Chapter Two

Two have passed, Loras was thirteen, and his Lord was a man grown and nearing his seventeenth name day. The young Squire, despite his age had become a very capable warrior. He was already using swords, axes, and morning stars to deadly effect. However, he still had much to learn, and his arrogance seemed to blind him.

Loras had already thought he to be very good, even sometimes acted as if he was better than everybody else. He was determined to be the best—and to prove it—he would train each day until he was exhausted.

Loras and Renly tried to see each other often, but it grew more difficult because of Renly's duties as a lord and Loras's training. Loras noticed something different about Renly. He was distant and tired. The squire could tell something was bothering his lord, and hated to see him unhappy.

To Loras, not seeing Renly smile was like not seeing the sun shine. It affected him so much that when the lord wasn't happy neither was the squire. That's just the type of relationship they had.

The young squire quietly entered his lord's chambers. Lord Renly was sitting at a table writing some letters. Not wanting to disturb his lord, he sat on a chair beside the table and waited until he was done so they could spend some time together.

Loras loved watching Renly work. No matter what the lord did, Loras thought it was lovely. He could never take his eyes off his lord's incredible blue eyes, the strong jaw, and the coal black hair. Loras's eyes fixed on Renly's strong arms.

Suddenly, Renly's deep voice shook Loras from his thoughts.

"You wanted to talk about something, didn't you?"

Loras scanned his Lord's chambers there were massive amounts of letters, and books piled to the ceiling, "You're unbelievable Renly," He stated provocatively, "You work too much. You don't sleep. You barely have time for eating. I can tell something is wrong. Why don't you just tell me?"

Then he saw something in his Lord's eyes which concerned him greatly.

"Why don't we just take a walk?" Renly suggested.

"As it pleases, my lord," Loras answered.

His lord rolled his eyes and gave a deep sigh.

"I told you not to call me that when we are alone. I swear if I hear 'my lord' one more time I will—"

"I was teasing you, my lord. Let's go this way."

The squire points in the direction of the high white cliffs overlooking the sea. Renly smirked, he liked it when his squire was bossy.

On the seaward side, there was a 150-foot drop below the wall into the sea. It meant certain death if one was unlucky enough to fall, but the two men loved to stroll there. As they walked with slow steps, their hands were gently bumping against each other. The men were quiet for a long time, which seemed like an eternity to Loras who was not a patient person.

"Tell me, Renly," he started, "Whatever it is, I promise I will not tell anyone."

"It's complicated, Loras," Renly replied slowly, but the squire was in his face before he could continue.

"I don't care. I want to know."

Renly knew Loras only insisted because he was curious and he cared about him strongly, but in that moment he was too irritated to let him know. He pushed his squire's hand away, almost violently.

"Loras, you can't always get what you want."

Normally Loras would probably react more with harsh words since he was impetuous and short-tempered, but not this time. With Renly he had learned to read between the lines.

"What is it that you want so badly, but you can't have?" the Squire inquired.

The lord laughed for a minute then took Loras's hand.

"You know me too well, don't you?" He murmured looking into his squire's hazel eyes. Now Loras was the one to break the grip.

"That is not the answer to my question."

Gently, Renly brushed Loras's hair out of his face. He set his hand on the place where the jaw met the net and began to stroke it tenderly. Renly put his hand on Loras's cheek and rested it there. The Squire felt a shiver of excitement run up and down his spine from his Lord's touch.

Loras loved it when Renly was touching him. Even if the touches were accidently and innocent they still made the little rose's heart beat faster. He had so much unconditional love for his lord that it was almost impossible for him not to stare at Renly with a dreamy look in his eyes.

So lost in the moment, Loras leaned his head against Renly's chest and rested his chin on the Lord's shoulder. It was perfect. Loras had never been happier in his whole life, not with his family, not at home in Highgarden, not even in the training field, like he was here with Renly.

Little squire leaned in closer, his mouth by Renly's ear, "Please tell me what it is that is bothering you." He stepped back to look at Renly's face.

The Lord of Storm's End pulled away from Loras's grip. When there was some distance between them he threw his head back and closed his eyes.

"Loras, please don't make me say it. I'm not even sure you would understand, since it has only been a while ago that we celebrated your thirteenth name day."

For quite some time Loras didn't know what to do or what to say, but he let his emotions get the better of him eventually. Renly was not looking at him, and Loras refused to be ignored. He stood up and moved so close to Renly that their faces were almost touching. He held his lord's face between his hands so he could not look away.

"Say it."

Lord of Storm's End started to breathe heavily.

"I'm sorry, Loras, but I-I can't."

Renly gently moved away from his squire leaving him speechless. Loras watched Renly walk away in the direction of the castle.

When Renly reached his chamber he was a total mess. His eyes watered and the look in them was distant. He wanted to stay with Loras. He wanted to tell him that he had deep feelings for him. Loras was only three and ten, so Renly felt like if he did anything his quire would feel obligate to respond his feelings and it didn't feel right.

Of course for quite some time Renly was aware of how he felt about Loras, but because of these feelings he decided to slow things down, for the squire's sake. There was a brief moment when the lord almost told his squire about his feelings and it took all of Renly's power of will to escape the situation. To break the moment he was dreaming almost every night.