Starrider: A Star Trek Voyager Fanfiction Story Collection
Alice:
On the USS Voyager, from Tom Paris's Quarters…
Personal log, Stardate 53064... Moderate sigh. What hour is it? Ohh…kay. Stardate 53066.0468. Good to hear my own thoughts…to myself. Slight uneasy chuckle. It's funny. With B'Elanna, it's been no sweat: When we're not arguing, the dust clears…and it's all right to leave the bomb shelter. Then… Alice. If there was anyone…anything…that could sink the Titanic just by looking at it… It'd be Alice. And boy, did I sink! Heavy sigh. All right. Keep it together, Tom. Just…let it all out. Where was I? Ohh. Right.
B'Elanna forgave me: Which is more than I can say for myself right now. But, it's the thought that counts. Frankly though…I wasn't thinking. Now, my head is still spinning: Thinking about the stars, trying not to think… But, I need to run it through. I need to…understand where I went wrong. Well…first… We came across a junkyard…but it sure gave Tuvok a scare. Slight chuckle. Well, maybe under his uniform. It was Abaddon's Repository of Lost Treasures.
The Captain wanted to see if we could acquire nine intact warp core components. Maybe even have two new warp cores to increase our thrust. It was a good idea. But, most of their warp coils were too run down to work at all. Then the Captain left Chakotay to the bargaining…and stepped down for the whole thing. Slight nervous chuckle. I didn't get what she was getting so worked up about. But, looking back…it reminds me of what I'm doing now. Mainly…trying not to think. Among the treasures of "Shipyards Past"…one "called" to me. Hell, it was calling to everyone! Well, almost everyone.
In Tom Paris's eyes…
In the conference room, Tom Paris and B'Elanna are looking in Chakotay's direction: A little nervous. Tuvok, Neelix, Chakotay, and Harry Kim are there too. Harry Kim looks somewhat unenthusiastic. Somewhat awkwardly, Chakotay has been going over inventory, "Looks like a good haul. If that's it?" Neelix figures, "ohh…yes. There is one other item. A small vessel that could be an asset."
Interestingly, Tuvok adds, "of a personal nature, I might add." Chakotay slightly chuckles nervously, "why do I get the feeling I'm the last one to know about this?" B'Elanna comments, "word has a way of…getting around on this ship." Chakotay moderately sighs, "all right. If you think restoring a derelict ship here is worth it… Let's hear it." B'Elanna slightly chuckles nervously, "actually…it's Tom's idea. But, it could be good for the Captain: Good enough to get us all home a lot faster, if it works."
More seriously, Chakotay says, "I get the picture. Tom… I appreciate your initiative as Lieutenant Commander. But, we already got the Delta Flyer. Are you sure you're not just looking for a new toy?" Tom Paris slightly chuckles, "positive. Chakotay, this ship is a diamond in the rough! Sure, it's got some scrapes and scratches… But, here: Take a look at these systems." On the side computer, he shows a mostly dark blue schematic: Of a worn out light green striped shuttle, with wings shaped like nuclear warheads.
Tom Paris pinpoints, "it has a neurogenic interface that allows it to react directly to the pilot's thoughts. That gives it the potential of being quicker and more maneuverable than anything we've got." Neelix adds, "add to that an optronic weapons array." In consideration, Chakotay slightly nods, "maybe we can restore it. But, how would that help us get home?" Tom Paris reasons, "glad you asked. Remember when we tried the Quantum Slipstream Drive?"
Chakotay reasons, "of course I do: It didn't work." Harry Kim points out, "and the phase corrections were nearly impossible to calculate: Fifteen years from the future, as I recall." Tom Paris reasons, "true. But that was the old future, Harry. This is the new future…and it has Slipstream written all over it."
Chakotay, B'Elanna, and Neelix slightly chuckle. Sounding wary, Harry Kim figures, "still… Moderate sigh. I'd just like to go on record here as the only senior officer here that thinks this is just asking for us to be screwed over." Chakotay figures, "your concern is noted, Harry." B'Elanna adds sarcastically, "unless of course, you come through for us in the future." Harry Kim slightly chuckles nervously, "thanks…I think." Chakotay slightly smiles, "Tuvok. I know you and the Captain are close friends. But in your own opinion…do you think we can upgrade Voyager with this neurogenic interface?"
Tuvok figures outright, "I believe so, Commander. But logically, I wouldn't be considering the possibility without a strong degree of logic." Chakotay concludes, "no: Of course not. This won't cost us too much, I hope?" Neelix reasons, "no, it won't. Abaddon's agreed to give it to us for three used power cells and Tom's interactive record collection." Tom Paris corrects, "my jukebox."
Chakotay slightly chuckles, "all right. It's your project, Tom." Tom Paris concludes cheerfully, "yes! I mean…thanks. You won't regret it." They start to head out of the conference room. Chakotay slightly chuckles, "but, on one condition." Tom Paris turns back, "sure: Name it." B'Elanna slightly pauses. Chakotay figures, "you keep it a surprise for the Captain: If it works." Tom Paris shakes on it, "it's a deal." B'Elanna slightly smiles, leaving the conference room.
From Tom Paris's Quarters…
Yeah. Maybe I was a little too excited. But, so were we with Slipstream. And yet…we became ten years closer to home for our troubles. Plus, I got to run the project. It was like being Captain Proton…only without the holodeck. Slight chuckle. Or at least, I thought it'd be. I tried to get B'Elanna onboard. She said it was sweet, but not possible. Something about power regulators.
Harry didn't want anything to do with Alice. Seven turned me down, saying we might as well "hand ourselves over to the Borg". I didn't think she could get any madder. But shit, was she furious! Moderate sigh. Guess Seven's head is still spinning from her newfound emotions. My head was spinning, just to figure out who to have onboard. I absolutely didn't want to press my luck…like I did with Seven. So, oddly enough, I asked Xana. And she was thrilled already. So, I left it at that. That leaves the score… Seven-Hating-My-Guts: 3. Tom-Paris-Saving-Our-Asses-By-The-Seat-Of-His-Pants: Infinity…minus 3.
Because…Seven turned out to be absolutely right. Even from the beginning… Hard sigh! Even from the beginning…Alice didn't just sink me: She was the Titanic of shuttles.
In Tom Paris's eyes…
In Shuttle Bay 2, Tom Paris is at the back of the worn out light green striped shuttle: Scanning it with a tricorder. Some cobwebs were over the windshield. Other than that, just several months of dust. Xana is just outside, scanning the outmost back part. With no Beta Squad mission at the time, she was able to get Vyoir's special tricorder. Tom Paris sighs, "I still can't get an active readout." Xana realizes, "ohh. Here's why, Tom: Another power cell down the drain."
Tom Paris sighs over the fluctuating sensors readout. He mutters to himself, "come on Alice! How about it, huh? Give us a break." Xana is getting out another power cell to try. She muses in amusement, "didn't know you knew each other." Tom Paris slightly chuckles, "not exactly, Xana. But…there was a Alice Battisti. I knew her back in the Academy. She was smart, sexy, had great boobs… Slight sigh. But, she wouldn't give me the time of day."
Xana figures, "if we were in the Academy together…I would have. But, you have B'Elanna now." A little taken aback, Tom Paris figures, "you're not by any chance in love with me…are you?" Xana chuckles, "no. You'd know if I was. Try it again." Tom Paris turns on the sensors readout, "I've got a pulse." Xana wonders, "is it a good pulse?" She comes in to look.
Tom Paris concludes, "yeah. As Seven might say, an efficient design. Umm… This may not be my place to say. But…is she still mad?" Xana concludes, "it's…a learning curve for her too: The Agony Stimulator. But, carry a big phaser." Tom Paris moderately sighs, "great. Just great." Xana adds, "yeah." Tom Paris concludes, "on the bright side though…the main computer's online."
From Tom Paris's Quarters…
I can just hear Harry now: How about The Lost Cause? But the neurogenic interface… It was…like flying forever. Only, I was still on the ground. But the worst part...the very worst part is… Alice…was alive. Hell, she even looked like Alice Battisti! I was the only one that could see her, because of the neurogenic interface. And even when I tried to introduce Alice to Xana…to B'Elanna… They thought I was joking. They didn't think to scan me: They scanned everything else. But, as the hours went on… Moderate sigh. That's all I was caring about: That I could see her. I started wearing a flight suit Alice recommended. I started working on Alice, nonstop. I wasn't eating. I wasn't sleeping. But, I felt great.
I didn't even join Harry on the holodeck for The Web of Pain. Xana…was attacked. And, I wasn't there. One late night, the optronic weapons array went online. And if it wasn't for the Doctor…Xana would be dead. The optronic pulse disabled her heart: Almost permanently. She was in a coma for two days…because of Alice. That's when everyone else started to get suspicious. But, no one else was in Shuttle Bay 2: So, how could they know? Sob. Why couldn't I? Why…couldn't...I?!
In Tom Paris's eyes…
In his Quarters, Tom Paris looks terribly half asleep. He looks dirty all over. He wore a very dark blue flight suit: The same one specially designed for Alice that Alice herself recommended. Facing him is Gryzil…very concerningly so. Gryzil moderately sighs, "Tom… I know how hard it can be: Coming back to dock." Tom Paris wonders irritatedly, "what are you driving at?"
In his head, Alice mutters, "what does it look like, Tom? If they discover me, they'll think you're crazy! But, you're not crazy: You're brilliant. They're just too caught up in protocol to truly care about you...like I do." Gryzil deduces, "your sanity. Chakotay…Seven…B'Elanna… Everyone is worried about you. You've been neglecting everything but Alice: Your friends, B'Elanna, shaving…"
Sounding defeated, Tom Paris sighs heavily, "you're…absolutely right. I'll turn in early...clear my head. Sort it out in the morning."
Alice whispers softly, "Tom... You're not neglecting anyone. Everyone on this ship, with their rules and regulations… They're all part of a society that doesn't truly understand freedom. They deny themselves true freedom." Gryzil figures, "good to hear. But…moderate sigh. There's two things I should tell you. And, there's no easy way to." Very unsure, Tom Paris figures, "ok." Teary eyed, Alice insists, "please…don't listen to him! I care for them too. But velocity, freedom…they'll never understand these things the way we do."
Gryzil informs Tom Paris, "Xana…was attacked last night." Tom Paris looks wide eyed, "what?! How?" Gryzil sighs heavily, "I don't know, Tom. None of us do. But, she is alive: In a coma, but alive." Quite shaken, Tom Paris says, "good. Any theories?" Gryzil figures, "well, we think it has something to do with Alice. With all of Alice's advanced systems though, there's bound to be something we're not detecting. Slight chuckle. Wouldn't be surprised by a few loose wires or two. Some members of Beta Squad are already on their way back to Abaddon...to see if he can help us figure out what happened." Tom Paris slightly nods, "least that's something. What's the second?"
Gryzil says, "heavy sigh. Chakotay wants to put the project on hold: Until the investigation is complete. I'm sorry. Flight suit…please." Alice whispers harshly, "what did I tell you?! Hard sigh. I know this is hard for you. But…silence him. You belong with me. Not with them." Tom Paris is looking down at the floor, torn between voices.
He sighs heavily under his breath, "no: I'm sorry." Tom Paris takes out his phaser, stunning a shocked Gryzil to the floor. Tom Paris looks stunned himself. He moderately sighs, "I'm sorry…Alice." Alice says, "it's ok, Tom. It's ok. But, it won't be long before Security comes for us."
Tom Paris concludes, "well, maybe we should've thought of that!" He runs out of his Quarters. Alice says, "I have, Tom. I'll tell you on the way." Tom Paris wonders uneasily, "to where?" Alice slightly chuckles, "to me." Tuvok and Kellin aren't far behind, back down the corridor.
From Tom Paris's Quarters…
So, yeah: I was sinking fast. It all happened so fast. I couldn't believe it was more than just a dream. A very shitty dream at that. Alice just needed to "temporarily" compromise Voyager's systems…and we'd have just enough time to finish repairing Alice's systems and escape. We barely got to Shuttle Bay 2, and shut the door on Security. Then I manually connected Alice to the shuttle bay itself. And through our completed interface…we took over Voyager. Yes: Took…over Voyager. I could not dream this shit up.
It was, in every sense, Seven's nightmare come true. We…were one. The ship…was one with us. Voyager's environmental systems were taken offline. All the systems were: Only the transporters weren't. We could beam in anything from Voyager's backup systems to repair Alice's systems. Alice assured me it was just Shuttle Bay 2 that was affected: For our own protection. We continued working. But…moderate sigh…I had no good reason. The lights went off. Mariah Henley and Ayala made it just in time to beam to the Bridge, and get environmental systems online. They forced them on: With phasers.
I didn't see it all at the time…but I could hear their voices: All of them, throughout the ship. Bits and parts of those voices are still echoing in me: All one hundred nineteen of them. Of fear. Of unspoken hurt. Of sudden understanding of what Alice truly was from beyond the shipyard grave. And as we took off for what Alice called "home"… The voices became too painful to bear. I saw it all… Sob. The pain and the hurt…of those one hundred nineteen crewmen.
In Tom Paris's eyes…
Hundreds of sensor readings flash around before his eyes: Of every deck on Voyager. Voyager's sensor data swirls in a electron soup. Holographically glowing crewmembers whirl with the subtlety of a jackhammer. Most of them are either coughing violently for air or aching all over. Their voices replay on and on, in sickly computer memory shards:
Power fluctuation's down to four point seven…fifty point…! Captain, phaser fire has been detected in… What the hell?! Kellin to the Bridge…! We're losing life support! It's Alice: I don't understand how myself, but she's trying to kill us! Oh, my god! This "ship" Alice practically assaulted Xana! …fricking insane! Environmental controls…moderate sigh…stabilizing. …Obsession, and Resale. Seems like you only got one stage… Captain, Tom isn't himself! It's not a open and…! We'll have the Doctor look at…
The Bridge officers have mostly passed out from lack of oxygen. The EMH Doctor was unfortunately connected to Voyager's systems…when Sick Bay went offline. Captain Janeway and Seven barely force the door to Sick Bay open with their bare hands. Following soon after is a very dizzy B'Elanna…coughing up some drips of dark red liquid over a medical bed. Then, it all seems to fade for good. And all Tom Paris sees now…is Alice and the stars. Dark red to pale yellow wire coils are wired in him: Through the flight suit. Alice creepily muses, "and Daedalus fashioned wings from wax and feathers and used them to escape his prison." Nervously, Tom Paris recalls, "that's one of my favorite myths."
Alice slightly smiles, "I know. What is it?" Tom Paris mutters coldly, "stop." Alice the shuttle halts: With the particle fountain two hundred kilometers below them. Alice sighs hard, "you…think I tried to kill them. Don't you?" Tom Paris remarks, "the thought has crossed my mind. Slight laugh! I thought we "told each other everything." Guess I was wrong." Alice sighs hard. At his side, she quickly figures, "all those voices in your head…must be very discomforting. You're confused. I can help you."
Confusedly, Tom Paris sighs heavily, "how? We're already one." Alice slightly laughs, "you are the one. Our potential is unlimited." She feels her way around his back. Tom Paris groans softly. Alice feels around his shoulders, "I…was going to save the surprise for coming "home". But, in your confused state…you need to know. Forget your old future. I want you…to become part of me. Thought to thought. Who needs arms and legs…when you have true freedom?" Intoxicatingly, Tom Paris sighs to her, "I can't wait." Alice the shuttle starts heading into the particle fountain: Multiphasic shields up. Alice slightly laughs, "I promise you won't be disappointed."
Then suddenly, a projection of B'Elanna taps in, "don't believe her." Tom Paris looks to B'Elanna, "where's Alice?" B'Elanna urges, "oh come on, Tom! Get it through your thick skull: There is no Alice! You're letting a deluded program delude you." Torn by two fantasies, Tom Paris sighs heavily, "you don't understand. This is what I've always dreamed of." B'Elanna highlights, "you're still dreaming. And when you wake up, you're in for a big surprise." Teary eyed, Tom Paris insists, "Alice needs me." B'Elanna adds, "so do I."
Alice reappears beside Tom Paris, "a nice sentiment…but it's a lie. Your family will do anything to keep us apart. Don't listen to them!" B'Elanna calls out, "Tom! It's me. B'Elanna. Alice is an illusion." Alice mutters harshly, "I'm giving you what you always wanted! Something they can never do. Does that sound like an illusion?" Tom Paris turns to her, "B'Elanna…would never lie. Get…out…of my head!" He rips out the wire coils around him, driving them into the grayish neural clamp. Alice cries out, "no!" Tom Paris falls to the floor, shaking violently. The neurogenic interface overloads. The shuttle is exploding into flames. B'Elanna calls back to the Bridge, "beam him out: Now!" Tom Paris is beamed directly into Sick Bay…barely.
From Tom Paris's Quarters…
Can I…ever forgive myself? Most of the crew did…because I wasn't myself. But, how much was truly myself…and how much wasn't? I wouldn't know, because I'm not one with Alice anymore. I'm not even sure what is me now. Like a day in the life of a foolish cadet, it was all for nothing! No Slipstream. Only a battered and broken holonovel of a joke…and I'm not laughing. I should've listened to Seven. But, one thing's for sure: I'm never going to let myself get carried away by a ship again. Especially a psychotic ship. Wherever I go…I owe myself that promise.