I could hear the sound of very soft footsteps above on the floor over the basement. L was on the move, I had never actually been present with him when he had gone out rarely I never had the mind to ask to join him. He had been used to solitude for so long that I often thought my presence was probably more of an irritation to him than anything, and even though there was never a time he requested I leave him alone or asked for me not to disturb him I always had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that he would have preferred if he saw little of me. It was a painful feeling knowing that the one thing in my life I truly wanted I could not have and what was worse than my obsession for him was that it was unbreakable I had desired him just as much as I had six years ago and even though there were times I tried to convince myself to give up because it was clear that there was never going to be nothing more than friendship between us I simply could not place it aside, the truth was I was desperately in love with him even though most of his past was a secret bound with chains and locks stored away in that mind that never seemed to open. I ached for just one night where he would tell me what exactly happened to him on the night he was turned.

I looked up from the book and closed it; I would resume my reading during the day while L continued to write his thesis in the study. I quickly gathered up the kerosene lamp and rushed up the stairs quickly in hopes I would catch him before he left to search out some local vampires. It wasn't going to matter which vampires he entrusted with for the patrol, they all adored him, he was like a God to them which I completely understood.

I exited the basement and closed the door behind me; re attached the padlock and clasping it shut. He was standing there slightly hunched over, his hands buried inside the pockets of the navy slacks, feet bare as they always were and a white button down shirt with the sleeves down and untidily hanging over the waist of his trousers. The shadowy lines underneath his hypnotic eyes appeared even darker than the night previously; they stood out substantially against the tone of his pastel and delicate flesh. I had never known L to sleep and I had always questioned how someone who deprived himself on a necessity for all creatures could unremittingly have an ever running mind.

"Are you getting ready to leave?" I asked him casually

"Yes, shortly. I want to discuss something with you first and I have been standing here contemplating on how to bring up the subject material, I didn't anticipate you coming up for quite some time so I thought I would have had the period required to decide on how to approach you with my issue" he replied

I snuffed out the flame in the kerosene lamp and placed it gently on top of the storage cupboard, which I would put back in its place once it had cooled down. I turned back around to face L

"I am going to go write that letter you requested me to send to your nephew, if you would like some more time to think" I replied

I wasn't sure what it was that L wanted to discuss with me, but then I never really could predict what L was going to say. Whilst his eyes were hauntingly beautiful they did remain inexpressive most of the time, I had always believed that it was a defense tactic of his. Even though he very rarely socialized and despite his peculiar yet mysterious appearance people and vampires a like quite enjoyed his personality. He was happy to have a conversation as long as no questions were asked about his personal life and he did quite thoroughly enjoy it when people would challenge his intelligence, he would always prove to be the smarter man but if someone were to undermine him or label him as unintelligent or a nothing more than a mimic of greater minds that came before him he would have a rather dangerous temper and would often lock himself in the library and refuse to speak even with me. That was something we both had in common, we were rather childish.

"No, I think I should be able to get to the point without me continuing to ponder. Perhaps we should have a seat, come with me to the study"

In general L was not ill tempered and he very rarely even raised his voice above the seductive low monotone that seemed unique to him. He was actually quite kind and friendly I had seen it several times over the course of the years I had been with him, especially during the day when the thick shades were drawn and the mansion was lit up by candles because of the void of sunlight in the home and we had sat and played several friendly games of chess. We had discussed history and mythology, things that strike both our interest we even sometimes debated although it never got heated. Being with L was pleasant however those days where we would have those friendly encounters made me want him even more so it was a cruel torture on his part because I was sure that he knew very well how I felt about him and I knew for a certainty that if the worse come to worse he knew I would die for him.

We made our way into the study, a large room that was furnished with only two chocolate brown wooden chairs that were padded with fine black silk with legs shaped into fancy filigree resembling something similar to rolling waves in the ocean. He sat in his traditional position, balancing on the balls of his feet with his knees resting against his chest and sitting marginally forward so his spine did not touch the back of the chair. I sat down and folded my right leg over my left, inclined into the wood and waited for him to proceed with what he wanted to share with me. His eyes were fixed on mine and I could feel my heart start to accelerate in pace, it was part anxiety and part because of the way he seemed to reach into me and touch my soul with nothing more than a glance.

"You have been with me for six years Light and for those six years you have been loyal to me, you have never argued with my requests and you have never denied them either. You have been a faithful friend and as you know I trust you more than anyone and I would not take a second thought into leaving my existence in your hands. Since these deaths have come to the surface I have been somewhat concerned about not only my safety but yours as well. I know that it is often hard for you to be here with me because I do not like to discuss myself and there for you have had to trust someone you know little about and yet you have never pressured me into telling you about myself"

He paused for a moment and placed his thumb to his lips and parted them slightly. The tips of his protracted incisors gleamed in the candle light, my eyes fixated on the sleek pearl white peaks that I had dreamed about so many times. I was almost hypnotized by them and I could feel my lips faintly quake as I pictured them sinking into the light golden-pink tender flesh of my jugular. I blinked and drew my attention back to his onyx colored pools and waited for him to continue what he was saying. I could see that he was thinking, when he was deep in thought he always placed his thumb to his soft lips, lips that I had a burning passion to kiss, the thin pink pillows that I wished I could feel against my skin, teasing me making me submit to his true strength that I had known he had but never saw.

"You have been kind to me even when I have made things hard for you; despite what you may think I hold you in high regards both in my mind and in my heart. In two thousand years I have never had the pleasure of someone who was able to tolerate my personality and yet with no complaints and no disagreements you have continued to stand by my side and I am well aware that you would gladly risk your life for me. I feel as if our friendship has been very rewarding to both of us however I am coming to a point where after two thousand years of depriving myself of things that are natural all beings I feel I have reached my threshold and I can no longer survive the way that I have been" He paused again

My anxiety levels had reached a peak. I wasn't sure what he was trying to tell me and truthfully it had me worried. It sounded as if he was having existential crisis and he was contemplating his own demise. A part of me hoped that this was him trying to tell me he needed more from our friendship, but with L being a closed book and the fact I had never seen him bring home anyone else on the rare occasions he had gone out I was sure that he had no interest in any form of romantic attachment I was sure he didn't even know what love was or even how sexual intercourse worked. I had only known him six out of those two thousand years and I was unaware of what he used to be like or even how he was as a human, so the conversation was leaving me with a lot of questions and that in itself was making me excessively uneasy.

I fiddled with my shirt trying to distract my mind in hopes the fear would subside. I managed to calm down especially since I seemed to neglect the fact he would be able to hear how rapid my heart was beating.

"You do not need to be nervous I am not contemplating suicide nor am I asking you to leave" He replied

"Sorry L, I do try to keep my emotions intact in your presence I don't purposely try to torment you" I said to him

"I have asked you before that when you are here and we are alone to please call me Lawliet, it is a daily reminder to me that I do have a bond with someone" He said sternly yet still not raising his voice

'Lawliet, I don't want to rush you with what you are trying to tell me but even though you have said I don't have to be nervous I am still human and when it comes to matters regarding you I do become rather anxious, I am sure you are well aware by now how I see you and you are also probably aware that you occupy my mind more often than I should allow you to. I appreciate that you respect our friendship and I am glad that you recognize my ongoing loyalty and that I would gladly give my life up for you but if you could and if you don't mind please get to the point" I replied

He looked at me and suddenly his lips curled up into a full smile. It was the first time in me serving him that I had actually seen him smile like that. His fangs full and well in my view and the rest of his teeth were so perfectly straight and the whitest of white. It was a remarkable and beautiful sight. He was truly a stunning man.

"Your beautiful" I found myself saying without even realizing

The smiled still remained on his face

"Pardon?" He said with an inquisitive tone

"Nothing, please continue with what you were saying" I said quickly

I already knew he heard me his hearing surpassed every other creature's, he would hear a pin drop from miles away and when my heart thumped rapidly, even if it were at normal pace it would have sounded like a drum banging inside his skull and how he managed to concentrate with that was beyond me.

"I would like to make you my successor" He suddenly said

The smile vanished from his face and it returned to his typical inexpressiveness.

"Your successor? What exactly would that entail?"

I knew what it meant to be a successor in human terminology but not much had been mentioned about what it meant to be a vampire's successor. L had not spoken about it before and with little to nothing ever recorded about it I was curious and slightly confused.

"Firstly I want to reiterate, even if you do not agree to it, I would still as I always will consider you as the only one I trust and feel a bond with. A vampires bloodline is his or her ultimate pride, vampires like humans want their heritage to continue throughout history, I do not wish to die without knowing that my blood will carry on out through the centuries to come. I am rather proud of my life as a vampire, I believe the reason I am so highly regarded is because I have virtues and morals uncommon to my kind and I would like that if anything should happen to me that those same principles continue to be carried out"

His gaze didn't move from mine he didn't even blink and I felt like I was dreaming, what I was hearing was that L was considering turning me. All I had ever wanted was his affection, I wanted him to lust for me and desire me. I wanted him to feel something other than friendship towards me like I had for him hopelessly for the last six years

"In two thousand years I have not been with anyone vampire or human simply because I have not trusted anyone. When you approached me on the night that we met you greatly intrigued me, something that nobody else had done. The time you have been with me you have been nothing but loyal and at no time have you ever angered me or caused me frustration. I know very well that there have been times that you have believed that your presence is a burden to me but it could not be further from the truth. If I were to be completely honest, as I always am, if you were to vacate from this mansion and vanish from my existence it would deeply sadden me as at no point have I ever wanted our friendship to ever cease. Like you would for me I would sacrifice myself for you if it comes to a point where it was a choice between your life and mine"

I was completely dumbstruck. L had never expressed any thoughts he had towards me before and even though it frustrated me and left me constantly wondering if I was nothing more than a slave to him to hear him admit he always held me in high regard was worth the frustration and angst. It was even worth the constant torment of my lust, desire and love for him. The nights I had been alone in my room and his face, his scent, his voice echoing in my mind and dreams wrapping around me like a mist of pure passion causing me to masturbate several times over aching for his hands to be the ones touching me instead of my own. That pain was worth going through just now knowing that I did mean something to him.

"Light I am offering you the one thing you have truly desired, the one thing that I know has caused you anguish and pain, I know how you regard me and I know that the nights you have spent alone in your room while I have occupied myself with writing where you have pleasured yourself with me in your heart and mind have hurt you deeply. I am offering you me and eternal life. You will not have to suppress your hunger and desire for me you will not have to spend nights pleasing yourself and you will no longer have to fight with your thoughts about whether or not I care for you. I will tell you this now, you have been the only thing I have truly wanted in my life as a vampire and the only reason I have not told you this until now is because for the last six years I have been sure that if I drank from you I would not be able to stop but I have decided that if this is what you truly want if you want to be in a relationship with me and you want me to drink from you then I will gladly turn you and hope that you would agree to spend eternity with me. I would also share with you my life, I will tell you who I was, what happened to me and anything else you wish to know"

My heart had stopped. Had I fallen asleep and not realized? Had I somehow gone out of consciousness? Was I only hearing what I wanted to hear from him? I couldn't speak, I couldn't breathe couldn't even think anything more than questions

"However"

I knew it had to be too good to be true. I knew there was a however, I felt myself silently curse him for dangling what I wanted in front of me and ripping it away with in a flash

"I do not want your answer now. I would like, if you don't mind for you to think about what this would truly mean for you, what you would be leaving behind as a human and knowing that becoming a vampire will not be easy, it is painful and it can destroy you mentally if you are not fully prepared for it. I want you to allow yourself a period of one month to decide your fate. If you want to become my successor and you would like to be my lover for the rest of eternity, I mean that you will be faithful to me as I would be to you and you agree not to feed off of humans then I will gladly do that for you. I am asking you not as your friend but as your potential partner and life taker and giver to please think this out thoroughly and if your answer is yes then on the full moon at the end of the month is will turn you" he finished

I didn't need a month I knew my answer but as I always had I was going to respect his wishes I was going to take the month and think thoroughly about what it was going to be like for me to become a vampire. It was going to be a hard and long month but ultimately if it meant I would become a vampire and I would have the man I had craved for six years as my lover for eternity that that month seemed so minimal

"I will respect your wishes, as I always have Lawliet and I will consider what you are offering with great thought. Thank you for putting me out of my misery and putting my mind at rest. I will leave you to do what you have to do and I will write the letter you requested for your nephew and insure it is on its travels in the morning" I replied

It was going to be hard not to touch him now that I knew that is what he wanted. It was going to be a new brand of torture knowing that he desired me as much as I desired him and not be able to be with him for another month, the thought of finally dancing my fingers along his milky flesh, the thought of his lips against mine, his fangs penetrating me, devouring the crimson liquid that flowed within me was what was going to be fueling me every night until the full moon at the end of the month. Whatever I was sacrificing as a human and no matter how much pain I was going to go through it was all going to be worth it to be with him.

I stood up from my chair and tried to hide my obviously arousal.

"Lawliet, there is one question that I want to ask you" I said

I hoped that he would not notice that I was becoming excessively hard within my trousers

"What would you like to know?" He said gently

"Have you always known how much I have yearned for you?" I asked

"Yes, you do not do a very good job at disguising it Light"

He smiled at me again and looked down at the tent that I was sporting in my trousers, my cheeks slightly flushed with pink

"You shouldn't be embarrassed I think it is flattering that someone as odd as I would have such a reaction on you"

It made me smile and I left the room and made my way to the library to begin my letter to L's nephew in France. My heart and mind were in a flutter and the end of the month was so close in my reach.