chapter 2
Cersei logged in to hotdate
Time to get Jaime back
First, she decided to check up on that piece of shit brother stealer silver chick's profile. She searched "piece of shit silver chick" oh wait she has a name she thought... what was it? Hoenaerys? something tar something.. shit...
"PYCELLE?"
"yes my queen?"
"whats the silver shit's name? the piece of crap with all the dragons and shit?" she snapped her fingers
"daenerys..."
"O YA! THENKS BABEX" cersei exclaimed
daenerys' profile popped up. her display pic was a picture of her wearing a bright yellow dress. Pish. she looks like a soggy omelette. And those chunky white heels O lord.
She flipped to the second pic. Hoenaerys back at it again with those white heels. Damn someone needed new shoes, she cringed. My white vans are so much more stylish HONESTLY. Cersei rolled her eyes.
Next pic. Daenerys posing with a crusty old man.. wait... was that JoRAH MORMONT? ARE THEY GOING OUT?/ HAHAHAhAHAHAHAh wait till Jaime sees this, she smirked.
She clicked on the message option above Daenerys' profile
"lay off my brother"
NEW MESSAGE FROM DAENERYS TARGARYEN
"Your brother? You're the one I'm after hottie..."
"what? have u gone mental, hoenaerys? "
"AWWW YOU HAVE A NICKNAME FOR ME! HOENARYS! THATS SO FRICKING CUUUTE OML FANGIRLING GOTTA TEXT JORAH ABT THIS1!1!"
"..." "I DONT like u"
"but i... i think i love u... i used to have a crush on Margaery but I realised that i like them blonde ;)))))))))"
Cersei vomited. she clicked on BLOCK USER. Never communicated with psyco lesbo sliver haired chick again.
STANNIS BARATHEON POSTED ON YOUR WALL
" HEY BABY WILL YOU BE MY FAIRY DONT SAY MAYBE ;)))) - stannizzle the chizzle fizzle"
Cersei turned pale. She clicked on stannis' profile.
The front picture was a shot of Stannis in red armani sunglasses, a hawaiian t shirt, holding a cocktail with his arms around melisandre and caitlyn stark dressed in swimsuits. it was captioned "mE aNd mY mAiN HoEz :)(: "
Cersei fainted (again)