Chapter II- What Happened After

Lily was standing on the doorstep of the Potter Mansion still crying as if the whole world was on the verge of destruction. With none too small an effort, she entered the house and made a beeline to the master bedroom. When she passed the door to the dining room, she heard familiar voices from inside but was in no condition to enter and entertain any guests. So she continued on her way but someone grabbed her arm and pulled her into a hug.

Remus Lupin was trying to take in everything his best friends were trying to tell him about what had happened that Halloween night and how it was because of his other best friend, now former, that it had all happened. He was working under cover for the Order in a werewolf pack in France and could not leave all of a sudden as that would have looked suspicious and that was why he was here right now listening to all that had happened in two months since that night.

He was still a bit shaken by listening to how it had all come so close from going to hell. It was a Godsend that Lily did not believe that the Fidilius was not enough and had taken steps for more protections before that cottage in Gordic's Hollow went under the charm. He knew that because he was the only other person, other than Lily, who knew more than enough about Ancient Runes to use them in practical Defence. Although he had never thought that that would be of any use to them, as he was 100% sure that Voldemort would be more than capable of negating the effects of the Runes. But it seemed that against all odds everything had worked out for the best.

He was a bit annoyed at the time though; because all James and Sirius were talking about were Charlus and all the balls held in the mansion in his honour. He was getting a bad feeling out of this but didn't pay it heed at the moment because he was more than enough aware that both Prongs and Padfoot, no matter how old they got, would always have that immature side of the Marauders in their heart. So he thought it was natural for them to get a little carried away by all the fame of The Boy-Who-Lived; but he knew it was nothing to be worried about. Even if it went far from it was supposed to there was always Lily who would make them come down to Earth so he didn't say anything on the matter.

Just then he heard footsteps from outside the door of the dining room and he knew who that might be so he excused himself, handed Charlus to an eager Sirius and made his way to greet the woman he had started to consider a sister and his other honorary nephew. By the time he got out of the door, Lily was almost to the stairs so he ran after her and grabbed her arm and pulled her into a hug.

Lily was so devastated that, for a couple of seconds, her mind could not formulate any reaction for the predicament she was in at the moment. But then the person who was holding her in their arms pulled her back and she was able to see the face of the stranger, though she was certain that whoever it was it was not a stranger as the wards were up and only those whom they had keyed into the wards could get into the house. Her assessment was correct. It was Remus. His expression, at first, was of relief but then it turned into one of confusion as he no doubt would be surprised by the condition she was in.

"Lily, what is the matter? Is everything okay? Why are you crying? And where is Harry? James told me…."

It was all he could manage as at the sound of Harry's name she started sobbing hysterically and nothing he said or asked comforted her as she wanted nothing more than hold Harry in her arms again. But it was never going to happen. She had made sure of that. So it was in this state that James and Sirius, Charlus in his arms, found them. Then their armada of questions about, first her well-being and then, after taking a look at her empty arms, Harry, started. But she did nothing more than continuing to cry. So Remus suggested taking her into the living room so that she could sit and calm down enough to tell them what had happened.

When Lily was finished explaining everything that had happened and her reasons for why she had done what she had done there were only two things Sirius wanted to do. One he wanted to take Lily to a mind healer and two he wanted to kill old Snivvy for taking his Godson away from him. It was true that he was not paying much attention to Harry but that was just temporary. It would have all toned down after a while; she didn't have to go to the extreme in such a way! He was just going to say something when James started shouting at Lily for all he was worth. That was when Remus silenced James and warned Sirius not to say anything. He normally would not have heeded Moony but the look Remus was giving him made it clear to Sirius that this was not his best friend requesting, this was Remus's wolf demanding for him to stay calm.

"Lily, was this really necessary for you to give up Harry like that? I mean I trust your judgement but was it really that much of importance for you to give away your own son in that manner? And even if what you are saying is true it would not have been like Harry would have been completely neglected. You were still aware of him, so was I and by the reaction James had just shown to your actions it seems that he also cares for him, then why did you take matters in your hands and that too after just two months of observing things? And who is to say that wherever you have sent Harry, he will be well taken care of? You should have at least waited for a couple more months Lily. And can you really trust Severus with your son's life? I mean I'm not saying anything against him or your friendship with him but still he had the Mark. You've heard what it takes to earn that filth which they call the greatest honour and yet you handed your son over to him just like that! What if this is a mistake Lily? What if something happens to Harry in all this….all this SHIT?"

Remus literally shouted the last few sentences/questions at Lily. But she did nothing but stare lifelessly at the wall in front of her which was infuriating not only Remus but all the other recipients of the room. Sirius had had enough and was going to say something when she spoke. Her voice was full of sadness but still very much determined.

"I have lived through this before, Remus. But in my case, I was in Charley's place whereas my sister was in Harry's", this statement alone was enough to force everybody, even Sirius, to think about this whole situation with a new point of view.

"I agree that in time everybody would have come out of their shell and would have started to notice Harry again. But in time it would have gotten worse. People would have constantly compared Harry to the Boy-Who-Lived; he would have been forced to live with that need to prove himself. He would have grown up resenting his twin for being the centre of attention wherever he went. It had been the same with me and Tuni. At first my magic made my parents love and cherish me more because they thought I was special. Then when we grew up, boys would pay more attention to me as I was prettier than her. After my parents' death, it was as though I was just someone she had to tolerate receiving letters from. But I thought it was only because she was getting settled in her new life with her husband. It was the night that I went to invite her to my wedding that she truly severed all ties with me. She didn't even invite me in her house saying that there was no Petunia Evans there, only a Mrs Dursley who did not know me or my parents!"

By this time Lily started crying again and there was nothing said by anyone. Charlus by now was peacefully sleeping, lulled by his mother's soft but sorrowful voice. After drinking some water offered by Remus, Lily started talking again.

"I could take this pain of being away from my baby but I would prefer death before listening to my own son not acknowledging me as his mother. I know I am being selfish and doing this so that I could avoid the pain that would have entered my life sooner rather than later. But I couldn't do that to Harry what had happened to Tuni. I couldn't take his right to have a happy and normal life, and if it had to be achieved from keeping him away from us then so be it."

Then she looked at James with those same dead eyes and said, very quietly, "I am sorry, James. I really am."

James, still silenced by Remus, went and sat beside his wife and held her in his arms while she cried some more and finally fell asleep right there on the couch, being held in her husband's warm arms. James would not admit it yet but could see that whatever Lily had pictured as Harry's life with them was a very close possibility. He was silently crying for his, now lost, son and made a promise to himself that if, not when, if Lily ever wanted another child, he would do everything in his power to make sure that he or she will always feel loved by their parents. He just wished he could see Harry one last time. He now knew that whatever they say about not appreciating something until that something is lost was not far from the truth.

Sirius was ashamed of himself. For the first time in his life, he was feeling regret. He couldn't believe that he had so blatantly ignored his duties as a Godfather and preferred his one Godson over the other just because he thought Charlus was better than Harry. He knew, from now on, he would never blame his mother for what she had done to him, only because he was sorted into some other school house than she had wanted him to, because he had just done the same thing to a barely two-year-old innocent; even worse than what his mother had done to him. That didn't mean that he was going to go running to 12, Grimauld Place to apologize to his mother. No, he was going to go to Snape and make sure that his Godson will be well taken care of; something he should have done a long time ago. He was just about to exit the front door when someone grabbed his hand and turned him around.

"James and Lily need you here, Padfoot. I'll go and talk to Severus."

Sirius was about to argue when he remembered how James looked just now before he left the living room leaving James comforting a wounded mother and caring for his seventeen months old son. So he decided to listen to Moony the second time in a day, a record in itself. If he was not this devastated, Sirius would have cracked a joke about it. Though before Remus left, Sirius said, "Please, make sure he'll be safe and sound, Moony."

"I intend to Sirius, I very much do."

With that Remus went out the open front door and into the chilly December evening, walking out of the wards so he could apparate to Spiner's End.