A.N. Ok so I didn't like the Booth chapter of this story AT ALL so I took it down, but tonight after some gentle musing, I rewrote and I'm much happier with the result now. Yeah. It's another somber story, I don't give a fuck, I'm a sad person. But I hope you enjoy it and I hope the message I'm trying to get through is clearer this time around =).
Does God decide when you are dead enough to find yourself at the Pearly Gates or does he leave it up to the professionals? And if "near-death experiences" as they're called (which makes no sense, either you die and are revived, you're alive, or you're dead.) were real, wouldn't they all be consistent? Surely God wouldn't change the experience for every person. Also, how does a near death experience work? When you die you go to Heaven and… what? You get the choice to stay in Heaven or go back to Earth or do you just chat with God until the doctors revive you? Then is it really God's choice or is the choice borrowed by some doctor with a defibrillator in his hands?
God says he controls everything. Everything. So… As I'm sitting here in church going through the motions of a typical Catholic service, with these thoughts going through my head instead of the innumerable Hail Mary's, I can't help but wonder why Temperance Brennan isn't wandering around denying his existence. You'd think it only be fair to perform a miracle for a non-believer, a blatant one that no one could look past, before you killed them off, right? I mean, she was a good person. Sure her experiences made her a little cold to the 'Big Man Upstairs', but she saved lives, she gave people their names back, and I don't even know if there's a word for what she's given me. She would have known. But she'll never be able to tell me because she somewhere six feet below my feet becoming what she loved so much in life. Is there something else that makes someone else more qualified to go to Heaven?
And suddenly, I don't want to be here anymore. Parker doesn't understand, We've never left church early. Ever. All he can really do is follow behind me, confused as he is, I just wish I could explain to him that I don't want him learning to love a façade.