A/N: So, I'm moving in a week or so, and seriously need to pack... so, of course, I'm writing instead. Honestly, when the semester starts back up at the end of August, you, dear reader, will be flooded with chapter updates. Until then, you have to wait until I'm procrastinating something... and, this evening, you're in luck. I suffer from a chronic and acute lack of motivation when it comes to practical responsibilities... in case you couldn't tell.
I'm going to pimp the sequel to Eyes Turned Skyward now. It's called For There You Have Been, and I've updated three times in two days, so you should go read it. After you read and review this, of course. And, final warning, if you have NOT read Eyes Turned Skyward, I would stop what you're doing and go take a look before continuing. The first chapter of this story was vague enough to work, but we're getting into plot now and I'm not going to reiterate everything that happened in ETS from Edward's point of view. The story progresses differently than Twilight, and your ass will get hella lost if you don't go read ETS first. That's it. Last warning. Still wanna keep going? Fine, but I hate to say I told you so.
I don't own this. If I did, I could hire movers to pack for me.
Chapter Two
My life, for lack of a better word, changed the day we moved to Forks, Washington. We had been going through a rough patch as a family, and Carlisle had always been fond of the area, so we made a pact to live together again and play the "high-school game," as Emmett loved to call it.
We each had our roles. Carlisle was the hard-working-yet-caring father. Esme was the ever-doting-yet-strict mother. Emmett, Rose, Jasper, Alice and I would enter in the same grade and try to blend in. In the past, we would play the game more frequently. In the past, when we had first come together, it had been more fun. We'd make bets on who could get away with the most. We'd stage little public fights, the more angst-ridden the better, generally over sibling rivalry or vanity or other such petty nonsense. We were reckless and it was alright because between my ability to listen in on the thoughts of those around us and Alice's ability to see danger coming, we could always run away if there was a problem.
But after a decade or so, the game grew tiresome. We kept it up, mostly for Carlisle and Esme's sake. They wanted so desperately for us to be happy, to exist as a unit. They wanted for us to be a true family. And it just wasn't possible anymore. Not in the way they wanted. We had all led different lives. We had all come from different times. We had all come from different people and places and circumstances. Our common bond was one of calculation and circumstance. We relied upon each other, we loved each other, but we were not a "flesh and blood" family. My "siblings" had paired off, found their mates, bonded with another, and they had no inherent need to rely upon the group for emotional support. They had no inherent need outside of their individual relationships. Our togetherness as a family was for comfort alone. For back-up. For varied conversation and shared experiences. As much as Carlisle hated the term, we were, in fact, a coven.
We had splintered off again. Each couple had gone away on their own, and I was left with five years of blissful solitude. When I got lonely, I would visit the Denali clan in Alaska, our "cousins" as Carlisle loves to call them. Their unit consists of five vampires, with only two paired off, so it was comfortable being with them, being with others who had not sought out or found the trappings of a permanent relationship. In an existence as closed-off as mine, I would not go so far as to call them friends, but they are closer than most outside of my family to me, and have always been more than happy to lend an ear to my troubles or provide more physical means of comfort when my baser needs have arisen.
It was Esme's supplications that brought us back together, her need to see her "children" reunited as a family once more. Her maternal instincts had presented themselves with a vengeance, and we had each spent enough time on our own that it would have been callous not to submit to her wishes. And so Carlisle chose Forks. The five of us, for Alice and Jasper had not yet joined the family, had lived a few miles outside of Forks nearly 80 years ago in Hoquiam, and Esme had fond memories. Carlisle felt Forks would be as close as we could get without pushing it too far. As immortal beings, it was necessary that we not frequent the same places too often throughout time. Such are the drawbacks of endless life.
Esme had our home constructed on the outskirts of town, and Jasper bribed all the right people so that the house was built without a great deal of local attention drawn to it. Outside contractors were used, outside architects. We added security measures that the locals need not know about. She furnished everything but our individual rooms, though I gave her full control of my own, and before long we had moved in. It was the day we arrived in Forks that Alice first saw her, and she had been so startled by the vision that I managed a glimpse of her, too.
We were hunting for the first time near our house, acclimating ourselves with the land and it's wildlife. It was just Alice and I, laughing and talking as though we hadn't been parted for half a decade. I was happy then, or content, at least, teasing her about a squabble between her and Rosalie when she froze. She stood stock still and her eyelids began to flutter almost imperceptibly. That is the way Alice always reacts when visions come to her unbidden, when they arrive without being sought after, and initially I wasn't surprised. Initially I didn't even react except to stop talking and concentrate on her mind, curiously seeking out the vision that was so unexpectedly playing out before her. And, for a moment or so, it was nothing special. Just a meadow. A beautiful meadow, but common nonetheless. Green light filtered down through the thick canopy of trees that surrounded it, the ground covered in tall grasses with the occasional wildflower struggling its way up through the tangle of blades. It was lovely really. But just a meadow. Until someone entered it. And then my world changed.
It was a girl. No, a woman. She was too beautiful to be thought of as merely a "girl." Too lovely. Too charming. Too exquisite. The simple reflection of her future existence made me hold my breath, worried that if I made a sound the vision would vanish before I could understand her. She had long, thick chestnut hair that tumbled down her back in a tangle silky of curls and waves. It was unruly and regal and made my fingers twitch with longing to touch it. And her face. I could only see her in profile at first, but then she turned as she neared the center of the clearing and I became dizzy as the fullness of her perfection hit me. She was an angel. She was a goddess.
Her skin was pale, made even more so by the light, but her cheeks were flushed and her lips were such a beautiful, dusty pink. Her eyes were dark chocolate, deep and brilliant, framed by long, thick lashes, and as a tangle of hair fell into her face I found myself reaching out to move it aside, forgetting that this was simply a vision of the future before me and not the real thing. I dropped my arm as I realized the folly of my action, and felt an ache in my chest where my heart used to beat. And what happened next... the ache intensified a hundred fold. Because another figure entered the meadow then. It approached from behind her, slowly, stealthily, quietly, and she was not aware of its presence. I wanted to call out to her, to warn her that someone was there, and had to bite the words back before the left my lips. She was so beautiful, so innocent. I needed to protect her from whoever this was. I needed to keep her safe. My goddess. My affirmation.
The figure grew nearer, and the light broke through the trees, making the face of the intruder plainly visible. Alice flinched next to me, her hand seeking out mine, squeezing it hard, offering me comfort, strength, support. It was me. I was in the meadow. I was the intruder. And lord no but I kept walking towards the angel. I was three feet away. Then two. Then one. And then I was upon her. And then, please no, I wrapped my arms around her waist, drawing her back into my chest. And, please make this stop, she sighed and complied with my action, tilting her neck ever so slightly so that her beautiful head rested back against my shoulder, closing her enchanting eyes and biting her lip as she purred a contented sigh. And then, please help her, I was lowering my mouth to her smooth neck, eyes hooded, a low growl emanating from my chest. My lips connected with her skin. Her eyes flew open. And it ended.
I dropped to my knees. Dropped to my knees and brought my hands to my face and tried to will it away. My fingers found my hair and pulled, trying to make it stop, trying to make it so it had never happened. All I could hear was her beautiful sigh, the sound of sheer happiness, total joy incarnate, but then my mouth was there. And with my mouth comes my fangs. And she was so happy and so perfect and I... Oh god.
And then Alice was beside me, wrapping her arms around me and telling me it was alright. Telling me it didn't have to happen. Telling me that it was just a possibility. And I couldn't listen to her. I couldn't understand what she was saying because all I could see before me was chestnut hair and chocolate eyes. All I could see was blushing cheeks across alabaster skin. All I could see was those pink lips as she reacted to my touch. And she was so beautiful. And I killed her. I killed her.
"When, Alice? Who was she? Where does this happen? This can't happen?"
And if I could have cried my face would have been damp with tears. They would have soaked my truest friend's shirt as she held me. They would have been a physical manifestation of the guilt that tore through my body. Of my anguish. Of my hatred. But the dead can't cry. And so my pain stayed trapped within me, growing and growing until I could feel nothing but rage, nothing but indignation. Because I shouldn't have seen such a thing. I shouldn't have been shown such a creature only to see her destroyed moments later at my own hands, by my own venom. I shouldn't have known she existed. But this girl, this woman, this goddess, this angel, this siren... she would always be there now. And I'd known what I'd done to her, what I would do. And, god, this isn't fair.
"I don't know, Edward. I don't know."
And, from her voice, I could tell that she would have been crying, too. And I felt worse.
"I can't hurt her. She's so beautiful. God, Alice, she's so beautiful. Please, you can't let me hurt her."
"I know what she looks like, Edward. I know what she looks like now and I'll watch for her. I promise you, I'll watch for her and I won't let you hurt her. We'll protect her. And I'll protect you. I promise, Edward. I promise."
A/N: After re-writing this for weeks I'm kind of pissed. This hasn't been edited, cause I'm hyper or lazy or something, and when it is I'll update it, but I hope it reads alright.
So... yeah. Didn't get too many reviews last time. It made me sad. If you review, I'll update faster. And I'll be a better person. Help old ladies across the street and rescue kittens from trees and whatnot. So, you should review. For the good of society. And the world as a whole.