Disclaimer: All I ask is that you R & R, please! We all know that I don't own Charlie Prince or Ben Wade, so is that really an issue? Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeee!! Enjoy, ya'll!

"Great! This is just great." I muttered under my breath, stalking through the desert, carefully avoiding anything that even resembled a spider or even worse, something that slithered. "You know, if you wanted me to take part in this "mission" here, you could have at least told me where I needed to go to find this guy." I grumbled as I continued to pick my way through sand and cactus. "Especially since he is apparently the only one that I am visible to."

"You couldn't have at least left me a bloody map!" I shouted, glaring up at the sky. Off in the distance, something that sounded akin to thunder seemed to rumble as if to answer me. "I'll take that as a no."

About that time a stagecoach came rolling down through the canyons, its horses running full speed ahead. I could see the jostling passengers inside. "Hey!" I yelled, jumping up and down and waving my arms. "Hey, wait for me!" Without a second thought I ran out in front of the coach and held out my hands. "STOP!!" The driver looked right through me and up at the road ahead.

"Nooooo!" I moaned, watching as the coach drove right through me and disappeared around the bend. "Crap! Now I am seriously displeased."

I stood there, watching the dust that was stirred by the churning hooves and wheels of the coach float daintily in the dry air. "Now what?" I asked quietly asked myself. "How am I supposed to find this guy before Dan Evans finds Ben Wade?"

I was about to stalk off through the desert once more when I stopped dead in my tracks at the sight of the biggest black horse I had ever seen. "Oh. My. Gosh." I breathed. I felt like it was breathing down my neck. "Nice horsey." I squeaked, reaching out a tentative hand towards the soft nose that seemed to be testing the wind. The horse spooked and jumped back, away from my touch.

"Whoa! Steady now. Calm down."

I slowly looked up at the sound of this voice and saw the face of Ben Wade. I could see him, but apparently, he didn't see me.

"Check those canyons up there. Make sure nobody's following us." Ben barked, reining in his high-spirited animal. "Something spooked him."

I watched as all the members of the gang, including one very blonde member wearing a ratty looking old leather coat, spread out around the surrounding area. It seemed that I had found the object of my quest after all. Now all I had to do was tame him.

I paused. And just how was I supposed to go about doing that? This was getting to be far more difficult than I had imagined it would be.

"Okay, Charlie." I whispered, blowing out a breath. My bangs fluttered across my forehead. "It's all or nothin'."

I snuck off through the first trail I saw that cut into the canyon wall and picked my way through the assorted variety of rocks and brush. A thorn bit into my leg and tore the skin. "Ouch!" I howled. "Being dead could at least afford me the luxury of not feeling pain." I hobbled through the craggy canyon and positioned myself behind a low bush-like piece of foliage just as I heard the clatter of hooves on rock. "Show time."

Just a few moments later, Charlie appeared. He looked grizzled and mean, filth clinging to him from the top of his head to the toes of his boots. His beard needed trimming, and his hair needed washing. Over all, he looked like he needed a full grooming. But what caught my attention the most were his eyes. They were hard and cold, like river rock, and the color of them was dark. A continuous blackness that blocked out the real shade.

I shivered. This was a hard man. This wasn't the slightly bumbling sidekick that I saw in the film, the sidekick that seemed like he might not have been coloring with a full box of Crayolas. This was an outlaw. And I had to reform him.

"It's my lucky day." I gulped. "What do I do now?"

Charlie pulled back on his reins and halted his horse. His eyes roamed the brush, searching for something. Anything.

I resisted the urge to shrink back under my bush. I had a job to do.

I began to crawl out of my hiding place and winced as a smattering of pebbles crackled and rolled under my feet. I teetered and fought for my balance, but failed. "YAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!" I cried just as I went rolling. I fell on my face and went skidding out from underneath my bush and right in front of Charlie's horse.

I rolled over and sprawled out on the ground, dazed. I blinked drowsily and attempted to make my eyes focus. The hot, hot, hot sun baked my skin. "Oh." I moaned.

Charlie Prince seemed to stare at the ground in such a way that I wondered if even he could see me. And then he spoke. "Where," he bellowed, "in tarnation did you come from?"

"That bush." I squeaked, pointing feebly. "And quite possibly another era. Or maybe the grave, I'm not really sure."

Charlie's horse bent down and snuffled my face. "Nice horsey." I cooed, patting his soft nose.

Charlie jumped out of the saddle and jerked me off the ground. I felt the world spin. "Whoo-wee! You wouldn't happen to have some water on you, would you?" I smiled at him stupidly.

"Who...what are you?"

"Mmmm...they call me Banks. Lola Banks." I did my best Bond impression as I wiggled my arm free and wobbled away from him. "I am an agent of the secret secter." I slurred, my words garbled. Time travel must have been getting to me. I turned on my heel and went back to him, standing on tip toe and putting my face next to his. "I'm invisible!" I threw back my head and cackled, and then went teetering off down the trail.

If I had succeeded in one thing with Charlie Prince, it was confusing him. He stared at me with an open expression of wonder and amazement. I was like nothing he had ever seen!

"C'mon, Charlie!" I stopped and looked over my shoulder at him. "We have a reform to get to! Yours!" I cackled again and set off down the path back towards Ben Wade and the rest of the gang.

Charlie leapt back into his saddle and spurred his horse after me. "Hey, there, you drunk little girl! Come back here."

"Catch me if you can!" I crowed, bobbing and weaving.

"Ben Wade is down there, girly! He won't take no mercy on you, no matter if you are drunk." Charlie warned.

"I'll tell you a secret," I said giddily, once Charlie reached me. I tugged at his sleeve and pulled him down to my level. "He can't see me!"

"You're coming with me, little girl." Charlie commanded, wrapping his arms around my waist and hulling me up like a sack of potatoes.

"What's it to you, Charlie?" I giggled. "I'm already dead, anyway, it won't matter if Ben Wade sees me. Which he won't."

"I found you. You're coming with me!" Charlie's voice held a touch of finality.

The horse walked on, picking its way back down the trail and avoiding all of the rocks and rabbit holes and the other various pitfalls that were in the way.

"All these nooks and crannies!" I exclaimed. "It's like we're in the proverbial English muffin!" My head lolled back on Charlie's chest and I grinned at him.

"What exactly did you drink?"

"Let me think." I said conversationally, tapping my chin. "I think that the last thing I had was chocolate milk. Or maybe it was that Mountain Dew I had at the movie theater." I shrugged. "It was so long ago that I really can't be sure."

"Whatever it was, it got you loaded." Charlie remarked.

"No, no, no. It was the time travel that messed me up. Or maybe the invisibility factor. Or maybe both. But chocolate milk would only give me strong bones and teeth, and this is certainly not the caffeine rush that I get from Mountain Dew." I shook my head.

"I'm tired of riding." I commented a moment later. "I want to walk now."

"No, you are staying up here with me!"

"Am not." I retorted.

"I'll shoot you if you even think about runnin'."

"Already de-ead." I reminded him in a singsong voice. I twisted his fingers off of my arm and threw both of my legs over the side of his horse. "Tally ho!" I called, leaping off and landing on my feet with a surprising show of agility for one so loopy.

I took running as I weaved my way around all the large stacks of boulders that blocked my path.

"LITTLE GIRL!!" Charlie roared.

I heard the sound of Charlie's horse picking up speed and cantering after me, and then heard the zing of bullets bouncing and ricocheting off the walls of the canyon. "The name is Lola, Charlie!" I yelled, running as fast as I could down the final incline that poured out into the trail.

I'm sure that Ben Wade got the surprise of his life after I shot past him and he saw his right hand man come barreling out, shooting at nothing.