One year ago…
To the outside world, Beca Mitchell seemed to have the perfect life. She was now the leader of the reigning ICCA champions, she had a group of close knit and very loyal friends, and she was in a picture perfect relationship with the seemingly perfect guy. Yes, to anybody looking from the outside in, Beca had it all. Only she knew the real truth.
In spite of all the good things going on in her life, something was missing. Beca knew that she should be content with the direction her life had taken, but something deep inside her could never feel complete. She felt like a puzzle that's missing it's final piece. Deep in her heart she knew that she was fated for a life different from the one she was currently living.
She and Jesse had been dating ever since the night of the ICCA Finals. She had tried to make it work for his sake, but there was just no spark there. It had only taken a short while for her to come to the realization that she could only care for Jesse as a friend. In all actuality, she had known this the whole time, but he had been so persistent. He had pushed until she was convinced that she was just putting up emotional barriers and that she was just afraid of showing her vulnerable side.
So many times she had asked herself why she even stayed in the relationship. She knew it was wrong to string Jesse along, but she was afraid. She was afraid to leave the comfort of what she was familiar with to venture into new and unsure territory. In typical Beca fashion, she refused to face her problems head on.
Beca missed the way things used to be. Back when Chloe and Aubrey were still at Barden, and she was the freshman "alt girl" whose main purpose in life was to be Aubrey's own personal pain in the ass. Though she and Chloe still stayed in contact with each other, it just wasn't the same. She missed Chloe's spontaneity and bubbly disposition. She missed late night talks in Chloe's dorm and she missed seeing that one of a kind smile that seemed to be permanently etched into the other woman's face.
It wasn't until Aubrey and Chloe moved to New York that Beca realized what a big part of her life that Chloe actually was. She was left with this giant void in her life that nothing could fill. Chloe had been the first person in her life to accept her just the way she is. She never demanded anything of her and she never tried to change who she was. The walls that stopped everyone else from making a real connection with Beca never once deterred Chloe. She bulldozed right through every wall that Beca had ever constructed around her heart and honestly, Beca could never bring herself to be alarmed by how easily she was able to pull it off.
She was well aware that her feelings for the redhead went well beyond what a friend is supposed to feel. It was something she had come to terms with. So often she wanted to tell Chloe the true nature of her feelings, but she somehow always convinced herself that it was a bad idea. The fear of rejection overruled the desire to make her feelings known. Having Chloe in her life, even if it was just as friends, was better than nothing. Right?