"A Life I Thought Would Never Return: Dean's Past"

Chapter 1

A/N: Sorry it's been awhile for me to update for this universe but here is a companion to the first story. Hopefully you read and like it (and review =D) but this would be the first time I'm writing in Dean's POV (therefore Alec's too) so I apologize in advance if he isn't himself for some parts (I tried adding in those famous lines though). This will be DARK ANGEL focused for the majority of it but it's in these categories so it's in the same one as STORY A.

REMEMBER, I WROTE THIS AS IF I WAS DEAN LOOKING BACK ON THE MEMORY (Dialogues are in italics and are from memory)

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural, Dark Angel or Twilight. They belong to their respective owners (I thank them for creating them in the first place).

Episode thoughts (are my thoughts) follow the original plot line of the episode (only alterations were made in come dialogue to merge the universes).

STORY A's Summary: SPN/DA/Twi Crossover. Bella finds herself being Victoria's target as well as having conflicted emotions when her past comes back unexpectedly. ~~~~Dean(Alec)/Max~~~~Bella/Sam/Edward/Jacob~~~~SPN (Season4), DA (Post-Series), Twilight (Eclipse)

STORY B's Summary: Dean lays awake in his motel room (moment in Chapter 8 of Story A) and reminiscences about his life with Manticore and his battle with the supernatural. (Goes through Dean's thoughts on events from his childhood to events in season 2 of Dark Angel and leading up to where Story A takes off)

Moment Summaries in Chapter (separated by the dividers):

Part 1 - Early Childhood and leading up to his permanent stay at Manticore (secret government facility focused on genetic engineering)

Part 2 - "Designate This" thoughts (Episode 2.01 of Dark Angel)

Part 3 - "Bag 'Em" thoughts (Episode 2.02 of Dark Angel)

Part 4 - "Proof of Purchase" thoughts (Episode 2.03 of Dark Angel)

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Dean's POV

I can't believe how much my life has changed, how much more screwed up it has become. I always knew that something was off about my life but I never expected this. I didn't know that I was a genetically engineered super-soldier until Manticore took me from my family when I was very young. I remember being raised by my mother, Mary and my father, John, yet I remember being brought back to Manticore to begin training once I could walk on my own. My abilities and special skills of an X5 were already showing. They told me that I was the only one to have a family as part of an experiment, a test to see if it was better to have a soldier grow up with family connections, to see if it allowed the soldier to blend in more, to socialize better. I didn't really care, as long as I got to see my family, I just couldn't tell them exactly what they did to me with all the training, the torturing, the brainwashing at times. It all had to be a secret.

When Sam was born, it was amazing to have a little brother, I was glad that he didn't have the screwed up life that I had but that all changed when Mom died in a fire when Sam was six months old. Dad didn't think it was a fire but something else, a creature. Dad started learning about hunting the supernatural, getting me to train and research too once I was hold enough. Dad didn't know that I was already training with Manticore but he still did it, teaching me everything he knew about hunting with weapons, legends, martial arts, signs and omens. It was definitely a different type of training from Manticore but none the less, I learned it when I 'visited' Dad and Sam. Manticore had me stay with them longer after Mom's death before taking me back and messing with me again. They tried to crack me, break me down but they couldn't. I wouldn't let them but instead I made them think that they had the perfect soldier that they were looking for. They weren't going to erase my family from my memories.

So I lived a double life that had incorporated each of its training into the other in a way. Sam too learned the hunter's life once he was old enough. I usually taught him when we were at Bobby's place. Bobby was a great hunter friend for Dad and he helped out a lot. I only got to visit my family during holidays and whenever 'normal' schools would have holidays. Sam still thought I was in military school. Usually every summer, we were at Bobby's place with Dad going on a few hunts as Bobby taught Sam and me more 'tricks of the trade' and such. Eventually, Bobby's niece Bella learned about the hunter's world during one of her summer's at Bobby's with Sam and me. Bella is so adorable and I just love her like I love Sam yet I wish they didn't have to live like this. They still had a chance at having a normal life. I have no chance of that. I'm a freak, a transgenic, an X5. I just continued on as always, hanging out with Bella, helping Bobby teach Sam and sometimes Bella when she was older and had more interest in it.

When visits were up, I'd return to Manticore and pretend that it was just another family experience vacation, never telling them about the hunts, the extra training, the creatures, which all would have landed me back in Psy-Ops. I didn't know that I had a twin until that trip to the basement, apparently the unit that escaped had my twin and back then I was being tested to see if the tendency to escape was genetic. I never told Dad about it, I couldn't but that was one of the times that I wasn't allowed to visit them, I had to be fully healed before visiting to show that the 'school' hadn't done anything to me but I knew that Dad knew the truth. I was allowed to spend my birthday with my family and on my 16th birthday, Dad told me that he knew about Manticore and the deal he made with them. He told me that he didn't know what they did to us but he knew what we were capable of doing. Dad said that Manticore told him the dangers that X5s face with the seizures. I was definitely shocked and confused on why I was still going through his training if I was already getting top quality training from specialized trainers. He said that we need all the protection we can get from the world we live in. I couldn't agree with him more.

I was given my first solo, uncover mission to observe Robert Berrisford. The mission didn't go so well with me falling for his daughter, Rachel and then warning them about my orders to kill them both. It got me sent to Psy-Ops once again with reprogramming this time, the whole thing. I didn't get to see my family again after that mission but I never forgot them. They made the memories of the mission fade but I made sure that my memories with my family were still there. I made sure to remember Dad, Mom, Sammy, Bobby and little Bella. After time, the torturing stopped and I was allowed back into a unit again. I started on schedule again like I do every time I return from a trip yet I knew that I wasn't going to be seeing them anytime soon. So I had to play the perfect soldier again, show that I wasn't damaged or useless.

Everything was going fine (as expected) until the DNA lab was destroyed during an attack on Manticore. Rumor was that it was a couple of the '88 escapees that took the lab out and that two were recaptured but one sacrificed himself for the other to give his heart away to his fellow unit mate. I didn't get why another soldier would sacrifice themselves to save a fellow unit mate, it wasn't like Manticore to allow emotions in their soldiers and that sacrifice sounded like they cared for each other, like I do for my family. No one at Manticore showed that much devotion.

Two months after the destruction of the DNA lab, I was placed into the breeding program and partnered up with none other than the surviving '88er herself, X5-452. I haven't officially met her yet but from the talk around the base, she was definitely something. From the moment I saw her in the cell that first night, I knew something was different about her, sure she was beautiful like the rest of us but there was something there that wasn't in the others here. She was different and I liked that. I didn't know it at first but I think I already liked her when I first saw her. Her attitude just made our 'relationship' a lot more interesting. Thanks to my memory, I remember that day all too clearly.

"Ben?" The beautiful girl asked me in confusion after I walked into her cell.

"What?"

"You look like someone I use to know." I could hear the disappointment in her voice.

"My designation is 494."

"His was 493. You must be twinned." It all made sense once she mentioned my twin's designation.

"493, your fellow traitor, went psycho." I rolled my eyes, I hated the time in Psy-Ops I had to spend because of him.

"What do you know about it?" She asked in a snarky tone.

"I know that because of him, I had to spend six months in Psy-Ops. They wanted to make sure it wasn't genetic. Looks like ten years in the world finally got to him." I didn't get why he cracked, I was out there, not as much as he was but still, I was still exposed to the world.

"It was this place that got to him." She was really riled up now.

"Whatever. Let's get this over with, huh." I tugged at the bottom of my shirt.

"What are you doing?" I could feel her eyes looking over me at my actions.

"We've been paired off……. I'm your breeding partner." I took my shirt off and threw it onto her bunk.

"My what?" She was definitely shocked and I couldn't really blame her, even the order seemed so desperate for Manticore.

"We're supposed to copulate every night until you get pregnant."

"That's sick." I could hear the disgust in her tone but I noticed her eyeing me still.

"It's your own fault. If you and your friends hadn't blown up the DNA database, they'd still be whipping up embryos and putting them into surrogates. Take off your clothes." I was starting to take my pants off.

"Get outta my cell." She ordered.

"We've got our orders." I defended but then her foot made contact with my chest, sending me back flying into the cell door. I just stared at her in shock. It wasn't often that you come across a soldier who will disobey orders.

"What the hell was that?"

"The only kind of physical contact you and I are gonna have." She replied sarcastically, I pushed off against the door and I started to circle around her and she mirrored my movement.

"You know this isn't a plum assignment for me either. You spent off your life out their in filth and degradation, I could catch something." I knew it was impossible for that since I too have spent my time out there but no one has to know that.

"Whatever you need to tell yourself, just so long as we understand each other." She picked up my shirt and shoved it into my chest. I took it and started putting it on.

"Fine, don't freak out on me" She gave me a confused look so I explained. "I took common verbal usage when I got cleared for my solo missions."

"Oh, you mean assassinations."

"It's my job, you gonna bust my chops about it, go ahead." I prevented them if I could but Manticore didn't know that.

When X5-452 disobeyed orders I knew that she was definitely interesting. When I came to her cell the other night and saw that she wasn't there, that didn't surprise me or the fact that she came crawling out from underneath the bunk. I too would have tried to escaped but that only meant that I would be putting my family in danger since that's the first place Manticore would look for me. Yet nothing surprised me more when she revealed her name to me, .since Manticore didn't allow names. It was forbidden and seen as an insubordination and no soldier wanted to be punished for it, but it was like X5-452 didn't care, like she too wanted to keep her identity no matter what. I could relate but I would never show it to Manticore.

"I'm gonna be outta here in five minutes, go back to my cell, and you'll get rid of me for the night, okay, 452." I was walking to her cell door since my time with her would be up for the night.

"My name's Max." She stated confidently.

"Whatever you say."

"You should have a name too." The suggestion surprised me.

"Well I told you my designation's 494."

"Doesn't suit you." I couldn't help but agree to her statement, I'm not a number, I'm someone's son…..I'm a Winchester.

"Really?"

" I'm gonna call you Alec…..as in smart-aleck." It was funny how she named me that after only seeing me a couple of times.

"Alec….I like it. I'll keep it…for now." I grinned; I couldn't help but rile her up with my last comment.

"For now? Names are meant to be permanent." I could hear the clicking of her cell door as it was about to open.

"You'll find out later why." I was halfway out the door when I turned around to face her. " See you around Maxie." I gave her a mischievous smile as I let her cell.

"Alec!!" I heard her yell but only a transgenic could hear it and I had to hold down my laugh.

As I walked out of her cell, I felt like there was hope for some reason. The fact that she attempted to give me a name had to mean she cared right? No other soldier would go out of their way and risk getting punished. I instantly knew that she could be someone that I could trust to help me get out of Manticore for good, to get back to Sammy and the rest of my family. It didn't help when Renfro ordered me to help Max escape and then retrieve her once she infected 'Eyes Only' with the retrovirus. It felt like betrayal and I didn't want to do it but apparently Renfro was filled in on my family before she took over Manticore and she used it against me. So I had no choice and I helped Max escape and followed her back to Fogel Towers where 'Eyes Only' was. I learned that they were somewhat of an item but I carried out my mission. When Max fought me I fought as hard as I could, for my family but once she stated that sending the broadcast would end Manticore, I didn't hesitate and I backed down. When Max went to get the antigen from Renfro and once 'Eyes Only' aka Logan fell unconscious, I easily escaped and returned to witness for myself that Manticore indeed burned to the ground. I knew it wasn't over and that I couldn't go home yet, not with Manticore officials trying to get all the transgenics back, I couldn't lead them anywhere. So I had to lay low and hide until the time was right to leave Seattle and go back to South Dakota and meet up with Sammy and the others.

I was doing fine with staying under Manticore's radar, I had a couple of deals going on and earning some cash but that all ended with a naïve group of young X6s and a X8 robbed a convenience store that I happened to be staying at its motel. With my cover almost blown I had to set these X6s straight and luckily with my past as a C.O. they listened until I told them not to go to the rendezvous point that Manticore signalled. No, they listened once they got shot at when they arrived and were rescued by none other than Max. Max came stumbling in with a wounded X6 and I put my field med training into gear and assisted Max in cauterizing the bullet wound. I stayed the night but I left the next morning, I couldn't get involved with Manticore again, I couldn't get captured again so I left Max to protect the X6s, but only after seeing her all nice and sweet to the little X8. She's never that way with me, always the bitchin' and blaming me and what not. But whatever, I know it's wrong to leave now but she survived in the world for ten years, she's a girl that can handle it, so I thought.

When I saw the X6 unit driving back towards the barn we were in, I knew there was trouble with Max. I knew they wouldn't have turned back if one of their own wasn't in danger so I headed back too and helped rescue Max and shut down their plans of regrouping the other transgenics. I don't know why, but it gave me the feeling like I did after a hunt with Dad, the feeling of knowing that I helped someone and that they are better off because of it. It was also accompanied with this good feeling once I saw Max out of that cage, again I didn't know why but it was a new feeling for me.

We all got out safe and before we split off, Max made us take the time to remember those that we've lost. That was a first but in that time I remembered Mom and missing Dad and Sammy. I even remembered little Bella and Bobby since they were like my second family. I just took off after that, leaving Max and the others behind, knowing that I can't get involved again with Manticore, not when I have to find a way to get back to Dad and Sammy.

It may have been stupid but I needed the money fast. I needed to get out of Seattle fast, get lost in the country and using the skills I was taught is just the way to make the money. It was definitely stupid to use my training in cage fights, like I knew that exposure was possible with the odds I was supposed to be going up against but whatever, I would disappear and soon be reunited with my family. So I won the championship battle against 'Mangler Miller' and got the $5,000 from Annie but I didn't expect some of Ames White's guys to come and taser me after the match causing me to wake up in a cage to my enemy's face. Joy! What's worse is that I made the stupid deal to save my own ass by killing three of my own kind. A soldier doesn't do that…….neither does a hunter. But then again, I needed to do everything I could to survive and get back to my life with Sammy, Dad, Bobby and little Bella. Geez, I haven't seen any of them in a long while and it's killing me. What if they were hurt? What if I could have prevented something bad from happening?

My brain was racing even more when White implanted a neurological bomb onto my brainstem and I was truly screwed now with 24 hours to figure out a plan before my head literally explodes. What's probably worse is that I have to go back to Max and weasel some of the other transgenics out of her. She's the only one I knew that was in Seattle and I just wished I could find three so that I wouldn't have to kill her for White. I don't want to die. I was also helping Max find Joshua, our dogman, but I had come across two of my victims while splitting off from Max. White caught my attempt of not killing one of them and demanded for the last to be killed and I only had 8 hours left………leaving Max as my only option.

The next thing I knew I've tasered both Max and Joshua and I'm straddled over Joshua to find out that he doesn't have a barcode which I need as proof. I'm freaking out now, my time was running out and my only option was laying just a few feet from me, helpless and scared yet still looking beautiful like the first day I saw her. The thought pained my stomach as I straddled over Max with a knife in my hand, ready to make the kill. But when I looked into Max's eyes as she whimpered at the name she gave me, I get this feeling that resurfaces from inside me that I haven't felt in a long time. I didn't know what the feeling meant but I've deal with so many things in my crazy life that this truly felt wrong for me, sure Max acted like a real bitch towards me and we hated each other based on our brief interactions but I couldn't kill her……I just couldn't. I would rather die and have her live than to live because I took her life away. Before I knew it, I was breathing hard on the ground beside Max with my knife stabbed into the ground and I thought to myself that my life was now over. I was never going to see Sam again and see him grow up. I wasn't going to see Dad and see that son-of-a-bitch creature die for destroying my family. I wasn't going to watch sweet Bella grow up during her visits and I wasn't going to hear Bobby call me an 'idgit' again. My life was over as I knew it as I lay on the ground as my time was running out fast.

My head was spinning from all the stress of the bomb lodged against my brainstem that the next thing I know some ex-Manticore lab tech was examining the thing in my head as Max was furiously pacing in front of me. She was definitely pissed and she had a right to be. I didn't deserve her help and when the lab tech voiced a money amount and I only had half, my life now rested in Max's hands as she had the rest of the amount. When Max offered her money, I was thinking no problem in paying her back the money but once the lab tech said that he's leaving town that night, something hit me hard and good…..emotionally. This scumbag was either going to remove my bomb or he was going to work on Max's cure, not both and I remember sitting there taking it all in as Max argues with the lab tech. I couldn't believe what was happening, I truly felt terrible when Max agreed to have my life saved instead of getting her cure. I could see it in Max's eyes the disappointment and the anger towards me, she wasn't going to forget it and possibly never forgive me and I knew that. I was the reason that Max wasn't going to be with Logan anytime soon and it was my fault. All my stupid fault that started with a cage fight, all because I wanted to make easy money just so I can go back to my family. I remember the last conversation I had with Max before I left for a weeks, keeping my distance. It wasn't a pretty goodbye, you can say but even with Max's mask on, I could still feel the pain she was feeling of what I had just caused. Pain that I inflicted on her which made my stomach hurt even more.

"I owe you Max, I know I screwed things up-" I rubbed that back of my neck as I looked up to Max after the lab tech ran off.

"Shut up! And listen 'cause I'm only saying this once. That guy was the last chance for me and Logan, he's gone and it's your fault. Don't think I'm ever getting over that." I could see the fury, disappointment and pain on Max's face and it was all because of me.

"I know." I said softly as I tried to overcome the lump in my throat.

"Just…..do me a favor, alright? Go away………I can't even look at you right now." Max's voice sounded like it was about to break but she turned away so I couldn't see her broken expression. I got up and hesitated at the door with the words to say running through my head and my guilt had taken over my body as I looked back at Max.

"I'm sorry Max, for everything."

I hate having a photographic memory, therefore I will never forget any of the horrific moments that I had to face in my life, like that one moment with Max. To have her pained face trapped in my memory and knowing that I'm the one that caused it was devastating for me for some reason. I couldn't leave Seattle yet after that, I had to make it up to Max somehow and I knew getting the money was the first step. What sucked was that now I'm back to square one and a debt to settle, as if I was worse off now than I was before that stupid cage fight.

Either way, I wasn't going home anytime soon that was for sure. It took me awhile to get the money for Max and the money I needed to escape and evade but I tried to do it as honestly as I could. Well not really, I mainly hustled it out of people when I was at bars outside of Seattle, playing pool, making bets, performing cons and stuff like that. I was using my hunter and my X5 abilities to my advantage while I tried to stay below the radar and not have a repeat like last time. A couple of times, a couple of hunts caught my eye but I couldn't do anything about it, not really, but I knew that if I saw it, then Dad or Bobby would have seen it too….or some other hunter for that matter. I had to focus on one thing at a time and it was to repay Max back so that I could leave her life for good. I felt a panged feeling in my chest at the thought of leaving but I just brushed it aside as I hustled more biker drunks.

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A/N: What do you think? Did I convey Dean's emotion for family right? Did Max and Dean (Alec)'s encounters resemble the ones from the actual episode (for those that have watched Dark Angel)?

I hope this helps the fans that don't know Dark Angel so that you could enjoy STORY A more =D

PLEASE REVIEW and tell me what you thought =D