Chapter Two - The 2am Ramblings

Rambling the first - A limerick I hope you're too tired to realize is out of meter

There once lived a boy named Ed,
who became shorter than Roy by a head.
He rejoiced as he thought
he'd grown tall, but t'was naught,
as Roy stood up from his seat by the bed.

The moral: Ed needs to factor in that people who are sitting down aren't in very good positions to be measured against for height.

- Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring -

Rambling the second - Haiku time

Winry was a rock ...
Bell, that is, and she likes "stuff".
Wow, that's really vague.

Al was a boy, once.
Now he's trapped in a Gundam ---
sorry, "mobile suit".

That last haiku owned.
Why? It gave Sam plot bunnies ...
Gundam X-Over!

Okay, so that failed.
But I've better plots, honest!
They just don't surface.

Back to FMA.
It's a manga/anime.
That's all. Dot dot dot.

- BANANA PHONE! -

Rambling the third - Fullmetal Cosplay

This is the part where you think you'll be shown awesomesauceicle RoyEd cosplay photos, am I right?

Well, perhaps I am right. In that case, you are wrong, because I am not going to do what you think I am so I am right about what you think, but you are wrong in your thought, so some might argue that I myself was wrong, but I don't think so, because you would have to have not thought the thought you thought for me to be thinking the wrong thought about your thought.

Think about it.

- Ding dong ding dong ding dong ding -

Rambling the fourth - Fullmetal Cosplay (revived)

So after that very thought-provking thinking session, I figured I'd show you ... no, not RoyEd photos. Shoo, rabid fangirls.

No, I think I will show you ... some fascinating skittles of my brain, involving various characters of this glorious fandom of ours portraying ... shall we say, others.

Watch and love.

o_O_o

Our scene is set in a forested area in the Southernmost point of Amestris. A cottage is in plain sight from your point of view ... wherever that is. Let's just say you're God, so you see everything. Good?

Alright, now we've settled that ... you see this cottage and, suddenly, from inside it pops a blob of red. Since you're God, and you're so up high, you can't really see it that well ... so you zoom in with your God-lens a bit. And if you're wearing glasses, take them off a moment and put them back on, it'll seem more real.

Do it ... just because you're God doesn't mean you control the story. I'm the author, I have more power than you. So take the damn glasses off!

THIS IS SO YOU KNOW TO PUT THEM BACK ON. BECAUSE AS WE ALL KNOW, BLIND PEOPLE CAN ONLY READ CAPS LOCK. THAT'S WHY WE MAKE UP THE NOOB POPULATION.

Better? Perfect. So as the story goes, you see this red-cloaked figure peek its head out of the doorway of this cottage. The figure is a person ... and is very bulky. Kinda fat looking, but you can't really tell ... better zoom in some more. Glasses off, GLASSES ON.

So they're not fat after all, they're pointy! Not in the fun places, but kind of everywhere, which must make for some awkward ... nevermind. So the pointy person looks up at you—don't worry, they can't see you, you're God ... if people could properly see you, that would defeat the purpose—and anyhow, you've suddenly decided the persn is a he because their face has none of the sculpting of either human gender. He's started walking West, carrying a wicker basket. If you'll kindly turn your ears up—the casual non-deified reader may plug them, yell, and unplug while still yelling for the full effect—you will be able to hear the mewlings of many collective kittens coming from inside the wicker baskets and ... the pointy boy?

Anyhow, he keeps walking along until he comes across a fork in the forest path that happens to be there. Then suddenly, a big and scary alchemist comes out of the bushes—non-God readers roar to yourselves here—and starts speaking to him in a deep, booming voice.

"ALPHONSE," The man we now know as the Caps Lock Alchemist began, "WHERE ARE YOU GOING?"

The boy ... Alphonse ... in a red cloak ... Al-in-red-riding-hood ... replies:

"Why, I'm going to my big brother's house to give him some stew!"

The Caps Lock Alchemist looks wide-eyedly at Al-in-red-ridin-hood. "STEW?" He booms.

"Yes, and I should be going if I'm to get to him in time ... good day, sir."

So, on pranced little (big) Al-in-red-riding-hood, to see Brother Edward. Except he kept seeing cats alng the way and, well, they were just so adorable ...

Needless to say, by the time he got to Brother Edward's (470 cats and all) he was met by the shock of a brother nearly dying of hunger and a very mad State Alchemist (who'd been waiting to ambush him for the stew since the last Thursday, when he'd seen him on the path).

The Caps Lock Alchemist began t attack Al-in-red-riding-hood, but the cats all defended him. Afterward Edward, devouring his stew (made with genuine cat milk!), scolded the Gundam-boy-in-red-riding-hood for "stealing" all the cats.

Fin.

- DONANA PHONE! -

AN: So, that was fun to do. :D

And it's 4am at present ... I do believe I should go to sleep now. Have a safe and wonderful day, my dears, and remember ...

Glasses off, GLASSES ON.

- Sam/FHT

PS - I hope against all hope that God doesn't smite me for not doing a disclaimer in this. Because I like living, frankly enough. :P

Review, please, as always.