CHAPTER 1

CONFESSIONS

OF MAGIC

AND

TRAIN HOLD UPS

San Francisco California

"Beka!" Rebekah Lutz shot up and looked around wildly her hotel room, she could have sworn that she heard her sisters voice just like that night two years ago, she slowly sat up in her bed the dream slowly breathing in and out focusing on her breathe thanks to her training "Why am I dreaming about this again it's been two years. Athena what do you think it means?" Beks didn't have to look around her room to know that her spirit partner was in the room and sensed her terror it had been, after the incident she had the nightmares nightly, now it was rare, but the last few weeks. " I am not sure little one it seems that the goddess is having them too." Beka looked at the lioness in shock she knew that the spirit warriors were all connected but she had not realized that Athena had spoken to the goddess. Rebekah quickly got out of bed and began to light some insets and candles to help clear the dark feelings in her room Her spirit partner patiently waited as her friend finished lighting the candles up.

"What did she say is Lettie alright?" "She is getting the nightmares as often as you I believed it is a sign so does the goddess her time is drawing to an end. After Rebekah speaking she grabbed a bottle of what she didn't care at the moment she wanted to wash the bad taste out of her mouth. The lioness watched carefully at her friend wondering if she was being paranoid or not she knew that Beka was not thinking smart, but she also knew that young woman would get her bearings that was one of the many reasons she enjoyed working with Rebekah.

When Athena first met Rebekah she had many doubts about the young woman's skill and her dedication to protecting the world of magic and her sister. Then Rebekah's determination and willingness to learn new ways of magic shined through and the two never looked back even as Rebekah took on new spirit partners Athena was her top choice. "Rebekah for now she is fine again the merge is taking place as planned and on the plus side the elders have not called for us yet. So truly we don't have to worry. It maybe because it is the anniversary of the battle." Rebekah looked at the lioness thinking quietly about what was said Athena a sky lioness was wise beyond her years, so Beks knew she could trust her word but the young warrior still couldn't help but worry about Lettie she was on the East coast and Rebekah was on the west coast but unless she was told to go she would not leave unless it was serious. She sighed and sat down in a chair next to the balcony

"I know you are right but there is something else bothering me Athena I know you have noticed the magical creatures and users have been becoming more and more restless." Athena sighed she knew Rebekah was right the lioness herself had seen many magical creatures and heard whispers among them as well they were sensing a dark force Athena was hoping that it was wrong just some beginners learning the ways of magic. But she knew better. Rebekah watched the lioness carefully her thoughts running all over her face, while she let the lioness come to her own conclusions, while the spirit animal thought Rebekah stood up and began to look for her suitcase orders or not she was going to go to her sister she missed New York but more importantly she missed Lettie, she missed being able to talk to her sister about everything and nothing at all, she was also curious about this circus Lettie had joined. "HOOT HOOT."

The two females looked to the window balcony to see a gorgeous silver great horned owl was tapping its beak against the glass of the French doors Rebekah smiled she couldn't help it. "HERMES! oh my goodness what are you doing here? oh hold on let me get the door for you." Rebekah happily skipped to the door she was happy to see her grandfather Pablo's familiar messenger. Though she did find it a bit odd and unsettling to see him usually if Papa Pablo wanted to send her a message it would be the pixie messengers Rebekah enjoyed seeing them as well.

She quickly opened the french doors as the majestic great horned owl flew onto her awaiting arm. "Hello little ones it is good to see you two again. Athena my friend how are you?" the wise owls voice reminding Beks of her grandfather and the stories he would tell Lettie, her and all their cousins it made her miss them more than she realized. Athena smiled in her own lion way happy to see her old friend as well. "I am fine as well wise one, it is wonderful to see you too. How are you and your family fairing old friend?" The lioness asked with genuine delight in her eyes. she missed news of home since even though the pixies were very good on letting her know the latest gossip. Hermes puffed up in fatherly pride " Hello little kitten it is very good to see you as well the flock is doing very well we have three new nestlings coming and the pride is having 4 more cubs due soon as well but I will tell you more later. May I please get some water? It was a very long flight even through the portal to California and I am not as young as I use to be hoot hoot."

Rebekah smiled and gently sat the old owl down by the lioness and went to grab a bowl for him she recited the incatation for water soon a sphere of water began to take shape as the two mystical animals watched.

"You old? ha ha ha my wise friend you are still young enough to fly circles around many of the hot shot fliers who claim to be fast." Athena snorted and stretched out further on the sofa as she watched Beks continue to make the water sphere bigger she assumed for the two of them. She also knew that if Hermes was here the council wanted something from her and Rebekah but what she wasn't sure she hoped they were not going to try and stop Rebekah from Going to see Lettie.

Rebekah walked up to the two animals a bowl of water in each hand gentle setting them down as Hermes drank Athena slowly began to lap it up nice and cold just the way we like it Beks certainly takes good care of all animals in and out of her care just like Lettie those two, two peas in a pod. Hermes thought fondly of his partners granddaughters, while Hermes and Athena drank Rebekah began to pack she knew her dream could be nothing but the past reminding her of her past failures but if she was right and she had a deep dark feeling she was Lettie would need her help and the council be damned! Rebekah Lutzero was not going to let her sister down again come hell or high water. She took a quick look around and began to chant some sound blocking spells and sight blocking ones as well no sense in borrowing trouble but grandma always said it is better to be safe than sorry. she thought grimly after the necessary spells were cast, Rebekah felt that she could breathe a little bit easier she than went and grabbed one of her trunks dusted off her hands, she glanced at the two animals both relaxing and decided to start packing after that she would turn in her resignation letter to Wild Bill she knew he would be a little hurt but Annie would understand so would gray crow as well but the older Navajo medicine man would worry too. He had seen the same things Beka had as well, Rebekah looked over at Hermes again and could tell he was not quite ready to talk yet, but she knew when he was ready he would Just like grandpa I will just have to patient Beka thought fondly as she went to her closet and began to take her clothes out of armoire, finally after a few minutes Beks looked at Hermes and Athena she had finished packing two of her trunks.

The owl ruffled his feathers a bit to get even more comfortable before speaking. "I am sure hoot hoot you are wondering why your grandfather sent me here instead of the pixies hoot hoot." Beks nodded her head as she continued to pack her suitcases "Yes the thought did cross my mind I will not lie to you Hermes, not that I am not happy to see you." " Pablo sent me with word from the council about Lettie." oh dear this not going to be good. Athena thought worriedly Rebekah took a deep breath and squared her shoulders. " What do they have to say Hermes if they are going to tell me that I cannot go to my sister they will be greatly disappointed I am sorry my friend but I failed my sister once before and I will not do it again even it means disappointing Grandfather and Grandmother and the rest of the council will be greatly disappointed. "

Rebekah spoke firmly but kindly she had no reason or desire to be rude to her grandfather's familiar when Hermes had helped train Lettie and herself in the art of tracking at night and how to hunt as well. Hermes looked at Athena who seemed to be in complete agreement with the young woman's bold but polite statement "that is good to hear my little chick. " The great horned owl hooted with pride in his voice that made Rebekah stop in her tracks and look over her shoulder at the pair waiting to hear what he had to say next. "the council asked me to ask you to head to New York as soon as possible for two reasons: one to watch out for your sister the council has found out some bad news about Emilio." Rebekah's heart stopped beating for a moment and the pain from the old wound flare up in a nightmare memory. Athena was shocked as well she was certain the monster was dead . "So he is not dead then it looks like you were Beks." The lioness tried her best to sound casual, but she was angry and was having a hell of time trying to hide her anger she knew that they had done a kill shot no one before demon, human, or magical should have or could have survived that shot. "They never found a body did they?" Rebekah asked rhetorically "I should have helped them Benjamin was still getting use to the power of the badger and shark, and the other trappers and hunters did not know that monsters scent as well as I do!"

Rebekah growled now callously throwing things into her trunks not caring about throw the would fit just that they would the faster she packed the better she could feel fire coming off her body but she was not going to calm down not this time. "Child you were knocked out from that battle! DO NOT BLAME YOURSELF NO ONE ELSE DOES!" Hermes squawked angrily Causing Athena and Rebekah to jump in surprise ahhh there is papa's temper Beks thought. "Besides Ben is as good as you are and you know that the join of two or more spirit animals can be tough but he has only gotten better your cousin has been in quite the mood since finding out that he failed, to help you and Lettie you know he and Josie think the world of you too." Hermes gently chided Rebekah, as she stopped and sighed she knew the owl was right he usually was. "It does not make things easier Hermes. I don't blame Ben I am so proud of how he has been able to merge with Tasso and squalo they are two of the hardest to merge with right up there with the sky pride." Beks smirked at Athena who just purred with pride.

" I just don't want to fail my family again I do not want to lose my sister. What if we can't find the one who is meant to be with her she is convinced that just because she has a beard that no one will ever love her."

Beks sighed as she finished packing for the night she was tired more tired than she thought was possible if Emilio was alive No don't borrow trouble yet Rebekah first get to New York and protect Lettie with everything you have "Hermes?" Rebekah just remembered something he said two things the council wanted from her. "What is the second thing the council wants from me?" Hermes looked up and if an owl could smile that was what he was doing. "It is time for the family gathering to make you and Lettie official owners of the family businesses." Now that was a bigger shock to Beks then finding out the Emilio was alive "but what about our lives here in the U.S.?" Athena spoke up then "You know that they will still allow you guys to live your lives you doing whatever you want and Lettie doing the circus this is just to show the royals that they have a strong leader in mind and who better than your fathers oldest and youngest daughters? The two most powerful women of the magical realms the goddess and the sword?" Rebekah sighed what did she want to do with her life she had study to be many things: a doctor, a vet, a seamstress, a cook, a blacksmith, a book keeper, She was a true renaissance woman her parents were proud of both her and Lettie in that regard they held up their end of the grandparents requirements the elders would be very happy about that.

With those thoughts in mind as well as the thoughts of Emilio coming after Lettie, Rebekah tried to go back to sleep knowing tomorrow was going to be a very long day.

New York

The flash of the camera blubs temporarily blinded the bearded lady aka Lettie Lutz but she held on to her smile, she couldn't help it here she was being interviewed by the New York Times for a front page article on the circus and the performers, it also did not hurt that the reporter writing the story was a very attractive man who seemed genuinely interested in Lettie, she could not figure out why PT was being so rude to him though Andrew Baring was a true gentleman and was having a wonderful time with her and her fellow oddities. " Oh my Lettie look who is checking you out again." Charity Van Hope Pt's sister and one of Lettie's closest friends came up behind her as she took a drink of water, she had been up again because of the nightmares finally giving in and calling on her mother's spirit guide to see if they had heard anything strange Diamond, the golden eagle told Lettie as soon as she or her mother knew anything they would get back to her, she promised not to say too much to Sapphire but Lettie knew it would be hard to convince her mother that she was alright Even though the truth is I am not alright the dreams are getting worse and worse. Lettie thought sadly. She looked at Charity who had a cat got into the cream smile on her face. "What on earth is with that smile Charity did Barnum accidentally set himself on fire again?" Lettie looked around to see if she could find Phinn, but she also knew that Char could heal him being gifted with white magic talents Charity was always helping heal those in the circus who were not feeling well or getting bumps and bruises. Jonathan her sweet husband also an accomplished healer enjoyed teasing his brother in law and making bets with him and Philip to see who could outdo each other in crazy stunts. boys will be boys Lettie thought as she continued to look for the men but all she saw was Mr. Baring staring at her when he realized that he was caught he quickly turned away blushing.

"That is why I am smiling, you haven't notice Andrew cannot take his eyes off you? Almost everyone has noticed right Anne?" Anne Wheeler had chosen that moment to come and talk to her two friends the three musketeers as the circus family fondly called the three ladies. "Why yes Charity I did notice that Mr. Baring seems to be unable to take his eyes off our Lovely Miss Lutz." The two women happily giggled at the fact while Lettie just sighed and went to the dressing rooms to fix her makeup. Anne and Charity quickly followed her to the back for some privacy. "You two mean he can't keep his eyes off of this freakish beard."

Lettie Retorted gruffly not letting the hurt show in her voice though the two knew it was showing in her eyes. "Lettie that is not true you are gorgeous with or without your beard. I wish you could see what we see or what many of the men who to see you sing see." Anne Stated firmly she hated to see her friend so down on herself as the circus grew in popularity many of the oddities began to start to love themselves for who they were all of them were proud of what they were unique, all except Lettie. It seemed the more and more popular the circus became the more and more ashamed of her looks she had become. They had all noticed a change in Lettie something was bothering her but no one knew for sure what, they were watching her fall into a deeper and deeper depression, she was also looking more and more worn out too.

"Miss Lutz a moment please Miss Lutz!" The three women turned as one too Mr. Baring from the New York Times rush up to them, Lettie put a polite smile on her face again her publicity face as PT called it when she didn't really want to interact with anyone but was too polite to say no darn Phinn for knowing about that face the curse of being best friends she thought as she walked up to Mr. Baring she took her time to look at him he was a little bit shorter than Phinn was maybe by a few inches HE IS WIMPY LOOKING, Tea muttered in Lettie's mind Lettie as usual ignored the ancient goddess, she knew that Tea thought that she and Phineas were better suited for each other, Andrew did have nice features showing his English back ground. SNORT AGAIN WIMPY AND PALE LOOKS LIKE HE IS A REALTIVE OF THE BLOOD SUCKERS ! TEA THAT IS ENOUGH ! Lettie thought sternly getting annoyed at the ancient goddess' smart aleck remarks.

"Hello again Mr. Baring is there something else I can help you with for the interview?" Lettie asked as the reporter stopped a few inches in front of her needs to work on his personal space. Lettie couldn't help but think. She heard quite giggles and knew it was Anne and Charity convinced that he was more into her than he really was. " Yes ummm actually no Miss. Lutz I was wondering that is if you are not busy if I may call open you for a... a... a date?" Lettie stood stock still almost certain she had heard wrong "a date with me?" she asked glancing behind at Charity and Anne who were doing a terrible job at hiding their excitement the reporter nervously played with his hat, THE GUY IS A WUSS LETTICIA YOU FATHER AND ALL THE MALES IN FAMILY WOULD CHEW HIM UP AND SPIT HIM OUT ! Tea pointed out while laughing. "Yes you I mean you are amazing, kind, smart, and beautiful and I would be absolutely honored if you said yes."

Lettie just stood there trying to figure out the best way to put the reporter down without sounding like a shrew when the four people heard a voice call out . "Lettie there you are I need to go over something's with you for tomorrow night's show." It was Phineas T. Barnum himself and he looked very frazzled to say the least which was very odd for him he hardly ever got ruffled even with the Jenny Lind scandal. Jenny Lind now there was a name Lettie did not want to ever think about or hear again unfortunately she was seeing a lot and not by choice either. Phinn skidded to a halt nearly knocking over Mr. Baring off his feet as Anne, Charity, and Lettie watched in horror the poor newspaper man step in a big pile of elephant poop. "Ooops sorry old chum but I have to take the Lovely Miss. Lutz away for a moment we are planning something very big and we can't spoil the surprise now can we?" PT asked rhetorically not even looking to see if Mr. Baring was alright he quickly took Lettie's hand and began to drag her away.

As Pt led Lettie to the back Tea was howling her spiritual head off with laughter HA HA HA HA HE STEPPED IN ELEPHANT DUNG WAAAAHAHAHA GOOD OLD BARNUAM HE IS NOW OFFICALLY MY KNIGHT IN SHINNING ARMOR AND THAT MAKES HIM YOURS TOO LETTICIA! Enough Tea that was a horrible thing for Barnum to do to Andrew ooh I am going to kill him he had better have the greatest reason for interrupting me. OH THAT IS EASY WHY HE DID IT the goddess snickered HE DIDNT WANT YOU TO GO OUT ON A DATE WITH THAT WET NOODLE. Good grief Tea Barnum does not now or will he ever want me he is too busy with Jenny Lind I still can't believe I saw them a few nights ago. A few nights where Lettie had her heart broken at her best friends secrecy she couldn't believe that she saw Phineas and Jenny Lind together and kissing it killed her knowing that Lind almost destroyed everything that Phineas had worked so hard for what they all had worked so hard for.

"Alright Barnum that is enough where are you taking me and what is so important that you had to drag me away from my private conversation with And... Mr. Baring." Lettie dug her heals into the soft sand of the animal enclosure and gave a hard stare at the ringmaster a man she was sometimes proud to call her best friend. Phineas just stood there a moment staring at Lettie simply entranced by her beauty I wish she realized how stunning she is he thought though he should have been thinking about Jenny in those regards he still thought his best friend was one of the most beautiful women in the world. "Pt...pt...PHINEAS!" Lettie finally yelled out she was feeling very uncomfortable with his staring and with the goddess' sign song of sitting in a tree and kissing and other nonsense like that she was starting to think that the goddess was losing her mind. "ahem sorry about that Lettie and you are welcome there was no real emergency I could tell that you were uncomfortable with Bearing's question to ask you so I thought I would just save you the...uhhh Lettie are you alright you sparking up again." Phineas looked at Lettie with true concern on his face all the while Lettie was trying her hardest not to set the beloved ringmaster on fire. HOW...HOW... HOW... she thought to tea as the flames surronding her body got hotter and hotter. NOW NOW LITTLE ONE HE ONLY THOUGHT HE WAS DOING THE RIGHT THING EVEN THOUGH HE IS JEALOUS. Tea thought desperately trying to calm her soul partner down this was not going to be good she had not seen Lettie this mad since Rebekah and her parents told her she needed to let go of Emilio in hind sight that probably would have been the best choice but Lettie whose beard had caused her nothing but pain and anguish from men and women saw Emilio as her knight in shining and Tea did have her doubts but she wanted Lettie to be happy told her to pursue him now though she knew Barnum was the right man for Lettie sadly though the famous Lutzero temper was coming out like an inferno Tea quickly sent out a call for any avaible water types to come and help just in case Lettie set something or someone on fire.

"You mean to tell me that you thought you were saving me from having to go on a date with a gentleman who is actually interested in me." Lettie spoke softly but with a fiery tone in her voice trying to hide the hurt that she was feeling her best friend was sabotaging her from being happy for a chance that she had not had since Emilio's attack on her. Phineas took a step back as more and more flames appeared around the bearded lady why is she getting so angry at me I was only trying to help she herself has said that she was not interested in dating I told that pencil necked pipsqueak that too. Pt thought with anger as he remembered the conversation he had with the reporter how the greasy man kept asking questions that he had no right to ask of his Lettie devouring her chest with his eyes.

"He was no gentleman Lettie I can tell you that right now just by looking at him." Phineas huffed annoyed that his best friend was not showing the proper gratitude to him and for his efforts, "how do you know if he is a gentleman or not Barnum? are you some sort of mind reader? cause the last time I checked the only mind reader we have here is Imogene and she doesn't go around snooping into other peoples personal affairs unless it is for the show so please enlighten me on how you know that Andrew is not a gentleman?" Lettie practically hissed at first all Phineas could do was stare at her she was a sight to behold wild and free determined and graceful. I should not be thinking of her this way I should be thinking of Jenny this way but. "Because he is a man and he was staring at you in a way no man should stare at you like you are nothing but a quick roll in the hay! I am just trying to be honest with you Lettie!" Phineas finally yelled Lettie stopped for a moment a flash of hurt showing in her dark chocolate brown eyes but Phineas ignored them he was angry why didn't she see he was only trying to protect her trying to get her to trust him ever since that night when he came in on her having a nightmare he had been watching more closely and he was worried but now, now he was angry and he didn't know why "WHY CAN'T YOU TRUST ME LETTIE I AM YOUR FRIEND I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN HONEST WITH YOU HE ONLY WANTS ONE THING FROM YOU!" he began to pace as Lettie stood there feeling the tears of water and fire try to fall. Neither of the two noticed that the circus family had come to where the animals were being held hearing them argue. Even Caroline and Helen Phineas' nieces were there both scared they had never seen their uncle and favorite circus lady so angry at each other. "Mommy why is uncle Phinn yelling at Lettie like this I don't like it." Caroline whispered Helen nodded both little girls had tears gathering in their little eyes Charity quickly gathered her girls into a hug " You see sweet hearts sometimes adults do and say silly things when they don't realize they are in love don't worry though everything will be fine."

Charity tried to reassure the girls although she herself was quite worried.

Lettie was seething now completely ignoring the goddess' calm voice or trying to calm her down she gave into the fire she felt. "HONEST HUH OH ALRIGHT THAN HOW ABOUT YOU BEING HONEST ABOUT STILL SEEING JENNY LIND I MEAN HELL SHE ALMOST DESTROYED EVERYTHING WE HERE AT THE CIRCUS HAVE WORKED FOR BUT SINCE YOU ARE SLEEPING WITH HER WHY NOT SHARE THE GOOD NEWS WITH EVERYONE! WELL BARNUAM WHY NOT!" The gasps of the room barely reached the two friends ears the blood rushing through them a torrential storm of emotion. "How how did you know about that." Phineas asked quietly he thought no one knew that he had been meeting with Jenny but it wasn't just for sex she was trying to get him to allow her to rejoin the circus and yes there had been some kissing involved. "I saw you and her together on Wednesday night ..." another gasp this time from Anne Lettie had told her she had just thought she saw Barnum and Jenny together and Anne decided to trust Lettie's word at the time. "She cares for me which is more than I can say for you Lettie you have been acting like I am the devil or something you have become so frigid I may have been doing Baring a favor saving him from you!" He yelled out "SMACK!" Phineas' head whipped to one side at the force of Lettie's slap she could not believe what he had just said she didn't care for him? "Alright that is enough Phineas Lettie you two should be ashamed of yourselves." Philip had pushed his way through everyone aft W.D. went to get him to let him know Pt was going at it with Lettie at first Philip laughed he couldn't believe it Lettie and Pt were best friends hell they were so in love with each other it was pathetic.

But when his soon to be brother in law said that they were yelling Philip rushed to stop them before something stupid and hurtful would be said unfortunately it looked like he was too late. Phineas stared he could still feel the heat from Lettie's slap he couldn't believe it she actually slapped him or punched now he wasn't sure but he was sure of one thing his spitfire could pack a punch. Lettie gasped what had she done she couldn't believe she hit her best friend the man who helped her heart heal to trust people outside of her family again. "I don't care about you right. well if that is how you see it I am going to leave the show for a few days I obviously do not belong here. I am sorry everyone for my behavior good bye." With that before anyone else could say anything Lettie rushed away to the outside of the circus tent she hailed a carriage and left, all the while tears streaming down her face in waterfall type force.

No one could breathe, let alone think or move until a two small little girls ran up to their uncle hitting him on his legs and stomach. Caroline and Helen did not understand why their uncle had said those mean things to Lettie they knew he was in love with her like their daddy was in love with their mommy like Phil and Anne were in love, so why was he being so mean to Lettie she cared about him so much. She cared about everyone like when Helen was sick and Their mommy was too and daddy was on a business trip trying to get home it was Lettie who stayed up with all the girls and took care of them then went on to perform at the circus like she wasn't exhausted.

"WHY UNCLE PHIN WHY DID YOU SAY THOSE MEAN THINGS TO LETTIE YOU LOVE LETTIE UNCLE PHIN NOW SHE IS NEVER GOING TO COME BACK WHY WHY WHY!" they two girls cried in unison Phineas couldn't move he couldn't breathe or think all he could hear were the last words she said to him the words no one else heard or saw what she said. " IF I DIDN'T CARE ABOUT YOU PHINEAS TAYLOR BARNUAM WHY THE HELL DO I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!" why indeed do you really love me Lettie then why are you shutting me out who is Emilio and what did he do to hurt you... I guess I am no better than he is. Phineas thought sadly as he gently walked away from his circus family Charity began to go to him but was held back by Jonathan "No my light we must let him decide what to do. This is his mess we cannot clean it up for him this time no matter how badly we want too." He softly spoke his deep voice resounding with everyone in the circus.

"Okay everyone go ahead and head home we are well enough prepared for tomorrow's show get some rest and hopefully Lettie does come back." Phillip said not bothering to hide the concern etched on his young face, Anne slowly walked up to her fiancée and held his hand. "Do you think she will stay away from the circus Phil?" She asked softly knowing that even though everyone else was talking she wanted to keep her fears down some thought she was not coming back others thought she would one thing was certain though the heart of the circus had disappeared and it would take a miracle to bring the breaded lady back. "NO she won't. " Philip stubbornly stated "she cares too much about all of us especially Phinn no matter how badly they have hurt each other they always seem to find their way back to each other. Maybe it is their magical gifts but I know their hearts are meant to be like ours my pink angel." Phil said as he brought his and Anne's hands up to his lips to gently kiss her hand.