Title chapter: 100 Years, by Five For Fighting. I thought it was an ironic title chapter. Anyways, moving on to the story:
If someone had asked Tamaki a few days ago if the Shadow King had ever cried, he would have laughed in their face until his ow
If someone had asked Tamaki a few days ago if the Shadow King had ever cried, he would have laughed in their face until his own tears ran down his cheeks and told them that Kyouya hadn't cried since he was two. And, most likely, he would have been right.
But now, now Tamaki was faced with a very distraught brunette and not quite sure how to react. Shocked? Yes. Worried? Yes. Angry? Oh, most definitely, because whoever had made his best friend cry was going down.
"Kyouya, what happened, why are you crying?" The Suoh heir whispered, looking downright distressed. His hands fluttered uselessly in front of the brunette, not sure what to do. The blonde was completely new to this situation, having always been the one in need of comfort. "Who made you cry?" Then an awful thought struck him. "It wasn't us, was it? Oh, Mommy, I'm so sorry, I didn't want to make you cry!" Leaning forward, he embraced the boy as well as he could.
Kyouya just cried harder, suddenly clinging as tight as he could to Tamaki. No, this was not right. Someone as strong as the Shadow King did not cry. This was so out of character for the brunette that the other teen was completely unaware of how he was supposed to act in this situation. So, hesitantly, he wound his arms tighter around his best friend. A sharp stab of fiery pain lanced somewhere suspiciously close to his heart. Are you still my best friend? He thought, fretting inside his head like the little drummer boy on steroids.
"Idiot." Kyouya muttered, clutching fistfuls of school uniform in his hands, unable to hold onto anything else. "I'm such an idiot to have thought you would give up on me that quickly…" It went unspoken, but even Tamaki heard the silent, I thought I knew you better than that.
"I won't ever give up on you, Kyouya." Tamaki promised fiercely, struggling to get closer to the other boy without getting into an uncomfortable position. "Not even when you give up on yourself." It was Kyouya who decided to get closer, pride be damned. Going to his knees in an unexpected movement, he wrapped his arms around Tamaki's waist and buried his head into the other teen's side. Affection, and blatant affection at that, was not high on Kyouya's list, and was actually pretty much non-existent. But something in the last three weeks had snapped inside of him, demanding care, attention, love.
No, he would not tell Tamaki what was wrong with him. His dignity wouldn't allow that to slip through the cracks. But he could certainly trust the blonde with his bleeding heart.
"Kyouya-kun, what's the matter?" Tamaki was cradling his best friend's head in his arms, offering comfort, kindness, a need to understand. "Truly, you can tell me, I'll… I'll listen." There was a strange sort of hesitance to that sentence, as if the Suoh heir was not sure he wanted to say them or not. As if my words have hurt him enough already. Kyouya thought, grimacing internally.
"I'm fine, Tamaki-kun, thank you." Kyouya said, standing up and re-gathering his pride like a cloak. "I apologize for falling apart like that. It wasn't very fair to you, after what I just said." But there was something else in his eyes; not only "I'm sorry" but also "thank you" and a bone-deep sadness. As if he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders and was unaware of how to transfer some of his burden. Tamaki saw this in his expression and understood that perhaps, there was more to all of this than he had once thought. The Suoh heir acted like he wasn't very bright, and perhaps sometimes, when it came to deceit and dealing with malicious people, he was completely unaware. But his best friend was like stained glass, easy to see through with a trained eye.
"No, Kyouya-kun, don't be sorry." Tamaki murmured, standing up as well and grabbing the brunette's hand before the other could turn away. "If you should be sorry for anything, it's that you're leaving us in such a state." A little twitch of his eye showed that he was trying not to frown about something, but he hurriedly made the emotion blank from his expression, as if not wanting to show it to Kyouya. But if the Ootori was like stained glass, then Tamaki was like an open window on a bright summer's day. Sometimes, Kyouya wondered how far the blonde would get in this life of business and dull meetings; if he was bored, his client's would definitely know it.
"Tamaki, you know I must go." Kyouya tried to sound firm, but mostly sounded weary. The pain that lanced over the other's expression was almost enough for him to spill his secrets, but he knew he had to be strong while the opportunity to do so remained. "What we had here was… different, and strange, and very much absurd, but it wasn't bad. I'll… I'll remember it, and treasure it, for as long as I live." Which isn't that long, he thought bitterly. "But you must let me go."
"Well…" Tamaki said suddenly, an idea striking him and an almost amazed expression forming on his face. "I'll just go with you, then! Think about it, Kyouya! I could say I was going for my family too, for foreign business affairs and we could still be together— "
"No means no, Tamaki-kun." Kyouya said almost harshly, fear bubbling up in his stomach at the very thought. Of course the brunette wasn't going to America! It was all just a ruse, to make it seem as if he was fine and happy and that everything was the way it should be. He couldn't let on that he was dying of some foreign disease caught on a vacation to Brazil. Or that he had maybe five months left. "Sometimes friendship," he spat out the word as if it was dirty, "isn't enough. I will not have my past following after me into my new life. Stay here. If I find out you followed me…" He left the threat there, unspoken and very, very real.
Before he stormed away, he saw Tamaki's face fall like his words were a javelin had been thrown into his heart. That last look at his once-best-friend's face would stay tattooed on his heart until the day he died, he was quite sure of it.
Days passed. Four, to be exact. Four days, sixteen hours, thirty-nine minutes, and eight seconds to be precise. And Kyouya was all about precision now; when one only has to count seven months, it's better to be right on the money all the time. Who knew how much longer he had?
It was on this, the fourth day of leaving Ouran, that he realized how very much his life was going to change and how quickly it was going to fade.
"What do you mean, an in-home nurse?" He demanded, putting his laptop aside as the family doctor tried to reason with him. Sitting up in bed, with pillows propped up behind his back and blankets pulled up to his waist (the chill had set in around ten AM), he looked the image of a young aristocrat suffering from a mild cold. A very pissed-off, highly irate young aristocrat who's sole purpose in life was to snap at those trying to help him. "I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself, Hibiki-san(1), I don't see why this is needed—"
"Kyouya-san, I'm sorry, but your father requested that you have an in-home nurse, in case things got bad during the middle of the night, or you needed something like morphine for when the pain sets in." Doctor Hibiki shuffled his papers around, putting them in his dark leather suitcase and shutting the lid with a loud snap. "I apologize, but you have been overridden. She should show up around noon. Treat her kindly, because this is her first job like this." Kyouya wanted to shout out indignations at that; they were giving him a newbie nurse to take care of him? Damn it, if he was going to have to go through this indignity, he at least wanted it to be an experienced person.
But before he could voice out these thoughts, the doctor exited the room with swish and whirl of his white scrubs.
So, Kyouya sat and Kyouya waited, filling up his time with figuring out the Host Club's earnings for the past year. Each time he clicked on a file of a certain theme, or a gimmick that the rest of them had performed, an image of his friends (my family, he amended) would appear in his mind, always smiling and laughing. It was a burning loneliness he felt, and with every moment, he wished deeply that he could recover, could get better and live his life and share adventures with the Host Club, Ouran's finest and brightest shining stars in the entire school.
"Hello?"
A knock at the door shocked the once-Ootori heir out of his reverie, making him turn his eyes to the doorway. Standing in the entrance was a young woman of her late twenties, a waterfall of straight black hair cascading gently down her back. There were gray streaks already forming, making her features seem possibly older. No-nonsense, sharp blue eyes swept across the room as she stepped in. Blink, blink. They sent a foreigner to care for me? Kyouya thought incredulously, taking in the girl's (very Italian) features. Her brows were dark and heavy, framing two eyes set widely apart.
"Hello!" She said suddenly, opening the door wider to admit her (rather large) self. She resembled a mother, not a nurse. "Pardon my Japanese, it's not the best yet." Laughing, she walked forward and stopped next to his bed. "I told a man on the plane yesterday that my I had a love(2) room instead of a blue room, back home." The woman laughed again, her voice rich and tainted with a British accent. "He asked for my number, sadly. Seemed to think I was serious." Rolling her eyes and smiling, she offered her hand towards the quiet brunette. "The name's Kara Mondragon, but Kara should do just fine. Oh, but I'm supposed to introduce my last name first, huh?"
"No, that is fine as well." Kyouya said politely, reaching and gripping her right hand in a loose hold. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Kara-san. I am Ootori Kyouya, but I suppose you must already know that." Sensing the bitter edge in those words, Kara(3) seemed to just decide to drop it and smiled. "I hope I'm not prying, but where have you traveled from? Was your flight well?"
"My flight was amazing; much better than my flight to America, at any rate." Kara rolled her eyes, as if to say Americans(4), before continuing, "I'm from London and I left a few days ago to come here. I was given a day before work started, so I've been sight-seeing and such. I'll admit it; I'm one of those crazy tourist types who is absolutely fascinated with Japanese culture." Her eyes crinkled, crow's feet and laugh lines appearing when she smiled. Kyouya couldn't help but smile back, even just a tiny bit.
"Well, I certainly won't be bored, then, with you here." He replied.
So, after setting the ground rules and meeting each other, Kara got right to work, checking his temperature and clucking in a disapproving manner when it was too high. In fact, she seemed to make that particular clucking noise a lot, when she was particularly annoyed with her personal equipment or not satisfied with how he was doing. "Well, Kyouya-san, I don't think you'll be needing bedside assistance for another month or two, so I'll leave you be for a while." Looking pointedly at the laptop sitting next to his arm, she added, "I seem to have disrupted some work."
"I won't be needing assistance, no," Kyouya affirmed, moving his laptop back to his lap, where it sat on top of his thighs. "But I could give you a few places to sight-see, and a free ride in the Aston Martin." Looking up, he saw the sheer, exuberant joy in her eyes.
"An Aston Martin? Wow! Really?" A dreamy expression crossed her face. "A car like that is almost sex on wheels."
"Um… yes, well…" Kyouya coughed, trying desperately not to laugh. Only fifteen minutes into the job and she was already proving a very interesting companion. "Please try not to talk to strangers. A random stranger on a plane can be deflected easily; a sleazy businessman on the street will want to be shown this 'love' room." Smirking and letting the light glint deviously off of his glasses, he added, "And he will be much more adamant about it." Kara chuckled, but was otherwise cut off when a boisterous voice echoed around the house, yelling, "KYOUYA!!" at the top of its lungs.
Kyouya's face drained of all color.
"Oh no," He mumbled, burying his face in his hands. "That idiot came to my house and is going to try to talk 'sense' into me." Looking up, he gave the in-home nurse the fiercest glare imaginable and said, "Pretend this is a family check-up. Do not let him know why you are here. If he finds out…" Shuddering, he changed his words and said, "You don't want to know what will happen, if he finds out."
"But—" Kara looked like she wanted to walk away from the room as fast as she could, but curiosity also held her where she stood, obstinacy seeming to root her to the spot. "Is this 'he' your friend?"
"Only when I feel well enough for him to be." Kyouya grumbled, making a shooing motion with his hand. "Get out of here or he'll start answering questions." Moving to obey, Kara opened the door just a second too late. A blonde monstrosity flew into the room, knocking her on her behind. Surprised and winded, she started saying a stream of curses in English, stopping Tamaki in his tracks. 'I'm here for twenty minutes and already a bloody pouf decides to push me down! Well you bloody well damn know I'm going to fucking stand for it, and—"
"Oh, miss, I am so sorry!" Tamaki exclaimed, a broadening sweep of his arms helping him to lift her to her feet again. "Believe me, my dear, I only used such haste and force because my dear friend requires my attention so deeply." Smiling that heart-breaking smile of his, he grabbed her hands and held himself close to her. "Surely, beautiful Princess of the West, you can understand this?"
Kara looked like she was trying very, very hard not to laugh. "N-no, it's fine, really, I'm—" She choked back a cackle. "I'm perfectly well. I'll just… I have to go." And before she could ruin the Host King's grand speech by roaring with mirth, she disappeared hastily, giggling under her hand and blushing. She was mumbling in English, Oh Lord, if my husband could see me now… Handsome Japanese boys flirting with me, and only on my first day! Everyone will be so jealous when I come back home…
Left in her wake: silence, deadening, hot and thick like a summer's day in July. It clung to them like sweat, making both long for a break in the quiet. Kyouya shattered it first, instantly feeling a bit cooler by clearing his throat.
"What are you doing here, Tamaki-kun?" He asked coolly, his composure perfectly in place today. No tears to mar his lie, no weariness showing in his expression. Nothing strange about the situation at all, really. Perfectly in control, he thought in disgust, hating the lying he was forced to commit to, for the sake of his friends' sanity. "Surely you did not come here with the sole purpose of 'talking me out of it.'" Seeing his guess was correct, he scoffed a little. "You know me better than that, Tamaki-kun. I am rather dead-set on going and there is simply nothing you can do to stop me." Dead-set. Literally…
"Can't we talk about it?" Tamaki said, pleading as he crossed the room to sit beside his best friend. "I wouldn't mind going with you, Mommy, you know I wouldn't." But there was sacrifice in his eyes at that statement, so Kyouya knew that even if he really was leaving for America, he still wouldn't let the idiot follow after him like a puppy. Tamaki would be miserable, leaving his friends behind like that.
"Why are you even here, Tamaki-kun?" Kyouya demanded, knowing that (yet again) he would be hurting the other's feelings, and trying not to feel too bad about it. It's for the greater good, after all. "Have I not made it very clear that you are no longer welcome in my presence?" The way Tamaki's face crumbled at that was catastrophic and instantly, Kyouya wanted to take it back. It was almost instantaneous; the need to retract that hurtful sentence, the want to get better as soon as possible so none of this was needed. Watching the blonde's expression collapse and fold in on itself like that was painful for him, too.
"But… But I thought—" Tamaki stopped, eyes filling with tears. "I thought we were friends, Kyouya." He said, his voice very small and eyes begging for a misunderstanding. A sudden loss of the Japanese language, perhaps, so maybe what Kyouya saying wasn't nearly so awful as what he expected.
"Yes, well… You thought wrong." It even sounded false to his own ears. How would Tamaki ever buy the lie, when the truth was so blatantly obvious? So it hurt, just a little, when those tears spilled over and ran in little rivulets down the blonde's cheeks. "But you thought exactly right." Kyouya imagined himself saying, and then quickly squashed that image. This was surely better for both of them…
Right?
"I don't believe you." Tamaki tried to say bravely, but his lip wobbled too much and his eyes were too over-bright for it to be true. So Kyouya did the cruelest thing he could possibly do in that moment. It didn't make sense, not even to him, why that action seemed to be the only course to go. In fact, it would only hurt them both more, in the end. But seeing Tamaki try so hard to cling to their friendship, to hold onto what would never be again, broke something inside of the brunette, forcing him to face facts that he had known for the past four years.
I'm in love with you.
Leaning forward, he yanked the other boy closer by his tie and crushed his mouth to the other's in a bruising, forceful kiss.
A/N: -jaw drop- I can not believe I got that out without... Iono, squee-ing?!
(1) Hibiki - The name "Hibiki", in Japanese, means Echo; sound. I admit this was a long-shot, but Dr. Hibiki was supposed to be an "echo" of what Kyouya's life could have been, if the disease hadn't struck.
(2) Love room vs. Blue room - Love, in Japanese, is ai, while blue is ao. For someone who isn't quite good at Japanese, I think it would be an easy mistake to make, yes? -laughs- Just trying to be clever and probably failing miserably.
(3) Kara - Kara means "friend" or "dear" in Italian -shifty eyes- I tried to use symbolism and it failed, alright?!
(4) Americans - Just a little shout-out to my cool Canadian friends xD We all agree that America pretty much sucks. Looking forward to free health care when I go to college next year. -laughs-
Please send me some love, ne? ;D