It's... been a while. I'm sorry.

I've got a little more written up for the third chapter, let's see how quickly the muse comes back.

Per usual, I live off feedback. Drop a review - constructive or otherwise!

Mondays was lunch with Al, and after work, Mondays was apartment cleaning day. Tuesday was Rose's day – which usually meant reading a book in the bathtub, but occasionally she'd be inspired enough to pull out her old paints and dust off an unused canvas – and she had lunch with Scorpius. Weasley Wednesday was lunch with Lily and dinner at the Burrow, and Thursdays, she had lunch with both Al and Scorpius.

Rose had stared long and hard at her calendar, counting the number of times the name Al or Scorpius appeared. The math was simple – if she wanted to meet new people, she'd have to rearrange a few things to make time. Namely, erase a few names. Two names in particular.

Shake up your routine, Witch's magazine had said, and Rose winced at how much of her life was simply that – routine. It was time to upset her schedule.

Lily said that she should just tell Al and Scorpius that she needed a break, but that was a Lily tactic. Lily had always been very apt to say as she did, and no amount of logic or arguing could persuade her otherwise. But Rose knew herself, and Rose knew Al and Scorpius. What was she going to say? The boys would never understand her. They'd argue with her until she admitted that the whole thing was stupid, and then she'd let her emotions get trampled on again. Not to mention she just had no idea how to breach the topic in the first place, and – Merlin, did it stress her out just thinking about it.

She just needed to take charge of her own life and enact on what she needed right now. For once in her life, she wasn't going to worry about Al or Scorpius.

Rose scribbled down a memo to Scorpius and a separate one to Al, cancelling all lunch plans for the following week. "Busy week at work, no time to chat," she wrote as an excuse. Scorpius might buy the excuse – might – as he didn't work for the Ministry, but Al would know that her department was actually rather slow this week and if she keeled over and died at the present moment, her manager wouldn't notice for another month at least.

But she faltered, her wand just hovering over the memos. Truth be told, maybe she really was just avoiding them. Maybe Lily was right, and she should just summon whatever Gryffindor courage was leftover from her overly Gryffindor family and confront them.

"Get a grip, Rose," she muttered to herself, and flicked her wand. The memos folded themselves into paper airplanes and zipped off. She could hardly articulate exactly what she wanted to herself, let alone to someone else. She just needed more time to herself to process her feelings, and that was all, Rose decided.

Rose stared at her now cleared desk, adamantly ignoring the churning in the cavity of her chest. Do something, she thought to herself.

Her eyes settled on her copy of Witch's magazine. Get to know the people around you better – join them for lunch or afternoon tea. Tea, she could do. She needed to visit Felix for work anyways, and there wasn't any reason she couldn't brew a larger pot of tea this time.

Rose took a deep breath. This would work. This could be fun.

...

"Knock-knock," Rose said, one hand on the door and the other hand hovering two mugs of tea in front of her.

Felix looked up from his desk and smiled. "Hey, Rose." He nodded at the extra mug. "That for me?"

"Maybe," Rose said. "I was hoping to trade – tea for those files on the Expelliarmus?"

"Done!" Felix immediately declared, slapping a fist down on his table. Waving his wand, he summoned the file and handed it to her. "You just made a terrible trade. These notes have nothing."

Rose shrugged as she carefully leaned down, trying not to spill the tea as she set it on his desk. "I'd like to look at them anyways." As she turned to grabthe file, her eyes caught on the clock in the room and she hesitated.

"Hey," she started, "are you doing anything for lunch?"

"Mmm," Felix said, putting his tea down. "This was brewed perfectly, Rose, thanks. And actually, Marissa and I were thinking about trying out that new food stall that opened up last month. Care to join us for a bite?"

She grinned widely in response. "I'd love to, let me just glance over this file really quick and I'll come meet you here."

"Sounds good," Felix said, raising his mug to her. "See you soon."

Do new things, meet new people. Maybe she wasn't meeting someone new, but getting lunch with Felix and Marissa would at least be different and, in her opinion, a good first step. So, with her tea and her file and her grin, she headed back to her own office.

…

When she came back, she found Scorpius lounging in her seat, reading through her copy of Witch's magazine. And, judging by the way froze slightly when she opened the door, he certainly noticed her entrance – and just deigned not to acknowledge her. At least, not until she cleared her throat loudly, to which he looked up in mock surprise.

"Yes?" he asked, as if it were his office and she was the one who had just barged in.

"Why are you in my chair?" Rose demanded.

He arched an eyebrow and lifted the magazine higher. "Why do you have Witch's magazine?"

He knew that she wasn't much of a magazine subscriber – especially not of the Witch's variety. She had simply bought this particular issue when standing in line for checkout at the bookstore, tempted by the headlined title of 50 WAYS TO MOVE ON FROM YOUR EX. Judging by the page Scorpius had the magazine opened to, he had noticed the headline, too.

The real reason as to why she purchased it was because she thought the magazine might have a few pointers on hobbies she could distract herself with as she tried to reinvent herself. But it wasn't a reason that Scorpius had to know.

"I'm a witch, aren't I?" Rose retorted. "I'm allowed to read Witch's magazine."

"But you don't," Scorpius insisted. And there was something hard in his voice, and Rose wasn't quite sure how to read it. He never used this tone with her before.

"Well, apparently I do," Rose replied. "And what are you doing in the Ministry anyways? You don't work here." Occasionally he'd pop in to pick her up for lunch, if he had wrapped up his work early. But they had lunch on Tuesdays, and today wasn't Tuesday at all.

Not to mention, she had sent him that notice earlier today cancelling lunch plans. Though, to be fair, it hadn't been too long ago since she sent that memo out, and she wondered if he had received it yet.

He spun his feet off of her side file cabinet and grabbed a piece of parchment out of his front robe pocket. "So, I got a letter from you today. Al said he got the same thing."

Of course he and Al would already have talked about that. Rose wondered if they had some kind of secret communicator – she heard Uncle Harry once mention something about a two-way mirror – that they had just conveniently left her out of. Frustration and hurt flared in her chest again, and the space around her heart felt a little too hollow.

"What's it matter? Al cancels on me too, whenever he's got a new witch he's taken a fancy to," she retorted, trying to fill the hollow gap with words. "And what are you doing here? We don't even have lunch on Mondays."

"Your notice, Rose, said all week, so that would affect me, since we have lunch on Tuesdays. We always have lunch on Tuesdays, Rose. I've never canceled," Scorpius said. And it was true – he never let her cancel Tuesday lunches, even when she was busy at work or sick. He'd just grab Chinese takeout and bring it to her, wherever she was. And she did the same for him – only she always brought with her two orders of butter chicken. "And Al said he's staying out of whatever this is, but you've been complaining about not being given any real projects at work, which makes this pretty little note about a busy week" - he took the note, folded it in half, and ripped it - "a damn lie."

He wasn't calling her Rosie anymore. Just Rose. And Rose thought that maybe what she heard in his voice earlier was hurt – hurt that she had made happen. And while on some part of her – some nasty part of her that she's ashamed about – felt gratified in that his chest was hollowing out just as hers was, she felt mostly guilty.

Rose wondered absently if this was the most she'd ever affected him. She'd put up with years of stuffing down her hurt whenever Al and Scorpius told stories of escapades she hadn't been informed of, or listening to them talk about their plans without inviting her. And not being privy to things like Renee.

Just as she opened her mouth to respond, Felix popped in. "Hey, Rose," he said. "Marissa said her meeting ended early, so I'm headed upstairs to meet her now. You still good for lunch?"

Rose blinked. "Yeah, yeah, I'll just set these down." She walked over to the filing cabinet and placed it where Scorpius' feet had been moments before, not making eye contact with her best friend. "I'll talk to you later, Scorp."

She could still feel his gaze when she closed the door behind her.

…

"Because I'm trying, Lils, but the thing is – the thing is, I couldn't even fully enjoy lunch because every few sentences, I'd just go back to thinking how pathetic Scorpius looked sitting at my desk and just wondering how he was doing and feeling kind of guilty – though, Marissa had a really good story about last week when she tried to use a jinxed toilet, I definitely need to hang out with her more - "

"First of all, if you're going to rant about something, don't change the subject," Lily interrupted, poking at her pasta with a fork. It was Weasley Wednesday, and Rose had suggested trying out an Italian place rather than their usual sandwich shop. It was a decision Rose was already regretting, since the restaurant chef seemed to take too strong a fancy to olive oil. "Second of all, and more importantly... still? We're still on this? You haven't just told them?"

Rose faltered. "No," she said quietly, pausing before continuing. "But I haven't had the chance to, yet. You know how Al is. And Scorp has been avoiding me the past two days."

"Fucking hell," Lily muttered impatiently under her breath. "Of course he is, one of his best mates is suddenly pissy at him without reason, and he tries to talk to her but gets rejected both times. You dug yourself into this one, Rosie."

"I know," Rose sighed, tearing pieces of bread absent-mindedly, distracted by the wrenching of her gut.

Lily rolled her eyes. "So, what are you going to do about it?"

"Nothing," Rose said honestly. At Lily's arched eyebrows, Rose persisted, "Al's, well, Al. Al won't bother me until I approach him. He's good about giving people space like that. But Scorp, if I tell Scorp that I feel like I'm suffocating in this friendship – he wouldn't understand. He'd tell me that we can work it out, I'd write his name back into my schedule, and suddenly my life is just Scorpius and Al again and nothing will have changed. And getting to reconnect with people I haven't had a serious conversation with in a while – I'm excited for this, Lils, and I'm not about to give that up."

"Yeah, well," Lily said dryly. "I'm happy for you, Rose, really. You're right, we can't have everything, and if this is what you want... well, then. But your feelings are not the only one involved here, you know?" She sighed, pushing her plate away from her. "Anyways. I'm done with this food and I'm done with this conversation."

Rose blushed. "Sorry, it's just been taking up my mind a lot recently. Also sorry about the food choice, I thought a change might be nice." Rose shook her head, trying to lighten up her thoughts. "Let's talk about you. What's going on with you and Emmet?"

Lily wrinkled her nose and sniffed. "Of all conversation topics we move to," she sighed. "Nothing's going on with me and Emmet. Or, rather, nothing out of the ordinary."

"I thought you were thinking about cutting it off," Rose said conversationally.

"Yeah, I have been. Still am, in fact," Lily agreed. "And there's nothing wrong between us. I like him, sure. I like being around him. I like fucking him."

Rose choked on her water. "Merlin, Lily," she gasped when she had breath. "I'm your cousin!"

"Well, it's true," Lily said unapologetically. "And I care for him, obviously. And sometimes I think I might really like him. And other times I'm mostly ambivalent." Lily shrugged, and despite what she had said moments prior, she lifted her fork for one last bite of her pasta and chewed with a bit of forced effort. "I just thought, I guess," she said finally, "that relationships had a bit more passion than this. Oh, well." She waved a hand in the air. "Let's get the check."

Rose watched her younger cousin amid the business pleasantries – no, thank you, she didn't need a box, and could they please split the bill? - and thought that the fundamental problem was that one of them experienced too many emotions altogether, and the other not enough.

They were ultimately two girls pretending to be women, both paying for overpriced lasagna, neither quite able to handle their feelings.

…

"So, how long are we going to keep avoiding each other for, during these Burrow dinners?"

It was somehow Weasley Wednesday yet again, and the weeks were blowing by too quickly and dragging along too slowly all at once. Rose was exhausted. She had really pushed herself to step out of her comfort zone this past weekend and last minute went to a concert with Marissa's school friends, and all she wanted to do was go home and finish her book.

"Hi, Al," Rose said, the corners of her lips tugging upward slightly. She looked at the cousin that she had ignored for at least two weeks now, and her heart lurched because she was simultaneously missing him and frustrated that she wasn't happy with her life yet. "I don't know. We don't have to avoid each other, I guess."

"But we're still not hanging out," Al clarified.

"No," Rose agreed. "Not yet."

Al stared at Rose for a few seconds, and Rose could tell he was trying to decide how far he wanted to push. His disposition was naturally and desperately curious, which made Al a bigger gossip than anyone Rose had ever met – but he was always careful about treading around emotions.

"What's been going on, Rose?" he asked finally.

Rose hesitated, running possible answers through her head. I'm frustrated that you and Scorp are my best friends, but you two have a bond that I don't have with either of you, or anyone. I'm frustrated that of my close friends, I have only you and Scorp, and I realize I need more than that. I'm frustrated that I'm trying to make friends and I still don't feel a kinship yet in these budding relationships. I'm frustrated that I still feel left out. I'm frustrated that my life is so overwhelmingly busy now and yet so stagnant. "A lot of things," Rose said. "I've been starting to practice yoga a bit. And I'm thinking about joining a book club."

"That's great, Rosie." Silence fell, and it was so unbearably uncomfortable. Being with Al had never felt uncomfortable before. "You'll tell us what's going on, right? Scorp has been going bonkers."

Rose smiled. That had always been a habit of Al's, blaming his concerns on either herself or Scorp. "Yeah, I will."

"And," Al said suddenly, despite himself, "if it's a boy that's the problem, you know you can always talk to us about it, right?"

Ah, the hypothetical boyfriend. "I know." She started to turn away but caught a glimpse of Lily's auburn hair flitting around the corner of her vision. What was that she had said a week or two ago? Your feelings are not the only one involved here. And suddenly, Rose felt a twist of guilt wringing her stomach as she looked at Al's face – which, normally expressive, was utterly restrained – and blurted, "Al – there's, next week, er - "

"Yeah?" Al said quickly.

"Remember Audrey from Hogwarts? Well, she's in an improv group now – and she's got a show coming up next week Thursday and a few of us were going to go see it." Her words were rushed too quickly out of her mouth, and Rose realized it too late. Blushing, she continued, "You know. If you, er, wanted to join us."

Al paused, and try as she might, Rose could not read him. And then he said, "Yeah. Yeah, I think I will. Let me know, won't you?"

…

Moments later, Lily came and threw herself onto the couch next to Rose, nearly spilling her Butterbeer. "Oh, Rosie," she said before cackling madly.

"What?" Rose demanded, confused – and, to be honest, more than a little offended by her little cousin patronizing her. ("Do you want me to remind you what happened at karaoke last year?" she thought about saying, just to shut Lily up – but Rose ultimately elected not to, because she was a kinder and more forgiving spirit than the rest of her bull-headed family.)

"Ah, nothing. I'm sure you'll figure it out," Lily said, smirking. "And I'm sure he'll figure it out too."