It's time for the Reviewing Corner! Thanks for reading and taking the time to review- and yes, I have been keeping up with your feedback. It just happens to be easier to respond via chapter than to each individual review.

Sweet blossom89: Thank you… I love history and good characterization- both are like freakin' crack cocaine to me.

Jimmyle311, Voldyne, Rat001, 122boy, starzee, ghosthead8503, and Wondering Hail: Thanks a bunch!

givinglight: Glad you're having fun reading this!

celestial1: Oh my washbucket, I half didn't expect you to review (not a very kind judgment, I know, but someone as smokin' hot and goddess like as you has no real need to consort with us mortals). I hate writing dialogue, seriously. It actually causes me physical pain to, so I'm not surprised that it's stilted. And on a final note- I can't wait to write that scene. Astrid is going to kick some booty and Hiccup's voice is going to crack so hard.

HTTYD. 4ever2010: I'm glad that you're liking it!

ahoykailee: Thanks so much- nothing makes me happier than hearing that I'm not doing the movie some terrible injustice by screwing up characterization!

Foxy'sGirl: Awkwardness and hilarity are the name of the game, my dear. I hope I can continue to get you your fix of both. (Being creepy is awesome).

And to you too, all of you anons:

Joseph: I spelled it like 'Hel' for a reason. In Norse mythology, Hel is the being that presides over her realm of the same name.

Mrs. Lout: Getting into history is something I wish that all writers of this fandom would do… it really does help in terms of story-telling. I hope you like the rest of the story!

The MediatorMercedes: UNF YOU READ IT that makes me so happy. And of COURSE I know who you are… MediatorMercedes? You might as well have just screamed "KENZIE" at the top of your lungs :D

XxHiccup'sGrl101498xX: I think it is the same Mediator... I effing love that series, for the record. And thanks!

So now that that's done... chapter two! Enjoy!

Chapter Two: Hiccup Gets a Brief Lesson on Women

When the sun rose the next morning, Hiccup felt sick. For the very first moment of his blurry consciousness after rising, he'd been firmly convinced that the previous two days had all been a working of his imagination.

But when he came out of his early morning-fog, he realized that, no, he was still engaged to a girl who probably was having a graphic fantasy about murdering him.

'Maybe, just maybe,' he griped inwardly, 'I won't have to worry about actually being married to her if she kills me first.'

He happened to look out of his bedroom window, and was met with an uplifting sight. He had been right about the weather as it turned out- the sky had cleared and was a vivid, rolling blue that meshed with sea at the horizon. The sun had just barely risen above the water, so it was still fairly early.

It was really quite pretty, and it felt like a crime to stay inside on so beautiful a day, so Hiccup decided to venture outside.

As he lumbered out the door, he was met with an extremely excited Toothless, and suddenly remembered promising the dragon a ride. Smiling, Hiccup greeted him in the usual fashion: "Hey Toothless. Wanna go for a ri-"

Now, Hiccup should've known better than to say the "R" word, because before it even finished leaving Hiccup's mouth, the Night Fury pounced upon his owner and licked away at his face like a giant, over-excited scaly kitten.

"Hahahaha- ow Toothless, OW! I can't get your riding gear if you don't let me get up!"

-O-

One thing about flying that Hiccup loved: it never lost its first time feeling. The rush of wind against one's face, the weightlessness, the sheer thrill of being above the clouds; so close to the edges of the sky that you felt you could reach up and touch the very gods themselves… it was always just as thrilling to him as it had been the very first time that he'd flown on Toothless. The feeling of endlessness and dreamlike flight were only furthered by the nearly cloudless sky and bright sun.

He was so caught up in that moment was that he forgot every single care. Hiccup honestly thought that he could've been marrying a draugr, and he still would have felt blissful. (2)

The only bad part of the entire flight was the knowledge that it had to end.

Pushing all thoughts of what would await him when he touched down to the ground again, Hiccup maneuvered Toothless down and…

Oh, the rush! He never got tired of it! The wind whipped his hair back and whistled in his ears, while pure exhilaration coiled in his stomach and rose up into his lungs until he felt it completely necessary to whoop with joy.

Far too soon, Toothless touched solid, uninteresting ground, but even then Hiccup didn't feel the need to head back to the village yet. Instead he took his time wandering in the woods: today was Laugardagur –wash day- and that meant that Hiccup didn't need to be working the forge today. (3)

He smiled and hummed to himself as Toothless trotted alongside him. It felt good to pretend that he had no responsibilities; it was as if he was living purely for his own enjoyment.

But the sun had started to peak in the sky –Hiccup couldn't really believe he'd been out that long- so it seemed like a good idea to get back to the Main Square, or, at the very least, go home.

As Hiccup and Toothless emerged from the edges of the forest and started to make their way back home, Hiccup noticed something: everyone was starting at him. At first he wondered if there was something on his face, or maybe his hair had blown back and stuck that way without him noticing, but after rubbing his face quickly with his hands and patting his hair down nervously, he came to the conclusion that either everybody was simply crazy or-

'Oh dear Thor, what if everyone's heard?'

Now, Berk wasn't a small village in the least, but news traveled fast, so Hiccup supposed that it wouldn't be out of the realm of possibility.

Feeling the heaviness in the pit of his stomach he'd woken up with start to return, he hurried over to base of The Hill, but before he even reached the first foot of incline, he was stopped short by a voice calling his name.

"Hiccup! Everybody's heard the news!"

It was Phlegma the Fierce, short, loud, and well endowed. Hiccup was used to her company, and he regarded her as something of an intimidating aunt.

"Everybody?"

"You bet! The entire village is buzzing," she stopped for a moment, looking up at the sky contemplatively for a moment, "But how would I know about common buzzing? I don't care much for-"

"-gossip," Hiccup finished for her. Phlemga was very outwardly opposed to rumors and tittle-tattle, but everyone knew that she secretly delighted in it. No one dared to point that out though.

"Aye, child!" she laughed, "You've been paying attention!"

Hiccup didn't really know what to say, so he just nodded his head in agreement. Phlegma hoisted the basket she was holding up onto her hip, and dismissed herself politely. Hiccup wondered–as he staggered up The Hill- how much time it'll had actually taken to spread the news over the entire village. Again, Berk wasn't small, but idle tongues spread hearsay very quickly.

After feeding Toothless his lunch, Hiccup limped inside and found that his father wasn't there- doubtless washing up somewhere. Hiccup pulled at his shirt and hacked when he caught a whiff; he didn't smell good at all. It would probably be a good idea to bathe at some point.

'After I eat,' he decided.

Finding food wasn't too difficult, what with it being nearly late summer. After a moment of hunting in cupboards and digging around for a plate, Hiccup settled on smoked salmon- which happened to be his favorite. He ate quickly, as was force of habit.

He grabbed some fairly clean clothes and headed out to find an unoccupied stream to bathe in.

-O-

Being clean was something Hiccup enjoyed very much. He liked smelling like fresh water and soap and not being all gross from a week's worth of grime and muck and general nastiness.

One thing he didn't enjoy was being stared at, and there certainly did seem to be enough of that going on that day. As he returned from the spring, all fresh faced and wet-haired, he noted that some people gave congratulatory nods as he passed by –they approved of the match- and others shook their heads –they obviously didn't. The most peculiar response was when a puff haired girl of about thirteen –who Hiccup recognized as one of the members of his little fan club- walked up to him, almost spoke, and ended up bursting into tears instead. It was deeply embarrassing for all involved, including any onlookers.

Very much unsure of what to do with himself, Hiccup ended up in the Main Square, partly to examine merchandise and partly to people-watch. He was busy looking at a rather impressive set of bows and arrows when he heard someone say his name rather loudly and deliberately.

He spun and came face to one of Astrid's older brothers.

Much to his dismay, he couldn't remember which one it was, because Astrid had three older brothers, spaced only a year apart, and they all looked exactly the same. All he really knew was that a man who was related to Astrid was standing in front of him with an expression more serious than death on his face.

So it was thoroughly surprising when he said, "Hiccup, I just want to thank you."

"Uh, for what, exactly?"

"For getting that she-devil off of our hands," the young man deadpanned, before looking over his shoulder.

Hiccup was now in a rather overwhelming state of confusion, and it was only added to when another brother –he swore up and down that all Hoffersons looked exactly alike- came running up to the two, sputtering and coughing, but otherwise looking like he'd just had the most fun he ever had in his whole life.

"Oddr," the first one said to the other, "what have you done and how did you get away alive?"

This question was answered by an extremely wet and angry looking Astrid, who –even from a distance- could be seen very clearly giving Oddr a rude hand gesture.

The two brothers shared a look, before turning to Hiccup and saying simultaneously, "She's all yours."

They darted off in opposite directions, and Astrid came jogging decisively towards Hiccup.

"Did they say where they're going?" she half demanded, half panted.

"Um, no."

She let out a garbled noise of indignation, and shot Hiccup a look of pure disbelief, as though he knew very well where her brothers were and simply wasn't telling her. She changed her stance for a second, as if she was about to flit off in one direction or the other, but instead she stayed where she was.

For a second, Hiccup debated on whether or not to ask her what had happened, but before he could even open his mouth, she spoke.

"Those jerks thought it would be really funny to push me into a stream. I swear. They'll never grow up."

Even though her words seemed to be laced with anger, a small smile tugged at her lips, like she was not-so-secretly enjoying the situation.

"They were both in on it?" Hiccup asked, now even more bewildered than before. One of them had been talking to him beforehand. Something wasn't adding up in Hiccup's brain.

"Yeah," Astrid replied, smile stretching a little wider, "Oddr might've been the one to actually push me in, but Grettir is the mastermind behind their pranks. He just gets Oddr to do all of his dirty work."

Hiccup nodded in understanding before suddenly –and somewhat shockingly- coming to the conclusion that he knew almost nothing about the girl he was going to marry.

"You have another brother," he started without thinking, "does he ever prank you?"

"Fundinn? No. He never does. He's married and has a kid, so he doesn't have time these days," she paused and looked Hiccup over for a second, "Why do you ask?"

"I was just wondered, is all."

"Oh," she said quickly, before continuing, "Well anyway, Fundinn never really played pranks on me because he just always… treated me like his baby sister."

"You are his baby sister," Hiccup pointed out.

"I know that, it's just weird. He's super protective of me, even though he has his own family now."

There was something strangely satisfying about hearing Astrid talk about the people she loved and had grown up with so freely. Hiccup found himself clinging to every word, so he was more than a little disappointed when Astrid made the motions to leave.

"My mother is probably expecting me back home right about now," she said hurriedly, "it was nice, um, seeing you."

"Yeah, you too."

Something fairly wonderful happened right before Astrid turned to leave: she gave him a small punch on his right shoulder, and planted a quick kiss on cheek, before grinning and bounding away from him like he was on fire.

Her cheeks were flushed bright red, Hiccup noted delightedly.

-O-

Even though he was slightly delirious and very, very happy as he wandered home, Hiccup was equally confused. She'd pretty much gone from being furious with him one day to kissing him the next.

His father still wasn't home when he returned, so Hiccup made a mental note to ask him what the heck was going on. The more time passed, the more curious Hiccup became, the more curious he became, the more it bothered him that Astrid had switched moods. It actually felt like hours before Stoick lumbered through the front door, and Hiccup nearly started jumping up and down when he did.

"Dad! I have to ask you something!"

Stoick was fairly surprised that his son would actually have something to say to him the second he walked through the door. Even if communicating with Hiccup had become slightly easier over the course of the past year, it still tended to consist of awkward conversation. And Hiccup usually only spoke fluently with his father when something was wrong or he was in trouble.

So the chief went about his response with slight caution.

"Yes?"

"What is it with girls?"

Stoick understood a little too clearly, then, the situation that his son was facing. It was a girl problem.

"Well, what exactly seems to be the problem?"

Hiccup heaved a humungous sigh. "Well, one day Astrid is yelling at me, and the next, everything is all fine and normal. I really don't get it."

Stoick the Vast nearly face-palmed. Why did Hiccup seem to have so much trouble understanding the simplest rules of societal function? Of course girls and women were a tricky subject, but it was almost surprising just how little Hiccup knew about them… and truthfully? Stoick didn't much feel like explaining the entire, complicated mess. So instead, he opted for a compressed version of the speech his father had given him when he'd started taking an interest in girls.

"Females," he intoned, "are not stable creatures, Hiccup. Sometimes they love you, and other times, they'll want nothing to do with you. It's the way of nature."

Hiccup's brow furrowed deeply, and he replied slowly, "So… that's it then? How am I supposed to live with that?"

'Time for a brief lesson on women,' Stoick thought with a sudden sense of duty, and after taking a deep breath, he passed onto Hiccup the very same words that had been passed from generations of men to their teenage sons:

"Get used to it, and for the gods' sake, stay out of her way."

2: What is a draugr, you ask? It's a creepy ass member of the living dead, basically, that possesses super strength, inhuman power, and... the ability to change it's weight on demand.

3: Laugardagur, otherwise known as wash day, was the day that Vikings would bathe and get all nice and shiny clean and stuff. It was every Saturday, so I'm kind of taking artistic liberties and treating it like a weekend.

Well. Okay. So this chapter was really more of a filler and a way of developing relationships between characters a little better... but I hope you guys still got some enjoyment out of it! Till next Thursday!