It had been a particularly rainy month. I watched the trees pass by our car window, whitewashed in the overcast sky. I couldn't get over the fine detail I could take in now as a vampire. Even as the trees flew by I could make out every detail of every leaf, spotting the small bodies of wild life as they went about their lives in the forest. Stefan and I were on our way to Klaus' house. We were to discuss what exactly was going on. Stefan stirred behind the wheel of the car seemingly nervous or unsettled. He reached over and rested his hand on my leg and smiled lightly at me.
"How have you been?" He asked me. He had been busy trying to figure out the details behind the hunters and lately we hadn't spent as much time together.
"I've been doing good in school again. Jeremy has been stressing me out. I'm always afraid I'll get very hungry all the sudden and he'll get in the way." I sighed.
"Why don't you come and stay at the boarding house for a while. Jeremy will be fine. He could probably use a break himself, you know? It's obviously not been easy on him. Maybe until you get completely settled into …..this new life...then you can go back home with Jeremy." He said.
He had a good point but I was wary. He didn't even know that for the last week I had been getting my primary blood source straight from Damon. I was meaning to tell him but the reality of telling him was too much for me to handle. I was finally feeling somewhat comfortable in my own skin since changing and I just couldn't break the peace just yet.
"Yeah, that might work. I definitely agree that Jeremy needs a break from me."
Stefan nodded staring blankly out onto the open road.
"I'm worried about Damon." He said looking over at me.
My stomach flipped in fear. "Why?" I asked.
"He's been going out a lot. I can smell it on him." Stefan's face tightened. "I can smell fresh blood. It's been a while since he did that regularly but he's back in it. I'm afraid of what that means." He shook his head. I laid my head back on the seat realizing the truth behind Damon's frequent intake of fresh blood was because I was frequently taking his.
"I'm sure he'll get over it. It's probably just a flare up from when we went to the college." I said as nonchalant as possible.
"How have you been feeding lately? I know you've been having a lot of trouble." Stefan said looking at me, sending my fear back up the charts.
"I've called Matt over a lot. I've gotten really good at control though." I lied. There were a couple of days that Damon could barely move after I fed. I had to return some at the end. The thing that scared me is that if Damon were alive he would have died before I was even halfway done with what I took from him. I was afraid to go near Matt again now that I was fully satisfied for the first time with Damon.
"Well just remember it's a hard game, dealing with the hunger. It can make you crazy. You know you can always come to me with any problems though." Stefan said, rubbing my leg.
"Yeah I know." I smiled. But inside I felt like that wasn't true at all. Stefan was always a great listener and supporter when I was human but my newly found vampire problems posed an issue for him because he can barely separate the moral part of him from the one who murders on a daily basis.
We pulled into Klaus' driveway and made our way inside. The lavish décor of the inside was even more dated then the boarding house. It was almost like a museum and I found myself getting way too interested in the huge shelves full of amazing artifacts. Stefan had to basically drag me into the living room. I was pleased to see Bonnie sitting on the couch and I was even more pleased to see that Rebecca wasn't even there. Klaus sat on the couch not far from Bonnie which was a strange sight to see.
"Welcome, love." Klaus said handing me a glass of wine. I took it gladly because I hadn't seen Damon yet and I was hungry. Damon came in only a few moments later and took a seat right next to me. He looked over at me and for a moment our eyes locked. We had a secret and it was burning like fire between us. The electricity I felt whenever he was near was flowing freely now and It took me a moment to remember where I was and why.
"Okay, so let's get started." Klaus said pouring his second glass of wine. I chugged down the rest of mine and I could see Damon watching me from the corner of my eye. He new I was hungry and I could sense the worry he was feeling about it. Ever sense I had began blood sharing with him more regularly I had a tendency to feel the emotion he was feeling and the mood that he was in and I knew he felt it with me too. It was just one of the many ways blood sharing connected two vampires and I knew fully, now...why Stefan despised that it happened even once.
"So what's going on?" Bonnie asked, looking at Stefan.
Stefan looked uneasily over at Klaus. Klaus nodded, looking amused and sat back taking a long sip of his wine.
Stefan began pacing as he talked. "As you all know there is a hunter in town and he is a part of what has been called, the original five. They date back all the way to Klaus' time and have lived and killed before here in Mystic Falls. Were still looking into everything. We're trying to find out what their move is so that we can be a step ahead of them and they have these tattoos that only certain people can see. One of those people are Jeremy. From what we know, anyone with the "hunter gene" can see them and can even become very powerful hinters themselves. Obviously, Jeremy has a special interest in Vampires, especially now so we don't have to worry."
"Easier said then done. I want him left out of it." I said, looking over to Klaus. Of course all that was returned was a cocky smile.
"Get to the point, Stefan. Meetings bore me." Damon said.
Stefan rolled his eyes and sighed. "The point Damon, is that they have something that we want."
"Which is?" Bonnie perked up with interest.
"A cure." Stefan said.
We all knew the moment he said it, what he was talking about. We were all dumbfounded and speechless. Even Damon.
Finally, Bonnie broke the silence. "Are you telling me that there is a cure for vampires?"
"Well we don't know for sure if it's for one or many. We're not even exactly sure what were dealing with yet. We just know there's a possibility that there's a cure out there. Klaus and I will be looking further into it. We know that there is a sword we need so later tonight we'll be pouring over them until we find the exact location of where its buried." Stefan explained.
"So after you find your buried treasure, what's your plan?" Damon asked. I could sense an edge of anger in his voice but I wasn't sure what it was. He didn't usually hold back on voicing his opinion especially if he was mad.
"That's where it gets tricky." Klaus said. "There's a map to the cure in the tattoos."
Damon's eyes narrowed. "The tattoos that you can't see?"
Klaus reached over and picked up a piece of paper on the table and handed it to Damon.
"Compliments of Jeremy." Klaus smiled.
I looked at Stefan who glanced at me apologetically. He had told me about Jeremy being forced to draw what he saw on the tattoo. I was still mad about it.
"Does anybody in this room realize how stupid this all sounds or am I alone?" Damon said, tossing the paper onto the table.
"We can't take the chance that it's not serious, Damon." Stefan said. "She's not adapting well. At all. She never wanted this."
"Well we figure that between Stefan and I and a good witch on our side we should be able to locate this cure." Klaus said.
"No, Bonnie. You're not helping with this." I said. She frowned and tilted her head at me. A silent question of why.
"If I can have anything to do with changing you back I'm doing it, Elena." Bonnie said.
"No! Bonnie, I'm tired of you always winding up the one that gets hurt or loses something over helping any of us. I can't do it anymore." I said.
"It doesn't matter ladies." Klaus said interrupting us. "Stefan already requested that we find another witch. He also agrees that Bonnie deserves a break. He looked at his phone. "And it just so happens that she has arrived." The sound of the front door opening sounded into the living room.
"In here darling!" Klaus called out.
To say she was beautiful would be an understatement. She was dazzling. Blonde wavy hair that tumbled all the way down her back. Her face was fresh and radiant. Big blue eyes, perfect nose and pouty lips. She put Rebecca to absolute shame on the pretty blond girl scale. She wore a light lavender dress and tall black boots. She looked like a movie star.
"This is Lacey. She's a friend of mine. A very powerful witch and she's going to be helping us out, so that we can keep dear Bonnie out of trouble." Klaus explained.
Lacey laughed. "Actually were not friends Klaus. I don't even like you that much but you know I'm always willing to help if it's for the greater good." She smiled. Klaus laughed lightly. Not sure if she was joking or serious.
"It's nice to meet you, Bonnie. I always love meeting a fellow witch." She leaned over and shook Bonnie's hand before taking a seat on the other side of Klaus.
Stefan went on to explain how they would try a series of spells to try to locate the cure as well as deciphering the map. I looked over just in time to see that Lacey wasn't paying any attention to Stefan. Something else had caught her attention. Damon. I looked at Damon to see if he noticed her staring at him but he seemed clueless about it and seemed to question my expression with his eyes. I looked back at her and she was listening to Stefan now and pouring a small glass of wine but as soon as she took a sip and glanced over at Damon again. I felt a twinge stirring in my stomach. I could barely stand her even looking at him. I wondered suddenly what the hell was wrong with me. Was it the emotions of a vampire being heightened? I mean I couldn't lie to myself. I had picked Stefan. He was my one and only. But I couldn't just make my feelings for Damon go away without a trace. I wondered if it was the blood sharing. Was it making me feel stronger and also more territorial? I suddenly felt nervous and wanted to get out of the house. Even more I wanted Damon to not be around her.
It suddenly occurred to me that I was being absolutely un reasonable. How could I be in a relationship with his brother and expect him to not even be looked at by another girl. I had to get these feelings under control. It wasn't fair to Damon or Stefan.
I tried to suppress the minor hatred I had for this girl knowing that somewhere down the line Damon would eventually move on and find somebody. Holding on to him on the side was like Katherine. Worse than Katherine. Being a vampire, however. Your emotions are on full volume. Whether you like it or not.
We all finally agreed to meet back over at the boarding house later that night to see if we could quickly find the location of where the sword was buried. Bonnie asked if she could still come. I shot her a glance to let her know I meant that she wasnt going to help.
"I just want to be there. No spells I swear." She said.
I agreed, and we all went our separate ways. Stefan dropped me off at my house to I could pack a bag to stay at the boarding house for a while and to get my car. I stopped in and found Jeremy sitting with two of his friends on the couch playing video games. I smiled, seeing him do some normal guy stuff. When one of his friends took over the controller I asked to speak to him alone for minute.
"What' up?" He said grabbing a box of pop tarts out of the cabinet and sitting in the dining room chair.
"I just wanted you to know I'm just going to go stay at the boarding house for a little while. At least until I can get the hunger under control. But I'm only going if your okay with it." I said.
He took a bite out of a pop tart and seemed to think carefully about it.
"Can I have a party here?" Jeremy grinned.
I laughed. "You know what? Yes...go for it."
His face looked comically surprised.
"Are you being serious?" He asked.
"Actually I am. Just don't burn the house down or get the police called on you." I said.
"There's a good part about this new you." Jeremy laughed. I could see that even in his laughter, that the "new me" was still very bothersome for him.
"Well, have fun, just not too much and please call me if you need me and your welcome over any time. I wont be gone for too too long." I hugged him and headed upstairs to pack a bag. It wasn't until I was in the shower that it finally sank in that there was a possible cure out there. That one day I might actually feel my heart beat again. Be able to have a normal diet. The thought of that only amplified my hunger. I was happy to know that I might have a second chance but I was very hesitant on getting my hopes up too high. I didn't even know if there would be a cure at all or if they could even find it if there was.
I got out of the shower and threw on a t-shirt and underwear. I reached into my closet and grabbed a bag to pack and a pear of jeans to put on.
"There's seriously nothing sexier then little frogs wearing top hats." Damon said with a grin standing right inside my window.
"Omigod! Damon!" I grabbed my jeans and put them on in a flash.
"Relax cupcake. I've seen it all before." He said.
"No you haven't!" I snapped.
"You have a doppelganger. Yes, I have." He smiled and winked.
"Thanks, Damon." I said feeling that stab of jealousy again. I opened my drawers and began pulling cloths out to pack.
"Hey. What's wrong?" Damon said suddenly standing right behind me.
I couldn't tell him that I was worked up about a girl looking at him. I turned around.
"I'm ….hungry." I said. It wasn't a lie but it wasn't the whole truth either.
His face softened. He went and got on the bed and leaned back. I followed after him and sat down next to him, swinging my legs over his and leaning into his neck. I bit down and began to drink. I felt the familiar movement of Damons fingers in my hair and his other hand on my arm. There was something strangely comforting about this. It had become the thing I looked forward to all day. It wasnt about the hunger. I felt happy like this. Safe and at peace. But with every share...I knew it was tying Damon and I tighter and tighter to one another. Then I thought about Lacey staring at Damon and I felt Damon tense up a little when I bit down harder. I felt his hand slip off my arm and I quickly let go and looked at his face. His bright blue eyes looked tired but he managed to smile weakly.
"You weren't kidding about being hungry." He said.
"Damon I'm so sorry. I got carried away. Here." I bit my wrist and held it to his lips. He drank for a moment and let go. He looked at me for a moment, that look of drugged euphoria made him look shockingly beautiful and he leaned forward pushing me down with light force until I laid on my back. He positioned himself over me and leaned down, running his lips lightly across my neck until he bit down. The electricity began to run through me like never before and the hazed euphoria took me over. I began to get a little worked up. Wanting his body closer to me, wanting to feel his hands on me. He let go and I felt his tongue run over the bite. Before I knew it, a sigh escaped my lips. He raised his head and looked at me. I reached up, touching his face, running my thumb over the spot of blood on his lips. Our faces got closer and closer, our lips just about to touch.
"Stop." I could barely get the word out. I jumped up off the bed. He got off the bed and stood in front of me.
"I'm sorry." He said.
"Damon, if were going to do this we have to stop letting it get to us. I made my decision. I'm with Stefan and I'm already lying to him about this. I hate being a vampire, I hate that I need this to get by." I said.
His dark hair hung in his eyes and he straightened out his blue v neck shirt.
"No, you hate needing me. Just say it Elena." He said, looking hurt, which killed me.
"That's not true, Damon." I said.
"Well, at least there's a cure. Maybe soon you'll be human again and you won't need "this" to get by anymore. We can go back to pretending to be friends who are always mildly annoyed with each other. Cause that's our thing right? Love-hate and all that." He looked down at the floor. He couldn't even look at me.
"That's not fair, Damon." I said stepping closer to him.
He looked back up suddenly. Anger and hurt in his eyes. "No, let me tell you what is unfair, Elena. Loving a girl every single day. It doesn't fade, it doesn't let up, it doesn't stop torturing me. But I'll always do anything for you. Always. No matter how much it hurts."
His words knocked the breath out of me. What had I become? "Damon, if you can't separate your feelings from what were doing then we can stop." I said.
He smiled darkly. "If I can't separate my feelings? Am I the only one you're talking to?"
"You have to move on, Damon. I'm with Stefan. I know I haven't made it easy for you but you have to move on." I said. For some reason, it took great effort for me to speak every word of that sentence.
"Noted." Damon said, suddenly the pain on his face was gone. He looked calm and cool. He was a master at that.
He turned to leave.
"Should I start calling, Matt instead?" I asked.
He turned back around. "No. You can't feed on him now. You'll kill him. I'll see you at the house."
He was gone.
I packed my bags as slow as possible. I felt angry. Mostly at myself. I had made a final decision so that I couldn't hurt anyone else. Now I was just continuing to hurt Damon. Lying to Stefan. My life was a wreck. The worst part was the more emotional I felt the hungrier I became and the quicker it came back on.
I finally finished and made the drive to the boarding house. Stefan greeted me at the door with a kiss. He stepped outside with me. I could hear the many voices inside and realized everyone had made it there before me.
"Hey. I just wanted to talk to you alone before we went into all the chaos." Stefan said nodding towards the door.
"Oh. What about?" I asked.
Stefan smiled and held my chin in his hand. "I can't just have a private conversation with my girlfriend"
I smiled, relieved that there was nothing serious on his mind. "Of course." I said.
"I was just wondering how you felt about the cure were hoping to find." He said.
"I guess I'm just really hoping it's real. And findable." I said.
Stefan smiled and nodded. The moon cast light on his face, making him look very pale. He was quiet for a moment and he seemed to be deep in troubled thought.
"Are you ok?" I asked.
He smiled. "You can always tell when I'm not, can't you?" Stefan asked.
"Yeah, pretty much. Talk to me Stefan. What's wrong?" I reached out and took his hand.
"It's just, while Klaus and I are looking for this I know you need someone there. This is the worst time for me to leave you alone and be preoccupied but I'm trying to do what I can to take this burden off of you. Anything." He said.
"What if it could cure more then just me?" I asked him.
He smiled but very faintly. "Let's just hope it's real. And findable." He said and then he hugged me close for a long while.
We eventually made our way back inside. We walked into the living room and everyone was leaned over the small desk behind the couch.
"It looks like it would probably be buried somewhere up here on the north side." Bonnie said to Klaus.
"You're probably right." Klaus said picking up the map. "Stefan come look at this."
"This will make like the sixth "maybe" spot for the sword." Lacey said sitting on the back of the couch, still looking hauntingly beautiful. I felt a tingle of electricity and I turned to see Damon walk into the living room. He had skipped pouring scotch into a glass and was chugging it straight from the bottle.
"Hey sailor, let me get some of that." Lacey laughed, jumping off the back of the couch and taking the bottle right out of Damon's hand and drinking from it. I felt like my body had turned to stone. She handed it back to him and smiled. What bothered me even more was that Damon didn't say anything mean to her, or sarcastic, or even flirtatious. When she turned around to get back on the couch, he smiled and shook his head. He thought she was cute. I could tell.
Bonnie came up to me then, pulling my attention away from watching Lacey stare at Damon.
"Caroline will be back in town from visiting her aunt in a couple of days. We need to all get together. If you're up for it." Bonnie said.
"You have no idea how much I'm up for it." I laughed.
"Wouldn't it be amazing, Elena? If this cure is really out there?" Bonnie asked me, looking more exited then I even felt.
"It would be. I just hope it can help everyone, you know?" I said.
"Yeah. None of the guys asked for this, neither did Caroline." Bonnie said.
"There's a LOT of things you didn't ask for Bonnie. Where's the cure for you?" I said, feeling the rush of hurt over everything Bonnie had been put through and had sacrificed for everyone else.
"Oh, Elena." She said reaching in and hugging me.
"Hey! I wanted to introduce myself." Lacey was suddenly standing there.
"Oh yeah, hi." I smiled "I'm Elena and you of course have met Bonnie."
She smiled and nodded at Bonnie. "I'm so excited about being able to help with this. I heard about how you got turned. Rebecca is such a bitch, right?" Lacey laughed.
"Yeah pretty much." I laughed.
"It's really weird cause I usually can't stand vampires. No offense. But all you guys are really great. And what's up with that dark headed Salvatore? Ugh, he is beautiful." She turned and looked at him over her shoulder. He was helping Klaus and Stefan mark the map.
Bonnie laughed to break the silence. I had stood there like a deer caught in headlights. Not sure what to say unless I was going to kill her. "He's an enter at your own risk, kind of guy."Bonnie joked.
"Uh oh, damaged goods? Heart broken one too many times?" Lacey asked.
Bonnie looked at me not knowing what to say and Lacey picked up on that really quick.
"Oh...you? I thought you were with his brother?" She asked, confused.
"Oh yeah. I finally said being able to speak. "Yeah. Im with Stefan. Damon and I...were just friends. I mean we had some ….its …." I was at a loss of words.
"It's complicated I get it." She smiled. "Well, if you don't mind I'm a sucker for mending a broken heart. He's probably the prettiest guy I've ever seen." She laughed.
I laughed a strange dry laugh. A laugh that was a little too loud and strained. It was enough to make Bonnie glance at me.
"Well, I'm going to make a few drinks. Does anyone want one?" Bonnie said.
"I'll take...five." I said, trying to sound like I was joking.
Lacey left with Bonnie to the kitchen to make drinks and I took Lacey's seat on the back of the couch watching the guys, mostly Damon pour over the map, making the marks on it where they wanted to dig. Damon insisted on the marks being an X and referred to the guys as pirates several times.
"Here you go." Lacey came up behind Damon and handed him the girliest pink martini I had ever seen. Damon raised a brow but then he looked at Lacey's face. She looked so happy and proud of herself that even I felt bad for her for thinking Damon would want that. He stared at her for a minute and then he just kind of laughed and took it. He took a sip of it and cringed a little.
"Well? How is it?" Lacey asked him.
"Delicious." Damon lied with a smile.
She smiled. "Good. Let me know if you want another." She chimed, and turned to join Bonnie.
Stefan and Klaus both stared at Damon holding his pink martini. He stared back for a moment. Then he turned it up and drank every last drop and slammed the glass on the table.
"Yummy." He said even though his face said otherwise.
Klaus and Stefan smiled but they quickly went back to the map.
After a while I stood there talking to Bonnie when I noticed Lacey and Damon talking in the corner of the living room by the book shelf. She reached up and touched his face in a playful way and I felt my gums start to ache. She said something about the professor she had at the college upstate and it made Damon laugh. He genuinely laughed. It was when she stood on her tippie toes to whisper something in his ear that I broke the glass I was holding in my hand. Luckily nobody noticed except for Bonnie.
"Elena, what is wrong with you?" Bonnie asked, leaning down to help me pick up the glass.
"I just haven't learned my own strength yet." I tried to smile like nothing was going through my mind.
"You're lying. I saw you looking at Damon." She said.
"Bonnie, please. I'll explain but wait until we hang out alone." I pleaded with my eyes that she wouldn't take it any further.
"Okay." She finally said, her brows raised.
Great, now what was I going to say to her. The actual truth about me feeding on him. That I chose Stefan but Damon still haunted me and that these days I relied on him more then anyone.
Everyone began to leave, planning an early morning hike to find the buried sword. I saw Damon break off and go into the kitchen alone. I got in there while everyone was distracted,talking in the living room before they left.
"Damon, Bathroom." I jerked his arm and led him into the bathroom on the far side of the house. I led him in there and shut the door behind us.
"Are you ok?" He asked looking concerned. "
"I'm hungry. I'm sorry but I am and I can't stand it." I said.
He looked concerned "Okay okay. No problem." He bit into palm and held it to me. I began to drink, but as hard as I was drinking I couldn't get enough out of his palm. I dropped his hand and pushed him against the wall harder then I meant to.
"Elena. Are you okay? Look at me." He said. I looked up at his face. His dark lashes over his blue eyes were sharp and beautiful with concern as they swept my face looking for signs of a problem.
"I'm just hungry." I whispered. I felt rage and frustration, but I couldn't tell him because I wasn't connecting my jealousy with my hunger. I leaned in and bit his neck, I began to drain blood from him faster then usual. For the first time I heard him whisper, almost groan into my ear to stop.
I kept on. I felt like I couldn't. If I stopped then my moment with him would be over. I had to keep going.
"You have to stop, Elena." He purred into my ear. When his hands slipped out of my hair I realized what I doing and jumped back. I felt the blood running down my chin, even down my neck. Damon stood limp up against the wall, a light sheen of sweat over his pale skin. Dark shadows under his eyes.
"Damon, omigod are you okay?"
He looked up at me and too my wrist, drinking in enough to regain some of his strength. He dropped my hand and looked at me with a somewhat terrified expression.
"I know we kind of had a thing earlier but what's wrong with you?" He asked stepping towards me. I turned away from him and he grabbed my shoulder and turned me back around. "Tell me what's wrong, Elena." He said again.
That's when the bathroom door opened and there was Stefan.
Please let me know what you think! Sry for the delay this time but ive got my whole story arc for this done so it will go by quicker ;). As usual though, please leave reviews. I like to get a good idea of how you guys like it before moving on so let me know :D Thanks for reading.