Chapter 2

The pattern of drops hitting the shower woke me up for the second morning in a row. What the fuck. I looked over at the alarm clock sitting on the floor. 6:45. Gross. Eric walked out of the bathroom, soaking wet. "Oh, Wendy. You're awake," he noticed.

"Sort of," I mumbled, rubbing sleep from my eyes. I raised an eyebrow. "Why do you not have a towel on?"

Eric blushed slightly. I liked when he blushed because he wasn't exactly a bashful person. I was about the only person who could make him red. "Well, when you and Bebe aren't up, Kenny and I don't really use them." He said this like it made completely sense. There was no way I was actually awake.

"So, you walk around stark naked?"

"It saves towels! Jeez, woman!" Eric whined.

I stared up at him incredulously. "I'd appreciate it if you told Kenny that I'm awake before I see something that I really don't need to see," I told him, pulling one of his huge sweatshirts over my bed head. I was in the mood for some eggs.

Once in the kitchen, I pulled out the skillet and cracked some eggs into it.

"I had cereal," Kenny's voice mentioned from behind me. I turned, hoping to God that he was wearing a towel. He was.

"Who said they were for you?" I asked.

Eric came up and wrapped his arms around my middle. I lifted my head and kissed his chin. "Yeah, get your own goddamn breakfast, po' boy," he laughed.

Bebe walked sleepily out of the bedroom; her curly blonde hair was absolutely huge. "Good morning, Bebe. Would you like some eggs?" I grinned cheekily at Kenny.

Eric, Bebe, and I ate our eggs and then I went back to sleep. 7 was way too early for me to be awake. I woke up again around 11. Bebe and Kenny were absent, but Eric, Butters, Stan, and Kyle were sitting on the couch watching some show. On Saturdays, Eric only had one class in the morning and then he was home for the rest of the day. One of our friends had organized a guys vs. girls football game that was taking place that night. Obviously, Eric was under no circumstances allowing me to play, but I was going to watch and go with everyone to the after party. The game wasn't until five, but I figured that it would be smart to get showered and dressed. I was about to step in the shower when Kyle walked into the bathroom to pee.

"BROFLOVSKI! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" I screamed, quickly grabbing a towel to cover myself.

He lifted the lid of the toilet. "Stop screaming. I just have to piss," he replied.

"Use the other fucking bathroom, asswipe!" I kicked his shin hard. I would've gone for the family jewels, but he was unfortunately too far away.

Kyle slammed the seat of the toilet down. "For the love of Moses, alright!" He stomped out of the bathroom mumbling, "Crazy bitch."

"Pig," I replied. In hindsight, I probably should've showered in the bathroom with a lock. I dried myself off, got dressed, and went to find some food. Opening the door to an empty fridge shouldn't be so expected. "There's never anything to eat around here!" I ranted, throwing open the cabinet doors. Finally, I found a box of pop-tarts. "Eric, how old are these?" I held them up.

Eric leaned over the back of the couch to look at me. "Oh! You found my pop-tarts!" He hopped over the couch and hurried into the kitchen. "Kenny will be so excited!" Grabbing the box out of my hands, he ripped open the packaging to reveal a glob of brown sugar cinnamon pop-tart moldy greenness. "Fucking weak, man," Eric sighed.

"Babe," I whined, pushing my nose into his shoulder, "I'm so hungry! What the hell am I supposed to eat?"

Eric ran his fingers along my head, comfortingly. "I'm sorry. My mom said something about bringing us some food some time soon. I don't know when that's happening though."

"She's probably too busy being a dirty slut," Stan whispered, earning giggles from Kyle.

"Ay!"

"Settle down!" I ordered. "And, that's all fine and fucking dandy, Eric. But, I need to eat now. Don't make me pull the pregnant card." I shot him a warning glare.

"W-we could go out to eat," Butters piped in for the first time that day. He was on the couch, curled up into Stan, and he looked like he had a hell of a hangover. Served him right, for spilling his beer. Yet again.

I grabbed my coat off the nearby hook. "Thank you, Butters Stotch!" I exclaimed. "At least someone knows how to keep a pregnant girl happy around here."

Stan and Kyle stood up and pulled on their shoes. "We should go to La Mesa," Stan said. "It's really cheap and on-campus."

"Or," Kyle began, "we could do the opposite of what Stan wants."

"Dude, fuck you," Stan replied.

Eric, Butters, and I laughed. "Only if you're totally wasted," Eric added. "We all know how the Jew likes his men."

Stan was slowly turning a little red. "Fuck all of you!" he ground out. He grabbed Butters roughly by the hand and dragged him out of the apartment.

Kyle watched them leave with a smirk. "They're so gay. Anyway, we'll catch up with them. C'mon."

"Are we going to that faggy mesa place?" Eric asked.

Kyle shrugged in response. "Wait, where are Kenny and Bebe?" I questioned. Another shrug. "I'm going to call her." I walked into the bedroom where it was quieter.

Eric followed me into the room. "Why do you have to call Bebe?"

I scrolled through my contacts, searching for "Stevens". I rarely called Bebe considering that we lived together. Plus, we mostly texted. "Fucking Kyle walked in on me in the bathroom and I don't really want to be around just him right now," I explained. I hadn't really wanted to tell Eric; things with him and Kyle had always been strained at best and explosive at worst. It was better to not stir the pot.

"THE JEW DID WHAT?" See? Explosive. Eric stomped out of the room, looking to kill, and I pressed the call button.

"Hey, where are you guys?" I asked, once Bebe had picked up. "We wanna go eat."

"Walking in the door as we speak," Bebe sang as the front door opened.

I grabbed her arm and dragged her into the bedroom; her curly blonde hair bounced behind her. Bebe laughed. "Que es tu problema, chica?"

I rolled my eyes at her poor sounding Spanish. "Oh, you know, not much. Besides Kyle walking into the bathroom and trying to pee while I was in the shower!"

Bebe's eyes grew wide. "Seriously? Did you get a good look at that ass?" She paused. "Oh, don't give me that look, Wends. Like you haven't noticed that boy has perfect assets." She was on a roll today with being annoying, between the bad puns and Spanish.

Eventually, we went out to eat. Afterwards, everyone else left for the football game. I decided not to go because I was very tired and my back was sore. I watched some TV and, surprise, surprise, fell asleep. The sound of the door opening woke me up. "Rise and shine, ho!" Eric called. Leaning over the back of the couch, he kissed my hair. "Feeling better?"

"A little," I replied. "How was the game?"

Eric rolled his eyes. "Some guys were being total pussies and wouldn't hit the girls, so we lost. But, we've been fucked into having the after party. Thanks to Butters, the town drunk, and Kyle, the village whore."

I patted him lightly on the shoulder and got up to change. The pants I was wearing were a little on the tight side, as most of my clothing was becoming. Bebe walked in the door and hung her coat on her hook. Everyone had their own hook next to the door, although I was the only one who cared about whose hook was whose. "I need pants," I told her.

Bebe's eyes followed up and down my body several times. "I don't know if I have any."

Eric was digging through the boxes that we keep our clothes in. He held up a pair of black sweatpants. "Eat your heart out," he said, handing them over to me.

"She can't wear those!" Bebe exclaimed.

"They're fine," I countered. However, Bebe still insisted on 'spicing them up' while we waited for people to arrive. I humored her because I was bored. Parties aren't very fun when you're married and pregnant. The other guys were first to arrive. Stan was toting an already tipsy Butters and Kyle had some dirty, sketchy guy with him. "We should invest in a tarp so Butters doesn't completely ruin our carpet," I said to Bebe.

"Seriously," she giggled. "What happened to our little Buttercup? He used to be so nervous and innocent. Now, he's nearly a lush and very obviously wants Stan's cock in his mouth."

I shook my head at her vulgarity. "He's still the same Butters deep down. Hanging out with these guys was bound to get to him eventually," I replied. We were sitting on my mattress, which had a perfect view of the door and the party. After around 20 people showed up, we decided to join in the fun. Bebe went off to find Kenny.

"What the fuck did you do to my pants?" a voice behind me cried.

I turned around. "Hey, I've been looking for you!" And, lo and behold, Eric was staring at my boobs. "Stop treating me like a fucking object!" I screamed.

Eric took a couple steps and pulled me into his chest. "A really fucking beautiful object," he murmured. I smiled slightly.

"Wendy!" Butters tottered over, a huge grin on his baby face. Obviously, it was 'happy drunk' night. "You should have something to drink," he slurred.

I giggled slightly at his forgetfulness. Eric shoved him. "Goddamn it, Butters. Wendy can't drink!"

Butters looked about to cry and I stood on my tiptoes to whisper in Eric's ear. "Let's go lay down. He's obviously drunk, OK?"

I dragged him over to our bed and we sat down. "I don't get why Stan lets him get so drunk," Eric pouted. After a little liquor, Eric was always more sensitive. I didn't mind it.

"It isn't exactly Stan's job to watch Butters, babe. You could watch out for him too," I replied.

Eric gave me a look like he thought I was insane. "If Stan is going to have butt sex with Butters, he could at least make sure he didn't get into too much trouble. I'm right."

And, that conversation ended. "How are you feeling today?" he asked after a while. Drowsiness had invaded his voice, which also always made him a little nicer.

"I'm OK," I murmured, snuggling into him. "Do you ever worry about whether we're completely fucking this up? What if we're doing everything wrong?"

Eric pressed a kiss against the back of my head. "Listen, ho, I know this wasn't how we wanted everything to be, but I think you're doing a pretty damn good job and I plan on being awesome at parenthood."

I giggled. "Of course you do."

When we fell asleep, people were starting to clear out the party. I woke up at about noon the following day and everyone was watching TV. "Bebe, come here!" I called from my spot on the mattress.

My friend glanced over from the couch. "Hey, I didn't know you were up!" She hopped off Kenny's lap and walked over to join me.

"I think I just felt the baby move," I muttered, roaming my hands across my small bump to find the movement.

Bebe cocked an eyebrow and placed her hands upon my belly as well. "I don't know if that 's possible so early, Wends," she replied. "Oh, Spawny!" she called to my belly. "This is your Auntie Bebe and we are all very excited for your arrival!"

Eric walked by and rolled his eyes at the blonde. "Stop calling the kid that, slut," he warned her.

"Stop calling me slut, fat ass, and then maybe we'll talk," Bebe responded.

The pair walked back to the couch, leaving me on the mattress. "Has anyone eaten yet?" I asked. I walked over to the fridge with the hope that we had magically acquired food over night. No dice.

"No," Kyle replied.

I swung the door of the fridge shut in frustration. "Be, want to go shopping for groceries with me?" I went to the bathroom to change and wash my face. When right outside, I stopped. "What the fuck happened to the door?"

The boys broke out in giggles. "It fell off the hinges last night when you were sleeping," Kenny laughed.

"That doesn't even make sense!" I yelled, exasperated. "How am I supposed to take a shower and stuff?"

Bebe handed me a ridiculous, decorated shirt to put on. "I guess you have to wake up before all these lame ass moochers show up," she said in response.

I rolled my eyes. "Did they ever even leave?"

My friend pulled on her bright pink converse and answered my rhetorical question, "I think so."

"I am not happy about this," I informed her. I dug around to find some pants that still fit me.

"Well," Bebe smiled, "I have no problem keeping Kenny in bed for a little longer every morning, if you catch my drift."

I smacked her lightly on the arm and groaned. We stood by the door. "One of you boys needs to go grocery shopping with us."

Kyle laughed. "Yeah…no."

"Would you like me to remind you of our friend from yesterday? The armed one?" I asked.

Bebe's brown eyes widened. "There was a guy with a gun?" I forgot she hadn't heard that story. "I plan on living until I'm on hundred, assholes. And that day is not today!" I like to think that I sort of trained Bebe in to her sometimes bitchy ways. I'm proud.

"Fine," Stan moaned. He grabbed a sweatshirt off the back of his chair.

"Thanks, Stan!" Bebe and I chorused.

By the time we got back from shopping, I was more or less dead, considering we had no car and I was carrying a few extra pounds on me. "Wends, you look like shit," Eric noticed as we entered the apartment.

"That's nice of you to say," I grumbled in reply. I placed a hand on my belly.

When we finished eating, it was around 4 and I was due for a nap. All the guys left after lunch. "Wendy!" Eric's voice yelled from the bathroom, waking me up.

I walked into the door-less bathroom. "Clothe yourself, please," I told him. "Bebe definitely doesn't want to see you." I reached up to flatten some of his brunette hair. He grinned and pulled me into his chest. "Stop! Stop it! You're getting me all wet!" I squealed. I pulled a towel around his hips and I dragged him out of the room.

I stopped on my way to our bed, realizing it was quieter than usual in the apartment. "Where're Bebe and Kenny?"

"They left while you were sleeping like the dead," Eric answered. He put on boxers and a red shirt.

I looked at the clock; it was 8. "I'm sorry, baby."

Eric took my face between his large hands. "Hey, ho, don't sweat it. Whatever's best for the kid, right? Anyway, poor boy and slut are getting me books to study for finals. I didn't want you to wake up alone."

"Oh, OK. Do you want something to eat?" My daily activities consisted of sleeping and eating. Weak.

"Yeah, make me a sandwich, woman," Eric barked.

He sat down at the table and I started making us each a sandwich. Later, I'd have to find a book to read or something. I couldn't distract Bebe, Kenny, and Eric from studying with the TV. "I think we should talk about names," I mentioned.

Eric dragged a pad of paper across the table towards him. "Hit me, babe. Unless you're into Adolf. I've always liked Adolf."

I laughed. "Shut up. What about…Raine? I like Raine," I smiled. I heard the pen scratch across the page.

"We're not having a girl though," Eric said. "I'm certain that's a boy in there. I like Max."

I thought it over, mouthing it a few times, feeling it on my tongue. "Max Cartman. It's nice."

He added it next to Raine. "Max it is." He set the paper down, when I brought him the sandwich, so that he could eat. The paper sat on the table for weeks before anyone noticed it.

A/N: Sorry this took like 8 years. Future updates should be much faster.