Hey Y'all! Joe of the Furlings here with a long overdue update!!! Sorry, this came late I had to go to California for two weeks, then I had to do crap when I got home…anyway, this might be the only one for at least a week, I'm still traveling around, heh heh... '

ANYWAY, here we go with Dr. Rodney McKay on Mastercard: Atlantis Edition!!

Dr. Rodney McKay's eyes continuously flitted across the screen of the small laptop. His fingers zipped across the keyboard as a lonesome bullet of sweat slowly made its way down his forehead. He wiped it away, and continued typing relentlessly as numbers, graphs, and charts of all sorts, zoomed across the screen.

Dell Pentium dual-core laptop with Wi-Fi that can interface with (almost) as much stuff as Col. Carter's: $250.00.

Colonel Sheppard poked his head through the doorway. "Rodney…" he said dangerously.

"I know, I know!!!" a tense Rodney replied.

Sheppard approached the still madly typing Doctor cautiously-He had been on the bad end of a stressful Rodney before, and lord knows how THAT worked out. "Look buddy," he began slowly, "I don't mean to rush you, you pick up the peace a bit??"

Rodney groaned and reached into his pocket, pulling out a small container of pills. He opened it and popped one into his mouth.

Stress reliever pills: $18.00 per dosage.

Sheppard raised an eyebrow. "You know, if you go O.D. on those things now of all times, I will personally throw you out of a jumper into the sea from 500 ft up, got it?"

"I KNOW, I KNOW, AND YOU'RE THREATS AREN'T HELPING!!!" hollered an irate Rodney as he typed faster than ever. Just when he thought he didn't need anymore distractions, Ronon stepped into the fray, looking annoyed.

"Hey, Rodney, uhh, would you mind picking up the pace a bit? We've got about 20 seconds left and I really don't want to die here."

"I KNOW, DAMMIT!!!!" Rodney wiped away another bead of sweat as he continued to type.

Special computer training from MIT: $200.00 tuition

Then, as if God was testing to see how long he could stand the pressure, Teyla stumbled in, out of breath. "Rodney, the people are beginning to panic! Could you please HURRY UP!?!"

"I'm trying, I'M TRYING!!!" he hollered. Sheppard eyes his watch. They had about 10 seconds left…9 seconds…8 seconds…

"Rodney…"

"I'M ALMOST THERE, JUST HANG ON!!!"

6 seconds…5…4...3…2…1…

"I GOT IT!!!" and without further ado, he pressed the execute button.

Immediately, the Stargate in Atlantis roared to life, and deep within the bowels of the city, being projected by the best home theater system in the universe…

"Good Afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to AT&T park, home of the San Francisco Giants, for the 2007 Major-league Baseball All-Star Game!"

"YES!!!!!!" Sheppard hollered in victory, thrusting his fists into the air and joining the crowd in their cheers and applause for Rodney and his excellent signal hacking skills. Teyla and Ronon sighed in relief. Who knew that this sport known as Baseball mattered so much to such a large fraction of Atlantis?

Meanwhile, Rodney was leaning on the table he had been working at, panting like he'd run a marathon, but still wearing a triumphant smile. Mocking a western sharp-shooter, he raised his index fingers, jutted his thumbs out, and blew on the fingertips, slowly nodding his head.

Being able to do just about everything…

Then, quite suddenly, the gate shut down, the lights went off, and a loud hum was heard dying away as the whole city went dark.

Well, ALMOST everything…

Rodney was frozen stiff. He was afraid of this. There was a silent pause. And then, the whole city, in one synchronized voice, yelled, with all their might…

"RODNEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

And almost immediately afterwards, a small voice came over the P.A. system.

"I CAN FIX THAT!"

…Priceless.

Well, there you have it. Hope it's as good as the rest. Read and Review y'all, and don't stray too far, 'cause it's Dr. Weirs time to shine next time around, here on Mastercard: Atlantis Edition!!!