The red warning lights blared through the darkening Tardis.
"Come on, don't do this to me, you dinosaur!" The Doctor mumbled, "You just remodeled yourself, and you're already having trouble?"
The Tardis gave a sputter and brightened for a moment in protest to his insult. The lights went out and the only light left in the Tardis was that of the Matrix itself. Heat was building up inside and The Doctor knew they were falling- fast!
"Come on, old girl!" He urged, "I didn't mean it. You're amazing as Type 40s go, but you've got to try harder!"
He pushed a few buttons and cranked a nob, but it was too late. There was a loud crash and everything went black.
He woke up five minutes later, sprawled on the floor. Or was it an hour later? Or was it even the floor? It looked more like the ceiling to him. Then again, it could have been the floor of a different room.
He stood and looked up. The console shone dimly above him like an old chandelier.
"Just as I thought," he sighed, "You've landed upside down, dear. If you'd call that a landing, that is."
He crawled across the wavy "floor" to the doors, which were a few steps higher than he'd have liked, and flung them wide open to reveal a mob of branches. Pushing them aside, he saw that all around him were monstrous trees and brilliantly colored flowers. This was definitely a tropical climate, probably an island. Not an Earth island, mind you, these trees were native to a much stranger galaxy.
"What a pickle we've gotten ourselves into," The Doctor said to the Tardis. "I'd better find out what's wrong with you."
He stepped back inside and craned his neck to see the console, but he could barely make out the controls. A ladder would have been useful, but it was too dark to go wandering through the Tardis.
The Doctor decided to go outside and determine where he was, for the scanner was out of his reach. He wandered through the pathway of enormous trees until he came to a small stream leading into a cove. His eyes immediately darted to a large object in the sea.
"A pirate ship! A genuine 1780s French pirate ship," he gasped, "What is that doing there?"
"Oi! Turn around slowly," a young voice said.
The Doctor did as instructed and saw a group of young English boys pointing Indian bows and arrows at him.
"Who're you?" the boy in the front asked.
"I'm The Doctor. You can call me 'Doctor'."
"Doctor Who?"
"Just 'Doctor', if you don't mind. Could you tell me where I am?"
"I do mind. I want to know your name!" The boy raised his bow to the level of The Doctor's nose.
"Alright, my name's Smith, Doctor John Smith, now please lower that thing before you hurt somebody."
"John Smith? Are you kidding?"
"My parents had a poor sense of humor."
"Fine," the leader said, "Lower your weapons, boys. He doesn't look like a pirate."
"Could be a disguise," said the smallest boy.
"I assure you, I'm not a pirate. I came here by accident. Can you tell me where I am?"
"I thought you always knew where you were, Doctor," Amy interrupted mockingly.
"I haven't been to every planet in the galaxy, Amy. Even if I had been to this one, it may've been centuries ago and in a different region," The Doctor explained.
"Sorry to hurt your feelings, Doc," Amy smirked.