DISCLAIMER - Sadly, (though luckily for the franchise) we are not the creators of Star Trek.
The cupcake-filled vomit slowly seeped into the floor and walls, infecting everyone that touched it. On the bridge the crew were erupting into song, proclaiming Spock to be the most perfect specimen ever to inhabit the Universe.
Spock stirred, roused by the wall of sound that was surrounding him. Seeing the love-crazed crew, he jumped to his feet to try and get them under control. A few officers crowded around him blowing kisses, and wouldn't let him pass. Spock soon had enough. He pulled out his phaser, set it to low power, and decided to stun everyone so he could ask what was going on.
Unfortunately, he underestimated the power of his phaser's "low" setting and accidentally killed a random redshirt. This murder was enough to get everyone's attention. They all surged towards him, reciting garbled love poetry in various different languages.
"What is going on here?" Spock asked the collected crew. No one answered, but their irises turned into cartoon hearts at the sound of his voice. They just sat there staring at him, drooling.
Spock was just about to give up and go look for the Captain when hundreds of cupcake arrows started flying into the bridge, sailing through the walls as though they were ghosts. Then, through the ceiling descended a wondrous creature: A huge, muscular man with long flowing hair, a massive manly beard, and a tiny pink loincloth. As he landed elegantly in the captain's chair, it was easy to see that attached to his back were tiny white wings. In his massive hands, he held a little golden bow. He opened his mouth to speak, and all on the bridge turned away from Spock to hear him. "I," he squeaked, "Am Cupid, and I am here to speak with your captain!"
Spock looked around at the drooling, stupefied crew and spoke up. "Most illogical."
Cupid then proceeded to squeal "Spock, I must apologize for all this. I meant to hit the science officer of a nearby ship, but a random gust of pink interstellar wind moved my bow and I hit you. Still, there may be a cure hidden among the old texts in my library! I will go search!" With that he spun around, his pink loincloth dangerously close to falling off, and disappeared into the vacuum of space. Spock could do nothing but stare at the empty seat and the enamored crowd inching forwards toward him.
Oh no! What will Spock do? Read on!
If you review mine, I can review yours in exchange! Just tell me which story you want me to read, and I'll do it. Because I love you more than everyone loves Spock.