Jack had ventured out alone to track down his two AWOL companions. He had checked the Hub cameras and decided they weren't still in there. Grinning at his own brilliance he activated the tracking device on his watch. Two blips appeared side by side, he checked the location in a map on his own watch, some kind of restaurant cafe. He smirked heading there immediately.

*

"I mean it's not like I ever do anything to purposely piss him off so why?" Toshiko asked exasperatedly spooning pistachio yoghurt into her mouth at a voracious rate. Ianto nodded sympathetically,

"In all fairness to Owen, as little as he deserves, he did get some bad news today," he said soothingly, "our dear Ms. Martha is coming to work with us again."

Toshiko rolled her eyes, "poor Owen, poor you," she said sympathetically,

Ianto shrugged,

She continued, "I think you and I are the only ones not affected by her holier than thou sympathy routine." He chuckled at her words noting she was gearing up to do a `Tosh rant´. They didn't happen very often as, like Ianto she was a very peaceable mellow person usually storing resentment and bitterness and channelling it into her work.

"I just, can't stand it though! Jack and Owen are just the same!" Her eyes were shiny, hinting at oncoming tears. Ianto gripped her hand as she continued. "They are completely and utterly ruled by their emotions and hormones. `Gwen and I are just going to the firing range to train on marksmanship´ bollocks! I could see his erection from the ground floor! If something has legs...Hmm I wonder what it'd be like in bed..."

"Or on a desk," Ianto muttered,

"Or up against a wall" she spat, "It wouldn't be so bad if our other charming workmate, Gwen hadn't fucked both of them, repeatedly at that while engaged to Rhys!"

"She's a whore." Ianto added lightly, but meaning it. "But we knew that..."

"What does she actually do anyway? Other than sleep with whomever we're chasing or get given projects that she can't handle and we have to go help her! Owen's a medic and therefore necessary to the team, Jack organises everything, has a vast knowledge of alien life and tech and is the best gunman.

I analyse every fucking thing that comes through the damn Rift, have to do the profiles on everything we find organise and make sure everyone understands what the hell is going on and what we're chasing. Jack gets pissed when you or I don't know something but whenever the other two don't, they get a nice explanation forgetting naturally that we aren't from the 51st century as he is!"

Ianto nodded gritting his tooth as he mulled over what she was saying, finding it to be true. Then he pointedly asked, "What do I do that is so integral to the team?"

She paused and looked at him through teary eyes, "you Ianto could be what holds us all together and keeps us sane, the gestures you make, ensuring everyone has the best of what they could have. On the professional side, you can read hundreds of alien languages, your memory for detail is amazing and your orderly meticulousness is piecing together the chaos we call our workplace."

Ianto smiled, "Those who work the hardest are usually the most unappreciated." He quoted softly, "they say to know your love is unrequited is to be perfectly happy, as you're in love and know you'll never get anything other than that."

"Wouldn't it be great" Toshiko declared waking from her rant induced slump, "if we had fallen in love with each other not Jack and Owen?" Ianto smiled sadly again,

"It would, it's not fair, and such is life." He stood glancing at the clock on the wall, "we've been gone over 2 and a half hours, we are going to be hung drawn and quartered."

Tosh finished her tea and left the shop, Ianto followed suit after paying.

"I've just had a thought," Tosh mused as they walked slowly back the hub, "how didn't they find us? Tracers in our watches and our headsets?" Ianto grinned sheepishly.

"I took care of that."

*

After being thrown out of the coffee shop for causing a disturbance Jack glared at the gleaming coffee bar into which he had gone following the signal from their watches. The counter clerk had been primarily smitten and had confirmed that a young good-looking man and young pretty Asian woman had gone in the shop earlier that day. After showing him the watches and watching his temper tantrum she had ordered him out the shop and banned him from going there again.

Jack was still spitting half an hour later as returned to the Hub, he had frequently tried to contact them via headset but all he was getting was classical music. He had heard the overture to Tristan and Isolde 16 times in the last 20 minutes. Admitting defeat was not something he was accustomed too and so riled him even further. He retreated to his office drinking Expresso bar coffee, overpriced and nowhere near as good as Ianto's. Owen made his own coffee and promptly vanished when Jack demanded a cup of his own.

Gwen emerged from the shooting range having finally calmed her hair down and redone her make-up. She planted a kiss on his head and his hand automatically went to caress her backside. "Why so sad Jack?" she whispered, he pulled her down to him to kiss her. She wriggled free sighing, "Not again Jack, I'm literally shagged out for at least an hour." He pouted and frowned.

"Tea-boy and Tosh not back yet?" Owen called from the ground floor; Gwen stepped briskly away from her lover and sent him a confused look. Jack's face darkened dramatically.

"No" he said tersely before diving into his long neglected paperwork.

"What's going on?" Gwen asked suspiciously catching sight of her reflection in the shiny glass window she preened admiring her mirrored image.

"Tosh and Ianto pulled a runner," Owen sang, pleased it was annoying his boss so much, he switched to his doctors voice, "and Jack's in caffeine-withdrawal-relapse-state, CWRS, it's a common condition among Torchwood workers to suffer from this disorder when in the absence of that surprisingly vital mineral T-boy."

A familiar giggle announced Martha Jones' arrival to the Hub. After hugging all three of them she in-avertedly jumped on the question that was under discussion.

"Really? Ianto's gone? Damn I could do with a coffee right now."

"Couldn't we all?" Jack drawled just as the pneumatic elevator doors slid open to reveal the missing members.

"How nice of you to return so soon." Jack's voice reverberated icily round the suddenly deathly silence Hub. "11:17 you two walked out of here, I know I checked the camera relay, and it is now," he made a show of carelessly checking his watch. "2:04, care to tell us why the fuck you thought it was ok to clear off?"

"No we don't," Ianto replied shortly, he and Tosh both tried to walk to their respective places but Martha blocked the way.

"You mean you two were gone for nearly three hours together?" Her eyes wide as if detecting a possible scandal.

"Yes," Toshiko muttered trying to get past the excited Martha without actually touching her.

"Alone, whatever could have taken you three hours?" She smirked enjoying the other woman' s obvious discomfort.

"Yes, yes! The point is quite clear Martha; we're not quite as stupid as you seem to make out!" Owen snapped, he glanced briefly at Ianto and Tosh before returning to his medical bay, Martha following close on his heels. Ianto smiled inwardly.

He was painfully aware of the glaring eyes at his back, Gwen looked from the fuming Captain to the stubborn butler and sighed.

The awkward silence was shattered by an ear-splitting siren.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?" Jack bellowed as Tosh scrambled to shut the siren off and find out what was causing it.

"TURN THAT FUCKING THING OFF AND FIND OUT WHAT THE HELL IT'S DOING!" he shouted again clenching his ears like the rest of them were.

"MAYBE TOSH'S COMPUTER IS BROKEN?" Martha shouted helpfully to her angry boss.

"MY COMPUTER'S DON'T BREAK!" Toshiko spat, Jack opened his mouth to say something along the lines of –stop chatting and sort this mess out- Toshiko wheeled around,

"DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE OPEN YOUR MOUTH HARKNESS!" she growled, flicking a switch the Siren vanished, her eyes flicked back to the screen, "clear a space there" she pointed to where Owen's desk was, Ianto and Gwen hastened to do so.

"May I as..." Jack started sarcastically,

"No, you may not ask why," Tosh interrupted, "I will tell you why. Something's going to land there in less than a minute." Her apologetic eyes flicked to Ianto's, I'm sorry she mouthed,

"What exactly?" Owen asked grumpily standing back with the rest of the team.

"The Time And Relative Dimension In Space vehicle will be there." She glared at Jack, "The Doctor is paying a visit."