Heaven
Chapter 1
Edwards Point of View
I could feel their presence behind me as I gazed over the sun drenched square. I knew what would happen before I had a chance to move; it would finally be over, the pain I felt would cease. I thought this pain which I had felt these last months were the worst I could ever have felt. I had been wrong, ever since that fateful phone call from Rosalie I had felt like my world was over, I could have been surrounded by people yet felt completely isolated. Never in my 100 years had I felt such pain, even the fire when I was turned could not compare to the despair I felt now. Would the pain finally end, could it end? It was my fault, I had driven her to do this, I should never have left, and I had been selfish. All those months ago when I left I had tried to persuade myself it was for her safety and that she would forget me in time, maybe find someone else who could love her almost as much as I had and would always. But I knew deep down this could not happen. I had loved her more than anyone has ever loved another person before. When I was away from her for even a second I felt lose, it had been torturous to drag myself away from her. And I believe she shared my feelings, I doubt she would ever be able to forget me. Even though I had removed all physical traces of our time together I could not erase the memories we shared, no matter how much I wish I could. Not so I could forget that is the last thing I ever wanted, that year had been the happiest of my life, I had felt truly alive and glad Carlisle had changed me for the first time. No, I wanted her to be able to forget so that she may be able to live a happy normal life, with her life not being endangered just by being with me or my family. As much as I tried to make myself believe the lies of why I left her I could not. In all honesty the lies were partially right, I had left so she was not endangered from our kind, but truly I left because I was afraid. The emotions I was feeling when I was around her were amazing and terrifying at the same time. I wanted to make love with her and also thirsted for her intoxicating blood. I was a coward in the end I could not handle these emotions and was afraid of what I could do. Not just to her but to our families, friends and in my case our kind.
I closed my eyes waiting for what I knew was coming, I would not fight, I just wanted this to end. I would not try and survive if my love had given up the fight already. I would die and we would finally be together again, and this time forever. Ever since I had left every time I closed my eyes I saw her, I wished I could sleep for then I could dream of her, although my dreams would not doubt become nightmares of all the things I dreaded happening to her.
(I am finding this a really hard story to write so will take some time to write, but am pleased with this chapter even though it is short [I have rewritten it about 6 times - lol], please tell me what you think of it.)
{PLEASE REVIEW – you know you want to & it helps me write faster}