The Affair
The Sanctity of Marriage
The drive home is quiet, and I watch Larxene from the corner of my eye as she swerves from lane to lane. I'm grateful there is barely anyone on the road, or else we'd have crashed and spun off by now.
By some miracle, we get to our apartment and she skids to a halt, unlocking the doors but not moving to exit the car. I hesitate, my pulse picking up as images of what I did with Roxas flash in my mind quickly. "Is something wrong?" I ask, my voice booming in the dead of night. My wife looks over at me, her eyes vacant of any emotion and I don't like the expression one bit. Though it's one she's been wearing more often than not.
"Do you still love me?" The question is thrown out there so quickly, I almost don't process what she's asking. I blink a few times, staring at her in silence, which in retrospect, wasn't the best response. I should have answered her right away, with calming words like 'Of course I do!' or 'How could I not love you anymore?'
But would those responses be honest? Do I still love my wife? I honestly don't know, though I know for sure I can't tell her that. I have no answer to give her, at least, no solid response I am sure of.
So, my mouth remains sealed shut, our eyes locked though I want to look away. "Don't be stupid, Larxene," I say after the silence gets to be too much and I decide now is the time to exit the car. I climb out slowly, the world spinning and the ground unsteady as I take shaky steps towards our home. I hear her get out after me, her heels clicking on the pavement in an unorthodox rhythm as she rushes past me. I hear her whisper something as she walks by, but I don't care enough to listen.
I finally make it inside and find her sitting at the dinner table, pouring herself more wine and I stumble over, flopping into a chair. "What's your problem?" The words leave my mouth sluggishly, almost dribbling out and falling on deaf ears. Larxene stays silent, finishing off her glass before serving herself more.
"What's my problem? You have the nerve to ask?" Her icy eyes dart towards my face and she studies me with a look of disappointment. I stare back at her, empty and cold. I feel nothing when I look deeply into her eyes anymore, nothing like I once did. Long ago, there was a time when I'd loved staring into her eyes, her sarcastic wit and devilish grin won me over but now, all those things are crushed by the fact that she's a psychotic bitch. All I see when she looks at me, is discontentment and unhappiness.
She lost her happiness and replaced it with bitterness, the moment that ring slipped on her finger. She's not the woman she was before I married her. The reckless, fun-loving woman I wanted to grow old with vanished into thin air. Every day there is something she's unhappy about, every day she has something to complain about and I'm not like that. Life is to be lived, every day a fresh start. Not with Larxene though. To her, the days are nothing but more hours to bitch and moan about how worthless of a man I am.
If I'm so bad to her, why is she still here?
"You've been a bitch for the past 3 years, so yeah, I have the nerve." I take the bottle of wine from her and put it to my lips, watching her while I take a long swallow. Everyone says you're supposed to enjoy wine room temperature, but for some reason, I always like my wine cold. Larxene is too high class for that though, and drinks it how it's supposed to be.
"Maybe if you'd satisfy me." The words are like a slap in the face, and she knows it. It's probably the exact reason she said it. She smirks at me, taking the bottle and serving herself more. I watch her, hatred oozing from my stare and she enjoys it. The fucking cynical bitch. "We haven't had sex in months, Axel."
"Again...you've been a huge bitch." I stare at her blankly, and my mind brings up Roxas. Ever since I noticed how undeniably attractive the boy is, I haven't been able to think of anything else. It's taken over me and has become worrisome. For all my life, I'd believed myself to be straight, women always did the trick but for some reason, I just can't get him out of my head. And I don't know about you, but I wouldn't be able to fuck my wife while thinking of her younger brother.
She slams the cup down on the table and stands, wobbling over to me before dropping into my lap. I lean back and away from her, regarding her with little to no interest, but she doesn't seem to care. "Shut the fuck up, you bastard." She grabs the collar of my shirt and kisses me clumsily, sloppily. I feel her lipstick smear on my face as she deepens the kiss, her tongue reaching farther down my throat. I slowly respond, because I'm sick of listening to her, though I feel absolutely nothing. There is no reaction in my body to her touch, my pulse stays the same and my dick stays flaccid in my pants.
"Fuck me, Axel," She mumbles into my mouth, her hot, wine scented breath washes over my face and I don't say anything. Instead, she moves into action, hiking up her dress and undoing my pants. There isn't an ounce of want inside of me for this woman and I know she can see it. She is after all, staring right down at my soft penis. She ignores it though, and wraps her cool fingers around it, the frigid touch brings Roxas' cold hands to mind.
I stop myself then and instead conjure up images of an imaginary blonde woman, someone who isn't my wife but in a way, shares many similarities to her brother. My body finally responds to my wife's actions, and I thicken in her palm. If only she knew what was getting me hard, are thoughts of me fucking a woman who resembles her brother. Well, at least it's not literally Roxas, right?
I hear her grunt as she lifts her hips, inching closer to me and I clench my eyes closed, waiting for her to get this over with. The easy way I glide into her makes me open my eyes and I watch as she begins moving, moaning and arching back, holding on to my shoulders as she slams herself down onto me.
"Move for fuck sakes!" She hisses, wiggling her hips a little and I decide I might as well try and enjoy this. After all, it's sex, and I've always loved it. I throw her back onto the table and she makes a strange sound when I ram myself back into her, pounding her roughly over and over.
The pained sounds continue for a few seconds, and her nails dig into the table's surface. I thrust harder, until she's almost whimpering but I keep going as if I don't hear her. The looseness of her cunt throws me off. She feels strange to me, and something isn't right. My thrusts slow a bit, memories of what Roxas said earlier surface and the strange feeling is explained. All I can picture is my wife being fucked senseless by all her friends and co-workers.
She hits my shoulder when I nearly stop moving, demanding I keep up the same pace. The only reason I obey her command, is because once I cum, this is all finished.
I grip her hips roughly, and pull her against me, shoving myself deeper and making her cry out, either in pain or pleasure, I don't care. She keeps whimpering after that, the sounds pouring from her mouth only serve to anger me and make me treat her worse. How many other men have heard my wife moan out their name? The force I'm using is probably hurting her, but I know she deserves it.
I know it wasn't me that left her like this, nearly spent. Her eyes are closed, mouth hanging open to moan like the filthy whore she is and it makes me sick. I watch her face, but realize if I keep that up, I'll go soft in a few minutes.
I close my eyes then, and conjure images of Roxas. I don't stop myself this time, figuring, if Larxene can fuck others and act as if nothing happened, I can at least imagine fucking her brother. My mind replays his delicious moans and I imagine his tight hole, puckered and waiting for my dick. I can imagine the way my fingers would feel, stretching him wide open, gliding into him as I finger his hot entrance. I can hear him, begging me to fuck him and I bite my lip, thrusting into the body under me, digging my nails into her skin, replacing her with Roxas.
I'll feel horrible for it later because in the end, I'm still a human being with a conscious but I don't have the strength right now to deny the attraction. Why don't I picture the blonde woman again, you may ask yourself? To tell you the truth, I don't even know, and it would probably be a good idea and yet...I still imagine ramming myself into Roxas' tight body.
I forget I'm fucking my wife, and I feel my orgasm coming, warm and bubbling in the center of my belly. Roxas, Roxas, Roxas. His lithe body, his plump mouth. He is the vision of beauty, and if anyone ever said men couldn't be beautiful, they've obviously never seen him before. His face is so innocent, so filled with sweetness, it'd be fucking amazing to see it contorted in a look of pure ecstasy, shifting to show his sinful pleasure. That image, is what brings me to the edge. The thought of Roxas arching into me, coming in the height of his orgasm, makes me release. "Rr..." I bite my tongue before his name escapes and come back to reality as I spill the last of semen into my wife's wasted body. She pulls away and slaps me hard across the face.
"What the hell is wrong with you? I told you to pull out," She slides off the table quickly, and stumbles away from me as I bend over and dress myself again. I guess I didn't hear her.
I walk towards the couch, feeling exhausted and unsatisfied, which is strange. I've usually felt fulfilled after sex but this is the first time I feel like I've wasted energy on it. My head is pounding, and I feel sick to my stomach. I lay down quietly and listen as Larxene starts up the shower. I know my answer to her question now.
…
It's been a month and some, since I last saw Roxas, and I'm almost sure he regrets what happened in his bedroom that night at his mother's party. I don't know how I feel about it but I know I don't wish it didn't happen. There's a part of me that regrets leaving his room, but another part feels proud that I managed to pull away. I don't know why though. Maybe it's because even if I've grown to despise my wife, I still believe in the sanctity of marriage, though Larxene is trying really hard to kill that belief.
I wish she wouldn't have changed, because I don't know what to do now. I promised to be with her forever, for better or worse and I am a man of my word, but that is proving to be rather difficult. It could be that this is a rough patch and I should pull through somehow but I don't know what to do about these thoughts of Roxas.
I'm thinking about him even more than before, I see him in my mind during the day and dream about fucking him during the night. It's driving me crazy, because there's nothing I can do about this aching need. There's nothing that will relieve me of this torture. All I can do is whack off to the memory of making out with him, and call myself content that I have even that.
The bedroom door clicks open, and I listen as Larxene rushes out and into the bathroom. My eyes move from the television and I watch the hallway, waiting to see her emerge and ask why I didn't go into work today. As minutes pass, I realize she isn't taking a piss and doing her usual morning routine. She's throwing up. I mute the program and scoot towards the edge of the couch.
A faint, almost forgotten concern for her, worms its way into my mind. Memories of a long time ago, when she'd suffered from bulimia surface, and the worry I had felt all those years ago for her arises, only much, much weaker. I almost don't care and yet, there is a tiny sliver of it, pricking me behind the eyes. I stand up and make my way towards the bathroom, the sounds only becoming clearer the closer I get. At the door, I contemplate turning around and leaving her alone but I fight against it and knock softly, calling out and asking if she's alright.
"Fuck off!" She screams from the other side and I glare at the door, the thought of going in and drowning her in the toilet quickly passes and I turn on my heel, grabbing my jacket and leaving the apartment. She can fucking puke her guts out for all I care. I feel stupid, like a complete idiot for having even worried a fraction over her. I must have forgotten she isn't Larxene anymore but some sort of demon manifested in the form of my wife.
A/N: Here's another chapter for this! Hopefully this speedy update helps you guys forgive me for my suuuper long absence.
It is kinda tough to find the time to write now that I have a full time job and not to mention every weekend I'm traveling 2.5 hours to see my girlfriend.
I think I'm going to start writing on the bus ride there and back, that would really help the time fly by!
Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this installment and I can't wait to hear from all of you.
- From the finger tips of Sharmander