The feast was in full swing.
It was the one thing which I noticed before I got lost in my thoughts. The King seemed not to notice my inattention to him and for that, I was immensely thankful! I didn't want to talk to anyone let alone someone who I couldn't trust.
The king was talking at me again. What he was saying I have no idea but he suddenly caught my attention by someone he had said.
"..I knew your late husband, Your Majesty." He told me, earnestly.
I looked at him properly in curiosity. He looked sincere and respectful but I needed to know more.
"Indeed, My Lord?" I asked him, questioningly. Although, he hadn't done or said anything yet my tone conveyed my distrust.
He nodded at my question almost immediately.
"Yes, Arthur and I basically grew up together…" He told me.
At the sound of Arthur's name, I couldn't help but cringe. I didn't want to be reminded yet again of his absence. Every time I thought about it I ended up feeling angry at him for leaving me alone in the world and I didn't want it to ruin my memory of him.
It was now my turn to nod at him. My actions seem to fulfil his desire for attention as he turned his attention to the nobles who were near him, leaving me yet again to my thoughts.
My eyes roamed the tables. I needed something to take my mind of my thoughts. I looked to the table which the Knights of Camelot were residing on and I suddenly caught sight of Percival and Leon talking and smiling with each other.
At the sight of them, I imagined Lancelot, Gwaine and Elyan there too joining in with the merriment laughing at whatever Percival had said. My eyes quickly filled with tears making me take a deep breath.
Leon caught sight of me and smiled widely at me. There was something about Leon. Every time he smiled (recently), I would feel almost compelled to return it. I gave him a smile, a slightly tear-stained one at that.
Although, I was smiling my heart felt like it was breaking. I was here, in one of the busiest places in Camelot yet I had never felt so alone. I needed to get to out of there, if only to stop me breaking down.
"My Lord, if you'll excuse me..." I told the King.
I knew I sounded like I was pleading but I couldn't help it!
The King quickly turned his attention to me with a concerned look, and nodded.
He quickly said: "Good night, Your Majesty. I look forward to our talks tomorrow...?"
I simply nodded at him. I didn't want to talk to him. I needed to get away from him. From the hall. From everything.
I quickly exited the hall, not wanting to see the looks of disproval I would get from the elders of court.