Hey everyone! I needed to take a little break from Four Letters right now, so I decided to make this little monstrosity. Cause who doesn't need to see me floundering to give you guys silly puns? Set during EARLY season 13, if Gabe had been with them. Just… since it's Sabriel, it's obviously more dirty. I just didn't want to change the rating. So take caution. :)
•~•~•~•~•
"Hey, Samsquatch!" Gabe was lying on his back across the pool table they owned, staring at Sam's ass as he moved throughout the kitchen. "Cas and Dean are gone, want to…" He trailed off suggestive, winking at Sam.
Sam turned to look at him strangely. "Gabe. Dinner."
"But Sammmyyyyy…" Gabe whined, sticking a brigt red lollipop into his mouth and sucking on it.
Sam rolled his eyes and walked over to Gabe, squatting down to his level and looking into his honey golden eyes. "Dinner." He whispered.
As Sam made to stand up, Gabe grabbed his collar. "No, don't leave me! Not without a goodbye kiss! I've been so lonely without you..."
Sam rolled his eyes. "Fine." He slowly pulled Gabe's mouth to his, kissing him thoroughly and tantalizingly. When they finally parted, they were both breathing hard.
"Gee, Sammy, you give me moose bumps when you do that." Gabe smirked at his boyfriend, pleased with himself.
Sam got up and left the room.
"Sammy, come on, wait! It was a little funny, right?"
Another moment of silence.
"Sammy?"
•~•~•~•~•
There was a tense silence, as Dean and Sam stood, just staring at each other. Dean's jaw was set, Sam's hands angrily balled into fists. This was not the first time they had argued about this, but both of them had been yelling at each other for a while now, and had just stopped.
Sam broke the cautious silence once more. "He's not a monster, Dean."
"Well you don't know if he'll go darkside. I'm just saying, when he does, I'll have to be there to deal with him, because you can't kill the spawn of Lucifer."
"Dean, he's so much more than that! Jack has the potential to be good. He doesn't have to be like Lucifer!"
"But-"
Dean's remark was interrupted by Gabe walking through the room, stuffing doughnuts into his face. "Awkward…" He muttered through the doughnut. "Dean, Sammy's pretty unamoosed right now, I suggest backing off until he's a little happier."
Sam left the room.
"Is that all you came through here to do?"
"Well, make that master pun and let you know the kid's been listening to everything you've been saying. He's right over there. Ciao!" Gabriel walked through, and continued stuffing doughnuts into his mouth as fast as he could.
"Shit." Dean breathed out.
•~•~•~•~•
Cas and Sam were discussing ways that Jack's powers might work, and the mysterious rift to another dimension that he had summoned, when Sam suddenly felt tiny fingers combing through the silky back of his head of hair.
He almost jumped a foot in the air, even after he realized that it was Gabriel. "Gabe!" Sam gasped out as Cas shuffled awkwardly. "What are you-did you climb me like a tree?"
A muffled "Maybe" could be heard as Gabe buried his face in the back of Sam's hair. Sam shook his head fondly. "Something you need, Sugar?"
"Oh, I just wanted to know how you got your hair so smooth and silky." Gabe leaned over Sam so that his chin rested on his shoulder. "Do you use a certain kind of gel? Or maybe…"
Oh no. Sam could hear it already. He was gonna say it.
"Is it a particular mousse that you use?" He said it. And from the way he was smirking at incorporating the word moose into normal conversation without it being a pun, he was very pleased with himself about it.
Sam sighed heavily, shrugging Gabriel off of his shoulders, and left the room.
•~•~•~•~•
Sam walked into the bathroom a few days later, trying to grab the nail clippers. The sight that greeted his eyes had him blinking in astonishment. "Dude." He looked at the man he loved, and you could almost see the gears in his head turning as he rethought every aspect of his life. Gabe was stuck in a position between standing and squatting on top of the sink in front of their mirror, and appeared to be sticking his face onto the mirror. "You ok?" He asked tentatively.
Gabe whipped his head around from where he was admiring himself in the mirror, and Sam recoiled in fear for a moment before his eyes fully processed what he was seeing. "Heya Sammy! What do you think? Do you like it?" Gabriel was sporting a giant mustache. He was also grinning from ear to ear. "I grew it just for you! Thought it would feel nice when we kiss." Gabe puckered his lips, and Sam honestly couldn't tell if he was joking or not.
"When did you have time to grow a mustache?" Sam was astonished, but not as much as he would have been if it were anyone but Gabriel.
"It's not a mustache, Sammy! It's a moosestache!" Gabe pouted. "See? They're like little antlers!"
Sam left the room.
•~•~•~•~•
Jack and Sam were listening to music together in the kitchen when Gabe sauntered into the room again. He was holding a tub of frosting, licking one of his fingers as he did. He paused to give Sam a quick kiss on the cheek as he walked past, finally settling himself down next to Jack.
"So." He started. "Pitch Perfect."
Sam barely looked up from the dough he was mixing. "So? Jack likes it."
Jack's huge smile seemed to light up the whole kitchen as he continued tapping out the beat to the cup song. "I do enjoy it."
"How'd you guys even find that thing? It's like… a bajillion years old." Gabe chuckled.
"Surfing Netflix." Was Sam's response.
The kitchen was quiet a moment more, save for Anna Kendrick singing in the background. Finally, Gabriel began to sing along. It started out quiet, but grew in volume until he was belting out the words. "You're gonna moose me everywhere, you're gonna moose me when I'm gone!" He was singing his heart out.
Sam left the room.
•~•~•~•~•
Sam was lifting weights this time when Gabriel walked into the room. "Oh, hey Gabe. Can you help spot me quick? I want to-"
Gabe was practically drooling. "Anything to see your beautiful mooseles, Sammy.
Sam stood there a moment. Finally, he looked back at Gabe. "You know, I would leave, but I really need to get these reps in."
Gabe took that as a silent victory, even as he watched Sam's arms go up and down, the heavy bar lifting into the air and coming back down again. It took a very long time before Sam's breathing became labored, and with Gabe's help, he slowly put the bar back into its place.
Sitting up, he looked over at Gabe. all was silent for a moment, then-
"I'm moosetly ok with your stupid jokes by now."
Gabe turned to Sam, his eyes shining. "Oh, I knew you were the one!" He flew at him in a tackle hug, and they both hit the floor, hard.
"Ouch... " Sam rubbed his back slightly as he stood up.
"Sorry," Gabriel said sheepishly as he stood up as well. "I love you."
Sam just smiled a little bit. And then he left the room.
Gabe's distraught cry of, "Oh, come on!" was acknowledged with a simple chuckle.
•~•~•~•~•
So that's that monstrosity. I am so sorry. I'm pretty sure it's the worst piece of writing I've ever done. XD I do like it though, in a twisted, motherly way. I hope you enjoyed this installment in the previously thought to be completed series.