THE JOURNAL OF CHAD HARTMAN

February 9th

My name is Chad Hartman and I need to tell you everything before I lose who I am.

I just started as an intern at the Night Vale Community Radio Station. This was not by choice. I was taken from school yesterday. I have a twin brother, a little sister, and a father. My mother was taken years ago for reeducation. My twin brother is named Jerry. Jerry Hartman. My sister is named Julie. I have a feeling I will not be seeing them again.

There is a girl here named Emily. She told me that I will most likely see my family twice before they disappear and I am a permanent part of the station. She says I won't remember my family soon. She says I won't need to. I will update more in a couple days.

February 12th

I woke up at my house yesterday. It was quiet and looked exactly the same, except different. It seemed as if they didn't even realize I had been gone for three days. I wanted to mention the radio station but the thoughts were gone. I couldn't open my mouth to tell them anything. I just told Jerry he was awesome and told Julie I loved her. I thanked my dad for being pretty cool and took a picture of my family to put in my pocket.

February 16th

I've been an intern for a week now. It's kind of interesting to be honest. The radio station is the hub of all information in Night Vale. We get to know almost everything. The way our town works is fascinating. Most of the random events that happen are all planned by city council but completely unknown to citizens. The sheriff's secret police are in charge of more than I ever thought and sometimes that is actually a good thing.

I think the most interesting thing I've learned is that most of us are in mortal danger every moment of our lives. Just sitting in our own homes leaves us vulnerable to approximately 146 methods of death and 16,603 possibilities of extreme bodily harm.

February 25th

I think I'm in love. There's an intern here named Neeko. He's amazing. I love everything about him and I know he's been flirting with me since I got here. His short, dark hair is so soft and I just feel like I should be running my hands through it every day of my life. His dark skin is so perfect I get lost just staring at it. His eyes are so dark they rival the void that does a radop show called Techno-Friday.

February 29th

It's leap day today. Leap day in Night Vale has always been surprising. You never know how many February 29th's we're going to have. As an intern though, we learned this year the city will have 5. Five days that are the same but completely different. Today is the first one and Neeko said that everyone who works at the station is coming in for a party. Cecil brings the best drinks and one of the hooded figures that has a show on Tuesdays, is bringing a cake. Emily and I have to clean the big common room and set up for the party. I can update tomorrow.

February 29th- 2

Oh my stars. Neeko and I kissed last night. I don't want to make a big deal about it or anything because we both had been drinking quite a bit. Cecil really did bring the best drinks. I think he knows about me and Neeko because he kept dropping hints all night about how cute we were together.

Anyway the party had been amazing. The techno-void had shown up and sucked all the natural light from the room until there was a full spectrum of intense ultra violet light that synchronized with the techno music. I don't think I've ever danced so much.

After people had started to leave or pass out in the intern break room, Neeko and I went back to the intern living room and were going to go to sleep. I was exhausted and my thoughts were a little cloudy but then Neeko kissed me good night and everything was wonderful.

I woke up this morning with Neeko snuggled up with me in his bed. We hadn't done anything else, but I really could see this being a regular thing in my life.

February 29th- 4

Neeko and I talked about the kiss. He said he had liked me since the second I walked out of the intern storage room. We spent all day yesterday cuddling on the couch in the intern break room and making out. Emily rolled her eyes and tried to look disgusted at our infatuation with each other, but I know she's happy for us. I think some part of her looks sad though. I don't really know why. It's as if she knows something that we don't. I don't think that's really possible because we know almost everything about Night Vale and there's nothing sad scheduled for almost a week. Maybe it's just part of her randomly scheduled personal sadness as given to her by the Sheriff's secret police. Who knows?

February 29th- 5

I realized I never really talk about my duties here at the station. It must seem like it's just one big party here all the time. It's really not, most of the time I'm out gathering information from the town. Since I'm better at interviewing citizens than Emily and Neeko are, I'm usually out doing that. Emily is pretty good at research and spends a lot of time going through the records at city hall or our information databases back at the station. Neeko is starting to dabble with hosting a radio show about love advice. He's not sure if it's going to stick, but he does get some callers from the high school asking about their future love lives. When he's not doing that, he's keeping track of weekly schedules and being the morning board operator. I usually take over and do the evening board operator. It works best since most people don't want to be interviewed at night. Emily takes the afternoon shift.

March 3rd

I don't think I'm going to get out of bed today.

March 6th

Neeko died on March 2nd. We had made love for the first time the night before. It was the greatest thing I think I'll ever do in my entire life. He was so gentle and I got to run my hands though his hair and kiss his soft skin. I know our relationship was fast, but I think he knew he was going to be gone soon. I just wish I had gotten more time with him.

I saw a part of my soul rip from my body at 11 AM that morning and I knew he had died. Then Emily came into the living room an hour later and told me the news. I haven't been out of bed since. I don't even really want to talk about it, but I feel like if I don't, I'll forget him… just like I've forgotten everything else. I can't help but wish that city council would just grant me the right to die. I hate that you have to go out and earn your death. I don't have it in me to live enough to die. I miss everything about him and I know I'll never be whole again. The part of my soul that was bonded with his really did leave my body and I'll never get that back.

Emily tried to cheer me up yesterday. She told me that all interns are fated to die here or to become radio hosts and even then, it's not that great a gig. I can't help but wonder why Neeko had to die when he was doing such a good job at starting up his new show.

March 10th

Cecil took me out of my room today. We walked around the station and he told me that Neeko had made the decision to die as an intern instead of become a host. I'll try and remember the whole conversation.

"But why would he do that? Why would he want to leave me?" I asked Cecil.

"Because to become a radio host means leaving who you used to be." Cecil seemed to lose himself in thoughts but he came back relatively quickly.

I was ridiculously confused.

"Only interns live here at the station. Once you become a host, you have to leave this place on a certain level. You take a life outside and only come back for your show and for other events. You never were an intern. By dying as an intern, Neeko made the decision to stay with you. He would rather die with the memory of you than live without it."

"But what am I supposed to do without him? A part of me is dead Cecil."

"Chad. You will die eventually. And whenever that happens, you will be bonded with him again here in the intern storage room. Neeko knew that. He knew a lot more than he was supposed to know and he wouldn't have wanted you to stay in bed sulking. He would have wanted you to get out of bed and get busy dying."

I told Cecil he was right and thanked him for telling me what I needed to hear.

He has his show tomorrow night and I should probably help Emily get things ready.

March 11th

We got a new intern tonight. It was right after Cecil's show. It's weird because the guy kind of looks like me and I swear I know him from somewhere but I can't remember. His name is Jerry and he has the same last name as me. I guess Hartman is a common last name. The kid seems nice enough. I think he's a bit overwhelmed by the whole situation of becoming an intern. I don't think now is really the best time for the station is all. I mean, I'm still off because of Neeko's death and Emily's been overworked for the past week so she can't even deal with the fact that Neeko is dead. I think I'm going to take more responsibilities so she can get a break for a bit.

March 13th

So I kind of took over training the new kid. We kind of click. He's like the brother I never had. I kept my spot as evening board operator and he went ahead and is starting to learn to be afternoon board operator. I'm doing more of the weekly scheduling that Neeko used to do. I think he was better at it than I am.

March 19th

I found myself looking through Neeko's box in the intern storage room. He has a picture of us from the Leap Day party that one of the secret police member's took. We just call him SP because no one is allowed to know his name. But he does a show Thursday afternoons about public safety. He was taking pictures to keep on record and he made a copy for Neeko. I took it from Neeko's box and keep it under my pillow now. I figure he can have it back after I die or something.

March 28th

I know Cecil told me that things would be okay in the end, but I can't help feeling depressed. I can't seem to care about things the way I'm supposed to. Any other citizen would be taken for reeducation or at least reevaluation by now. But I guess the city just ignores the interns here until we're fated to die. I sometimes wish that I could go back to whatever life I had before the radio station. Did I have a life before the station? Is there life outside the station? Who am I asking these questions to?

April 3rd

We got two new interns today. It's really weird because we never get more than one intern at once. I guess having the extra help around here is pretty nice though. One is a guy named Leland and another is named Brad. They're alright. Brad actually seems to love it here. He doesn't seem to need to adjust at all. He didn't even ask about his family or anything like new interns always do. Leland was all worried about his dying grandmother or someone but he'll get used to it. They always do. I know I did. And Jerry too. He seemed to take to the station pretty well, I think. So Leland and Brand should do okay.

April 15th

It's tax day here in Night Vale. Luckily interns don't have to pay taxes since we're not actually paid anything. But everyone else is freaking out. If you get chosen to pay taxes, you have to give up your first born child if you have any children under 12. If you don't, you have to pay with a minimum of three years off your life. They go into the communal pool of life that is distributed at the end of the year to the needy. People tend to forget that sometimes taxes are for the greater good. Cecil was talking about it on his show and he said that he certainly hopes that people understand the importance of the communal pool of life and he knows that tax season is a grind but we'll all get through it. I think he does a pretty good job of calming people in the community. They seemed to be easier to talk to this week when I went out on interviews. Everyone was friendly and Big Rico even offered me some free pizza when I went down there to talk about his new pizza oven and get the best gossip for Emily's new gossip show she's trying to start.

May 12th

Emily's gone now. I don't know if I feel. Cecil said that city council revoked all feelings for the week though, so it's okay. I think I remember reading a memo about that a couple weeks ago but I just still can't find it in me to care about things anymore.

May 24th

I think that maybe Emily shouldn't have started a gossip radio show. I think the secret police don't want all their evidence to be broadcast to everyone… we've been getting a lot of memos on the matter recently.

June 14th

So Leland is kind of weird lately. He sleeps a lot and he doesn't really talk to anyone. It's not like he was a really talkative guy in the first place, but he does kind of give off this vibe of intense death. I don't think he's going to die anytime soon though, he hasn't been here as long as me and Emily. I mean, I don't really think that time works like that, so I suppose he could die before anyone else. Well, I guess death is funny like that. He- Death that is, not Leland- actually is starting a stand-up comedy show down at the Desert Flower Bowling Alley and Arcade Fun Complex every Wednesday night. It's not too bad of a show.

June 20th

The new dog park looks pretty interesting. I wish I could get closer to it. But it's forbidden and all. Even us almost-journalists aren't allowed anywhere near it. I tried talking to Chester, the hooded figure that has his Tuesday show, about it, but he just sucked all the existing air from the room and I was suddenly standing alone in a room of cold fire. It was pretty easy to find my way out of the room. I just had to think of the third blood stone circle I'd ever used and repeat whatever had been said at that ritual, backwards. The whole ordeal was time consuming- quite literally. I watched the fire consume the time around me but before I knew it, I was back in the intern living room.

July 2nd

So this whole town is a mess. This stupid Glow Cloud thinks it can just waltz into town and rain animal carcasses all around town. All the interns from all community and government workplaces are being forced to clean it all up. It's really annoying. The only benefit is that all us interns get to hang out together and compare internships. I think the most interesting thing I've learned is that there is an internship position at the library. I didn't think anyone could work there ever because of the librarians but hey, we're all wrong at some point in our lives. The girl who got the library internship doesn't talk much. She is usually screaming in terror every time someone looks at her, but she seems nice.

Anyway, so after we clean up every day, most of us go grab a bite to eat at the Moonlite All-Nite Diner. It's not too bad. I think I'm kind of getting used to being around people again and I don't know why but I think life is starting to get a little brighter. It might just be that the sun is coming closer to earth and will soon destroy us all, but I like to think I'm just getting a little more optimistic.

July 15th

Things around the station are crazy. Me and Jerry try to stay clear of their office entirely but it's hard. We're supposed to be helping with contract negotiations but I just don't get the sense that Station Management is very happy with the way things have been running around here. I mean, I know that everyone has gotten a little bit lax on filing the proper reports on time, but as long as the monthly paperwork is filed on time, the daily stuff can be a bit late. It's weird. I just let Leland handle most of the paperwork. He's a paperwork kind of guy.

Sorry, Cecil just asked me to go to the Used and Discount Sporting Goods Store on Flint drive. He needs me to buy a tennis racket or something. I'll write later.

AN: Not exactly proud of this yet. This story is so much more difficult than I ever imagined it would be. Each chapter seems to be taking on it's own format and it's just very complex. So if you guys have any suggestions, let me know. I'm trying to work on this one but it's very intimidating. I'm starting to get more of the ideas down so hopefully it won't be so long before my next update.