Author's notes:
Thank you so much Enid/Deliverance Territory for your kind/empathetic/compassionate words. Lol! Maraming Salamat! I found few loose ends when I reread this chapter; I added few sentences to tie them up with the rest of the story. I couldn't tell you which are those because someone is reading right now… Lol! ***Sssshhhh…****
To each and everyone who read and/or reviewed this fic, I'm sending a basket full of thanks to you! To those who wanted or needed another installment of the fic, the waiting is over… Here ya go! Chapter one!
Chapter 1: Blue and Lavender
Flashback – Year 2004
Metropolis Rail Transit, 5:55 pm
I stood there watching people pass by. Watching reunions and parting of people. Some were smiling; others were crying. Some were frowning; others were patiently waiting just like me.I tapped my right foot while putting the earphone from my iPod. I tried to search for an FM station but I failed to find a right station, one of my likings. With additional attempts to scroll down each station, I decided to click the White Snake file folder on my gadget and enjoy the music. It was more than an hour since I opted to sit on a bench and I wondered that it wasn't his type to make me wait for that long. He was the one who made the promise that if we were really meant for each other, he would be here, and I would be here. I did. I really did. But it was just an hour… Maybe he was stuck in traffic or he needed to attend some errands. I opened my back pack and found M & Ms. I was a little hungry. I always loved this kid stuff, throwing candies on the air and catching them one by one with my mouth. It was funny, I admitted, but it would keep me busy while waiting for him.
I continued to wrap up my mind on whatever reason he might have to why he wasn't still here and let me waiting.
Metropolis (2003)
"I don't know what our future can offer us. I really want us to grow old together – though I know it's too early for me to say, but it's simply the way I feel for you." He chuckled. "How I wish I can stay with you longer than I needed, but I just can't."
I looked up at him, confused and nervous of what was going to happen. "What do you mean?"
"I need to go somewhere; I need to fulfill my duty. It's so hard to choose, but I really need to do this."
My heart ached when I understood what he meant. He was leaving and he couldn't choose me. Of course, I must be open-minded; having that fast-paced relationship was destined to stop as summer ended. I tried to hide what I felt, but my voice betrayed me. "I understand." I didn't ask him to explain further why he was leaving. It wasn't right. I didn't have the right to stop him from saving the world. It was his duty, as he told me a week ago. I knew he was special and he shared his big heart to everyone who needed his help. Of course, I shouldn't be that selfish – though I wished I could. I wished I could tell him that he shouldn't worry about the rest of the world. Maybe there were other people who had abilities, just like him – capable of saving the world too – but I couldn't voice it out. I knew he was doing the right thing and it also meant I had to let him go. I could sense that he was hurting as much I did. I caught spark of tears from his eyes.
"Will you wait for me?"I didn't know how to answer him. Was I capable of waiting for a man, when we were both unsure of what the future might unfold? I wasn't a futuristic woman. I always lived on the present, taking one step at a time. I always knew what to say, but this time, I was speechless.
"Will you wait for me?"The words echoed on my mind. One year had passed since the last time I saw him. Though the way I felt for him never faded. Sometimes I was too surprised that I still had these feelings for him, despite the fact that our relationship didn't last that long. Maybe he was too gifted to hold my heart like that. Nobody did such a thing to me. It was just him.
I shifted my gaze on the floor, my mind was too full of what ifs and if only. He gently cupped my face with his two hands, taking the sight of him while keeping himself hopeful about what was I going to say. It took me thirty seconds until I finally realized that I nodded as I reached out to him for a tight embrace. I wanted to be strong for him, but at that moment I knew I wasn't.
One year. Here I was. Waiting like time was passing by so slowly. I opened my bag for the umpteenth time because I needed to get my two favorite things in the world. I always had them. I used these things whenever I felt that I needed to say something but I couldn't. I forgot where I placed the first one where I wrote the words "you will always be here". Maybe I dropped it somewhere. I dug; my bag seemed like a deep well. Lucky for me, I found another stone. I sighed. I was wishing so hard that like the stone I could see him tonight. I scribbled the words and left it on my seat as I stood and disappeared within the rest of the crowd.
"Where are you?"
Metropolis Rail Transit (2004)
Sitting on a bench, Clark was contented watching people walking, talking, and hugging. He was completely tired from everything. He felt as if something was lacking. He felt incomplete, despite the fact of his almost perfect relationship with Lana. He contented himself by looking at the floor as memories of her flooded his mind.
Smallville, Kansas (2004) - Two months earlier
I'd been too exhausted from a day's work. Like in the old days, I went up the loft, lay my back on the couch and drifted off to sleep after a minute. I wondered if I was really resting because my mind was still functioning. Looking around, I was not in the barn after all. I was standing in a park watching people pass before me. It seemed like they were oblivious to my presence. Nobody cared that I was there. Then there was this boy, around five years old –maybe more - was staring at his new toy, a Transformer robot if I was not mistaken. I stared at him for a while, but the boy looked so confused after playing with his robot. He turned around, saying "Mommy? Daddy?" Was he missing? I didn't know. Maybe his parents were just there, but he wasn't sure where they were. The little boy wandered until he was already in the center of the crowd. Within an instant, a car was losing its brakes, and I had to save him. Everything happened in slow motion. The rushed of the wind took over me as I ran towards him, but I failed. I was like a ghost, without any flesh and blood, that passed through him. But then, there was this man, he pushed the boy out of the road. A loud bang. The boy was saved. The man was not. People screamed. I stood there, watching helplessly.
Then another scene… A monster… Fallen buildings… A bloodied hero lying in the dark alley… His clothes were torn… His eyes were closed… He wasn't breathing…
Then I heard, "Clark." I saw her familiar face, crying in pain and agony. Then there was silence.
"Clark." I shook my head. I wasn't thinking enough. My mind was blurry like my own vision.
"Clark, you're dreaming." A young petite woman was kneeling beside me. Her brown eyes were staring at me with too much worry.
"Lana." I suddenly sit, my hand was still holding my head, and feeling like tons of rubbles had fell over my head.
"What's bothering you?" She asked.
"Just like before, I dreamt of a boy saved by a man. The man didn't survive. I couldn't save him. I was just watching the scenery, like a movie it flashed before me."
I put my two arms on my knees, my hands were pressed on my forehead while she stayed there, sitting in front of me. I didn't want to remember everything. I blocked my subconscious mind to open up and reveal everything to me. I was in a coma for months, in an unknown place surrounded by strangers who later on became my extended family. Pieces of memories were regained, like Smallville and Lana, so I bid my farewell to them and found the place where I truly belonged. I knew the things that happened to me were my entire fault. I was too coward to accept my destiny unlike him. Or maybe I didn't want to be like him, a shadow behind a perfect hero. I wanted to have my own life, separate from the responsibilities of the world. I just wanted a normal life with her. With Lana – my childhood sweetheart. Was I too selfish? Because despite of everything, she was the one I had ever needed, wasn't she?
"It's okay Clark, it's just a dream." She reached out for me, I hugged her back, but I couldn't set aside the fear that was creeping on me. Who was that boy? Who was that man? I couldn't tell. Their faces were unfamiliar, for now. What if it was real? Was that a premonition? Or had it already happened somewhere in my past? Somewhere in past, which I had buried a long time ago.
Then I heard her voice again. "Come on. Let's go downstairs. I prepared our dinner, your favorite."
"When did you arrive from Paris?" I frowned a little. "You could have called me, so I could pick you up at the airport."
She held my hand – and like the old habits – I held hers back. "There's nothing to worry about, I just wanted to surprise you." She put on her sweetest smile, my heart melted at the sight. This was the one I always looked forward to, every time she was here and spent her time with me, when the outside world seemed so busy. I stared down at her and I kissed her. It was the normal thing to do with your girlfriend after months of not seeing her, right? I lost years of my memory and she wasn't included there. She had been with me almost one-third of my life.
I wanted to tell Lana everything about what had happened to me last year, but I couldn't. Something was holding me back and I couldn't explain what or why. With the kind of relationship we had - the on and off type –she was still the only thing that was left for me. I couldn't put her in danger, so I lied. I lied, just like in the old times. Lana always begged for me to trust her –and yes- I do trust her. But I couldn't sacrifice her safety by telling her my secret. Him. He did it; he did tell his girlfriend everything about his origins and powers, and in the end he couldn't make it. Now, I had to fulfill his promise to her out of gratitude for saving my life. Was it fair? I really didn't know. I was so confuse of all the flashes of memory right before me. Were they mine or someone else? But his facial features were the same as mine; we had the same built, and height. What was the difference? It was the bravery that I could see through his eyes. I didn't have that.
"Hey, are you still wearing your plaids and primary colors?" She said while she cut her steak.
"Yes, I'm comfortable with these ones and so with the others." I smiled then I put the food on my mouth and chewed. I knew one of Lana's best traits was her ability to cook food like a professional chef, but tonight, it was tasteless – at least on my stand point.
"They're all worn-out; would you just throw them away? I bought you new ones, you know. For sure they'll suit you." She happily declared.
I smiled, but did she see that I wasn't? I loved these clothes; they're the ones that suited me not the others.
"You know what, Clark? There are so many couples who wanted me to be their wedding planner in Paris. My co-owner accepted about four weddings in a month." She paused as her eyes sparkled filled with excitement. I chose to hear her endless stories about her new career. It was her dream… to become famous in her chosen path. I had to be genuinely happy for her, but wondered where I was in her life. I had to be a very supportive boyfriend, though I was hurting. I wouldn't admit it, but hearing her plans, I could tell that I wasn't included.
"That means you would have to stay in Europe for a long time?" I wanted to hide what I felt at the moment, but I know she sensed it by the tone of my voice.
Lana looked up. "You know you can come with me." My answer was not so hopeful.
I shook my head. "Europe is not for me. I can't leave this farm. This is the only place where I can associate myself with. I inherited this from my parents." I avoided her gaze. I knew where this topic would lead us… Another fight. And I was sick and tired of it, but I was still hoping that we could work things out. Another hope… Another endless wish…
She whispered loud enough to be heard with normal hearing. "Clark, please understand. You know since we were teens that this is what I wanted to do. And I'd been able to reach this status because of your advices and support. You were always there for me throughout the ups and downs. Now that I'm almost there, please don't tell me you're giving up on me."
I shifted my gaze to the side.
"Clark, are you willing to wait for me when I come back?" Her voice was almost shaking. She was pleading for my answer.
Still not looking at Lana, I said, "I don't know." I stood and left her there. I wanted to be alone and clear my head. I drove kilometers away from her. I really didn't want to count all the things that I had done for her. But whatever those sacrifices were, was she worth them all? One part of my brain said yes but the other said the exact opposite.
Again, I heard his voice. 'It's not right to ask anything in return every time you give something for the one you love. You must give it for free. If she does, let it grow by cultivating it and if it's not, be contented that you're able to feel it in your heart.'
I decided to go back to where I came from. I opened the door at the farm house and saw Lana there, standing and waiting for me. Her eyes were misty and reddish from crying. "Clark, I'm…"
"Sshhh… I'm sorry, it's my fault." I enveloped her in a hug, one that she returned equally. "I promise I'll wait for you." She sobbed when she heard my answer. I carried her in my arms protectively. I carefully placed her in my Mom's bed. I could sense that she was just too exhausted, just like me.
"Clark, can you stay with me throughout the night?" She asked while her eyes were almost half-closed.
"Of course, I'll be here for you." I answered, trying to wash away the emptiness I felt within.
Metropolis Rail Transit (2004)
'There were too many promises, was I capable of fulfilling them all?' Clark couldn't answer his own question. He opened the velvet box, looking at the bracelet. Today was the day he promised to someone that he would be here. Who was he? Who was she? The voice in his head kept telling him that he must be here and when he found her here he must not let her go – no matter what. He blinked, still feeling the little pinches he had before. Trying to ease the pain, he kept the box in his jacket.
Clark glanced at his watch, 6 pm. Then, there he saw a stone with this words "you will always be here." He looked around. He smiled for the first time, though he had no idea where it came from. Standing few feet away from him was a girl on her mid-twenties. Wearing a lavender tank top and faded jeans, he could only see her face sideways. She was busy throwing M & Ms candy, one by one, and catching each piece with her mouth. A crooked smile formed on his lips, gazing at the lady showing such child-like habit. Then she sat back, taking something from her back pack – she was really annoyed by not finding what she was looking. A smile was painted on her lips when she took out a small stone and a black pen from her bag. He was really intrigued by this woman. She stood up, put her dark glasses on and walked away leaving a small rock on her seat. Clark stood and went straight to where she was before, he picked it up, and it read, "Where are you?" Two rocks. Same hand written. Was she the one?
With all the hustle and hurry of the world, Clark never got to see her again. She disappeared within the crowd. But he needed to fulfill his promise to him so he stayed as he kept on staring with the things he was holding until someone said, "Excuse me, I think those are mine." He looked up and was stunned by the beauty in front of him. Though she didn't smile, he could tell that she was as confused as he was. She was the lady with the lavender tank top.
TBC
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