Hello guys! This chappy is dedicated to WoodWad who was my first reviewer! Thanks buddy!
Let's see if my humor can amuse any of you guys. :P
Sorry for forgetting the disclaimer: If Warriors is mine, then I'm a llama (which I am not)
Lights come on and focus on the center of the stage. Three cats appear.
Shadowwing: Welcome back to…
ALL: Insert!
Hawkheart: Also known as Insertextremelycheesynameforawarriorsspoofhere!
Shadowwing: (slaps him with a fish)
Hawkheart: (gets hit on the back of the head, then face plats onto the stage.)
Songpaw: (clears throat, and in a quiet voice) As you may see, we are in the Insert studio, for the first time.
Shadowwing: We will give you guys a tour around in the next epicsode if we hit five reviews-
Hawkheart: Le gasp! Shadow broke the fourth wall again!
Shadowwing: (hits him again with fish)
Hawkheart: (falls face first into conveniently placed cage and faints)
Shadowwing: (smirks) Anyone else want to interrupt me?
Crickets outside: (chirps)
Shadowwing: Good. Now back to business. So, we shall move on to our awesomely planned at the last minute dare!
Songpaw: (walks over to Hawkheart and kicks him)
Hawkheart: (winces and pulls a slip of paper out of his ear) I'm magical. Don't ask.
Songpaw: (rolls eyes and walks over to Shadow)
Shadowwing: (as she unrolls paper ) Ok. So the dare, made by the awesome me, says: "Bramblestar gets a day off, and Cloudtail is made leader." Songpaw? Please do the honors.
Songpaw: (nods, then takes out a remote that says, "Dare to Action". He presses it.)
Shadowwing: Here we go… (a giant flat screen TV appears, and on the screen: )
In Thunderclan:
Cloudtail: Hm… So it seems like I'm the leader for a day…
Bramblestar: Yep. (appears lugging a huge suitcase) I'm leaving now, to Miami for a day. Buh-bye!
Everybody else: (gapes at him as he disappears into the forest, then turns to Cloud with wide eyes)
Cloudtail: Well, since I'm leader, then everything I say is law, right? So… (creepily grins) Time for the fun!
A few hours later...
Bramblestar: (returns, then sees all of the fainted cats on the floor, and an overly large castle) Hmm… Seems like Cloudy likes fantasy… (enters castle, and sees a large pile of white cat hair in the middle of the room. He pokes it with a paw) Seems like someone (*cough* Cloudtail *cough*) shaved. It seems fresh, because it's-
Pile of cat hair: (randomly explodes, sending Bramblestar flying into a room)
Bramblestar: (hits a squishy thing) Bah! ( turns around slowly and sees a familiar face)
Pink blob: Welcome home, Bramblestar.
Bramblestar: (blinks) Erm… It seems that you've grown a lot of weight…
Cloudtail: Yup. I told my sla—erm warriors- to catch a truckloa- erm some- food for me. Now, I feel like exploding.
Bramblestar: Exploding… Did you check what they gave you to eat?
Cloudtail: No… Why? (*beep beep beep beepbeepbeepbeepbeepbeep!*)
Inside the studio:
Shadowwing: I think I know what's going to happen…(explosion sounds within TV) Yup…
Songpaw: (notices that the TV has gone static) Looks like we need to repair some stuff… In the meanwhile, enjoy the story… Hit it Redpaw!
All right! :D
Ok. Here's the story. It'll be a two part oneshot, this being the first. Based off of random thinking in bed the other night. Call it , "Life".
Life. Such a simple word, yet it is responsible for the very existence of billions of animals. As I lay in my deathbed, with my offspring crowding around me, I wonder, just what is this thing called, "Life"?
As a kit, I had always assumed that life was a gift from Starclan. They give us this chance at existing, to learn, to experience. But, why is that? Does Starclan have a secret reason hidden behind all of their whispers of good fortune and future, a reason to grow such experiences and feelings that can only be developed through "Life"?
"Mother," my kit Ferndapple mews, jolting me out of my thoughts, "are you really satisfied with your life? Have you really had enough experiences that could be 'harvested' by the spirits that watch over you?"
I nod slowly, my voice gone after moons. This old body has no more use, but these experiences could be used by Starclan to ensure the safety of future generations.
However, as I grew older, and slowly developed into an adult cat, these thoughts of "Life" slowly grew, and I decided to search for the true meaning behind of it. I left my clan, and some of the old customs engrained into my mind, and wandered hundreds of miles, searching for a meaning. I met new friends, new enemies, and had a mate and a wonderful kit. But all of these experiences led back to one answer: "Life is used to harvest experiences".
But I knew there was something else. Why couldn't Starclan just experience it themselves? Why grant all of these lives, only to be snatched away again, to suffer loneliness in the stars, forever searching for loved ones, but to little or no avail?
Again, I left my family for a short period of time, and searched some more. Why is there such thing as "Life"? Why is it that "Life" is so short, even though it could be extended for more gathering of experiences? For the rest of the living to learn from the past lives, to adapt, to grow? Why is that?
Most of all, why are there no answers to questions like these? Why is Starclan keeping all of these secrets to themselves?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Even though I travelled all of my life, searching for answers to such simple questions, I never found any answers.
But, that is of no matter for now. I need to spend these last few moments with my family.
I manage to pull myself up, with my mate and Ferndapple on either side of me, and hobbled outside. I breathed in the fresh morning air, slightly scented with flowers, and moist from the morning dew. I turn and smile back towards my den, a neatly carved hole within a few rocks, most likely from the riverbed that dried hundreds of years ago. Yes. It is time for me to rest, for now.
Woot! 1,000+ words! Most I've even typed in one document! :P
Please suggest stories and dares! Thanks again to WoodWad!