B is for Boyfriend

"Please, allow me." Timmy slipped in most gracefully beside the young lady seated at the bar, hand sliding its way before hers. Ahh, paying for her drink...a sly move, indeed. Sure to win a few points with the fair-haired beauty who'd caught his eye this evening.

"Uhm..." She smiled his direction, but with a laugh in her eyes. Not the reaction he'd anticipated, not nearly. As a matter of fact, she appeared positively perplexed by the gesture.

"I'm sorry, have I...have I offended you somehow?"

"No, not at all, it's just...your boyfriend won't mind?"

Timmy labored to speak. "I...my...p-pardon?"

The woman was pointing. Timmy turned a slow, stiff circle to spot in the distance of the club an idiot of a man, standing with drink in hand, perusing the scene as though he were part of it; dancing an idiot's dance with uninterested women to music he didn't really like.

Timmy turned slowly back towards the woman with a long, defeated sigh. "No."

"Oh...I just meant...I'm sorry, I've seen you guys in here together before. A lot. Like, a lot a lot, and the way you guys act together, I just assumed..."

Timmy blinked heavily, searching his brain and the room for answers. "Th-the way we...wh-what do you-"

Another woman joined the scene then, coming up behind Timmy's prospect with a drunken giggle...an excited buzz pursued.

"Mandy! This guy just paid for my drink!"

The new woman gasped out a laugh, looking Timmy over. "Wait, this guy? But won't his-"

"They're not!"

"No way!"

Timmy gripped his head, which began to throb uncontrollably.

"Wait," shot in the bartender, leaning in towards the women. "They're not?"

Timmy shot his eyes towards the man, jaw gaping. "Really? Seriously?"

"Well, you pay for all his drinks."

"I'm his...! I'm not his...! Okay, you know what, never mind." Timmy offered the most courteous smile he could to the former object of his affections. "Do enjoy the drink, and if you're at all interested, I do ensure you that I'm not at all-"

"Hey, Tim..." Timmy flinched at the sound of Russell's voice. Hadn't he just been halfway across the club, dancing like a moron? Why was he here now, lurking just behind him? Some sort of morbid sixth sense bent on destroying every aspect of his existence? Yes. Yes, of course.

Timmy turned to Russell, feet rushing in an attempt to usher him away. "Sir, I think it best if we just-"

"This place is mega lame, you wanna get outta here? Go have ourselves a good time?"

"Mm...w-well..."

"Catch a late dinner or something?" Russell tilted his head thoughtfully, voice lilting lightly. "Y'know, you've been working pretty hard. I've been riding you so much, lately..."

"Ohhh, please, sir, I implore you..." Timmy held his head in his hands as the three strangers at the bar looked on in bewilderment.

"And you know what, you really deserve it. I don't tell you this enough, but you've been doing a great job, too, you really put your back into it."

Timmy spun sharply back towards the bar in desperation, attempting to laugh off the situation. "Now, I know how this looks, but there's been a...a quite ridiculous misunderstanding as it were, you see." He flipped back towards Russell. "Sir, if you would please explain to these lovely individuals the nature of our relationship?"

"Hey, man," the bartender countered casually. "I get it, it's cool. You've called him 'sir' enough times...I've seen plenty of subs and doms in my day, I don't judge."

Timmy's eyes closed down slowly; he heard the soft giggle of the women behind him.

And from Russell came a pathetic: "Wait, what...?" Timmy had snatched him by the arm and led him halfway across the club before Russell bothered speaking again, the situation having finally clicked within his brain. "Ohhh my god, they think you're gay?"

It wasn't until they were outside that Timmy chose to speak. "They think we're gay. Another fine establishment we can no longer utilize."

Russell sighed out with a grumble as he followed Timmy down the sidewalk. "Damn it, why does that keep happening? You really throw off my game."