When Leo said "Bring on the world," he meant it sarcastically. The universe heard, "Just fuck me up". As if he didn't look enough like a hobo already.

Thank God all of Leo's shit could fit inside his bags and pillowcases. He'd known from the onset that stuff got wrecked far too easily in the City of Miracles, so he hadn't brought much with him from home. Besides, if he really needed something, it wouldn't take him longer than a couple of hours to go home and grab it. Still, he had needed a place in the city if he planned on A) keeping a job and B) finding Libra, so he'd gotten himself an apartment.

Until the fucking eviction notice.

To be honest, he kind of preferred waking up to the dumb monkey smothering him. Less of a shock to suffocate nearly to death.

One way or another, muttered curses or none, Leo was still officially homeless and carting around three bags' worth of clothes and sparse electronics. He really needed to find a place to put it all down or his back was going to give out. He remembered the old scoliosis brace he'd had to wear back in seventh grade, and had no intention of reliving it.

And somehow he'd ended up in front of the back alley that eventually led to the entrance of Libra. Could he get there with all the baggage? Some of the passages were pretty narrow. Some distant part of Leo's brain paused to marvel at how a very wide man like Klaus managed to get in there when even a twiggy bastard like Leo had issues.

Eh, his stuff was all compressible, anyway. If it got crushed, it was no big deal, and his camera was heavily padded. He wasn't sure what he expected once he got there, but it seemed as good a temporary plan as any.

"Oh dear," Gilbert murmured.

"That's what I'm saying," Leo said. "I don't suppose you know any landlords in the area that have cheap accommodations without, y'know, being in the part of town that's gonna get me drafted into sex work or drugs. I promised my parents I wouldn't get mixed up in all that."

"Understandable."

"I should hope so."

They both drank their tea amiably. It was so nice to play things low-key for once.

Gilbert frowned thoughtfully. Or maybe not. It was hard to tell under all the bandages. "Master Klaus was interested in keeping a close eye on you."

"What with my penchant for trouble?"

"Among other reasons, yes. I am certain he will not mind if I increase your stipend so you can afford an apartment that is somewhat closer to here, and further from the unsavory districts. It's already somewhat strange that we pay you so lit-"

"Absolutely not!" Leo said. He looked nothing short of aghast. "There's no way I'm taking more money. I mean, I do nothing around here. I can't… I mean, I just wouldn't ever feel right about it. Hell, I already feel bad about the baseline stipend. I'm not even useful nine times out of ten. It's really nice of you to offer, though. Super-nice."

"You are welcome. Are you uncomfortable with what you feel is charity?" Gilbert asked.

"Uh, no, no. I just feel like I haven't earned it," Leo said.

Gilbert was silent for a moment. "Perhaps, then, we can provide you temporary lodgings here until you find a dwelling that suits your needs."

"Eh?! Aw jeez, I can't do that. I'm practically a hobo and this place is really nice and professional and all that."

"You are a hobo who works here, remember. If you don't belong in these halls, no one does." And with that, Gilbert stood, collected the empty teacups, and made for the door. He graciously made no mention of Leo's very red face. If people kept being this nice to him, he was going to combust.

No one was out in the lobby, and likely wouldn't until lunchtime or later. Maybe he could just… take a quick nap on the couch. He had been woken very early that morning with the eviction notice, and had only managed to fall asleep pretty late the previous night. It would be great to take a tiny cat nap.

Leo rummaged around in his bags. Yup, his heavily-wrinkled but still reasonably fuzzy blanket. He did have permission from Mister Gilbert, and it looked like the majority of his stresses could be postponed for a day that sucked a little less.

Leo conked out like a light.

He woke up later to the unwelcome sensation of Zapp's bony fucking rear end seated squarely on his mouth and nose. Honestly, if the guy wanted to sit on his face, he could at least buy Leo dinner first.