oooOOOOOooo

Fortunately, Mom moved closer to our new safe house, so she was actually on the way back. As much as I wanted to see Ella, I hoped she wouldn't be home so Mom and I could really talk freely.

"Max! I was just thinking about you. We need to talk," Mom said as she opened the door with a warm wide smile and a hug. Couldn't get enough of those these days.

When she pulled away and saw my face, she said, "You know already, don't you? Max, I swear, he was just here last night. I didn't have a chance to call yet. I was at the clinic all morning."

"He was here?" Knowing I missed him by one day felt like a punch in the gut. He knew me too well. He knew I'd be here today. The one date I'll never forget.

Mom handed me an envelope. "He left this for you. I didn't read it. He only told me what he wanted me to know. The rest is for you alone."

My hands were shaking as I opened the envelope. Suddenly my mouth was dry and I could hardly swallow. Part of me wanted to know what the letter said. Part of me knew I wouldn't like it. Well duh, if it was good news, he would have told me in person, right? I unfolded the letter and read.

Dear Max,

First of all, I'm not dead. Second, if you're reading this, you know what I'm doing. But here it is, in my own words.

I've met someone. If you've met her (probably) then you know she looks just like you. But not exactly. She's like Dylan. (read between the lines) Jeb and I rescued her and four others from one of the labs we found. They were abandoned, so I brought them with me to train. I don't know if I can really trust Jeb. It was a little too coincidental, finding a matched set for all of us. But I thought if I could train them, they'd be on our side. We've been living together like a family for about 6 months now. I like being the leader. They look up to me. Now I know why you never wanted to give it up. I feel like I have a real purpose. And I still have my blog for the environmental stuff. Maybe someday we'll join forces with you.

I miss you so much. Miranda looks like you, but she's not. She could never be. At first, I sort of pretended she was. I was living in a fantasy world. But she doesn't have your passion, the memories we share, or my heart. That will forever belong to you. No matter what else happens. (again, read between the lines)

Jeb tells me you've moved on, that you and Dylan are together and that you're happy. That's all I ever wanted for you-to be happy. I just wish I was there to see it.

Please don't look for us. Jeb doesn't know where we are. He only sends money and letters. Your mom doesn't know either. Who knows what the future will bring? For now, this is the way it is.

Yours Always,

Fang

P.S. Tell the flock I miss them. So Much.

P.S.S. Don't beat the crap out of Jeb for information. He really doesn't know where I am.

Splat! Splat! Big fat tears fell onto the paper making the ink start to run. Leave it to Fang to make me laugh and cry at the same time. I just stood there numb for what seemed like forever. My mom came up behind me and gave me a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder. I turned around and let her hug me. When the tears finally stopped, I stepped back and sat down on a kitchen stool. Mom handed me a tissue or five.

"Jeb," I spat. "He knew. He knew this whole time and didn't say anything!" My fists were clenched at my sides.

"Fang asked him not to." It sounded like she was defending him.

"Well, he told Fang I was happy, like I forgot all about him or something. And Miranda saw Dylan at the cave. Now he'll really believe it. Why didn't you tell him how I really am?" I asked accusingly.

"He didn't ask. And I didn't tell," she paused. "I think deep down, he didn't really want to know. I think he knew that if he asked me, I would tell him the truth. He couldn't be sure Jeb would."

"What do you mean?" I was confused.

"If I told him that you had moved on with Dylan, and that you were happy, he would be heartbroken. And he would know he did it to himself by breaking your heart first. But that's what Jeb told him already. If I told him you were miserable, again, he would be reminded that he broke your heart and be tempted to come back and set things right," she reasoned.

"Would that be so bad?" I asked quietly.

"Fang's got a purpose. He may not be truly happy without you, but he feels like he's making a difference. He's trying to move on the best he can. Maybe you should too," she brushed the hair out of my face and lifted my chin up. "I want you to be happy too."

Now my own mother was pushing Dylan at me! "Not you too. You think I should be with Dylan, don't you?"

"I think you should be open to possibilities. Fang was your first love. First love doesn't always last. Sometimes, not even second or third love." She gave a half-laugh.

Was she still talking about me? Was she expecting me to go through the whole flock?! She had a weird far off look. Was she talking about herself? Come to think of it, where was Ella's father? I wanted to press that point, but it would have to wait until another time.

"What should I do?"

"First, I think you should figure out how you feel. Not what you think you're supposed to feel, not what someone else tells you to feel. Even if it's painful to admit," she said. She was pretty smart. "So how do you feel?"

I felt my chin quivering. I needed to say it out loud.

"I'm angry. So angry at Fang for leaving us, me. He could have stayed and fought together, like we always did. He once told me he chose me, but he didn't choose me this time," Great, here come the tears again. I haven't cried this much in the last two years!

"And what about Dylan?" she had to ask. "Honestly. You don't have to tell me, but be honest with yourself."

"Okay. I'll think about it," I meant it. Then I realized it was getting late. "When's Ella coming home? I have to go soon."

"Oh, I didn't know you were waiting for her. She's sleeping over at a friend's house. Don't worry, the house is being watched," she said, as if she could read my mind. We all had to be careful these days, what with all those crazy scientists crawling out of the woodwork.

We said our goodbyes and I was off. I was trying to let my mind go and enjoy the wind in my hair. There were so many thoughts going in and out of my head, but all I could really think about was food. When I walked through the door at seven o'clock, eight starving pairs of eyes were glaring at me. Mmmm. Beef stew.

oooOOOOOooo

"Max, you're back!" Angel squealed.

"Yay, we can eat!" yelled Gazzy.

"Smells great, Ig. You guys sit down." I immediately made eye contact with Jeb, "We need to talk."

I walked out onto the deck and waited for him to follow.

"I saw Mom today."

"Oh," he said casually. He glanced back into the house like he knew what was coming and didn't want anyone to hear.

"She gave me a letter. From Fang," I elaborated.

"Max, I di-,"

"Shut up!" I yelled. "The only reason I am not kicking your butt is because Fang's letter told me not to. Why didn't you tell me what he was doing? Or that he's okay? You know I've been worried!"

"Max," a voice interrupted.

"What!" I turned to see it was Dylan.

"You might want to keep it down," he started. "And everyone's getting really hungry."

I turned back to Jeb. "This isn't over. And just so you know, I trust you even less than I did before. For some stupid reason, my mom still does. That's the only reason you're still here." I put my best game face on and walked back into the house.

"Sorry guys. Let's eat."

We didn't leave any scraps. I practically licked my bowl clean. Then Iggy carried in a big fancy cake and put it in the middle of the table. The words Happy Anniversary were written neatly in pink icing across the top. Oh Crap! I forgot. That's why they waited for me, so we could all celebrate together. Either I had a funny look on my face or Angel was in my head again.

"Are you okay Max?" she asked.

"Fine, thanks," I smiled weakly.

"We all miss him," Nudge said.

"Nudge!" at least three of them chimed in.

"What?" she replied. "Everyone's thinking about it."

They didn't forget after all. That made me feel a little better,

Total grumbled, "Great, so is our anniversary always going to be associated with Fang leaving?"

"Total!" again, at least three chimed in.

I stood up. "Total's right. This is supposed to be their night. Jeb, weren't you going to fly them to Paris or something?"

"Oooh, we're going next week. I'm going to try escargot," Total sounded delighted.

"Good," I looked at Jeb. "You stay here and make sure everyone's having fun tonight." I turned to Dylan, "We're going out."

Everyone just stared at me for a few seconds until Nudge finally broke the silence.

"Like. . .on a date?"

Again, silence. I tried not to feel their seven pairs of eyes on me. Akila was too busy licking herself to be aware of the tension in the room.

"Yes," I said. "We'll bring back some ice cream."

Then all eyes were on Dylan. He looked a little flushed, and surprised. I walked to my room to put on some more date-worthy clothes. Nudge and Angel followed me in.

"Can I do your hair?" Nudge squealed.

"It's not that big a deal, Nudge. We're just going for ice cream and to talk."

"Why now?" Angel asked.

"It's time," I answered.

"Are you giving up on Fang?"

I faced her and put my hands on her shoulders. "I would never give up on Fang. Never. But it's been a year and we don't know if he's ever coming back," I answered.

oooOOOOOooo

Dylan and I took everyone's ice cream orders and took off for the nearest cute little town. We found a place that looked like it was lost in time. There was a small riverside park on one side of the street and a row of storefronts on the other. I've always heard of one-horse towns before, and this was exactly what I pictured. We walked down the street toward a corner ice cream parlor. It had wrought iron cafe tables and chairs with mint green and pale pink cushions. Like, right out of the fifties. There was even a juke box in the back playing something I just heard on the radio yesterday. Okay, not so lost in time as I thought after all. We ordered double scoops and decided to sit at the benches across the street by the river.

Dylan finally spoke up. "So, I'm not complaining, but why all of a sudden, are we out together? Alone."

"It was time." That's what I told Angel. I thought he deserved a little more of an explanation, so I continued. "After talking to my mom, I decided I was stuck in a place I didn't want to be."

"The fact that Fang's shacking up with your look-alike had nothing to do with it?" He shot back. Ouch!

"Touché. My mom gave me a letter from him. Long story short, he's doing what he needs to do and he's not coming back right now. Whatever will be, will be." Isn't that a song?

"So, wait for him, don't wait for him. He's not making any promises," he said bluntly.

I sighed, "And neither should I." I did like the way he always cut to the chase. He sometimes stepped on people's feelings, but they always knew where they stood with him. "So, I thought we ought to get to know each other a little better. Beyond the superficial video game playing and martial arts butt kicking."

"I already know everything about you," he said, sounding a little creepy. He tried to make it sound less creepy by adding, "Everything that matters. I mean, obviously I don't know everything. That would make me a stalker or something. I'm not stalking you." He decided he'd put his foot in his mouth about as far as it would go and stopped talking.

It was awkward, but I needed to know what he was thinking. What did he think he knew about me? What made him think he could love me besides Dr. Frankenstein telling him he was supposed to. That was a lot of thinking-I needed action.

"So tell me what you know about me, if you know me so well."

"I know you're beautiful and strong and a great leader," he began.

"No, I mean about me. Inside. What I like, what I don't like, stuff like that." I was sure I had him stumped.

He looked at me thoughtfully. "You like our little house in the woods, but you love the beach best. You say your favorite color is blue, but it's really pink." I looked down at my ring. Fang's ring. "You can't cook. Your favorite food is your mom's chocolate chip cookies. You hate fiercely, you love just as fiercely. The gentler side of you likes wildflowers and the scent of lemons. You look like an angel when you sleep, but you can probably kick my butt from here to Timbuktu. You're like Yin and Yang. Opposites that come together in perfect harmony."

My jaw slowly dropped as I stared in disbelief. I was vaguely aware of ice cream dripping down my arm.

"Did they program all that stuff into you?" I asked, stupidly.

He looked insulted, and rightly so. "I'm not a computer! I know these things because I pay attention. I've watched you and listened. I wanted to get to know the real you. Not the image, the icon they drilled into me."

"You mean like, brainwashing? I always thought it was in your DNA or something." I sounded so stupid, again. But I couldn't stop. "Like being near me gave you goosebumps or butterflies or something. I guess that's kind of . . . " I trailed off, not able to find the right words. Stupid was overused.

"Crazy?" he asked. "Look at us. At this point, nothing is too far fetched. Dr. Gunther-Hagen talked about you every day. He showed me pictures of you. He wanted me to worship you, literally, like a goddess. I didn't know any better."

Talk about being put on a pedestal. I suddenly felt ashamed at the way I've treated him over the past year. It wasn't his fault. Meeting a deity could make anyone obsess. Still, he took the time to find out about me, the person.

"You're a mess," he said as he wiped the ice cream off my arm. "Aren't you going to eat that?"

"What? Oh, yeah." I said, lost in thought. I took a few more licks, then decided I didn't want it after all. I held the cone out to him and raised my eyebrows to ask if he wanted it. He took it and polished it off in no time.

Afterward, he said nonchalantly, "I didn't get goosebumps and butterflies in the beginning, but I do now." Which was about the sweetest thing I'd heard in a long time. "Hey, a music store," he said pointing across the street. "I told Nudge I'd pick up a new CD for us. Come on."

It was like he had no idea that he was dangerously close to sweeping me off my feet.

The store was more crowded than I thought it would be for such a small town. I was busy looking at CDs of people that I had no idea who they were when Dylan walked away from me. For a minute I panicked. I didn't see him anywhere. Did someone take him? Finally, I saw him with a guitar in his hand.

"You play guitar?" I asked. "Since when?"

"I went on line. I've been teaching myself. I'm teaching Iggy, too. He totally rocks. He can just feel it."

Still confused. "We don't have any guitars." Was I that unobservant?

"Jeb got them for us. He thought it would broaden our horizons. I think those were the words he used."

I smiled, "Hmm. I guess once in a while he has a good idea. Play something."

"I'm not really good enough to play in public yet. When I am, you'll be the first to hear. I wrote a song for you."

He wrote a song for me? This boy was campaigning hard. He picked out a Maroon 5 CD for Nudge and we headed down the street. The street lamps were softly glowing and the night sky was clear. We talked about various subjects along the way. The conversation was relatively easy, but in the back of my mind, I kept thinking about what my mom said. Be honest with myself about my feelings for Dylan. He may as well hear them when I do. We were back on the bench under a starry sky. I was working up the courage to say what I had to say.

Start small.

"I had no idea you were learning guitar. I'm impressed."

"I guess there's a lot about me you don't know," he paused. "Do you know anything about me?" He was forcing my hand. I hate that.

"I know your favorite ice cream is Rocky Road." I said sheepishly.

"That doesn't count. I told you that at the ice cream parlor," he sounded a little dejected.

Okay, time to man up. "I know your favorite color is green."

"Oh?" he was looking for more.

"It must be. You spend hours on the deck looking at the greenery." He seemed unimpressed. "You prefer sunrise to sunset." I knew this because he was always up before everyone else, watching it. "You're kind and patient, especially with the younger kids. You let Gazzy beat you at video games. Everyone likes having you around. And you drink out of the milk carton when you think no one's looking." He gave a little 'oops' smile. Then everything I'd been afraid to admit came pouring out.

"When the sun hits your hair and wings, they glow golden. You smell like a spring day. You are brutally honest. Your laugh is infectious. I can hardly look you in the eyes because I'm afraid you can see into my soul. And as hard as I've fought it, I like being around you." I paused and stood. "But I haven't been very nice to you."

I walked toward the river, feeling like a traitor. How could I have any feelings for Dylan when I still loved Fang? But a weight had been lifted. I couldn't fight it any more. He walked to me and took my hands in his.

"I didn't expect to get all that," he swallowed hard. I could tell he was nervous. He slowly pulled his hands behind his back, taking mine with them, forcing me to move closer until our bodies were touching. He tilted his head and leaned in further. When our lips touched, it felt like a spark. His lips were impossibly soft. He moved his hands around my waist and pulled me closer until there was no space between us at all. I finally gave in.