Chapter 2

Will had dropped us outside our house two hours after we left the airport, and we entered our first house. It was a state – but we knew that and that was why we got it at a bargain price. All the rooms needed decorating, the floors needed changing and the windows needed replacing too. It was a decent size house; the porch at the front opened out into a wide entrance area with dark wooden floor, with two doors coming off; one that headed into a long living room which spanned the length of the house, the other to a corridor with the stairs to one side. At the end was a kitchen diner, with a small conservative area which had a washing machine and fridge in already. Upstairs led to two large bedrooms, a study, and a bathroom.

Zed spent the rest of the day unpacking our boxes with my next to no help as I just fell asleep on the settee Will and Fin had bought us and left it for us so at least we could have something to sit on. Eventually, we decided to call it a night after we had our dinner of fish and chips.

'We've done good today.' Zed said, climbing into bed.

'You've done good, I've sat around.' I laughed as I rolled over to look at him.

'Well, we all knew you would. You come in handy when it comes to painting and organising.' Zed laughed, kissing my forehead. 'Tomorrow is your time to shine.'

Tomorrow we were due the rest of our stuff we had packed over from America at a ridiculous time in the morning, before we were heading to the nearest shopping centre – half an hour drive away – to pick up some clothes and home essentials we needed. So, whilst Zed was good at unpacking boxes and building flatpack furniture, I was better at decorating and putting things into cupboards logically.

'Then we start work.' I mumbled and Zed nodded.

'You scared?' He asked me and I hesitated.

'Slightly.' I said. 'It's, like, our first proper adult job. It's proper important.'

'Fin and Will will be with us the entire time, they're doing our first module of training with us. So at least we have someone there for when we start. It won't be too hard.' Zed whispered to me. 'Look, go to sleep hun, you must be exhausted. You didn't sleep well last night.'

I didn't argue – I was completely exhausted. Zed squiggled up to me and hugged me to his side as I pulled the duvet over us a bit tighter. Eventually, I fell asleep in my boyfriends arms, for once in this entire moving process, and since college, I felt somewhat comforted.

The next day, Zed left me asleep as he took the deliveries in downstairs. I heard him say goodbye to the delivery driver and walked downstairs in just my underwear. In the lounge were around twenty boxes of different shapes and sizes. Zed stood there in a pair of black jeans and a white top as he turned around, looking at me as he smiled.

'If you came down five minutes earlier, you'd've given the delivery driver a proper treat.' Zed laughed as he came up to me and kissed me gently.

'What even is all of this stuff.' I said.

'Cabinets, wardrobes, tables. Everything.' Zed said, gesturing to stuff. 'Stuff that will be in boxes forever.'

'What time are we going out?' I asked again, stretching. 'Wait, it's really early. How are you so awake?'

'Didn't really sleep.' He said, shrugging.

'Go back to bed, I can build some wardrobes by myself.'

'Na, I'm fine Sky.' Zed told me gently and I looked at him. He sighed, offering me his pinky. I smiled gently. Something we had started when I got kidnapped back when we were both sixteen – he told me I would get better after the kidnapping, and I didn't believe him. So he pinkie promised. Ever since then, whenever I thought he was lying to me about something, he would pinkie promise he was fine – and vice versa. It became one of our things. 'It's just the jetlag. I'll be fine. Fin invited us over tonight to theirs for dinner, they've gone back to work this morning so they won't be home until around six, half six. We can still go get of this Nando's you speak of.'

'Now there is a plan.' I laughed, hugging his waist. 'This place is a state.'

'We knew it would be though, we can still paint it all like you decided. We can get some phones later so at least you can call Sally and Simon, and text your friends as well.'

When we arrived, we sent a quick text to our parents saying we had landed safely and Fin let me use her phone to call my parents but it was a quick phone call. Zed phoned his Mom and Dad on Will's phone – but we needed to get a new phone before tomorrow, before we start work. I had told my friends in advance I wouldn't be able to message them for a few days after I moved.

'How are you coping?' I asked and he nodded.

'Good, I'm looking forward to actually starting to work, have a routine, have a good weekend.' Zed said and it surprised me – I imagined the mornings would be me dragging out of bed to get him ready for work. But it could now be the other way around. I smiled at him before he gently kissed me. 'Let's get changed and head into town, get some shopping. I don't know about you, but I did not pack anything decent.'

So both of us got changed into the very limited clothes we had packed in our cases. We had decided to pack more essential things in our suitcases – special papers we needed, items that had significant emotional value. We had two changes of clothes at our disposable. Thankfully, I had packed a pair of jeans and a t-shirt – Zed appeared to have just chucked some random clothes into his case, a t-shirt he had worn once and then decided he didn't like and a pair of jeans that he bought when we first got together. Zed drove to the giant shopping centre Will had told us to visit, parking the car in a massive multi-story carpark before we started heading into different shops.

Between us, we spent a good few hundred pounds on an entire new wardrobe – several pairs of jeans, leggings, different tops, bras, underwear, work dresses and shoes and everything. We got some stationary we needed for work tomorrow, as well as some gym wear and kitchen essential, and some bits for around the home. We nipped into Nando's soon after, with Zed ordering his first ever Nando's – and loved it. Eventually, we drove home and started building some furniture together as I ordered the tins of paint for delivery this weekend, and soon after we got a text from Will saying they were both leaving work now and we can head over there now if we wanted too. So we got in the car and headed over to their drive, parking our car out the front.

'Wow.' I said. Their house looked amazing; I knew house prices in this area was quite low to start with but I also knew Fin had saved up and lived by herself for a good few years near the capital of Ireland and Will had owned his own house in Denver – so I knew that when they pooled the money together from their houses when they sold they could afford something beautiful, and they had done just that.

Their house was the normal two floors but had a small porch and a double garage attached to one side. It had been modernised and had a cream exterior with a large window down the middle of the house which showed floor-to-ceiling length Venetian blinds on a staircase. I knew their house had three bedrooms and everyone in the family knew Will wanted kids of his own. Will was one of those people who were fantastic with children. Every time there was a new cousin or second cousin born into the family, he would be more than happy to sit there holding the baby til they fell asleep. When Uri had his daughter, Violet, Will practically moved in with him and his fiancé. He looked after Vi for hours on end, on his own at times, and he didn't care. When Trace brought over his twin toddlers to the house, Will was on the floor playing with them or reading books to them. He was so happy with the children around him, and everyone knew he would be the perfect parental figure. Fin, once she got her bearings around the family, also was brilliant with children in a more subtle way. So it would be inevitable that most likely soon after they get married, they'd want to try for kids – and their house was big enough for their future children too.

'It's somewhat annoying Will has done this well and I don't know why.' Zed laughed as he turned off the car and got out. 'But he has done good, this is amazing.'

'You two going to come in?' Will said, standing by the door in a button up t-shirt, a blazer jacket and some trousers and smart shoes. Quietly we filed into the house – the opening had beautiful dark wooden flooring and white walls, with a lovely photo of the couple. I don't know where the photo was taken but Will was in a suit and Fin in a dress, their arms around each other's waist – but they were both looking at each other, grinning.

'Evening – how you doing?' Fin said walking through – but she was in a pair of jeans and a normal t-shirt.

'Oh, she got changed but you couldn't.' Zed laughed.

'No, that's how she goes to work. She's the boss, she can.' Will laughed.

'Wait – I thought you were both in charge.' I asked.

'She's a role ahead of me, she's allowed into the board meetings and so on, like images in a school you have the headteachers, and then you have the assistant headteachers. She's like an assistant headteacher, I'd be ahead of the department.' Will explained and I nodded. 'So she can wear whatever she wants as long as it's a normal work day and I'm stuck in a suit.'

Fin walked back past, kissing him as she walked past. 'Stop whining, I've told you that I give you special permission to not look like this.'

I heard a small meow by my feet and looked down and saw Will's cat he had brought over from Colorado. He has adopted a kitten from the local shelter when he started to get a bit lonely and didn't want to admit it – all the Benedict's had found their Soulfinders apart from him, and it had started to take its toll. So he got a kitten named KitKat. Eventually, Will started playing fetch with his cat – throwing toys across the room – and KitKat played fetch with him. And KitKat learnt how to sit on command too – something that was just beyond weird. So Will renamed Kitat "Dog". When Fin and Will moved over to England, immediately he put Dog into quarantine to allow him to live over here. I bent down as fussed it.

'Fin, we still going wedding dress shopping Saturday?' I asked and she nodded and just looked at her longingly.

'Yeah, if you wouldn't mind. I've asked Alice to come as well, girls day out kinda thing. Doing wedding planning.' Fin said. I knew Alice was her friend from Ireland where they worked together for years, and as Fin got the call to work at the Unit, so did Alice on the newly formed team.

'Mate, you've shown your cards and she's exploiting you.' Zed laughed and Will nodded sadly.

'I might still do a runner yet.' Fin added and Will looked at her before kissing her.

'Sky, that's your job – she can't do a runner.' He said to me and I grinned – but I knew Fin can panic in a split second and she probably was a flight risk.

We all sat down and ordered a take out – sitting around and eating happily before we were invited to stay the night. I knew the plan was Fin would drive me in an hour earlier than Will and Zed to get my paperwork started. Zed and Will then go in an hour later to get Zed's paperwork done before we would get started on the training courses. So it was just easier for everyone if we stayed over. It was about eleven at night when we finally settled down in the spare bedroom, hugging. Zed fell asleep fast but I just remained awake. The hours dragged on as it slowly turned to Thursday. It was a two in the morning I heard some noise as someone from the other bedroom and I frowned. I knew whoever it was who was moving around was very light-stepping and it could only be Fin. She went to the toilet before I heard a flush, and a few minutes later she walked downstairs. I frowned, sensing her sadness from up here and immediately jumped out of bed, heading downstairs to find her.

I walked into the lounge and she looked up at me – but before she clocked who I was I saw the fear around her, and how scared she was, as well as how ill she was failing – and then her shields went up.

'Why are you awake? Did I wake you up?' Fin immediately said and I shook my head.

'I was already up – why are you up?' I asked her and she sighed before tearing up.

'Can I tell you something? It will make sense after, but I just – I just need someone to tell me I'm not acting horrendously irrationally.' Fin said and I nodded, frowning as I pulled a blanket around her shoulders to stop her shaking. She smiled slightly, but I was nervous her gift was going to kick off. But I knew the second she got bad, Will would be straight down to sort her out.

'What's up, Fin?'

'So Will and I were talking in Colorado a week or so ago, we both agreed we didn't want to have children for a few years or so.' Fin said fiddling with her hoodie. 'We said we weren't prepared, we didn't know what we were doing, and so on. Will made it pretty clear he didn't want any kids in the next few years.'

My mouth dropped. 'But Will's always wanted kids, and I know you have too. What's changed everything?'

'Well.' Fin said, sniffing slightly, wiping her eyes with her hoodie again. 'A couple of months after I moved to Colorado, I woke up and I just felt awful. We had been out to dinner the night before and I just thought my chicken was undercooked and I had food poisoning, I threw up that night, went back to bed like normal. The next morning I still felt ropey but it wasn't the end of the world, but I threw up again that night. And the night after. The fourth night as I went back to bed, Will quietly asked me if there were any chances I was pregnant. I've been on the pill solidly for five years now so I told him no. He asked me if I wouldn't mind taking a test, just to be certain as I had been up now for four nights throwing up at near enough the same time. So the next morning, I did the test and it came back positive.' She explained and I looked at her, shocked. But my heart dropped. I knew where this was going.

She continued; 'It was all fine for a week or two. The test said I was like three weeks in, so we agreed not to tell anyone for another month or two, just to make sure. But twelve days after, Will and I had the day off work. I had slept in, and Will came to wake me up. He pulled the duvet off me jokingly as I grumbled about being awake so early. When he did, waist down was blood. The bed around me also had blood. Will took me to the doctors and they confirmed it was a miscarriage. Remember when I was off work for two weeks, and I didn't turn up to the family meal?' Fin asked me and I nodded. 'I was in bed. I could barely move. The pain was excruciating. There was so much blood, I was throwing up for like a week and couldn't keep down water or food. I just slept, I was exhausted.'

There was a hesitation for a moment as Fin took a staggered deep breath. 'Will, bless him, kept checking up at me. When he was at work, he used to drive back home twice a day to wake me up and make me eat and drink something. He held me close as I cried – I didn't know why I was crying, I just couldn't stop. He sat me on his lap, often with fast food, made me drink the drink and fed me too, sometimes with chips, sometimes toast, anything. Eventually, the bleeding stopped, I was eating more myself, I could leave the house. It all went back to normal after that. After a week or two ago, we had the kid conversation and he said he couldn't stand to see me in that much pain ever again, that it hurt him so much to see me like that.' Fin stopped to wipe away a tear. 'So I said I didn't want kids anyway, not yet. Because then at least I can't hurt him again. He agreed, saying we weren't ready anyway and we can have a few years before we discuss it again.'

'Oh Fin,' I whispered, holding her as she sobbed. I remembered that family meal, we used to have one every month or so, and Fin had only gone to a handful but she wasn't there, Will explained she wasn't very well and didn't want the kids catching anything but even Will seemed really sad and off character – everyone noticed – he was very silent and everyone also assumed he was ill. He left early. 'Why didn't you tell us?'

'I didn't know how too.' Fin whispered.

'Is that what's upsetting you?'

'No.' Fin said as she sighed before she leant over the arm of the settee and pulled out a weird white stick and my heart faltered again. I knew exactly what a pregnancy test looked like when I saw one. I took it from her hands and turned it over, seeing the "pregnant 2-3 weeks" on the screen. As I saw, Fin curled up and started to cry.

'Fin, no, don't cry.'

'Will didn't want kids, this could be like the last time. I could lose it, and it'll be too much. I can't do that all again. I can't expect Will to go through that with me again. He'll hate me if – when – he finds out. I don't want him to hate me.' Fin lost it and I sighed.

'No, no he won't. Come on, calm down now Fin.' I said as I heard movement upstairs – I could only guess from the upstairs bedroom where Will was sleeping. Fin also heard it and start crying even harder.

'He said he doesn't want kids anymore, not after that. We're not even married yet, Sky. He can just leave so early and I can't live without him here, I can't not have him.' She babbled as Will came around the corner in just his boxers. I gently put the test down the crack in between the settee seats.

'Fin, sweetheart, what's up? Why are you crying?' He immediately asked as I got up, allowing Will to sit where I was as he very quickly scooped Fin up and placed her on his lap, hugging her close. 'Sky, any idea what's going on?'

'Not in the slightest.' I said, not going to give away Fin's secret. 'I'll leave you two alone.' I said, squeezing Fin's shoulder as I went past. As I snuggled down back into bed, next to Zed who didn't wake up for anything, I could only hope Will and Fin could come up with a solution.