My Warrior Angel

Disclaimer:
As always, I own nothing. (Except Michael, of course.)

Rating:
M (for rape & domestic violence + language)

Genre:
Romance/Drama (and, of course...my signature twist of angst)

Pairing:
JDox (JD/Perry)
JDOC (JD/OC)

Lyrics Used:
Megan McCauley "Reverie"

Author's Note:
Before I begin this chapter, I would like to address all the comments about JD's reactions to the abuse. No, he does not fit the typical profile of an abuse victim. That is because I am fashioning him after my best friend who was in this type of relationship. She wasn't your typical abuse victim. Before he completely cut her off from everyone she cared about (and who cared about her) we did manage to help her see that it wasn't her fault. But, soon after, (like I said before) he cut her off from all of her friends, family, etc. She was still convinced that there was no way out and her only option was to endure the abuse. That is until he finally snapped entirely and put a bullet in her skull. So, no, he is not the typical abuse victim. But, that is by design. I'm sorry if you don't like it or don't think it's realistic. But, it was my reality when I watched Brittany go through this relationship.

On a lighter note, I feel I should warn you that this chapter will switch back and forth between first & third person POV. The first-person segments will be all JD. The third-person POVs are all the other characters. I thought about giving each character their own first-person segments. But, I was afraid that might get a little confusing and this story really does kind of focus on JD more than the others, in a sense. And, with my rants and warnings out of the way, please enjoy the show!

PS,
Yes, I am on a Megan McCauley kick as I just discovered her music when I saw her & her mother on Dr. Phil, yesterday morning! Just thought I'd throw that out there. Y'all really should check her out. She's got great music. I think, if you listen to the songs that I use in this fic while you read it, it might help set the scene for you a bit. At least it does, for me. :)

Reverie

Left here alone
And unsure of what I feel
Unclear but I see
Just what I'm afraid of

I can't find my way anymore
And I
Cannot heal the wounds I've created
And I can't let go
Of what's killing me

Walking through the doors at Sacred Heart, I instantly felt every eye in the room on me. I've always hated the spotlight, but, today...Today it was even worse. I knew they were all staring at my black eye and I can't help feeling completely exposed recalling that I have yet to devise a plausible cover story to explain away my fashion choice and the shiner on my face. Damn it. My mind starts racing, trying to find the first reasonable explanation it can. I'm suddenly jerked out of my thoughts by a hand on my shoulder causing me to jump slightly.

"Bambi? Is everything okay?" Carla asks me, softly. God love her. I know she means well. Really, I do. But, I am nowhere near ready to face her, yet, today. I know she'll just see right through any cover story I give her. Fooling her will be harder than fooling anyone else.

"Yeah, Carla." I lie. "Everything's fine. You just startled me is all." I then see her eyes fall straight on my black eye. Here it comes. I think as I continue scrambling for an explanation for it.

"What happened to your eye?" Carla never did beat around the bush. Damn. I am so not ready for this. Well, here goes nothin'.

"Ah-well-I-" I stammer stupidly. But, before anything coherent comes out, I feel a strange combination of relief and fear bubble up inside me as I see Dr. Cox walk up behind Carla. But, any relief that was there dissipated rapidly when I saw him look straight at my shiner, too. Could this day get any worse? At all?

"Wa-hoa, there, Charlotte? What happened here?" He asked, his usual condescending tone ever-present in his voice. "What? Did we put on our make-up in the dark this morning?" I know Dr. Cox is just being himself, but, I just really can't take it, right now.

"Uh, no, actually." I speak up, finally finding a voice. "No, I just, uh...Tripped and hit my head against the bedframe, last night. No biggie. Nothin' to worry about." I lied. It looked like it was enough for Dr. Cox. Maybe. I'm not really sure. Watching him shrug and look back down at the clipboard in his hands, I can't shake the feeling that I had seen a hint of doubt in his eyes. I know for a fact, it was definitely not good enough for Carla. She's always been the mother hen of our little group and I swear she even has the mother's sixth sense for when one of us is lying.

"Bambi, are you sure you're okay?" She asks, reaching out to me again. I just shrug her off, trying to act normal. I just can't do this, today.

"I said I'm fine, Carla." I shouldn't have snapped. "Just let it go, please." I know she means well. I'm just desperate for a way-any way-out of this situation. Seeing my shot, I bolt for the locker room, praying for some peace and quiet.

Carla watched as JD made a quick and somewhat confusing exit. He wasn't being honest with them and that bothered her. It bothered her more that she had a sinking feeling that she knew what JD was hiding and it sickened her. But, what bothered her most is how Dr. Cox could just shrug it off like nothing had just happened. She knew as well as everybody else that the big bad Dr. Cox would never admit it, but, he was closer to JD than anybody else in that hospital. Well...almost anybody. She thought to herself as she recalled JD's friendship with her boyfriend, Turk. Quickly snapping back to reality, Carla lightly smacked Dr. Cox in the back of the head.

"Wuh-Hey!" Dr. Cox stuttered as he recovered from the shock being smacked out of nowhere. "What the hell was that, Carla?" He asked, both shocked and more than a little annoyed at the younger nurse in the pink scrubs taking her seat at the nurses' station in front of him.

"Whaddo you mean, 'What the hell was that?'?" She snapped back at him "You know damn well what the hell that was!" She insisted. Looking up at him, she almost laughed at the puzzled expression on his face. Really? God, how dense can the man be? She wondered silently as she pressed onward. "You do realize that JD just outright lied to our faces, right?" She asked, an uncharacteristically serious tone taking over her voice.

Dr. Cox just shook his head. Not because he didn't believe her. But, because he didn't want to believe her. He'd been here longer than Carla and knew all the signs just as well-if not better than she did. But, when it came to JD, he just...didn't want to believe that it could actually happen to him. "You heard the man, Carla. He tripped." Perry repeated, more to convince himself than Carla. "It was just an accident. Could have happened to any of us."

Carla knew Dr. Cox didn't believe JD's bull anymore than she did. She could hear it in his voice. But, still...She could tell he was gonna take a little more convincing. "Okay, fine. So, the shiner on his eye was an accident. Fine. How do you explain the turtle neck in the middle of May?" She asked, very matter-of-factly, hoping this would talk some sense into the older doctor.

Shrugging, Dr. Cox kept up his act. "So? He gets cold easy?" He offered as a simple explanation. JD is na-HOT being abused. Carla's just over-reacting. He tried to reassure himself. Like that was really gonna happen.

Sighing in disgust and impatience, Carla continued. "Oh, come on, Dr. Cox! Wake up and smell the coffee! JD's clearly being abused and it's all at the hands of that son of a bitch, Michael, he's been dating! God, I knew there had to be a reason I never liked him!" Seeing Dr. Cox look at her like he was crazy, she explained. "Several months ago, back when they first started dating, JD invited Turk and me out to dinner with him and Michael so we could get to know him. Michael tried too hard to make his relationship with JD look picture perfect. I knew he seemed phoney!" Carla went on, sounding more and more like she blamed herself. Shaking her head, she continued on her original path. "Look. Dr. Cox...You and I both know the signs of abuse. You can't deny that Bambi's got all the classic symptoms. The bruises, the non-sensical fashion choices, the flimsey excuses for the bruises...If JD were a patient, you and I would be on the phone reporting the abuse-"

That was it. Perry couldn't take anymore. "Well, he's not a patient, Carla!" He knew he shouldn't have snapped. But, this was all just too much for Dr. Perry Cox to digest all at once. "He's not a patient, here, Carla. It's his life, we can't tell him how to live it. And, we can't prove the abuse! Face it, Carla, there's nothing we can do!" Frustrated, Perry slammed the chart in his hands closed and stormed off.

Left alone to her thoughts, Carla sighed to herself. Deep down, she knew she'd gotten through to Dr. Cox. But, she still had no idea how she was going to help her dear friend out of the mess he was in. She did know two things for sure. One, JD meant more to Dr. Cox than he was letting on. In fact, she'd even go so far as to say that Dr. Cox was in love with JD. Sure, it would have seemed completely insane to anyone who didn't know the two doctors. But, Carla had always had an inate way of reading people. She saw how Dr. Cox acted around JD. Always seeking out JD's company but still working hard to keep him at arm's reach. And JD, well, she could always read JD like a book. Why else would JD put up with all the crap Dr. Cox threw at him. She knew the two men cared for and respected one another which brought her to the second thing she knew for certain. She was going to use this care and respect to save JD from his abuser. Now...the only question...was how?

The day had passed fairly uneventfully. Though, I had noticed that Dr. Cox seemed to be...a little different. Sure, he had called me a few obligatory girl names. But, they seemed...kind of half-hearted. I couldn't help wondering if Carla had talked to him after I left, this morning. I had definitely seen the concerned looks she kept shooting me all day. I could tell she didn't believe me, but, what was I gonna say? Really? What? Yeah, Carla, Mike beats the crap out of me on a regular basis. But, it's all good. Oh, yeah. That'd go over real well.

I was pulled from my thoughts when Turk clapped me on the shoulder. "Yo, earth to V Bear! Anybody home?" I must have gotten distracted, again. This is getting to be a real problem.

"What? Oh, sorry, Turk. What's up?" I ask, hoping that I sound convincing. I see a questioning look flash across Turk's face but, it quickly disappears as I release a silent sigh of relief.

"Me and some of the guys are goin out for some beers. You wanna come?" He asked. I appreciated the invite and it was tempting. But, I knew what would happen if I didn't have dinner ready for Michael when he got home.

"Sounds good, Turk." I started off. "But, I'm gonna have to pass." I hate the way Turk's face falls when I decline. Blowing off all my friends is killing me, but, what am I gonna do? I shudder to think what might happen if I defied Michael. It's just the way it is, now. "I'm just really exhausted. I think I'm just gonna go home and go to bed." Great. Now, I'm lying to Turk.

"All right, man." Turk replies. I can hear the disappointment in his voice. "Next time, then?" He asks, hopeful.

"Yeah." I answered. I know he can tell it's not sincere. "Yeah, maybe." Let's face it, we all know what that really means.

"Well, I'll catch ya later, then." Turk replies. "I guess." I hear the defeat in his voice. Things have changed between us ever since I started seeing Mike. Turk knows it and I know it. I just don't know what-if anything-can be done about it.

"Yeah, man." I reply, turning to leave. I can't take this, anymore. "See ya later." I wave goodbye to Turk over my shoulder.