AN: I'm so sorry I have taken so long to update. I have been insanely busy and then I didn't have internet for the last week. Here it is though! I'm happy with it, so I really hope you enjoy!
Kaine.
Chapter 1. All I Have are Memories.
Elena's brow was set in a deep frown. She swept her eyes over the kitchen table, then dashed out into the hall and scanned the dresser by the stairs. She huffed impatiently, kneading her forehead with her knuckles and stomped back into the kitchen.
'You ok?' Jenna asked, eyeing Elena warily over her piece of toast.
Elena slumped into a seat, yanked her mug of coffee towards her and sighed, 'Can't find my keys.'
'Uh-huh,' Jenna chewed thoughtfully for a moment, bobbing her head slowly, then she placed her toast down and leant forward with an inquisitive eyebrow raised, 'So the dramatic pout, dark eyes and serious attitude are the car keys fault, right?'
Elena shot Jenna a look, exhibiting the accused 'attitude' perfectly, but said nothing.
Jenna's slightly mocking smile faded, and her expression softened with concern, 'What's wrong?'
Elena had to close her eyes for a second as she struggled to retain some form of composure. What's wrong? It was such a simple question, yet she had no idea how to answer. It would be so easy to break down and to tell Jenna what Katherine had said. Her Aunt knew that Damon had killed her, her Aunt knew about the vampires now – why should she not know everything? Maybe she'd be able to reassure Elena, in a way that Stefan simply couldn't.
But no. She could not do it. She couldn't share the burden and cause Jenna more pain. Besides, she knew it would make no difference. There was only one person that would understand her. Only one person who could make her feel safe again. Absent-mindedly, she began to fiddle with the ring on her finger.
Jenna's eyes followed the movement and she leant forward slightly, 'I haven't seen that before. Stefan?'
Elena felt a surge of fire shoot through her. She couldn't explain it. She didn't want to understand it, but all too clearly, she could picture Damon's face that day, as she told him that she would always be Stefan's. The way his eyes had darkened, the way his skin had grown taut with tension. The way he had simply accepted it. So this ring, this one thing he had left behind of himself – it could only ever be his. Never anyone else's. This ring was Damon.
She realised with a start that she had been silent for too long and that her eyes were burning holes into Jenna's. She took a deep breath, glanced away and forced a smile onto her lips.
'Its just old,' she said quickly, wondering why she didn't just say who it was from, 'and I'm sorry...I just haven't been sleeping well.' She took a large gulp of coffee, as if to prove a point.
Jenna's gaze hardened. She placed her toast down, brushing the crumbs off her fingers and cleared her throat pointedly. Elena stared at the floor and rolled her eyes. She knew exactly what was coming.
'Maybe...' Jenna began slowly, 'You shouldn't go in today?'
Elena shook her head with a small smile but didn't respond. She downed the rest of her coffee and closed her eyes with a comfortable sigh.
Jenna simply continued, she could be as determined and headstrong as her niece at times; 'Seriously Elena, you work such long hours at the Grill. No wonder you're exhausted!'
Elena stood with her mug and carried it over to the kitchen sink as Jenna launched into another of her familiar tirades about Elena's choice of career.
'You shouldn't even be there Elena. You're more than that place! You're an intelligent girl; you should be at University like Bonnie, or even just working in the city...like Caroline! You don't want to be stuck here for ever...'
Elena had heard it all before. And like every other time, she just could not explain. At least, she couldn't explain in a way that Jenna would understand. But Elena knew...she could not leave Mystic Falls. After everything that she had seen happen, everything that she had experienced. She was afraid that if she left to make something of herself, she'd come back and her home would be gone. She couldn't explain it. But that fear gnawed at her every day, a constant companion to all her other concerns.
As the cold water of the tap coated her fingers, zapping her with a surge of energy, Elena's thoughts drifted. Besides, if she left Mystic Falls, how would Damon ever find her again?
Even with her back to him, she sensed him there. Always. She sensed his smirk. But mostly, she sensed his happiness. Something she hadn't felt from him before. He was happy that he was here, in her kitchen. That he was part of something so normal.
Family Night.
She ran the last plate under the tap, rinsing off the suds and as the cold water of the tap coated her fingers she felt a sharp thrill. He was watching her. And she hated the way it made her feel.
She forced her features into some semblance of normality and turned, being careful not to look at him directly. But she saw him turn too, dishcloth tossed casually over his shoulder. He looked so...human.
She kept her eyes averted as he got closer and closer. But he didn't turn away from her. He kept coming and for some reason she could not explain, her heart began to pound.
Closer...
Closer...
And he didn't turn away. Instead he leant into her...and later, she would pretend to herself that she tried to move out of his way. But she didn't. She wanted that contact. She wanted to feel that current rush through her, that exhilaration.
His chest bumped against hers and she smiled, shaking her head slowly.
'Don't do that.'
She shot him a playful look, unable to stop herself.
His eyes sparkled, dancing with the light, 'Do what?'
She wanted to laugh. She wanted to play this game forever.
'You know what! That move was deliberate!'
She watched him. Every bit of him. He turned so he was walking backwards. His shoulders hunched slightly as he raised his arms in an innocent shrug. His eyes met hers and she saw so many things in them that frightened her...and thrilled her.
'Yeah...I was deliberately trying to get to the...sink.'
'Elena? Are you even listening to me?'
Jenna's voice permeated the memory like a thunderbolt. Elena jumped. The mug slipped from her fingers and clattered into the sink. She drew in a breath too quickly and her heart fluttered as she gasped. She gripped the edge of the sink until her knuckles were white and squeezed her eyes shut. She was close to tears and she hated herself for it. This was insane.
'Ok, that is it,' there was iron resolve in Jenna's voice, and Elena heard her chair scrape back as she stood, 'You're not going to work today. You are staying home and getting some sleep if I...'
Just then, Jeremy sauntered into the kitchen. He yawned widely and scratched the back of his head as he surveyed the scene before him. He looked from Elena, standing rigid at the sink, to Jenna, who was mid-rant, eyes blazing stubbornly.
He rolled his eyes and strode around the table, clapping Jenna on the back with a smile, 'Seriously, Aunt J, you're trying this again? Leave the poor girl alone!' He chuckled lightly as he grabbed Jenna's toast and stuffed into his mouth.
As Jenna whirled on Jeremy, Elena shot a quick look over her shoulder. She caught Jeremy's eye and mouthed a silent thank you. As he held Jenna's toast above her head, just out of her reach, he tossed Elena a wink.
She felt a surge of love for her brother as she slipped out of the kitchen. With the sound of Jenna's raised voice behind her, she grabbed her keys and started on her way to work.
Elena stared at the door.
Her jaw was slack, her eyes vacant. Her fingers tapped the bar mechanically. The Grill was empty, and it had been all day. The only customer was Old Bob over in the corner, constantly drunk and constantly at that same table.
If it hadn't been for the fact that Matt was working, Elena would have had no company but her thoughts. And her thoughts were something she was trying to avoid.
She glanced at the clock and sighed. Two hours. Two hours and then she would be home. Her mind turned to Stefan, and she realised with a start that it was the first time she had thought about him all day. She wondered if she could see him this evening. She was sure that he could find some way to distract her, for a few hours at least.
But the thought didn't excite her like it should. She didn't need to see him. She didn't want to see him. She didn't want anything anymore. She was numb. Every way that she turned, she simply saw a great void. A void of emptiness that was waiting patiently to suck her in.
'Elena?'
'Hmmm?' She turned her head slowly and smiled at Matt. It was a small smile, but affectionate. She was happy that after everything, she could call Matt her best friend again.
He grinned at her, the corners of his eyes crinkled happily, 'You were off somewhere for a moment there E!'
His constant happiness was infectious and Elena's smile widened. Maybe she needed to spend more time with Matt, to drag herself out of the darkness.
'Sorry Matt, I didn't sleep well last night.'
He pulled the dishcloth from the pocket of his jeans and threw it over his shoulder as he hopped up onto one of the bar stools. Elena had to look away as she winced.
But Matt didn't notice. 'Doesn't help being stuck here all day. I've never seen it so dead!'
Elena shrugged, 'I don't mind...'
He looked at her, appraising her for a moment. Then he sighed, 'I still can't believe that Elena Gilbert, darling of Mystic Falls, is working full-time at the Grill...'
Elena rolled her eyes, 'Please, don't you start. I already heard it from Jenna this morning...'
Matt laughed, 'Fine. But she is right.' When Elena's expression darkened, Matt simply laughed again and held up his hands to ward off her rage, 'Ok...ok! I'm sorry! Anyway, I need to go check stocks, but I meant to ask...you coming to Tyler's party tonight?'
Elena felt her stomach turn to ice. Her eyes dropped away from Matt's, and her mouth was suddenly dry. She licked her lips anxiously. The thought of being in the mansion, with all those people...the thought of having to act normal...it terrified her.
Either Matt didn't sense the change in her mood, or he ignored it. 'Come on Elena! You haven't been out with everyone in ages. Caroline begged me to force you to come! Bring Stefan along. It'll be fun...'
Elena plastered a smile across her face, a smile that was more of a grimace. She glanced quickly up at Matt, 'I'll think about it,' then she looked away again, feeling a rush of heat to her cheeks. What was wrong with her?
Matt didn't say anything for a moment. She felt his eyes on her back, no doubt round with concern. Then she heard him slip off the stool and say, 'Ok. If you need anything, I'm just round the back.'
She heard his heavy footsteps fade away and let out the breath she had been holding. She had seen vampires, werewolves and death. Yet the thought of a simple party, with all of her friends, terrified her? How did that work?
Elena shook herself. Maybe Stefan had been right, maybe Katherine was just playing games. Maybe Elena was letting her win, one last time.
A shaft of cool breeze ruffled Elena's hair as the door to the Grill opened. She turned, surprised, and her heart stopped beating.
She saw dark hair. She saw a leather jacket. Every hair on her body stood in shock, and her blood pounded with anticipation as the figure raised his head.
Then the darkness nearly overwhelmed her completely. It wasn't him.
'I like you better like this.'
He simply appeared before her.
She wished she could tell him not to do that. She wished she could tell him that when he surprised her, she didn't have time to prepare her heart for his presence. But she couldn't. He could never know.
'The period look. Didn't suit you...'
She narrowed her eyes, struggling to stop her lip from curling. She was always ready to smile around him.
'Is that an insult?'
His eyes widened ever so slightly. It was almost imperceptible. Once, she would not have noticed. But she knew him too well now. She knew every line of his face, every quirk of his features. He wouldn't insult her...not now...not ever.
'Actually Elena...it was a compliment of the highest order.'
'Excuse me Miss?'
Elena blinked.
It took a moment for her to realise she was being spoken too. She turned dumbly to find the leather-clad man stood at the bar, and for the first time in months – her thoughts were totally clear.
She felt only one thing...afraid.
His eyes were black. Black and cold. They were fixed on her and they made her skin crawl. They were hungry, they were violent. His skin was white, ghostly pale. His features seemed carved from marble. He was beautiful. But it was a beauty that was terrifying. Too beautiful. So perfect, that it hurt to look at him. But she could not look away.
'Can I help you?' she managed breathlessly, her voice no more than a whisper.
He shifted where he stood, cocking his head with a smirk, and Elena felt sick. It was a movement so familiar, but it was wrong. Coming from anybody else...it was tainted, and as the man moved, she felt power pulse off him. It resonated through her. Like a warning. Like he was telling her what he could do to her, if he wanted.
He didn't respond immediately. He simply stared. Elena swallowed thickly, holding herself taut even as every inch of her trembled.
Then he spoke. His voice was like venom, dripping with the promise of pain.
'Elena Gilbert.' He stated simply.
Elena's heart quailed. This...thing knew her name. Her mind shot back to that night, and Katherine's words were clear in her mind once more.
'Killing me won't change a thing Damon. They won't stop until they have Elena...and they'll kill you without a moment's pause if you try and stop them.'
Her stomach lurched.
Then the man simply nodded. It seemed he did not need to hear her confirm who she was. He knew.
Faster than was humanly possible, the man reached over the bar and grabbed Elena's wrist. She gasped loudly as he pulled her against the bar, but Matt was nowhere near and Old Bob was too drunk to notice.
The man's face was suddenly too close and all Elena could do was stare fearfully, silently. He smiled darkly, face barely inches from hers. Then his grip shifted on her wrist. Where he had held her harshly at first, his hold on her softened. His fingers brushed her skin, and her stomach turned. Then, without breaking eye contact, he lowered his head.
Slowly.
Slowly.
And his lips brushed the back of her hand.
'It was nice to meet you Damon.'
'Great meeting you too Elena.'
Then the man...no...the vampire was gone, and Elena realised with a start that she was crying.
AN: Hope that was ok! Won't be as long until the next update! REVIEW!