Apollo- Oh, Hades…
Hades- Yes?
Apollo- No, not you.
Hades- Whatever.
Hera- APOLLO YOU STUPID BIG- HEADED USELESS ARROGANT-
Apollo- HERMES THIS IS ALL YOU'RE FAULT.
Hermes- You don't have to be afraid of old peacock butt.
Hera- ( Turns to Hermes) What- did- you- say?
Hermes- Oh, nothing LORD Hera.
Hera- Hermes!
Hermes- Hey she said my name!
Hera- I WILL KILL YOU!
Hestia- ( Secretly snuffs out Hera's energy ball, then winks at Hermes.)
Hermes- (Whispering.) Thanks Hestia.
Hera- Wh- How- What-
Zeus- Just sit down honey.
Hera- (Sighs.) Alright.
Ares- Hermes!
Hermes- …Oh, what?
Ares- Where is my sword?
Hermes- Well, I certainly didn't give it to cabin 11 at Camp Half- Blood if that's what you're thinking.
Ares- HERMES!
Hermes- No, seriously I didn't. It's right here. (pulls out sword.)
Ares- Give that back.
Hermes- But it's so shiny and sharp and pointy and-
Artemis- (Pulls out fart arrow and shoots it at Hermes.)
Hermes- ( Dodges the arrow, which flies at Aphrodite)
Aphrodite- ( screams)
Artemis- ( Holds out her hand quickly. The arrow is wrapped in silver light. Artemis snaps her fingers and the arrow flies back in her hand.)
Aphrodite- Whew. Thanks.
Artemis- Don't get used to it.
Later that day…
Hermes- ( Squirts the five thousandth toothpaste tube on Apollo's throne. He throws the tube into a huge pile of other toothpaste tubes.)
Apollo- I love me.
Hermes- Oh, crap. ( snaps his fingers and the tubes disappear. He runs off.)
Apollo- ( not paying attention) I am so awesome! ( Sits down) I- what is on my- HERMES!
Hermes- I'm gonna visit Camp now. ( Runs away)
Meeting of the gods….
Ares- Okay, we gotta do something about Hermes.
All gods mutter in agreement.
Demeter- He set my throne on fire!
Apollo- He poured toothpaste all over my throne!
Aphrodite- He needs marriage counseling!
All gods- …
Artemis- Um, Aphrodite,
Aphrodite- Yeah?
Hephaestus- He's not married…
Aphrodite- So?
Persephone- He can't have marriage counseling if he isn't married…
Hades- Where is he, anyway?
Zeus- I called this meeting secretly. We have to stop Hermes's pranks.
Athena- Haven't we established that point already?
Hestia- He almost poured gravy on the hearth!
Hera- Lets banish him!
Zeus- Unfortunately, he is the best messenger I've appointed out of… let's see five- thousand others.
Apollo- He stole my cattle!
Athena- Yes, we all know that Apollo.
Ares- What if Artemis shot like, a slow- motion arrow at him? That's the only reason he gets away with stuff like that.
Artemis- In case you haven't noticed Ares, I'd have to hit him for that to work. He's just to fast for me to hit him.
Ares- Let's just stab the punk.
Athena- If he isn't here then why not prank him?
Apollo- I was just about to ask that Athena.
Athena- ( rolls her eyes.)
Hephaestus- I can rig his throne to electrocute him when he sits on it.
Zeus- Excellent!