A/N: Thanks for the reviews and alerts! As you already know cindysark is writing the companion to this story 'Dress You Up In My Love (After Dark)'
I'm adding links to costume pictures to my profile.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee.
Finn grabbed blindly for his phone, still half asleep.
"Good morning Finn" Rachel's voice was far to loud and far too bright.
"Rachel?" His head was still fuzzy.
"I wanted to congratulate you on your victory, and discuss my ideas for Noah's Monday wardrobe."
"mmhhmm"
"I'm sorry, did I wake you? Should I call back later?"
Finn yawned and sat part way up. "No, no, it's fine. Need to get up anyway. Gotta meet Santana."
"Then I'll make this brief." Without waiting for further invitation, she launched into selling her idea to Finn. "Since it was Noah's ego that initially prompted you to enter this wager, I felt it would be appropriate for his costume to be one of lowly servitude."
"Huh?"
"What I mean is . . . I want him to dress as someone whose job it is to um . . . wait on everyone else."
"Really? You want to make him a waiter?"
"Even better -" Rachel launched into her prepared speech, and within minutes, Finn was in the palm of her hand.
"I like it! But where am I going to get the costume?"
"Don't worry, I'll take care of everything. Will you be delivering the costume to Noah, or will he pick it up at your house?"
"I still gotta work it out with Puck, but I figure we'll meet early at school. I really don't need my mom wondering why Puck is coming by every day and leaving with a mystery bag."
"Well, I always arrive at school quite early, so I'll be able to place the costume in your locker in plenty of time."
"Awesome."
Finn uh and erred for a moment before spitting out the question that had been on his mind. "So um, I'm glad I won and all, Rach, really. I was dreading the costumes, and besides, I think Santana would've killed me if I lost. But . . . well . . . are you mad at Puck or something? You guys like, OK and stuff?"
"Absolutely Finn, we're great, wonderful actually. I promise, I have his best interest at heart. He may even thank me one day." She was glad they were on the phone and Finn couldn't see the very Puck-like smirk on her face. She'd gotten Noah into this situation, and she was determined to make it a good week for him, for both of them. Yes he may thank her, one day soon she hoped.
"OK" Finn found her answer a bit odd, and still wasn't sure why she was doing this, but let it go.
"Thanks again Rach. This is such a great idea! Even better than Becca's idea!"
"Becca's idea?"
oo
Puck was awakened by the feeling of his mattress rocking (and not in the good way). He opened one eye to find a smug looking 11 year old watching him as she continued to bounce on her knees. Upon seeing him awake she thrust a pink piece of paper at his face.
"What?" He snapped, grabbing the paper, crumpling it in the process.
"A list of supplies for Monday."
Puck squinted at the paper. The list started with 15 packs of gum. 15 assorted candy bars (FULL SIZE). And continued in similar fashion for half a page.
"Fuck Bec? The fuck you need all this for? This is enough shit to fill vending machine."
"Language Noah!" Becca looked frighteningly like Puck's Ma as she said that, but there was mischief behind in that reminded him of himself (and another man he preferred not to think about).
"Whatever. Just tell me what you want with all this?"
"Well, you actually aren't that far off. The high school has vending machines, but we don't get squat at the elementary school. I've been thinking. There's quite a bit of lunch money and allowance floating around that place, and with the right stuff, I could probably bring in a nice chunk of it into my pocket."
"So you wanna be a fuckin' candy dealer?"
"I guess you could say that. Just trying to fill an need, you know, giving the people what they want." Becca grinned at him.
"You'll get busted, and then it'll be my ass. You know Ma'll find a way to make this shit my fault."
"Relax. I won't get caught . . . but hey, if you don't want to thats fine. I hope you enjoy your little sit down with Ma and Carol. I'm sure they'd be fascinated by your little bet. Probably a long discussion about how you and Finn need to look out for one another. Stories about the sandbox. Maybe she could get Rabi -"
"Fuck that noise! Fine - gimme the list and get out." She smiled triumphantly and spun for the door. "Wait a sec, Becc. How'd you find out about this shit anyway?"
"I'm eleven, not a moron. We've gone to temple with the Jacob Ben Israel since I was born. You think I don't know about his blog? He's a creepy mother fucker - "
"Language, Bec!" He shot back at her, with a smirk.
"But actually he's pretty useful to a kid sister." She went on as if he'd said nothing.
"I'll expect my candy before bed tonight." She stuck out her tongue, spun on her heels, and left.
Puck groaned and flopped back onto his pillow.
oo
Rachel surveyed the items she had assembled with satisfaction. After trips to the mall, the craft store, the grocery story, the costume shop, and finally her father's closet, she had everything she needed for Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. She liked to be prepared. She carefully packed Monday's items in two bags. She needed everything in order for morning so she could easily slip the bags into Finn's locker undetected. Once she had Monday's costume organized, she stashed the remaining items in the back of her closet. She didn't want anyone to stumble onto them and spoil the fun. She was sure that this week was going to be fantastic.
oo
Puck dragged himself to school early Monday. Rachel had soothed away the sting of loss on Saturday, but as Monday arrived, the magnitude of the situation came back to him. Fuck it. He was a badass, and would rock what-the-fuck-ever Finn came up with. Anyway, Finn wasn't exactly the sharpest bulb or whatever. (Puck wasn't sure if that should make him worry more or less.) He really had no idea what to expect from Finn, but he'd probably be shitty at this humiliation thing. Right? Fuckity fuck fuck fuck! He was sure that this week was going to suck.
Finn was standing at his locker looking pleased with himself. Douche. He extended a canvas bag and Puck groaned.
"Halo loser huh?" Finn challenged. "Looks like your giant ego finally caught up with you."
"Fuck you man. You got lucky."
Puck snatched the bag and turned to go. Finn called after him "I'll give you the rest at lunch."
Puck furrowed his brow and swore again under his breath, wondering what was happening at lunch. He headed for the bathroom to change. Sure, it would be easier to change in the locker room, the bathroom was just closer, that's all. (It's not like he gave two shits about the asswipes in the weight room.)
He waited till he was alone in the bathroom to look in the bag. First he pulled out a black, short sleeve shirt that buttoned up the front. Looked like it might be a little snug, but honestly it didn't look that bad. Then he saw the shorts. Really fuckin' short white shorts. Shit. What the hell was he supposed to be anyway? He pulled out the remaining items. First is a pair of casual white loafers, and second is a small white canvas apron thing containing sunscreen. Two things became clear. The words 'Cabana Boy' written in small blocky letters on the tag of the apron/pouch thing, made the intent of the costume clear. The fact that it all seemed so well coordinated, made it clear that this was not Finn's doing.
Puck's stomach turned a little at the thought of Kurt carefully putting all this together. Fuck. He wasn't a homophobe (anymore). As far as he was concerned, Kurt could do what the fuck he wanted. Granted, he didn't want to think about the details, but whatever, nobody's business. He was not, however, kosher with Kurt dressing him up like a goddamn boy-toy. Puck shuddered at the thought. As he changed into the costume, he resolved to find Kurt. They needed to come to a little understanding about the rest of the week. He checked himself in the mirror before heading out to face the music. Fuck 'em. Good thing he was a sexy motherfucker, he could pull this shit off.
Upon entering the hallway, Puck was relieved when no one seemed to pay much attention to him. This changed pretty quickly when Azimio rounded the corner. He called from the opposite end of the corridor, as he headed straight for Puck. "Is that what your boyfriend dressed you up in? Watch out, you and Finn are letting your homo show." He high-fived another football player as he approached the spot where Puck was standing.
Puck was calling on every ounce of restraint to keep from pounding the bully's face into the locker . Never going to juvie again, never going to juvie again, never going to juvie again. "Fuck you Azimio! You're just pissed that Finn and I both have hot girlfriends and get laid regularly, while you spend Friday nights jerking off to the sound of your sister getting railed by the jock-of-the-week in the next room."
Azimio drew back and launched his fits at Puck's face, but Puck ducked and moved around the larger boy whose fist then slammed into the locker. By the time Azimio looked up from his hand Puck was half way down the hall, flipping him off over his shoulder.
The confrontation had effectively altered the atmosphere in the hallway, and now everyone was paying attention. Whistles and lewd comments were coming from every direction. Puck was used to being noticed, I mean honestly he kind of expected it, but this was a bit much, even for him. He felt an uncertainty that was unnatural to a BAMF like himself. It was like he was moving down the hallway in slow motion, and he couldn't really decipher who was saying what. Fuck 'em. (This was quickly becoming his mantra for the day). He tuned out the chorus of asshats and headed for Rachel's locker as quickly as possible. Suddenly a hand was firmly gripping his ass. He spun around clenching his fists to find Lauren Zizes inches from his face. "You just let me know when your ready for me to rock your world again." He stumbled back a couple of steps and resumed his path toward Rachel a little more quickly. This was going to be a long day.
"I see Finn provided you with a costume." Rachel said casually, but her eyes were clearly drinking in every inch of him, and her cheeks were slightly pink. Puck breathed out a heavy sigh and pulled Rachel into his chest. Her hungry gaze and her warmth against him had his swagger returning in no time.
"I guess you approve?" He teased. "C'mon, I better get you to class."
oo
Kurt found Puck waiting for him outside his 4th period class. As he took in the man-candy outfit, he no longer had any questions about what Rachel was up to. He remembered how she had brightened at the mention of costumes on Friday, and it all made sense.
P uck stepped far enough into Kurt's space to be slightly threatening. "I thought we were cool lately dude. What the fuck?"
"Excuse me? You're going to have to give me a little more to go on here, sweet cheeks."
"You're pushing your luck Kurt." Puck growled quietly.
"Kidding, geez! Why are straight guys so easily threatened? I'm certainly not looking for a Neanderthal like you, but come on! That ensemble just screams 'objectify me'."
"And you had nothing to do with that, I'm sure! Don't play fuckin' stupid. You really expect me to believe Finn came up with this shit? You think Finn even knows what a Cabana Boy is? It has motherfuckin' accessories!" Puck was seething and his voice was getting louder.
"It certainly is well coordinated, and no, I don't think Finn could have pulled this look together, but don't look at me. While I may appreciate the effort, I assure you this was not my doing."
Puck let the last comment slide as he studied Kurt's expression. He seemed very nonchalant, almost dismissive, but he did not seem to be lying. Puck let out a slow breath. "Sorry, dude. Been a long day."
"I suppose your conclusions weren't so ridiculous." Kurt waived the whole thing off with a flick of the wrist, smoothed his bangs, and headed for his next class.
He was curious exactly how Rachel had convinced Finn to do her bidding, so as he took his seat next to him he asked casually, "So, I just ran into Puck. How did you come up with that costume?"
"Uh, well, you know how his ego could like, fill this room? Well I thought he deserved some servant-uh-tude."
"Servitude?"
"Yeah, that."
"So you came up with a Cabana Boy?"
"Y eah. You know, they like fetch things like towels and food and um umbrellas and stuff." Finn repeated what he could remember of Rachel's description. "They're like servants."
Kurt mentally tipped his hat to Rachel. She knew just how to package her idea for Finn.
oo
By lunch time Puck was about four hours past ready to go the fuck home. When he remembered Finn had said something about getting "the rest" of his costume, he groaned, wishing he could just hide out for the next forty-five minutes. No, he wasn't going to puss out. Time to cowboy up and head to the lunchroom. Puck walked directly to the table where most of the gleeks were assembled, ignoring the whistles and catcalls. When he saw that Finn had several small Tupperware containers of fruit which the girls were arranging it on a tray, he groaned again. Looking closer, he noticed that the fruit had been cut in cute little shapes. He began to suspect he knew who Finn's accomplice was. The pineapple cut into perfect stars erased any doubt.
He grabbed Rachel by the elbow, and began dragging her toward the hallway.
"What are you doing?" She squeaked.
"I should ask you the same damn thing. Why the fuck are you helping Hudson?"
"What!"
"Cut the crap. You've met Finn and so have I. Did you think I'd believe he came up with this shit?" Puck gestured to his outfit. "The fruit was cut in goddamn stars! So, yeah, cut the crap."
"Fine, yes, I helped Finn! But let me explain. I did it to help you."
"Oh really? This should be good." Puck leaned against the wall crossing his arms.
"I was curious what Finn had planned for you, so I called to see if I could get any information from him. Finn, being Finn, was easily persuaded to discuss the matter, and once I had all the information, I had no choice but to intervene." Most of that was even true.
Puck raised an eyebrow, still unconvinced.
"Becca offered to help him get the giant milk carton suit from the elementary school. GIANT MILK CARTON, Noah! And can you even imagine what would have happened if he'd gone to Santana?"
She could see he was softening, and took a step closer running her finger down his chest. "Besides, it's sexy."
Puck snaked his arms around her waist. "Course it's sexy baby. It's me." He captured her mouth in a slow sensual kiss, and she knew she'd won him over.
Rachel pulled back slightly, their bodies still pressed together, and whispered breathily "No, I mean really sexy."
"Yeah?"
She kissed just below his ear. "Yeah. . . makes me wonder if you're the best at what you do. If you pride yourself on customer satisfaction."
She looked up at him through her eyelashes and his eyes were dark and intense. "Lets get outta here, like now. I promise, you'll be satisfied."
Rachel pushed away from him, but he held her hips so she couldn't get far. "You know very well we can't do that. I do not take my attendance lightly, and you have an obligation to Finn." Her voice was firm, but laced with a hint of regret. "But I'm sure I could use your services later. Come over about 6:30?"
"What about your dads?"
"They left this morning for a conference in Cleveland. Won't be back till Sunday evening. Surprise."
P uck growled and gave her one last firm kiss, grinding himself against her. "You better get back in there. Imma need a minute. I'm hard a fuck, and these shorts don't hide anything." He winked, and Rachel blushed brightly. She should be used to his frankness by now, but he still managed to embarrass her regularly. She slipped away from him and headed back to the lunchroom.
A few minutes later Puck returned to the lunchroom as well. He approached Finn, eying the tray of fruit. "The fuck am I s'posed to do with that?"
Before Finn could answer, Santana was snapping her fingers and calling out from a table full of Cheerios, "Move your ass Puckerman! Lunch doesn't last all day."
Puck head whipped around to face Santana, then back to Finn. "HELL. NO. I'm wearing the fuckin' costume - fine. If this tray is part of the costume - fine. That's what I agreed to. I did NOT agree to be your bitch's bitch!"
"Hey, that's my girlfriend. Don't call her that!"
"Whatever dude. You know she's a bitch. SHE knows she's a bitch."
"Move it cupcake!" Santana started in again. A couple of the younger cheerios giggled.
"Ooh, I want a cupcake too!" Birttany squealed.
"Rude!" Rachel huffed at Santana, then called to Puck from across the table, "Excuse me sir, may I have some of that over here? " She gave him a little wink.
Puck picked up the tray and headed around the table with a smirk. As he slid into the seat next to her , he raised his eyebrow suggestively. "You can have all of this over here."
H e picked up one of the little pineapple stars and fed it to her, and she sucked his finger slightly into her mouth.
"Get a room . . . and seriously, I was supposed to get fruit."
P uck leaned in for a quick kiss, then slid the tray back across the table to Finn. "You better get this to your woman before she combusts. I'm gonna eat my lunch."
oo
The halls were clearing out as Sam and Finn made their way toward the choir room for rehearsal. "I saw what you made Puck wear. I feel for him dude. At least I didn't have to wear the Rocky Horror shorts to class or anything."
"I wore my underwear in the hallway, remember? I mean, I feel for him too, but its not like he didn't ask for it."
"I'm sure he did man. Sometimes he doesn't know when to quit. I just know I was worried about showing nuttage, and I didn't have to sit in a desk, or bend to pick up books."
"And you know he's gotta be going commando." Finn chuckled a little at that.
"Sure. I mean no way his boxer briefs would work under those shorts."
"Exactly! And boxer briefs are the only kind he wears."
Sam gasped and turned to Finn. "Are we practicing the new choreography today?"
Finn's face twisted. "Oh God, I hope not! There's kicking!"
"Eyes up man, that's all I have to say."
"Ahem, Hello?" Artie interrupted. He and Mike had been trailing the pair for a while.
Finn and Sam turned in surprise.
"I'm a little uncomfortable with the amount of time you two just spent discussing Puckerman's junk." Mike chimed in, looking from Finn to Sam, and back again.
"Word." Artie nodded to him, extending his fist for a bump.
"Screw you. You two had like, all your clothes on for Rocky Horror." Finn almost pouted.
"He's right, you wouldn't understand." Sam agreed solemnly, then looked directly at Artie. "Eyes up man."