward, he slapped the crossbow out of Huntress' hands.
Croc lifted up Huntress and started choking. Huntress immediately began gasping for breath. "As much as gettin' arrowed by your hot ass is a fantasy of mine," said Croc, "Ya shouldn't have screwed with me. At least that kinda 'Screw with me.'"
Huntress thought about the old knee to the groin, but that probably wouldn't work on a guy who could survive crossbow shots. But then she noticed that Croc's eyes, despite being black like those of a real crocodile, looked almost normal.
The Huntress reached back for a bolt and jabbed it into the right eye of Croc, followed by the left. The shock of blindness loosened Croc's grip enough for Huntress to shake free. She was weakened herself, but began feeling for the crossbow in the spot it had been knocked at. Soon enough she found, aimed, and took another shot at Croc's chest. He fell.
But Croc slowly rose again. a bolt to the shoulder only dropped him to one knee. One bolt left. That bolt went to the abdomen and Croc finally fell unconscious.
The Huntress retrieved one of the bolts from Croc's body and loaded it into her crossbow. The Penguin would catch up sooner or later. Within minutes, Penguin had arrived with both umbrellas.
"I see you felled the titan," said The Penguin. The Huntress nodded and smirked.
"It's not gentlemanly to fight a woman," said Penguin. "I bid you good night." Yeah, right. Sorry, fat midget, but you're not going anywhere. The Huntress took aim at Penguin's heart, but then remembered that Batman had threatened to bring her in if she killed. This hesitation enabled The Penguin to pick up speed and fly out of sight.
The Huntress kicked a tree in anger. Damn you, Batman!
Robin's perspective:
Robin thought he now heard that the footsteps pursuing him were getting louder and thus closer. He stopped to turn around and look with his nightvision lenses on. It was Harley Quinn, toting a baseball bat. She was roaring and charging. While armed, extremely quick and agile, and deceptively strong for her small (even for a woman) size, she was a brawler at heart. Rage and athleticism, but no technique. I've had harder fights.
Robin sidestepped a bat strike, caught the bat, and used it to swing Harley into a tree, causing her to lose grip on the bat. Turning off the nightvision lenses because they weren't suitable for combat, Robin tossed the bat aside. He wasn't going to be that rough to a lady, even one who killed people. He punched Harley across the jaw. Harley responded with a high kick underneath the chin. Robin dodged another high kick and knocked Harley back and down with another right cross and high snap kick.
"Guess we know you hit girls," said Harley. "Good. I like that in guy. If you weren't a kid and Mistah J weren't mine forever, you'd be temptin'. But I can play dirty too." With that, she threw a wad of powder at Robin's face. That must not have been ordinary powder. He couldn't see. He was really in trouble.
Robin felt a kick to the face and tried to strike back and missed. A few seconds later, he was decked by a hopping elbow strike to the back of the head. His head took a few more kicks and an elbow drop. By this point, he was coughing up blood. The powder still wasn't close to wearing off. What am I gonna do? I can't beat her if I can't see.
"Poor boy," mocked Harley. "I got my boot under your face. Lick an' kiss it an' I'll put you outta your misery. Otherwise, it's five more days of this with Mistah J gettin' inta the act."
Batman would have taken the torture, but Robin wasn't Batman. Robin just wasn't one to fight when it was futile.
Wait a minute! Batman. Remember what he told you Robin: "Your eyes can't always save you. Remember your other senses." And he taught me how to use them.
Robin log rolled away. "What a dumbass," laughed Harley. She charged, but Robin had closed his eyes and was focused on the other senses. He kicked out, hoping to tag Harley this time. The grunt confirmed that he had. Following the direction of the grunt, Robin delivered an uppercut that knocked Harley back. Robin didn't see Harley stepping back, but he did hear it.
"It ain't possible," complained Harley. "You ain't got no eyes."
"Who says I need 'em?"
"Harley charged again. A side kick from Robin knocked her back again. A thud indicated that Harley was in a sitting position. And Robin's eyes were getting just a little bit better. Still not close, but this seemed temporary, and in any event, he didn't seem to need to see to win after all.
"It's been fun," said Harley, retreating. Robin pursued her, only to trip and fall on something. He couldn't tell what.
Robin's eyes were beginning to clear. Unfortunately, Harley had pulled too far away to be seen. Robin snapped his fingers, frustrated. Vision couldn't entirely be replaced.
Batgirl's perspective:
Batgirl was up in a tree. She guessed that the two archcriminals chasing her, Poison Ivy and The Scarecrow, wouldn't figure that she could climb a tree without her belt. Judging from how they were passing by the tree Batgirl had scaled, she was right.
Batgirl carefully and quietly slid back down to the ground and started sneaking around. She thought of something. Like Batgirl, Poison Ivy was a strong woman, even if extremism and megalomania were where Batgirl drew the line. The point was, Barbara Gordon had been touched without her permission and made sure those boys never did it again.
So from behind a tree, Batgirl reached out and touched Ivy's behind. Ivy slapped The Scarecrow. "Don't ever disrespect me like that again," thundered Ivy.
"I didn't do anything," insisted Scarecrow.
"Snare him, little one," Ivy commanded her mutant flower. The vines ensnared Scarecrow and squeezed. Ivy took one of Scarecrow's skull-shaped Fear Gas dispensers and sprayed him. Within seconds, Scarecrow was screaming in terror.
"Just another 'big, strong man,' who turns into coward when push comes to shove."
Time for me to strike! Batgirl tackled Ivy from behind. "Let me guess," said Ivy. "He was telling the truth."
Batgirl nodded. "I remember you, Ivy," she said. "I think you made me."
"They make erasers for a reason," said Ivy. "Get 'er, precious!"
The vines left Scarecrow and began tying up Batgirl's limbs, so she immediately darted for a tree, putting her arms and legs on opposite sides so she could climb. Ivy held onto the pot so Batgirl couldn't drag it up, but in time enough, Batgirl managed to rip the plant out of the pot, crippling it and totally freeing herself.
Batgirl returned to the ground. "You killed him," screamed Ivy. "He will be avenged!" Batgirl smiled and gave her a "C'mere" sign.
"Maybe not," reconsidered the petite Ivy. "But I can count on you Bat-people not having the stomach to make the big decisions. Hear Scarecrow screaming? Looks like muscle spasms in numerous places? As a scientist, I can tell you that he'll be literally scared to death soon if you don't knock him out for his own good. Not enough time to do that and catch me. The choice is yours." With that, Ivy ran.
Yeah, like I'm letting you go for that creep! Aw, who am I kidding? I'm not letting anybody die, no matter how bad! The parents and hero of mine who inspired me would no doubt do the same.
Unlike Batman and Robin, Batgirl didn't know pressure points. She had to hit Scarecrow a few times before he finally fell unconscious and stopped panicking to death. By then, Ivy was long gone. You better appreciate this, horror movie reject!
Batman's perspective:
Batman wasn't quite as fast as the well under six-foot Robin and Batgirl, so The Dark Knight was beginning to hear the sounds of hand-to-hand combat before he was ready to spring his ambush. Fortunately, the others seemed to be winning.
Batman took off his cape and attached it to a tree branch. In a forest at night, you'd have to be very close to the cape to realize that it wasn't Batman!
Batman hid a distance away, concealed by wood. He listened to gunfire followed by clicking. "There had to be a winner," boasted The Joker.
"Yes, me," said Riddler. "I tagged him, primal creature."
"As if a pale imitation of me could shoot straight."
This is why you don't trust lunatics, Traylors. They can't work together. As Joker and Riddler entered a shouting match, Batman sneaked up and slammed their heads together, then knocked them down with a punch with each hand.
"I'll settle this, maniacs," offered Batman. "I fooled you both." The crafty Riddler threw some dirt at Batman's face. Batman quickly scraped the dirt out and his vision returned, but Riddler was fleeing. Oh, no, you don't!
But no sooner had Batman thought that when The Joker sprayed suit flower acid at him. Batman dodged it, moved in close, and ripped out the flower. Another punch backed The Joker up.
"Riddler," said Joker. "If you don't get your ass back here, I'm not sharing credit with you when I kill him."
"I know one place you can do that," Batman remarked. "Your dreams. As for The Riddler, haven't you ever heard that there's no honor among thieves?"
"Who needs the scrawny lizard anyway?" asked The Joker. "The last time we met before this decreasingly worthwhile team was formed, I had you dead to rights until your Cat maiden in shining armor showed up."
"Maybe," admitted Batman. "But you had to use her as a target to distract me, if I recall. Not that I've forgotten; if you thought I beat on you before..."
Joker's answer to that was to throw what looked like party streamers. Batman caught them in his hands, only for them to wrap themselves many times around Batman's arms and body, tying him up.
The Joker moved in and delivered four punches and a kick to Batman's face, knocking him down. He drew a switchblade knife to be plunged into Batman's throat, but Batman kicked both legs up to catch Joker's arm inches short of the kill. A twist of the feet forced Joker to drop the knife and a double-footed kick staggered him back.
As a multitask-er, Batman had been struggling with the streamers all this while and freed his arms. He moved close and saw The Joker reaching for something else. Batman caught Joker's wrists and spread them out before he could get anything else. Three headbutts brought The Clown Prince of Crime literally to his knees.
"Why?" asked The Joker. "Why can't you be killed? Outnumbered, immobilized, your toys taken away! What do we have to do?"
"We'll always stop you people," Batman explained how his team had obliterated the odds. "Not necessarily because we're better. Because with Gotham City depending on us, we want it more." Before The Joker could say anything else, Batman had kicked him out cold.
The Hog's perspective:
The Hog's phone was ringing again. She answered. "It hasn't gone well," said The Penguin.
"You couldn't hold him?" asked The Hog, struggling to hold onto her temper. This might get her back in bad with the other mob bosses.
"Don't say you weren't warned about Batman's ability to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat."
"Shut up," interrupted The Hog. "Meet me at a warehouse west of Country Buffet. We'll discuss this there." She hung up.
"They failed," The Hog explained to the other heads of the Traylor family.
Al walked over to his sister. "Ah want to remind you that Ah was against this from..."
"Don't start," The Hog ordered Al, lifting him up by the suit, then letting him down once he got the picture.
Who am Ah kiddin'? Why didn't Ah listen to everybody?
The Hog wasn't out of gas yet. The Malevolent Seven may have failed, but Batman would have to get Gordon out of the cabin. The Hog still had surveillance equipment and explosives there.
Batman's perspective:
Batman, Robin, Batgirl, and The Huntress had met outside the forests with the archcriminals they had caught. "Wait here," said Batman. "I'll get the Comissioner."
Batman ran into the cabin. He'd have gone after the severed utility belts, but he heard a hissing sound. I don't like the sound of that. He spent just enough time to get a butcher knife out of the kitchen. He charged back up the stairs and cut a couple ropes binding Gordon, picked him up, and jumped out of the cabin. They just barely avoided the explosion.
"Thank god you're OK," said Batgirl.
"I don't even know you, madam," said a purplexed Gordon.
"I... know you're an honest, hardworking soul," explained Batgirl. But why was she so emotionally relieved that Gordon was safe.
"Whatever," said Robin. "Against all odds, we've won."
"Wasn't our cleanest victory," said Batman. "Four of them are still free."
"That's right," said The Huntress. "Damn you, Batman! If you hadn't made me promise not to kill, The Penguin would be dead."
"So you'd rather be a murderess than a heroine?" asked Batman.
"There's nothing heroic about letting him get away to do more damage," argued Huntress. "I don't think I want to work with you again."
"Feeling's more than mutual," said Batgirl. The Huntress left and got on her motorcycle.
"Thank you all," Gordon expressed his gratitude to the three remaining heroes. "I needed your help like never before. Wait, do I know you, Batgirl?"
"I... you probably meet a lot of girls calling the police for help," said Batgirl.
"That's true," Gordon said thoughtfully.
"You said you'd want to have a full partnership with us after awhile," said Robin. "I think you're ready."
"Yeah," agreed Batgirl. "I am."
"First," prioritized Batman, "Let's get the Commissioner home."
Gasper Whittaker's perspective:
The mob bosses had arrived at the wreckage of a cabin.
"So the fat trailor trash bitch failed," Riko Dimiquen stated the obvious. "Now can we take her out?"
"I'll give 'er a bit longer," said Gasper. "Only a bit."
The Hog's perspective:
"This is a worse disaster than Gettysburg," complained The Hog to The Penguin, Riddler, Poison Ivy, and Harley Quinn. "You had 'em in your power. Why the Hell couldn't you hold them?"
"What do a weatherman, doomsayer, film critic, and us have in common?" asked The Riddler. "All of the above warned you."
"From the looks of your comrades, hillbilly," noted Ivy, "They agree with us."
"Fine," said The Hog. "Here's how we do it."
"Uh-uh," refused Harley. "I think I'm through takin' orders from you."
"I agree," said The Penguin. "It's been wonderful having your Southern hospitality, but I think there are greener pastures."
"There are really only two people I play well with," said Riddler. "I'll think I'll spring them."
"How dare you walk away from me," shouted a furious Hog. "Ah gave your freedom."
"Not me," Penguin reminded her. "I'm entitled to do this." He shot The Hog in the left thigh with his Umbrella Gun. The Hog fell.
The Hog's comrades immediately drew their guns. "Let 'em go," she said reluctantly. "This alliance is over either way." The costumed archcriminals left.
Al and Daisy helped The Hog to a car. "What now?" asked Al.
"On the plus side," said The Hog, "Little Bat ain't our problem anymore. He's still got those nuts to catch. By now, the other bosses have figured out that we've failed."
"They're liable to start a war," realized Daisy.
"One Ah plan on winnin'," stated The Hog. "If it comes to that. For now, don't attack unless they do. Maybe this'll blow over. Probably not. Hostilities have broken out."
Batman's perspective:
Batman and Robin had unmasked in the Batcave. "Your turn," said Batman.
Batgirl unmasked to reveal Barbara Gordon.
"You're the Commissioner's daughter?" asked Batman.
"Yeah," said Batgirl. "And, yes, that's probably why he almost recognized me. I hate lying to him."
"At least you have someone to lie to," said Robin.
"Oh..." Batgirl was taken aback by what that meant. "I'm sorry to hear that, but it explains why you do what you do."
"Never mind that," Batman changed the subject. "We're officially three. And we've got to be with no less than four psychotic archcriminals on the loose."
Harley Quinn's perspective:
"I do believe that this is where we should part company," said The Penguin.
"Agreed," said The Riddler. He and The Penguin left in opposite directions.
"So where are you going?" Poison Ivy asked Harley.
"I'm bustin' out Mistah J," Harley promised.
"Why?" asked Ivy.
"Why not?" Harley answered the question with a question. "Look Red, he's the love of my life."
"No, he's not. He uses you. He yells at you and threatens violence. That's not love."
"He's just a little rough."
"Harley, you don't need that psychopath running you into the ground like a horse in ancient Rome. You're just as good a criminal as he is. Be your own woman."
"I need someone. Before you say I don't, the doctor says I'm no ordinary girl. I'm dependent."
"Then come with me. With any luck, I'll make you independent."
Harley thought about it. Since The Hog never paid her, it would take some time to get the money needed to buy the equipment to free The Joker. "I'll try it for a week or two."
Batman's perspective:
The Joker, Killer Croc, and Scarecrow were on their way back to Arkham Asylum. The other members of The Malevolent Seven remained. Batman drove the Batmobile to The Hog's house in the country. Batman entered through a window leading to The Hog's room as she was in bed watching television.
"What do Ah owe the honor to this time, Little Bat?" asked The Hog, smiling at Batman.
"You know what," said Batman. "Since you've got a crutch next to the bed, I take it you've seen the folly of trusting maniacs?"
"Yeah."
"Where are they?"
"Ah don't know."
Batman saw no reason to believe her. "You tell me all you know," demanded Batman, pounding his right fist into his left palm.
"Threatenin' a crippled woman?" asked The Hog. "What a big man you are!"
"You're not judging, are you?" asked Batman. "Because until this case, I didn't realize just how evil you are."
"Ah wasn't gonna let 'em kill you," said The Hog. "Ah swear on the soul of my dead father. You know how much Ah like you."
"That's not the point," said Batman. "You released living gangrene on Gotham. You won't be forgiven."
"Then beat the she-ut out of me," suggested The Hog. "You can't, can you? Part of you wants to ride me. Ah've got the saddle if you've got the spurs, cowboy!"
Batman wanted to crawl naked on hot coal, because The Hog was right. Why did he keep getting attracted to crooked women, even if it was only a small part of him in The Hog's case. She wasn't even attractive. She was overweight, if muscularly so.
"It's your imagination," Batman insisted.
"You hesitated," said The Hog, patting her own lap in an attempt to summon Batman.
Batman jumped out the window and returned to the Batmobile. He wasn't getting any help from The Hog, so he couldn't waste any more time. Four serial killers were on the loose.