Chapter Two
"This is atrocious."
"Kevin, be nice," Connor said.
"I'm talking about all the spelling and grammatical mistakes. Heck, this is violating elementary rules that I forgot even existed until now."
"Well, I never did so hot in English when I was in school," Arnold admitted. "That's what I have you for, right?"
Arnold and Nabulungi were visiting Kevin at his apartment that weekend. Over the past year the two of them had been living in Salt Lake City, helping out Arnold's mother with her bakery business. In their spare time, though, they had been collaborating on a series of children stories, harnessing Arnold's over-active imagination and Nabulungi's flair for storytelling. They'd asked Kevin and Connor to edit the manuscript for them, and Kevin, to the surprise of no one, promptly took to attacking it mercilessly with a red pen. It wasn't out of any intrinsic mean-spiritedness on his part; it was just that Kevin Price had very high standards when it came to – well, pretty much everything – and out of fairness strove to apply those same high standards to others.
"There are a lot of interesting ideas in there, you can't deny that," Connor said kindly to a somewhat dejected-looking Arnold. "I especially liked the part where the protagonist and the space fairy princess learned to overcome their cultural differences to defeat the zombie pirate armada."
"That was my idea!" exclaimed Nabulungi.
"Yep, that was all hers," Arnold said, beaming at his girlfriend affectionately, which she returned with equal fervor. They had been doing this all night, Kevin noted with some amusement. Trying his best to suppress a laugh, he glanced at Connor and mimed a discreet gagging motion. Connor shot him back an admonitory look that read, Oh stop it, it's sweet. Privately, Kevin kind of agreed. He'd just never say it out loud.
Despite Kevin's fronting, he was secretly thrilled to see Arnold and Nabulungi again. It was a chance to catch up and revisit old memories, to laugh and jest and tease, to dredge up stupid inside jokes that everyone else in the world would consider them crazy for uttering. Connor had taken time out of his very busy schedule to hang out with them too, and that was maybe one of the best parts.
Recently Kevin had begun to feel a slight disconnect with Connor, which he supposed was inevitable. Ever since Benjamin had asked him out, Connor's self-esteem had blossomed incredibly, and even though they'd parted ways amicably after a few weeks, the experience seemed to be the confidence boost Connor had needed to venture out into the brave new world of singles dating. This of course meant that Connor didn't have to depend on him solely for company anymore. Which was a good thing, Kevin reminded himself every time Connor brought home a new boy and Kevin had to tamp down the urge to size him up like an overprotective father. Connor was finally coming into his own life, and change was a natural element of that.
There were some things that hadn't really changed though, like Connor's uncanny tendency to zero in on anything Kevin did that was remotely bad for himself.
"Haven't you had enough to drink today?" Connor said sharply. At dinner, Kevin had broken out the champagne in honor of Arnold and Nabulungi's visit, even though he was the only one of the four who wasn't still a strict teetotaler.
"I'm under my limit. Jeez, Connor."
"Tell Arnold and Nabulungi about the time you drank a little too much at a party and woke up half-naked and locked inside a stranger's broom closet at four in the morning."
"Yes, Kevin, do tell us," Nabulungi entreated with a mischievous smile.
"I'd rather not." Kevin glared in warning at Connor, who just laughed.
"There were also scandalous pictures of Kevin drunkenly making out with his biology TA that night."
"Former biology TA. And in my defense, she's not that much older than I am."
"And I used to think of you as my role model," Arnold said, shaking his head almost pityingly.
"Oh haha, sure, let's all have a laugh at Kevin's expense, we've haven't done enough of that lately," Kevin said sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "Why don't we ever make fun of Connor for a change?"
"'Cause you're such an easy target."
"I'm gay, I have immunity."
"Anyway, we didn't come all the way here to make fun of Kevin, although that is fun," Nabulungi said. She took Arnold's hand in hers. "Arnold and I have something to announce."
"We're getting married!" Arnold burst out. He'd never been one for building up dramatic tension.
"Get out!" Connor exclaimed, nearly falling back in his chair. Kevin, for his part, had been rendered a bit speechless. "Show me the ring, I want to see."
Nabulungi obliged. "We are planning to have a big wedding here and also a small ceremony back in Uganda."
"And I want Kevin to be my best man," Arnold said. "I mean, if that's okay with you."
"Yeah...yeah, of course. I'd be honored to," said Kevin, having finally recovered his power of speech. "Congratulations, you guys, that's awesome."
"Gosh, look at you two, all grown up and leaving the nest," Connor remarked, looking a little misty-eyed. He took a hold of both Arnold and Nabulungi's hands with an extremely grave expression on his face. "As your former mission leader, I am going to give you guys my official blessing. You two were like my idea of a real-life fairy tale romance, and I pray that you will live happily ever after and endure no serious hardships for the rest of your days."
"No pressure or anything."
"You're ruining the moment, Kevin."
"I hope you'll be able to remember her name when it comes to exchanging vows," Kevin said, sitting cross-legged on the edge of his bed. Arnold was perusing his movie collection and growing increasingly alarmed at the huge gaps in Kevin's viewing history ("Not even one sci-fi film? Seriously, Kev?").
"Na-bu-lun-gi Ha-tim-bi," Arnold enunciated. "Don't worry, I'm gonna write it on my hand in case I get nervous and forget."
Kevin laughed. "I'm really happy for you, buddy."
"Thanks. It feels like everything in my life is finally coming together for me, you know?"
"I wish I knew," Kevin said, more to himself than anything. Arnold cocked his head in inquiry. "It all feels so - surreal, somehow. I mean, Elder Michaels and Elder Davis both got married right after coming back from mission, and now you're getting married, too. It's crazy."
"It'll be your turn one day, Kevin. Connor told me that lots of people here are wild about you."
"He said that?" Kevin asked in surprise. "Well, I think he must have been exaggerating a little."
"Hm, maybe."
"You know, there once was a time when I thought I would at least be engaged by now. It was all in the plan, to meet some nice girl at BYU, get married before we graduated, and someday raise lots of smiling, well-bred Mormon children together. That was what my friends and family always envisioned for me."
"And now your plan is to go around the world curing AIDS and fighting all sorts of weird diseases. You'll be like James Bond, only a doctor."
"I was thinking more like Gregory House, but Bond works for me too. My point is, if I'm going to accomplish everything I want to in life, being in a committed relationship right now is just not a feasible option."
"You sound like you've thought this through a lot."
"I have. And every time it's given me the same answer. I don't foresee myself actually settling down to do the whole white picket fence and nuclear family thing, even if I do get married at some point. And it's very possible I may not even decide to get married at all." Kevin heaved a long sigh. "My family was pretty upset when I told them, even after I said that I wanted to become a doctor and do incredible things with my life. You'd think any parent would be thrilled to hear their kid say something like that, but nope, I get assailed with the guilt trip."
"My folks were kind of the same way at first, when I told them I just wanted to write books and stuff for a living. But meeting Nabulungi might have helped change their minds a little. What does Connor think about it?"
"He thinks I'm digging myself into an early grave. But other than that, he's been pretty much supportive. Obviously his plans ended up changing a lot, too."
"He does seem kind of different now. He's much more...relaxed, I guess. I think you were good for him."
"I think probably just being in a more open-minded environment was good for him. He was being stifled, where he was previously living."
"And while you're off changing the world again, what is he going to be doing?"
"I don't know..." Kevin admitted. "I guess he'll just be here."
It was a thought that bothered him more than it should. He had no reason, after all, to believe that Connor would want anything to do with his plans. Besides, Connor had his own future to think about.
"Okay, you've got to tell me all the details of how he proposed to you," Connor said to Nabulungi, as they salsa danced together around the living room. The sultry vocals of Ricky Martin were currently blaring from Kevin's stereo. "Was it very romantic? Did he reference Lord of the Rings or Star Wars at any point?"
"Oh, I proposed to him," Nabulungi said, giggling. "If I were to wait for him to do it, we would never get married."
"A woman with initiative! I've always liked that about you."
"I only wish that Baba were here to see me get married," she said plaintively, lowering her eyes.
Nabulungi's father had passed away during the last few months of Connor's mission. It was a time Connor remembered quite vividly, try as he might to forget. Nabulungi had been nearly inconsolable, Arnold had been constantly by her side with reassuring kisses that went unheeded, and Kevin had been very grim, locking himself in his room for several days. Connor's faith in a benevolent higher power had been tested many times over the course of his mission, but never as much as when he'd gazed upon the lifeless corpse of Mafala Hatimbi and the grief-stricken face of his daughter.
"I'm sorry," Connor said, because there was nothing else one could say to that.
Nabulungi shook her head. "It is in the past. I am sure that wherever he is now, he is happy for me. Mama as well."
"We're all happy for the both of you, Nabulungi." He led her through a cross body lead and travelling inside turn, smiling as she glided herself back gracefully into closed position.
Her expression suddenly became very sly. "But enough about me and Arnold. What about you and Kevin?"
"There is no me and Kevin. Not in the way you're thinking, I presume."
"Oh, don't say that," she implored. "I have a bet going with Arnold that you two would finally get together this year."
Connor couldn't help but laugh at that. "Well, I'm afraid you're probably going to have to lose that bet. We're still just very good friends."
"But I can see in your eyes when you look at him, that you want to be something more."
"Nabulungi...please don't."
"All right, I will not pry," she said hastily. "You are a very good teacher, by the way."
"Thank you."
"It's such a shame that all your talent must go to waste. Do you not have a dream, like Kevin does? He speaks of his all the time."
"Well, I'm not Kevin. I do have a dream, it's just...not in the cards right now. Maybe not ever."
Nabulungi nodded thoughtfully. "When I was a little girl, I only had one dream, and that was to go to a shining paradise far, far away, where I could be happy. Now I am living in Utah with Arnold, and even though it isn't quite the paradise I imagined as a girl, I am with a man I love, and I can have many more dreams. Like writing stories that will make people happy when they read them. It is funny, isn't it, how life can sometimes answer your prayers in ways you never expected it to." She met his gaze with piercing, steadfast eyes. "Do not give up on your dream, Connor."
He managed a slight smile. "I'll try not to."
"Good." Suddenly she stopped their dance and released hold of him, as the last strains of music faded. Then she tip-toed very close to him.
"And don't give up on Kevin, either," she whispered very softly in his ear.
Connor was on his laptop, looking at a spreadsheet in which he kept inventory of his personal finances. Arnold and Nabulungi had already departed for the airport that morning, which meant that things were back to business as usual.
He hesitated, then clicked to add another row near the bottom. Into the first empty cell he typed the word "College."
It was a start, at least. Even if he had a feeling he'd be wallowing somewhere in the negatives for a while.
As for Kevin...well, that was a bridge he had crossed and re-crossed, many times. There were some things that even Nabulungi couldn't understand.
Like the fact that for once in his life, he didn't have that sense of guilt hanging over him like a shroud all the time. He found that it was getting easier for him to flirt openly with boys, to identify himself publicly as gay without stumbling over the word or feeling the impulse to ritualistically cleanse himself afterwards. He knew what it was like now to express desire, and to be desired – to submit himself entirely to someone else without worrying about the consequences, about the concept of sin or eternal damnation, even about whether that person would still be there the next day.
It was different with Kevin, somehow. The part of his brain that used to scream "off-limits" whenever Connor looked at attractive boys was still perpetually active when it came to Kevin, and Connor didn't think it had all that much to do with his gender anymore.
"You and Nabulungi seemed awfully close last night," said Kevin, who had suddenly appeared from behind him. "What were you two discussing?"
"How annoying it is when the people we live with just barge into our rooms without knocking." Connor clicked out of his windows and spun around in his chair with his arms folded, in one swiftly fluid motion.
"Okay fine, don't tell me. Anyway, I just realized that I'm going to have to throw Arnold a bachelor party at some point. Which, let's be honest, is going to end up being pretty tame, considering all his friends are former missionaries. It'll probably be us playing Parcheesi or something."
"What, were you hoping to get a stripper?"
"Is there one that dresses up like Princess What's-Her-Name from Star Wars? Otherwise, I doubt Arnold would be very into that."
"You are not getting Arnold a stripper. And honestly there probably shouldn't be alcohol, either."
"No strippers, got it. Just you wait though, I'm still going to find some way to make this the best bachelor party ever."
"I'm sure you will."
"Weirdly enough, all of this has me feeling sort of nostalgic for our mission again. Want to marathon all three Lion King movies tonight? I think I'm over my bitterness towards them."
"I would, but I have a date," Connor said, sounding torn.
"Your date is more important than watching Simba grow up, defeat his evil uncle, and gain back the family and legacy he lost as a kid?" Kevin scoffed. "Priorities, Connor."
"Well, when you put it that way..."
"No, go on your date. I'll just watch them by myself, along with this tub of double fudge mint chocolate chip ice cream I recently bought. But I wanted to let you know what you are missing out on."
Connor smiled wanly after Kevin's retreating back. "I think I have a pretty good idea."